Chapter 17
L ost in thought, Lisa touched the boom box on the windowsill, outlining its edges. She fiddled with the buttons, and the cassette player popped open. Curious as to what she and Emily had been listening to, she took out the cassette. The Pretenders. In a messy stash on the windowsill was the pile of cassettes. The Stranglers, David Bowie, Roxy Music. She grabbed cassettes and threw them on the floor until she found the right one. She put the Human League cassette in the player and turned to face Stephanie.
Lisa didn’t speak right away, wondering how much of it she should share. It was an idea only, with no guarantees that it would work, but she didn’t need to add more stress to the situation by confiding her worries in Stephanie. “I have a plan.”
“I’m holding my breath waiting for this marvelous plan of yours.”
“We’re going back to the diner where we landed this morning. I’ll bring this boom box, and when we’re sitting at a table, I’m going to play the song. We’ll hold hands again.”
Stephanie chortled. “That’s it? Your plan is that we sit in a diner and hold hands?”
Lisa heard the simplicity of her words. The strategy was basic, cartoonish almost, but it’s how they got here, so perhaps it would work in reverse. Until now, the song brought her back and forth involuntarily. What if she focused on her destination? If that worked, she could direct them back to the place they’d just left where Stephanie was Adam’s mistress. That life, where she was a mother and where her mother was alive, was now more important than anything else.
With a slight prickle of her conscience, she tried to reason with Stephanie.
“Of course it will work. That’s how we got here, so that’s how we will return.” While she waited for Stephanie to agree or complain, her mind chattered away on its own. You’re taking advantage of this woman. You know you’re lying to her. And to yourself. But this Stephanie knew no other life; she didn’t even believe Lisa that there was another life, so it wouldn’t hurt her if they went back to that the world where Lisa had a family and her mother. Lisa knew the truth, but the truth was inconvenient right now. She had had a taste of motherhood, even if it was brief. She had had a taste of money and ease. And she had the chance to have her mother in her life. All those lies were worth living with an Adam who didn’t love her. It was a small price to pay. And she wasn’t hurting Stephanie at all because she was just returning her to the life she remembered. What was wrong with that? A little voice tried to answer her unspoken question, but she shut it down immediately.
Lisa grabbed Stephanie’s hand and pulled her. “Let’s go. The sooner we get to the diner, the sooner we’ll be home where we belong.”
***
The diner was busier than earlier in the day. Lisa looked at her watch. Almost five o’clock. The place was filled with old people. As if reading her thoughts, Stephanie chimed in. “Looks like the blue-plate special thing is real.”
“Booth or table?” asked the hostess in a bored voice.
“Booth please. As far to the back as possible.” Lisa wanted a little bit of quiet, so they could play the music without interruption.
In the back, near the kitchen, an elderly couple ambled slowly out of a booth. The man waited for his wife while she struggled out of her seat, then offered her a hand to get up. They walked down the aisle together, holding hands. Lisa watched them with longing. That’s what she had dreamed of: growing old with Adam. She shook her head to erase those thoughts. She had a plan, and she had to focus.
The hostess wiped down the table and said the usual. “Your waitress will be here shortly to take your order.” She laid the two menus down and walked away.
Ignoring the menus, Lisa placed the boom box on the table and turned to Stephanie, who was bouncing in her seat, looking around at the other customers and fidgeting with her fingers.
Annoyed, Lisa said, “Why are you so nervous? Stop it. I need to concentrate.”
“That’s easy for you. You believe this will work. I still have my doubts. I mean, if this is true, and I’m still not sure it is, what if you scramble my brain, and I end up like you, traveling through time when I hear music?”
“It’s not just music. It’s one specific song. Now focus.”
“What am I supposed to focus on?”
“Think of your life, where you live, your friends, your job.” Lisa hesitated but threw it out anyway. “Think of Adam.”
Stephanie cocked her head to the side like a dog listening intently. “Why are you asking me to think of your husband?”
“I just want you to think of things that are familiar, so that whatever takes us back will put us in the right place.” Lisa hoped that explanation would get Stephanie’s attention. She didn’t add that she hoped that if both of them thought of the same place, perhaps the directions would be clear. But it was merely a theory. She crossed her index and middle fingers under the table before bringing her hands back up.
“The tape is set to the right song. I’ll hit Play, then we hold hands and think of our lives, so that we can direct the energy to send us there. Got that?”
“Got it.” Stephanie muttered. “This better work.”
Lisa hit the button then quickly grabbed Stephanie’s hands in her own.
It was an old-fashioned boom box. The latest version for 1982, but Lisa had forgotten how long it took for the cassette player to start. Amid all the noise in the diner, she could hear the whirring as the tape revolved around the plastic knobs. Stephanie’s hands were shaking, and her rings banged loudly on the Formica tabletop.
