32. Maeve
32
MAEVE
“ I ’ll get it,” Lucifer says, getting up from the sofa. He eyes Hadrian and I with distrust. “Do not let me hear you two fighting.”
I salute him, but Hadrian doesn’t even bother looking up from his phone. The complete disregard pisses me off more than any snarky comment he could throw my way. He’s typing away, and I’m kind of curious if he’s texting Adrian.
Or maybe it’s Julian that is getting such heated messages.
My phone is sitting on the coffee table, but I’ve been too much of a coward to check it. I don’t want to know if Julian has messaged or what he might have said, if he has.
Every time I spot it, it’s like a ticking time bomb, a reminder of everything I ran away from, everything I can’t bring myself to deal with.
My heart is thudding as I hear a familiar growl, and my chromius wakes up from her self-imposed isolation nap. She hums under my skin, suddenly restless, her excited anxiety seeping into mine in an uncomfortable way.
My boss rounds the corner, a panicked expression on his face that barely fades when he sees me.
His eyes are bright gold, his hair windswept, as he drops to his knees next to my armchair. He doesn’t impose over me, it doesn’t feel like I’m being crowded.
He’s just letting himself be reassured that I’m fine.
“Nothing happened,” I murmur, and we both ignore the snort from Hadrian. “I’m sorry I left the office without clearing it with you first.”
“I don’t give a fuck about you clearing it with me, Maeve. I care that nobody knew where you were. Don’t ever do that to me again,” he demands, and I nod my head, grateful he doesn’t sound as annoyed as Lucifer. His voice shakes slightly, but he hides it well.
It’s not the words that get to me—it’s the worry buried underneath them.
I can count on one hand the amount of times someone has been genuinely concerned about me in my entire life. I don’t like the way it makes me feel, and I hate even more the appreciation that my chromius has.
I refuse to let her get attached to anyone else.
Draven shudders and immediately loses the fight within him. “You look exhausted, little angel.”
“Not an angel,” Hadrian mutters, still typing viciously on his phone. He seems more worked up now than he was when we got here. Poor little pegasus.
“Don’t talk to me,” Draven snarls, glaring at the pegasus before turning around to me with a wary look in his eyes. “Who is that?”
“Security,” I say, waving off the confused look in Draven’s eyes. “Don’t worry, he’s nobody important.”
I reach for the blanket over the back of my armchair and wrap myself up inside it. The chill digs into my bones, but it’s not just the cold—it’s everything. The day. The mess. Julian .
“I mean, his name is Hadrian Graves, and he’s her other fated mate,” Lucifer says with a cheery grin. “Julian’s identical twin brother.”
“Not identical,” Hadrian mutters, pausing to sneer at his cousin.
“One is a light pegasus and the other a dark,” Lucifer says, rolling his eyes. “But isn’t that so fun, Draven? Two fated mates for our little angel here?”
Draven growls low in his throat, and I sigh, not in any mood to deal with more bickering. The tension between them rolls like a storm, and my chromius hisses in warning, restless with their combined energy.
I’m exhausted, today has been ridiculous in how anxious and overwhelmed I’ve been.
Sure, I’ve caused it, but only now do I feel like I can relax. All the anxiety, the uncertainty, the guilt, has gone, and I’m just exhausted—mentally drained, and physically wrung out.
Draven’s eyes dart to me, his gold orbs taking in my weary state. “Want to go have a nap?”
I shake my head, knowing that if I try to go to sleep right now, I’ll either lay awake for hours ruminating over what has happened today or I’ll sleep and be woken up with a vicious nightmare.
“Catch me up on work?” I ask tentatively.
“Let me run to my flat first to grab my laptop, then we can,” he says softly.
“How long will you be?” I ask, debating on going to make a hot chocolate. My blanket isn’t doing much to help with this chill.
“Two minutes,” he replies. “I’m only two flats down from you.”
“You live here?” I ask, raising my brows. He nods his head. “So coincidental.”
