Chapter 21
S tephanie crouched down to the floor to be closer to Lisa. “Hey, what’s going on? Do you feel faint?”
Lisa sobbed harder, if that was even possible, at the sound of Stephanie’s voice. She allowed Stephanie to grab her by the arm and pull her up to sit on the bed. She felt she’d never stop crying, hoping somehow that her tears would erase the horror of what she’d discovered. How could Emily be erased from this world? Traveling back and forth in time must have altered something, but how? What had she done? How would she undo this tragedy if she didn’t even know the source?
An icy fear gripped her chest. She looked up at Stephanie’s concerned, worried face. Her throat tightened at the thought she had manipulated time to create something unreal. Yet here she was, alone in this life without her best friend.
“I have to go back. I have to fix this.” Lisa said these sentences almost incoherently.
Stephanie rubbed her back, making gentle circles as one does with a colicky baby. The motions were a soothing balm for a brief moment. “Is there anything you need? What do you have to fix? The doctor said you need surgery; don’t worry. You’ll be in great hands. He’s a really good surgeon. Please try to calm down, or I’ll have to give you a sedative.”
The word sedative brought Lisa back from the abyss. She contorted her face, shook her head, and pushed her hands against Stephanie’s chest. “No! No sedation. I have to think clearly. I have to go back and find her.” She bounced off the bed and headed to the tiny hospital room closet to find her street clothes. She stripped the faded blue polka dot hospital gown from her body and furiously dressed herself. “I have to be ready for when it plays, then I can go.” Then she grabbed her cell phone from the nightstand and scrolled through until she landed on the music folder. She pressed the song, thanking her past self for having had enough sense to download it.
Stephanie asked, “What do you need? Are you calling your husband?”
Lisa retorted, “No! I’m not calling my husband. This isn’t about him. I’m playing the song. God, I hope this works.” Lisa stood in the middle of the room with her eyes closed and bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet like a sprinter preparing to hear the gunshot for the start of the race as she listened to the tinny sound of music from her phone.
Stephanie placed herself in front of Lisa and put her hands on Lisa’s shoulders. “Lisa, what are you doing? I’m going to have to call someone for assistance if you don’t calm down. You’re scheduled for surgery tomorrow morning.”
“There will be no surgery. Not until I bring her back.”
Stephanie picked up the discarded gown and threw it gently on the bed. Even in her frenzy, Lisa noticed how she moved slowly. “Until you bring who back, Lisa?”
Lisa ignored the question. “ You were workin’ as a waitress in a cocktail bar, when I met you. ” She knew the familiar lyrics and concentrated on the first few lines. She spoke to Stephanie in a calm voice like one does when reasoning with a child. “You’re going to see something strange, but please, don’t tell anyone. I have to go.” She felt the familiar sensation of darkness. She relaxed into it as the swirling starting. She felt, more than heard, Stephanie come close to her and grab her arm. “Lisa, please, what are you doing?”
Stephanie’s hand was on her arm, and Lisa tried to swat it away, but as the darkness came upon her, the other woman’s hand gripped her arm as if in a vise.
“Don’t you want me, baby? Don’t you wan t me ohh?”
There was a whirlwind of sound and lights…and then nothing.
***
Lisa felt pain in her arm and noticed fingers digging into her skin. As if in a dream, she pried Stephanie’s hand away and focused her attention on where they stood. The smell of hot dogs and pretzels mixed with rotting garbage from an overflowing trash can on the corner sharpened her senses. Sound returned:cars honking, people talking loudly, a crowd of young adults with bags and books passed by them. Stephanie looked stunned, her eyes wide as she turned around, looking at everything at once. “Where are we?” she whispered.
Lisa spun around, taking in the surroundings. This wasn’t the hospital. And Stephanie was with her. She knew exactly where they were. “We’re on the Columbia University campus.” She grabbed Stephanie’s hand, pulled her towards the newspaper stand on the corner, and pointed to the New York Times in the pile. With glee, she announced, “It’s 1982, Stephanie. It worked.”
“What are you blathering about?” Stephanie snatched the newspaper as the vendor yelled. “Pay for that! This isn’t the library.” Lisa put her hand into the pocket of her jeans, acutely aware that these were not the clothes she was wearing in the hospital. She found a few coins and paid for the paper as the vendor muttered, “Damn college students.”
She showed Stephanie the first page, pointing again to the date. “See? April 19, 1982. We’re back to the beginning.” The news of the day showed the prime minister Margaret Thatcher dealing with the British predicament over the Falklands in Argentina, and the Middle East was still in crisis over the Sinai Peninsula. Closer to home, President Reagan was dealing with issues over a tax surcharge. Further inside the paper were advertisements for Lord & Taylor Santa Fe dresses, cinched at the waist and flowing out like flowers. And the movie Raiders of the Lost Ark had won five Academy Awards.
Stephanie mumbled, “ Raiders of the Lost Ark ? I saw that movie in the theater.”
Lisa patted Stephanie on the arm. “Of course you did. In 1982 we had nothing else.” She continued softly, “You came with me because you were holding my arm as the song played. I came here to find Emily.”
