Chapter 31
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Scout
After we got home, we took a shower and Luka made good on his promise to clean me up—after he got me dirty, of course.
That man sure knows how to keep me satisfied.
I swear he knows my body better than I do.
He's so attentive, always paying attention to what I like, making every time we have sex better than the time before.
And the things he says to me during sex… I ought to be ashamed for getting turned on by his filthy words, but I love how desired it makes me feel.
Can a person die from having too many orgasms? At this point, it doesn’t even feel fair.
It’s like every single encounter we have heals me a little more as Luka slowly rewires my brain and reprograms me using the same vile things my parents used to say to me.
Only, unlike my parents, I know he doesn’t mean it.
Everything Luka does, every decision he makes is purposeful, and making me happy is his sole intention.
“Here we are,” Luka says, gesturing to the downtown square as he climbs off the bike.
He doesn’t wait for me to climb off before lifting me and placing me gently on my feet.
I tilt my head as his fingers work to unbuckle my helmet.
The smile he gives me in return fills me with so much warmth.
I’m still getting used to being doted on, but I love how much he seems to enjoy taking care of me.
He gives my cheek a little squeeze before kissing me on the forehead, and the warmth in my belly turns into a full-blown inferno.
It’s just after sunset, and the street lights flicker, illuminating our quaint downtown as muffled sounds of live music echo from Restaurant. People bustle along the cobblestone paths filing in and out of shops as the town shifts from day to night, bringing out a whole new crowd.
We pass by a mother and father laughing as they swing their child between them while trying to eat their ice cream cones.
It almost seems too picturesque, like something you’d see in a Hallmark movie, but that’s the thing about this place: it seems to attract the happiest people—for the most part. Anyway.
It’s safe to say that the people in this town are by no means perfect, especially the way they’ve treated Luka after he got out of prison.
But in their defense, he hasn’t exactly gone out of his way to prove them wrong.
If anything, he’s leaned into the whole loser act, pretending like he doesn’t care what anyone thinks of him.
They may not be able to see through it, but I do.
I only wish he could let down his guard a little, be real with them, and let them see the side of him that I see. There’s no doubt in my mind they’d change their opinions of him. Anyone would after seeing Luka’s fierce loyalty and his heart of gold.
And as much as I wish I could do it for him, it’s something he has to believe about himself first. Now I’ve just got to figure out how to get through to him to make him see it.
“Chili dog or smash burger?” Luka asks as we make our way to Food Truck to order.
At first, I was surprised that Jett would allow a food truck in Ashford Falls, but Luka informed me that they have a special permit allowing them to park in the downtown square Friday through Sunday, which was actually Jett’s idea.
With the town growing, he needed a little help lightening his weekend load.
Looks like people can change after all…
“Chili dog,” I say with a smile. “Extra jalapenos.”
Luka shakes his head and laughs, ordering himself the same as well as a large soda to share. We get our food, and he takes my hand, leading us over to the small park across the street.
The park is a little worn compared to what I remember.. The bright red slide’s now faded to an almost pink, and the merry-go-round sits with a slight tilt from the years of aggressive play. And for some reason, I find it that much more endearing.
We take a seat on the merry-go-round, it’s cold metal creaking beneath our weight as we dig into our food.
A comfortable silence stretches between us as we both seem to disappear into our thoughts.
My eyes take in the nostalgic park before me, and for a moment, it feels like I’ve been transported back in time.
I can almost hear the sounds of squealing children, feel the hot summer sun against my skin, and smell the sunscreen and rusted metal from the playground equipment.
Luka presses his feet against the ground, making us spin in a slow circle.
There’s not a single memory I have of this park that doesn’t involve Luka or one of his brothers launching someone off this thing.
They were sort of known for it, and kids would line up for their turn to see if they were strong enough to stay on.
From what I can remember, Roman was the only one who couldn’t be thrown off.