You know, if you believe in them. Fate’s a twisted bitch, and once again, she’s trying to punish me or force me into some part of her game. It’s one I’m not a willing participant in, but she doesn’t care about consent.
I’ve got to hand it to her, I suppose, that she’s at least marginally better at the life game of chess than Adrian is, but unfortunately for me, she’s just as vicious.
“Not really, this is where a lot of the business members of the pride live,” Draven replies with a shrug. “We’re close to Legal Pride and the business hub, so for those without mates or people who travel often, this is a handy location.”
“Pretty good Wi-Fi, too,” Lucifer adds, as Draven heads out of the flat to go to his own.
“Where do you live?” I ask, looking over at Hadrian.
“I don’t have a permanent place here. I’m not a member of the pride,” he replies, and I frown.
“Then why are you here?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Hadrian replies with that I-am-better-than-you attitude that grates both me and my chromius.
“I would,” Lucifer says. Hadrian shoots him a dirty look, and Lucifer sighs heavily. “I see.”
“I don’t,” I protest. “You guys aren’t alone you know.”
“Which is why I didn’t answer the question, sweetheart,” Hadrian says before returning to his phone.
“I don’t really love your attitude,” I mutter.
With the room quiet and both men busy with their own tasks, my thoughts get so loud I can’t ignore them anymore. I finally suck it up and reach forward for my own phone. My stomach flips, my chromius coiling inside me, sensing my reluctant hesitance.
Whilst Draven’s gone, I may as well check to see what my messages are looking like so I can let some of this anxiety go.
The group chat is unusually silent, but that’s probably since Ari’s busy this morning. I’ve got a text from Adrian letting me know he’s on a trip but to call if I need anything.
Gag . I read it but don’t bother replying. If fate wants to do me a solid, she could crash his plane for me before he can reach his destination. Let the fucker die.
Or upon his return trip. I don’t care either way, as long as it happens.
Hear that, fate? Here’s something you could grant me in exchange for the fucked up games you’re playing.
There’s eight messages from Julian, the latest one the only one I can see without clicking on the chat. My breath catches, it’s like tiny little ice ants are crawling through my veins.
“You okay?” Hadrian asks, surprisingly, in a kind tone. I look over at him. His voice is softer, his arrogance dialled down just enough to make me pause. “You seem a little scared of your phone. What is it?”
“I’m fine, mind your own business,” I mutter, clicking on Julian’s chat, letting my anger at his twin spur me on.
Julian
Maeve, that’s not what it seemed.
It was my cousin.
Give me a call back. Please.
Maeve—Luc told me you’re gone. Please respond if you get this message.
I am really worried about you, pretty girl.
He’s found you. Let me know you’re okay, please.
Of course, he’s found me. I bet he’s not even talking about Lucifer here—but his brother instead. Him, Adrian, Hadrian… the pieces are all falling into place, and I don’t want any part of it.
They’re fucked up men, and soon enough, I’ll be out from under Adrian’s thumb, and everything will be okay.
Julian
Please, talk to me. I didn’t mean to cause any of this.
I fucking hate being stuck on this compound so far away from you, pretty girl.
I just bet he does. It’s got to be hard to make the progress Adrian’s demanding when he’s this far away from me. Fool .
Maeve
I’m fine.
Julian
Thank fuck.
I’m sorry I had you doubting me.
Maeve
It’s the foundation of our relationship, Julian.
What else would you expect from me?
Can I play it off? Can I try to avoid the shame of what I said and how much I overreacted? Can I just let him take the blame? I don’t care about morals, this is absolutely the best thing for me.
Guilt seeps in, cold and sharp, and I can’t tell if it comes from my chromius or myself. This dance we’re doing, the one full of lies and apologies… it’s draining. All I’ve got left is anger at myself, shame at the situation… and hatred for the man who has caused it all.
At least that can keep the guilt from letting me drown.
Honestly, I’d take a leaf out of Nora’s book here and off myself, but I’d actually succeed at it, if it meant I could avoid this feeling.
