36. Good August
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
GOOD AUGUST
HERE I GO AGAIN
It appears I’ve turned into a sex fiend.
Or maybe I was always a sex fiend, and it just took the right guy to bring it out of me.
The wrong guy?
Either way, it’s August, and I want him to do everything to me.
When we get to London, he’s like a new man.
Something of the person I saw in the library after he came for me.
He’s so switched on, seems to know what to do at every turn.
Parallels of that first night with August come to me.
The sense of danger and excitement I felt being around him, wrapped up in the feeling I was also safe with him.
But now I feel safer than ever. He’s always checking on me, not that he needs to.
His eyes follow me when there’s the smallest distance between us, and I love the combination blush and acknowledgement in his gaze when I catch him.
This is what it is to be wanted. To be adored.
It’s big things, like leaping a universe to be with me, but it’s small things, like the sweet tenderness that undercuts everything he does.
He gets us all across town to St. John’s Wood, and I’m wholly occupied picking out the differences between this new world and mine.
The cars draw my attention. They’re similar, but of more bulbous design.
They’re all white, every single one of them, like this world never thought of another paint colour.
But when I look closer, I realise they’re all made by the same manufacturer, every single car.
I’m so busy staring I walk smack-bang into the arm he holds up to quiet us. Then I realise where we are. “Wait, is this… Is this our cafe?”
He grins across at me. ‘Our cafe.’ I wouldn’t even have noticed I’d said it if not for that look.
“Wait here. Stay out of sight.” He starts off across the street, then runs back. “Shit, hang on.” He pulls off his sweater, rolls his shirt sleeves a little, then swishes his hair across to the side. “Do I look okay?”
Yes, he looks fucking okay. Those wrists should be outlawed. The way his belt cinches his shirt to his torso is begging me to rip it off. Why has he just done that with his hair today? I’d lick him clean if he’d let me.
“August?”
“Yep? Mmm. Mmm, yeah. Hmm. Fine.”
His brow dips. “You sure?”
“Ngghmm.” That’s a full sentence. I think. Of sorts.
He gives me an unsure half-nod thing, which is fair, then runs off across the street where he stands around in front of the cafe door looking… really cold, actually.
It’s winter in this world, like my own, and it’s honestly freezing in the too-early morning air. His hands are shoved deep in his pockets, and he starts a bit of a wander back and forth in front of the doorway.
I’m about to take his sweater over to him because I can’t imagine what he’s playing at, but then I hear footsteps echoing off the buildings. The whole group skulks back into the shadows of the side street where he left us, only me poking my head out, desperate to see what’s going on.
It’s Kelly, the owner of the cafe in my world.
Her hair is orange here. For now, at least. She walks directly to the door, where he cracks a smile and says something.
They exchange a few words, him looking at his watch, like maybe he’s asking her when she opens.
He rubs his arms. She looks him over and brushes some hair behind her ear.
He leans against the doorway and… Is he flirting with her?
He’s got her laughing, just like that, and barely five seconds later, she pushes the door open, goes in, then holds it for him.
This is incredible. I don’t know whether to be pissed or impressed, even if I still can’t figure out what he’s doing. I love a hot coffee, especially on a morning like today’s, but I can think of about a billion other things we should be doing instead.
Shashi’s walking a line up and down the alley, Amber leaning on the wall, staring off into space. Jon and August each have a shoulder dipped against the bricks, talking to each other about god knows what. I don’t care. I only want August, and every time I chance a peek, he’s still bloody in there.
It’s not long before I join Shashi, more or less, walking off the tension in tandem with her. Then finally, a shuffle of shoes at the top of the street, and August! He holds up some keys with a jingle. “Got it.”
“Got what?” I ask as he shoves his large coffee towards me.
“Stole her spare keys. We’ll break in tonight and steal all her money.”
The entire group falls gaspingly silent, not least of all me. “What do you mean, steal her money?”
“Don’t worry, she only keeps a relatively small amount at work, and insurance covers it every time. I’ve made great friends with her in dozens of worlds.”
“But… you can’t—”
“Slayer, we’ve got to survive. And look! She gave me the coffee on the house. To keep warm. Because I ‘forgot’ my wallet. She also lent me fifty, um… whatever type of money this is.”