Stephanie shook her head, eyes wide and mouth agape. “Wait. I remember this. We were here before, weren’t we? Back in 1982. You did this to me before. That’s why we’re back here, on Broadway, wearing these ridiculous leg warmers. Oh my God, I’m going insane.” She strode away from Lisa, aiming towards the crosswalk, muttering, “I have to go home.” Lisa followed her and saw her glance at her wrist. “Where’s my watch? What time is it? I have to pick up my kids from school.” She paced back and forth, her head spinning around, lips trembling.
Lisa grabbed Stephanie’s shoulder and yanked her to a stop. “Stephanie, remember there are no kids in this time. They aren’t born yet.” Shaking the newspaper at her face, Lisa continued in a gentle voice, trying to soothe the other woman’s panic. “Focus, Stephanie. We’re here again. See?” She pointed again to the newspaper’s date. “It’s 1982. We’ve traveled back in time. You’re not married yet. You’re still in college, just like me.”
Stephanie moved her body in a circle, taking in the surroundings. She stopped, faced Lisa, and gently touched this now-twenty-year-old’s hair. “You look so young. Your hair is long and dark.” She put her hands out in front of her and turned them palm up and down, brought them close to her face. “My hands, they’re so soft, like they were before I became a nurse.” She kept staring at her hands. “No wedding rings. And the scar on my left hand, from the accident with a scalpel, it’s gone.” Mouth agape, she spoke. “How is this possible?” Before Lisa could speak, Stephanie waved her hands in the air. “I have this uncanny feeling I’ve been here before, like a weird déjà vu. I can’t pinpoint it….” She stumbled with her words, her head turning around again. “I recognize this place from the past. This looks like my college street.”
She straightened her back and punched Lisa in the arm, her voice strident again. “I don’t care what you’re up to. I want to go home. Now!” Stephanie pushed Lisa with both hands.
Lisa caught herself before falling backwards, the newspaper flying out of her hand.In a soothing voice, she continued. “Stephanie, I know this is a jolt, and it’s…well, I guess it’s uncanny, but believe me, it’s all true. We’ve traveled back in time.”
Her head cocked to one side like a golden retriever, Stephanie stared at Lisa. “You’re crazy, you know that. You’re one crazy bitch, and I want you to change whatever you did, so I can go home. In real life, my shift is about to end, and I have to go to my kids’ school and pick them up. So whatever shit you pulled, stop it, and get me home. Immediately.” She stared at Lisa, defiance in her eyes, until fat tears started rolling down Stephanie’s cheeks. She covered her face with her hands. Seeing the woman’s despair, Lisa pulled her into a hug and rubbed her back. Stephanie slumped into Lisa’s arms, sobbing.
“It’s going to be OK, Stephanie. Don’t worry. Your girls are fine. Nothing’s happened to them. We’ll get back home later, and you’ll see them again.” As Lisa said this, she hoped she was right. Every time she traveled, something changed, and in trying to fix this recent mix-up, what if she made things worse? But what could be worse than losing her best friend? Lisa sighed, the thought of being stuck here scaring her as well. Then she saw Emily’s face in her mind’s eye and remembered her mission. She had to figure out what to undo so her best friend would return.
While Lisa was lost in thought, Stephanie pulled back from her, her crying more controlled. She straightened up and stared at Lisa. “Fine. We’re here. Now what?”
Lisa smiled, putting her arm over Stephanie’s shoulder, and held her close. “I promise it’s all going to be fine. We have work to do, and I don’t know how much time we have. But we’re here to find my best friend, Emily. Let’s go get a coffee, and I can explain along the way.”
***
The two women walked towards the Hungarian Pastry Shop. Lisa wondered what she would find, hoping against all hope that retracing her steps would show her a hint of what had gone wrong with the last trips to the past. She didn’t know whether this would help, but she had to start somewhere, and the coffee shop was the last place where she had seen Adam in this time. She intuited Adam had something to do with what had gone wrong. Rather than feeling jittery or excited about seeing him, she felt determination with every step.
As they walked, Lisa summarized her trips to Stephanie. Every few feet, they stopped. “Stephanie, are you getting what I’m saying?”
“Yes, Lisa. I get that you’re telling me you’ve been traveling to the past, and that you find me there. And somehow, I’m remembering things I’ve never seen. I get the gist of what you’re saying, but it makes no sense. It’s totally illogical and impossible.”
Lisa laughed. “Well, no one said time travel was logical. But here we are.” As she said this, they found themselves in front of the pastry shop. The awning was bright and clean, appearing new.
Stephanie gasped at the entrance of the pastry shop. “I used to work here. I had a part-time job while I was in nursing school.”
“Precisely, woman. That’s why we’ve come back to this spot—to start from the beginning, so I can fix whatever I screwed up.”
“How do you know you screwed up anything?”
“You remember Marcus telling me that my best friend was some girl named…God, I don’t even know her name…because she never existed in my life before. My real best friend was Emily. Is Emily. And something I did, or probably something Adam did, has erased her from my life.” Lisa opened the door to the shop. “And we’re here to sort this out.”
