33. Hadrian
33
HADRIAN
M y phone buzzes, and I glare down at the screen as I see my brother’s name. Of course the little prick is already starting a fight, it’s what he does best after all.
Julian
What the fuck have you done?
Hadrian
What the fuck are you on about?
I’ve not done anything.
Deny, deny, deny. It’s all I can do right now, and maybe I’ll get out of this confrontation without everything blowing up in my face.
I don’t know how much he and my Uncle talk, but I do not want this news getting relayed back to him. I can already hear the disappointed lecture he’d be giving me, and my pegasus and I do not want to hear it.
Nope, not at all.
Julian
Lucifer texted me telling me that you and Maeve are mates.
When he found her, she was with you, in a dark dingy alleyway.
Oh, he’s so fucking dramatic.
I glare over at the imp, and snark out a reply to Maeve’s latest scathing statement. Between my shit-stirring cousin, and a mate who’d rather see me dead than mated to her, my ego is taking a hell of a beating tonight, and I’m sick of it.
I never once thought she’d be mine too. Why would she? I don’t deserve a mate, never have. I’ve been a disappointment from the moment I was born.
I’m a mess, a complete and utter fuck-up. Where Lucifer has thrived without the ties to our family, living alone in a chaotic world that benefits him, I haven’t. I’ve been alone—abandoned—and constantly left to struggle.
The only people who have genuinely been there for me, are my Aunt and Uncle. The same very people who Maeve detests.
Fate’s a twisted bitch. It’s like she’s getting some sick thrill out of watching me burn.
I just don’t know if she’s lighting the match, or if Maeve is going to do it instead.
Hadrian
Yeah, did he also tell you I protected her from some obsessed creep?
I couldn’t just stand back and watch her be harassed, knowing she was alone and vulnerable.
It doesn’t matter that she doesn’t want me, now, I still don’t regret my behaviour. She needed me, she needed someone . I had no choice but to follow the call.
Fuck me, she was like an angel with a vengeance. A dark shadowy aura that lit up, and I could practically feel the darkness radiating from her as I approached. It faded the moment the bond clicked into place, but that moment was everything.
Until the cold-hearted mate of mine told me she hates me, and wants nothing to do with me.
Julian
If you care that much about her, then why the fuck are you being an asshole to her?
Get your head in the fucking game, brother.
Who the fuck is he to tell me how to behave? He’s acting like he knows me, that he can talk down to me. I’m the older brother, I’m the only one with real world fucking experience. He’s a joke.
In fact, Julian has been the catalyst in all of this shit. Maeve would still be on the compound, protected , if it weren’t for him showing up and disrupting her life in the first place.
He’s to blame for all of these problems.
Hadrian
She’s just riling me up.
She hates me.
Hates all of us.
It’s not fucking fair.
I’ve done nothing to her, except be nice, and save her.
I’ve helped her.
It wasn’t my fault that our bond snapped into place.
And it’s also not my fault she can’t feel the fucking thing.
I saved her, and she’d rather spit in my fucking face, than acknowledge what I did. Hell, she’s even keeping it a secret from her boss, as if it’s something dirty and embarrassing.
As if I am something to be ashamed over.
Julian
Don’t go there, trust me.
Hadrian
Well it’s shit. She’s my mate, and she wants nothing to do with me whatsoever.
She’s denying our bond, pretending it doesn’t exist, and refusing to touch me to prove otherwise. I hate it. I hate the way my pegasus is preening, desperate to get her attention. I hate the anger he sends my way when I make her mad.
I don’t know what the fuck he wants from me.
Maeve hates me, like the vast majority of my family. She sees me as worthless, as not good enough for her.
Well fuck her.
I don’t want a mate like that anyway.
My gaze drifts to her. She’s sitting there, letting the ursarix fawn over her like she’s some fucking angel. But I know better.
Fucking idiot.
I can’t help but snark at them both, annoyance filling me, even if the rude comment is only just a distraction from the pain inside.
I return to my phone, where I can take my rage out on my brother.
Julian
Oh, boo fucking hoo.
Acting like the biggest asshole you can, isn’t going to get her to change her mind.
It’ll just confirm what she already thinks.
I sneer down at my phone, getting angrier at him—at all of them.
Hadrian
What makes you think I give a fuck about changing her mind?
She’s made her opinion clear.
She wants none of us.
Julian
Because she’s been hurt.
We need to give her time, and let her just learn to trust us in the ways she can.
Hadrian
She doesn’t have the exclusive rights to being hurt, brother.
Julian
And yet, you’re acting like an asshole to her.
Which is mirroring the exact behaviour she’s giving you.
I don’t understand the issue here.
You’re making problems where none need to exist.
She’s been hurt, so have you, so why can’t you bond over that, instead of being a prick?
Julian’s words hit harder than I’ll ever admit to him. What does he know about being hurt?
Hadrian
I’m not going to pant after her like the rest of you and wait for her to change her mind.
Why should I? I’m not going to waste my time begging someone to love me.
I’ve tried it, and it’s never once worked. I spent years trying to get scraps of attention, and it only came when time after time I proved them right. They only gave a fuck when I embarrassed the family name, when I pissed them off at school.
Nobody cared when I was good, or smart, or achieving.
They only cared about the destruction I could cause.
Julian
Trust me, Hades, she won’t be changing her mind without you doing the work.
She does not want a mate.
We’re not trying to force ourselves onto her in that capacity.
We’re just being here to help her where we can.
Hadrian
When the fuck did you become this much of a sap?
Julian
When the fuck did you become this much of a cunt?
Hadrian
Probably in the time you decided I wasn’t good enough and stopped talking to me.
Julian
Are you for real?
We both know that’s not how things went down.
I’m not going to sit here and let you pretend otherwise.
Hadrian
Fuck you, Julian.
I’m done with this conversation.
How dare he sit there and talk to me like I’m the problem.
All I’ve ever wanted was my family back, to have them accept me for me, to have them care about me.
I was the first born, the one who was meant to be raised in the life that Julian had. They’re big on the heir and a spare bullshit, and got extremely lucky when both Julian and I were born healthy.
It’s very rare for a pegasi to have more than one foal, and for my mum to survive the pregnancy with us both healthy? It was a miracle.
Until I ruined everything by being a dark pegasus, rather than the pure light one that they wanted.
I’m a stain on the family, on them.
Adrian’s helped me out where he can, offered to let me live with him and Helen, but I wouldn’t put them in that position.
Which has left me alone, and even the twin who I thought would at least care , didn’t.
He deserted me and played into being our parent’s puppet.
The good, light, son, who would do whatever they wanted.
He’s nauseating, and once again, I’ve let him play me like a fucking fool.
Well screw him.
I glare over at where Maeve is sitting, my anger bubbling up at how relaxed she seems, despite all the shit she’s causing. She’s so calm, so unbothered, whilst my entire world burns around her.
Well screw her too.