“Did you…” Impressed or pissed? I have no idea. “Did you do that the morning we met?”
“I did it the first day I arrived in your world, like I always do. Then I go back, pay for the free coffee she gave me, introduce myself properly and check she’s okay. She always is. Now, come with me. We’re going to steal some breakfast.”
What choice do we have?
He has it all mapped out. One shopkeeper’s head turned here, another out the back of their shop at the right moment. He moves through town swiping what he wants, and no wonder he has such nice clothes, all professionally pressed. They’re brand new out of every shop.
When it comes to food, it’s the same. A blitz through a market, exactly like a man who’s done this hundreds of times over. He grabs several of the same things and passes them back to be hidden by the rest of us.
I feel awful while we’re doing it, but once we’re all out, sitting in the park to eat our breakfast, it’s kind of…
fun. It fascinates me that he’s been living like this in all these worlds.
He fascinates me, and I have a gut feeling he always will.
Still, I can’t help but ask him, “Do you ever feel bad about this? Taking all these things?”
He lets out a long sigh, staring off over the waking city.
“These people, in my mind, were always going to be dead in a few weeks. Except for Kelly, I try to steal from places belonging to big companies. Their overheads cover it. I know that doesn’t make it right, but when you’re weighing up the cost of possibly saving hundreds of universes… ”
“You had to stay alive.”
“I’d like to tell you I found a smarter way. But the thing is, currency changes in every world. It might be as simple as the colour of the note, but it changes. And some worlds, they’re totally electronic. I had to steal food the whole time I was in those places.”
“So…” My mind reels at both his organisation and capability. “Then London’s always pretty much London?”
“Fuck no.” He laughs, but his eyes skitter away, like I’ve just thrown a spider at him
“Fuck no,” Assassin August concurs, shaking his head.
“No, there was… water world was bad.”
“Water world?” I ask.
“So much water,” he says distantly. “I almost didn’t survive that.”
“And that one with the weird purple aliens?” suggests Assassin August.
“They were brutal,” August mutters. “But I think Carboniferous world was the worst.”
“Carbon what now?” Jon pipes up.
“Carboniferous,” August replies. “Think big insects.” Then, with a touch of horror about him, “Really big insects…”
“You must be exhausted.” I regret it the instant the words are out.
His head drops. For all the energy he’s putting into this, he’s still so close to the edge.
I throw my arm around him and pull his head down to my shoulder, where he leans against me.
That feels good. I want to carry his weight for a while. Even if it’s just five minutes.
“August,” Shashi says softly, a reminder I shouldn’t be touching him.
“No.” And I pull him even closer. He makes a slight attempt to squirm out of my grasp, so I clamp down on him until he has no choice and gives in entirely. And she doesn’t say another word.
I dream of days like this. Sunny mornings and grassy hills, just the two of us, free to hold on to each other and be in love.
That word ‘impossible’ throbs somewhere in the back of my brain. So I run my fingers through his hair and keep him tight to my chest for as long as I can.
It’s not long enough.
Once we’re done eating, it’s on to an internet cafe, which, thank goodness they exist here. We hire only one screen in an attempt to stretch the little money we have. My August’s at the keyboard with the other August and Shashi, the two of them barking commands at him with increasing fervour.
Something’s not right, and I’m bracing myself.
There’s about ten frantic minutes of this before August breathes out a frustrated, “You can see it yourself. This world doesn’t have one. They are so far behind on this shit.”
“Let me have it.” Shashi rips the keyboard away from him, typing whatever she’s typing, so August relinquishes the chair too, and wanders over to me with that aversion of his eyes that I never want to see again.
But he’s fast with the truth. “This world has no particle accelerator. Of any kind. That we can find.”
“Are you sure?” Such a stupid question. Of course he’s sure.
He spares me a nod, eyes flittering up to mine. “I’m sorry.”
“No, I… I opened this universe. I came through.”
“You didn’t expect me to follow you.”
“But I hoped you would.” I capture a slight smile.
I can’t handle thinking about what comes next. I’m not in any sort of mood for a rundown on how fucked we are, how fucked the world is, how all of existence will be wiped out because of… one small mistake. Mine this time. So easily done.