Walking into the pastry shop was stepping into the past. Lisa watched Stephanie gaze at everything: the pictures on the walls, askew and dusty, were photos of Leona Helmsley, the Queen of Mean as they called her back then, and old photos of Dean Martin and George Burns. There was a photo of Madonna: young, fresh, and clad in black lace and a pink bow on her head. The small tables lined up close to one another, and the glass case with pastries was the same. Students crowded every table, book bags thrown about, notebooks and textbooks open while ceramic cups lay next to them. Thinking out loud, Lisa said, “It must be finals week. We don’t have a lot of time. Students will go home soon, so we’ll work fast to find Emily.”
Stephanie pulled Lisa’s arm. “Wait, if we’re back here, that means that I might run into myself, or into someone I know.”
Lisa stopped for a moment and stared at Stephanie. “I hadn’t considered that. Think quick: what shift did you work?”
Stephanie bit her lip. “I tended to work the evening shift after I was done with classes.”
Lisa looked at her wrist and remembered she never wore a watch in college. The clock on the wall caught her eye. One o’clock. “We should be fine. It’s still early.”
At her words, the manager, a crusty, balding guy with a paunch and a chocolate and grease spattered apron that was once white yelled out. “Stephanie! Glad you’re here. We’re swamped. Care to work a few extra hours?”
Caught off guard, Stephanie shook her head. “No, no. I’m not here to work. I’m just…. I’m just here to get a cup of coffee.”
He dismissed her with a wave of the hand and an audible mumble under his breath, “Useless kids,” as he walked towards the cash register.
Stephanie leaned into Lisa’s ear and whispered, “At least I won’t run into myself.” Lisa patted her arm. “Let’s not even think about those consequences, shall we?”
They resumed the chore of finding a place to sit when Lisa saw a young girl emerge from the back room, headed towards the manager with a receipt and a few dollar bills in her hand. Lisa couldn’t help herself as she shouted, “Emily!”
Emily looked up, appearing startled, her voice raised louder than what Lisa knew from before. “What are you doing here? I told you to leave me alone.” She approached Lisa and with gritted teeth and a thin smile said, “Listen, I’m working. I don’t want any trouble.”
Lisa touched her shoulder. She sighed. “I don’t want trouble either. I just want to make things right for us.” She winced as Emily pushed away her hand. “You made your choice, Lisa. Not me. I wanted to stay friends, but you refused.” With that, Emily resumed her trip to the cash register.
Lisa leaned her hands on the glass case. “Emily, I’m sorry. I don’t remember what I did, but whatever it was, I’m sorry. I can’t live without you. You’re my best friend.”
Emily shook her head. “Well, you certainly didn’t show that when you refused to accept that Adam is my boyfriend as you threw me out of our dorm room.” Lisa opened her eyes wide.
“Oh,” added Emily. “You forgot that, did you? Did you also forget you opened the window to our room and threw out my clothes onto the street? You don’t remember that?” Emily banged her fingers on the cash register.
Stephanie moved closer to Lisa. “Maybe we should leave? She clearly doesn’t want to talk to you.”
Emily waved her hand towards Stephanie. “And this one. You bring this one here with you. What? The two of you are friends now?”
“I don’t even know you,” said Stephanie, stepping back away from the case. People in the restaurant shifted in their seats, their murmurs undulating like waves. “Lisa, we should go. You’re making a scene, and everyone is staring at us.”
“Let them stare. This is what I came here for.” Lisa turned back to Emily. “Emily, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do any of that.”
“Could have fooled me. My clothes dropping on the street didn’t seem like an accident.”
The manager piped in. “What the hell is going on?” He moved towards Lisa and Stephanie and waved them towards the door. “Look, girls, whatever boy problems are going on here, take them outside. Stephanie, I’ll see you later tonight or tomorrow or whenever the hell you’re really supposed to be here. And you,” pointing at Emily, “get to work. I don’t pay you to have girl fights in my shop.”
Lisa and Stephanie walked outside and stood by the door. Stephanie broke their silence. “Now what?”
Lisa sighed. “I don’t know, but we wait here until her shift is over.”
“I don’t have time to wait for shifts, Lisa. I have to get back to my kids. You got me here. Now get me back.”
As Stephanie was speaking, Emily opened the door and walked towards Lisa. She held her head high and shoved a piece of paper into Lisa’s hand. “Listen, I get that you’re sorry. But I can’t talk here. Meet me later tonight. We can talk then.” With that, she walked back inside.
Stephanie ran over to Lisa. “What did she say?”
The paper hung in Lisa’s shaking hand. She headed towards the crosswalk with Stephanie at her heels. They reached the benches in the cathedral’s garden, and Lisa sat down, paper still in hand.
“What does it say, Lisa?”
With quivering lips, Lisa read slowly. “Come to the party at Fuller Hall tonight. Ten p.m. You’ll see what chick Adam’s been with since he dumped both of us.”