There’s a knock at the door, and Lucifer jumps up to go and answer it, knowing that it’s Draven.
Julian
One day, pretty girl, we’re going to move past this.
Maeve
Don’t count on it.
I tuck my phone away as Draven enters the room, and I give him a tentative smile. He’s currently my favourite in this room, which doesn’t say much, considering I don’t really like any of them.
But at least he’s giving me something to occupy my brain.
“Maeve, you’ve not offered us a drink or anything,” Lucifer whines. “I’m starving.”
“Why would I offer you anything?” I ask, tilting my head. My chromius flickers in amusement, feeding off my sarcasm.
“We’re your guests,” he replies as if I’m the stupid one.
I smirk. “Lucifer, you invited yourself over and haven’t left despite the fact that I’m safe and sound, tucked away in my house. Hell, you brought your pet pegasus and invited my boss over for the afternoon. Host yourself.”
He groans, dramatically throwing himself down onto the sofa, his legs dropping on top of Draven’s laptop with a thud.
“Get the fuck off me,” Draven snarls, shoving him so hard he flies off the sofa and slams most of his body onto the coffee table.
“Don’t break my shit,” I warn, a chuckle escaping my lips before I can stop it. But it’s more from exhaustion than from amusement.
“Understood, little angel,” Draven says gently before sneering down at the imp sprawled out on the floor. “Touch me again, imp, and I’ll crush your skull and throw you out the fucking window.”
Lucifer fans his face as I giggle. “Come on, Daddy D, keep talking dirty to me.”
“Ugh, please fucking don’t,” Hadrian moans. “This kinky flirting is not something I should have to witness.”
I duck my head, unable to breathe properly through my laughs. It’s ridiculous, they’re ridiculous. And their teasing is giving me something better to think about than the mess of today.
“You’re the one moaning over there in the corner,” Lucifer says, rising to his knees. “Seems a bit incestuous, really, Hades. I don’t want you involved.”
“I am not flirting,” Draven snarls. “I’d never lower my standards that much.”
“From what I’ve heard about you, Mr Celibate, you don’t really have any,” Hadrian replies, and my giggles cut off at the deep growl from Draven’s ursarix.
The sound vibrates through the room, and my chromius stirs, eager to feed off the energy, to be involved. The tension between them grows thick, pressing in on me, and I shift uncomfortably.
“Okay, that’s enough of this,” I cut in sharply. I cannot be bothered to let them escalate into a full-blown fight. “You’re all being terrible guests, and I’m ready to kick you all out.”
“I’m ordering food,” Lucifer mutters after a beat of silence where the three men exchange almost angry glares at each other. “What do you want to eat, pretty princess?”
I don’t have much of an appetite, but Draven’s looking at me expectantly, too.
“Some kind of sandwich? Chicken? Cheese?”
“Consider it ordered,” Lucifer says softly. His voice shifts, almost tender, and I hate how soothing it sounds and how my chromius reacts so positively to it. “Hades, come help me pick it up whilst these two get their work done.”
“Do I have to?” Hadrian whines, and Lucifer’s stern look has him groaning as he rises to his feet. “For the record, she really shouldn’t be left alone again.”
“What the fuck am I, you scrawny little—” Draven snarls so viciously my chromius perks up in exhilaration.
“Ah, ah, ah,” Lucifer taunts, cutting Draven off. “Let’s not pick another fight.”
“Get out,” Draven and I say as one, and the pair of them leave. The flat feels calmer, quieter, without their combined chaos. But those tummy flutters are back as I look into the intense eyes of my boss.
His gaze holds too much, it sees too much, and I hate that it affects me the way it does. He should feel dangerous, but he doesn’t. Instead, I feel safe and comforted when with him.
If I was more willing to trust the healthcare professionals, I’d get it seen to. It can’t be normal—these constant, lightweight, butterfly-kind of flutters. I’m probably dying, some side effect from my heat.
But, hey, on the plus side, maybe it’s going to kill me before I even need to worry about it.