I’m surprised it’s held up this long after the years and years of abuse, though I suppose it’s not without its scars. I don’t think anything or anyone makes it out without some sort of mark, even if they’re invisible.
“What’s on your mind, pretty girl?” Luka’s voice breaks through the silence, his endearing words as soothing as the first sip of morning coffee, and I feel that heat in my chest begin to return.
“I was just thinking about how feral you and your brothers used to be out here, slinging kids off this merry-go-round without a single ounce of remorse.” I shake my head and laugh just picturing it.
Luka scoots closer, his palm cupping my cheek as he straightens my glasses. His grin grows wider, and he shrugs. “What can I say, we were just giving the people what they wanted.”
His eyes drop to my lips and then back up to meet my gaze as his hand slides to the back of my head. I lean into his touch, loving how possessive and intentional he is, like he can’t help himself. It’s like there’s this magnetic pull between us, and he’s finally tired of fighting it.
“It seems you have a knack for that.” I kiss his wrist as his fingers move through my hair, my gaze never leaving his. “I guess you’ve always been that way, though. I didn’t realize it at the time, but looking back, I can see it. You always anticipated what I needed, always paid attention.”
“Yeah, well, in my defense, it was pretty hard not to.” He swallows thickly, and my eyes narrow in on his Adam’s apple.
“You needed me, and it felt so good to be there for you, to know that I was the one to make you laugh when you came to school sad. That I was the only one who knew what your voice sounded like for almost an entire school year.”
He shrugs again, then pulls me into his lap.
I wrap my legs on either side of him as his hands move up and down my back, our eyes and lips only inches apart.
It’s as if he’s gazing straight into my soul, seeing me in all my brokenness, completely as I am.
All our unspoken truths bubbling to the surface.
I breathe in a sigh, needing to speak my piece and finally clear the air. “You were always there for me, and when you needed me the most, I turned my back on you…”
Luka shakes his head, pulling me into a hug. “No, baby, don’t do that to yourself. That was a long time ago, and you’re right, you never asked me to do it.” He pulls away from our hug, trying to get me to look at him, but I can’t.
“I should’ve told you from the beginning, but I didn’t want to make things worse than they already were.” I shake my head as my eyes well with tears.
Luka brushes my tears from my cheek as he holds my face between his hands. “There’s nothing you can say that’s going to make me hate you, Scout. I promise, baby, I’ve put the past behind me. It’s all over.”
“That night, after you got arrested, I went to my dad and told him everything. That I’d been the one who spray-painted the building and that you took the fall to protect me.
I begged him to help you get off, begged him to bring me up there so I could tell everyone that it was me…
He was so angry, but it was late and he promised he’d try to smooth things over the next morning.
“He must’ve stayed up all night making plans.
“The next morning, I got in the car, thinking we were going to the police station, but when we passed it, the car didn’t stop.
I cried and pleaded for them to go back, but the decision had been made.
On the drive to my new school, the one I didn’t even apply for, he informed me of the new plan.
That I could kiss my dreams of art school goodbye, and if I tried to fight him on it, he’d make sure you saw the fullest sentence possible.
” I shake my head as the streams of tears fall down my cheeks.
“I had no idea he’d gone back on his word, Luka. You have to believe me.”
“I believe you, Scout,” he says, smoothing my hair like he’s trying to comfort me.
“I did everything he asked me to do. I played by his rules and even agreed to date Jimmy. But as soon as I learned what happened, that you’d gone to prison for it, I freaked out. I left school and drove straight to the prison. I needed to see you, to explain.”
His expression tightens, but he doesn’t say anything, just lets me finish.
“That’s when I ran into Jett. He was outside waiting to go in.
” My eyes fall as I finally tell him the truth.
“He told me to leave you alone, that I’d ruined your life enough.
That you were finally starting to heal and seeing me would only do more damage.
He asked me to stay away from you; that there was nothing I could say that would ever make you forgive me, so I may as well take advantage of your sacrifice. That you were better off without me.”