“Close your eyes and focus,” hissed Lisa, trying to will the cassette player to start, so she could see if her theory was correct. She heard the seconds ticking in her head as if her brain had an internal grandfather clock. Tick, tick, tick.
The diner seemed to get louder, but she could hear the initial notes of the song. She held Stephanie’s hands like a vise.
She sensed the waitress standing next to her before she heard the words, “Did yous decide what you want?”
Darkness came on quickly, no more dots that melted slowly into her vision. The swoosh that flipped her stomach came on more violently than in times past. She tried to slow it all down, but she was under water, images of her pretend life as the mother of Suzette and Natalie floating before her eyes, distorted like in fun house mirrors. She wanted to scream.
With a thud, she landed in her seat, as if she had been flying through the air. She kept her eyes closed, afraid of throwing up but more afraid of what she’d see when she opened them.
Finally brave enough to look, she opened her eyes and saw that Stephanie was still there, with her eyes shut tight. Lisa noticed that her hands hurt from how hard Stephanie was gripping them.
The boom box was gone. They were in the coffee shop. No more diner. They looked their normal age again. Lisa looked down at her clothes. Yes! The same outfit she had been wearing when they traveled back to college. “Open your eyes, Stephanie. It worked.”
“I think I’m going to be sick.”
“It will pass. Just move slowly.”
Lisa smiled in triumph. Stephanie was the same as before: same clothes, same hair, same chapped hands from working as a nurse.
That’s when Lisa checked out her own hands. No rings.
Where were her wedding rings? She was wearing them when she met Stephanie at the diner. She was wearing the same clothes; she had the same handbag. She pulled her feet from under the table. Yes, the shoes were the same. Maybe gold and diamonds didn’t travel through time?
She opened her purse and took out her cell phone. Stephanie was mumbling about a headache when the waitress returned to their table. “Would you ladies like more coffee?”
Lisa stared at the phone. She scrolled through the contacts. Adam’s name wasn’t in it. There must be a glitch with the phone.
The waitress had struck up a conversation with Stephanie. Lisa interrupted. “Could we have the check please? We’re in a big hurry.”
“Lisa, I don’t think I can move fast. I’m not feeling well still.”
“Walking will make you feel better. We have to go.”
When the waitress came back with the check, Lisa slapped a twenty-dollar bill on the table and rushed Stephanie out the door.
“Why are you running? What’s the giant hurry?”
“Stephanie, I need to get home. I have to see my kids.”
“OK, I get that. But stop. Please. I have to get my bearings.” Stephanie stared at the park across the street. “Hey, this isn’t the diner where we met before. We weren’t in front of a park.”
Lisa had been in such a rush to get home that she hadn’t noticed that they were in a different diner. This was a busy street, but it wasn’t where they met before. Her head was pounding now, and the urgency of getting home grew stronger. They were on a street that appeared to be a block away from her house. She clearly remembered driving to meet Stephanie at the diner across from the hospital, but now everything was off.
“We have to hurry. If this didn’t work, we have to do something else. Come with me. I need to see my kids and my mother. They’ll be worried about me.”
Lisa pulled Stephanie by the hand, practically dragging her behind her. With each step, her dread grew. Her pace quickened to a run. She didn’t notice the storefronts where before there had been a neat row of houses.
When she rounded the corner, she was sure that she’d see her house. But what faced her was a huge apartment building with a For Lease sign on the front. She stopped abruptly, making Stephanie bump into her. The once quiet residential area was filled with people walking about, cars honking, tall buildings casting shadows on the street. The grocery store on the corner with displays in the window pretended to be something more than a bodega.
Lisa stepped carefully off the curb to cross the street to the address that was her house. 5905 Hudson Avenue. But that wasn’t her house.
“Are you sure you have the right address? I thought you lived in a fancy house?” Stephanie’s voice sounded jealously gleeful to Lisa’s ears.
They walked together up the steps to the front door of the building. A rectangular metal plate was screwed into the side wall with little slots for the names of the residents and a buzzer for each apartment. Lisa was afraid to look. She was hoping she just had the wrong address. She peered closely, praying not to find it. But there it was. Lisa Coronado.
“This is all wrong, all wrong.” Lisa leaned her back against the wall and covered her face with her hands.
Stephanie checked the list also. “Who is Lisa Coronado?”
Lisa sobbed. “Me. Single.” The enormity of what had happened started to sink in. She didn’t know where she was, and now she was responsible for someone else. She was afraid to think that her daughters were out there somewhere wondering where she was.
Stephanie put her hand on Lisa’s shoulder. “Look, I get your distress. But get a grip. Do you have any idea where we are? I don’t know this area. I need to get my car. I need to get home too.”