“Do you have the fixings for a hot chocolate?” Draven asks when I shiver under his gaze. I nod slowly, my cheeks heating up.
My chromius purrs, content, as if his presence somehow balances out the chaos left behind by Lucifer and Hadrian.
“Read over this whilst I make you one, and then we can go over it properly.”
“Okay.”
Completely transfixed, I watch him leave the room before giving myself a shake. I’m ridiculous. He’s too kind, too gentle, for someone as damaged as me.
But I also kind of like how nice he is to me… which I suppose is the biggest problem of all.
A ri gets home with Alvie in the early evening, and while I’ve had an all right afternoon, I’m very eager to get rid of my houseguests. The calm I felt earlier is slowly dissolving, and the idea of having the flat clear of all testosterone feels like a lifeline.
“Okay, off you guys go now, you’re no longer wanted here,” I say with a tired smile. “Alvie’s here to do the final check-in, and you lot can go back to your flats… or hovel.” My final dig was directed towards Hadrian, who doesn’t bother to reply.
“Fine, we’re leaving,” Lucifer says, giving me a sad little pout. “Going home alone, with nobody else there to keep us company.”
“You’ve been here all day, and if you’re that lonely, go play with each other,” I say, not even caring.
“You are more than welcome?—”
“To lock up as you leave,” I say, cutting Ari off with a glare. She grins and shrugs her shoulders at Lucifer in consolation.
“You’re so mean to me,” Lucifer says sadly. His pout is exaggerated, but there’s something darker behind it.
“She’s tired and needs sleep, get out,” Draven says, giving Lucifer a dirty look. He turns back around to me, crouching next to the armchair. “Do you need anything before we go? More water? Snacks? Another hot chocolate?”
“We’re fine, but thank you, Drav,” I reply far more nicely than when I talked to Lucifer. His concern settles over me like a soft, light-weight blanket. Though I don’t deserve it, I can’t ever stop myself from lapping it up.
“I’ll see you at work tomorrow,” I say through a tight smile.
I need him gone. I need them all gone.
“Yes, you will,” he says, getting up. He doesn’t bother saying goodbye to Ari before dragging Lucifer out of the flat, ignoring the whines from the imp.
Neither Ari or I speak until the flat door closes after Alvie leaves, and I moan, hanging my head in my hands. The exhaustion crashes over me, and for a moment, I feel like I can barely keep myself upright.
“What’s wrong with you?” she asks, moving to sit down in Lucifer’s spot on the sofa.
“You’ll think I’m a bitch.”
“You’re not a bitch,” she says. “Even if you sometimes act like one.”
I snort at that, but it doesn’t relieve the weight pressing down on my chest.
“Today has been… weird and horrible, and I hated it.” I lift my head up to look at her, my eyes filling with tears, shame bubbling inside of me. I didn’t mean to get this emotional.
“Oh, Maeve.”
“But I didn’t hate it,” I whisper, hanging my head once more.
“You didn’t hate it at all,” Ari says so softly I barely hear it over the thudding of my heart.
“No.”
“What happened? Why did you all call off work?”
I sigh and fill her in on the story, biting back when she tries to lecture me about leaving security before relenting that I know I was in the wrong.
I completely overreacted, but she lectures me for saying that, too.
“What we’re going to do is watch a movie, relax, and forget all about the pricks in our lives,” she says, her voice is firm but gentle as she grounds me in a way only she can. “And then we’re going to go to bed and start tomorrow with a better attitude.”
“I don’t think I’ve got a better attitude.”
Ari grins. “Trust me, Maevey Baby, you’ve got a better attitude. Stop wallowing, my bad bitch friend, and put all this shit behind you.”
Her words pull me back from the edge, just enough to breathe a little easier, and I snuggle into my blanket.
I don’t understand what’s going on these days with the familiarity I’m allowing myself to have with the people in my life, but I do know that the quality of said life is a lot better here in the pride than it ever was in the compound.
Is it weird that I’m grateful to my stalker for improving my life this way?
Probably, but worse things have happened.