36. Good August #2
It’s another hour or so spent at the cafe. We waste more money during our time there at Assassin August’s insistence, and even on coffee, which was my August’s idea. He’s taking care of the group as best he can, trying to manage our fraying nerves.
Amber spends most of her time worrying how upset Shashi is at her, but honestly, I think Shashi’s brain is entirely in problem-solving mode.
She’s a machine when she’s locked on, and she’s already got a page full of old-school maths down so we can figure out what direction our supermassive black hole is in down to the minute.
Assassin August is quiet, so when we get on the Tube, I take a seat next to him, much to Jon’s annoyance. “This must be pretty hard for you.”
He smiles at that. “Not in the way you might think. I came across to your world with one task in mind, which was to stop your boyfriend. I hadn’t thought a day beyond that, to be honest. I was going to destroy that accelerator and then destroy myself.”
I hate the way he says ‘destroy,’ like he’s just another object due for the rubbish heap.
“Now, I honestly don’t know what to do. It’s not my life I’m worried about. I’m at a loose end, where I can’t help anyone. Where my very existence is causing harm. And I don’t know that my being here is worth the risk.”
“It is.” My response is reactionary. Knee-jerk to someone saying something like that. But I believe it too. “You have a brilliant mind. And I know you and August are slightly at loggerheads about this, but I think you’re a good person. I think you did something really brave by following him.”
His face softens, which is both rare and good. “So did you. It took a lot to take yourself out of the equation like that. It was brave, but it was also really clever.” He looks across at my August, patiently listening to Jon prattle on about something or other. “Guess it runs in the blood.”
“No, I’m not like you two. I wish I were.”
“No, you don’t,” he says sadly.
“That’s so funny. That’s exactly what August said to me.”
We get off the train and follow August in our cloud of quiet dejection. Back at Imperial College, he leads us down to his basement lair, which we’re all pleasantly surprised to discover is pretty much exactly the same as it was in my world.
While we move some old boxes out into the antechamber, he explains how this is his fallback wherever he goes.
How, in three hundred or more universes, this has so often been here.
When it hasn’t been, he’s tried to find a room in the university’s halls of residence.
And when that’s failed, he’s resorted to sleeping in the admin office, clearing out before the staff arrived every day.
“Anyone who needs the bathroom or a shower, use the halls of residence, preferably at night. We’ll break into the cafe this evening, get some cash. Food will be simple, and not particularly nourishing. It’s going to be a long few weeks.”
“Weeks?” asks Amber, brightening a little.
“Yeah. I mean, unless something drastic has changed, it should take a while for the last world to force open a new rift. Maybe two weeks at best, given how many of us are crowding into this reality.”
“Well, that’s…” She smiles over at Shashi. “That’s not so bad. We’re just on a trip for a few weeks.”
Shashi grabs her hand and kisses it. “It’s something. No reason to think the next world won’t have a particle accelerator.”
“It might,” August says, expanding with, “I’ve always hoped I’d come across a drastically advanced civilisation, like August’s, where I could tell some authority what happened and they’d fix the lot.”
“I’m not sure even we could do that,” Assassin August replies. “But we definitely could have worked with you to figure something out.”
“Everything’s possible.” There’s a wistful tone in August’s voice. “It’s all just time. Having enough of it to do all the things, to make it happen. Being able to put in a concerted effort.”
“Like building abs,” I joke.
“I’m still not convinced I’ll ever get them,” he sighs.
“I did see your abs,” Assassin August says to me. “They’re really nice.”
“August’s abs are so hot,” Jon agrees, getting a scowl from my August, a laugh from the other August, and an eye roll from me. He asks the new August, “Not thinking of joining them, are you?”
“Joining them?” The good-natured smile remains. “What do you mean?”
“I mean…” Jon nods pointedly at me. “The three of you. I would.”
“No!” he vomits out, looking maybe more horrified than is wholly necessary. “God, no. They’re so fucking weird.”
“No offence taken,” mutters my August.
“No, it’s not just that you’re, you know, the exact same person. It’s… Where I come from, people don’t couple off like this. It’s a very strange concept to me.”
“What do you mean?” Amber asks. “Don’t you fall in love like everyone else?”
“Yeah, we do. But unlike you, and a lot of other worlds by the looks of it, we don’t branch off into monogamous family groups. We just… Relationships of any sort are purely about pleasure.”
“You don’t date?” asks Shashi. He stares a while, questioning, so she explains, “You don’t spend most of your time with one special person, and want to move into a house with them, spend your life with them?”
“Not at all. I mean, if you really like someone, and they like you, of course you want to spend time together. But there are no strings, not much jealousy. You just sleep with whomever you like purely for the fun of it.”
“You know,” says Jon, leaning forward far too eagerly, “that’s not totally uncommon here. I’d say it’s more advanced, you know, as a species, to live that way.”
“Unless you don’t want that,” says my August sharply.
“Yeah, of course,” Jon says. “But if you can accept that it’s just sex—” Before my August can interrupt again, he changes course, throwing a hand up in front of himself.
“You two are… a thing. We all get that. And that’s nice.
For you. But for me…” I could swear his eyelashes flutter.
“I like this August’s way of doing things. ”
New August smiles, slow but a little sly. It’s not as though any of us haven’t noticed Jon coming onto him, and it’s not as though I’m not a little perplexed at how specific Jon’s ‘type’ of man is. But this is still confounding somehow.
Shashi sounds like she’s only half joking when she asks, “Is there any way we could get another room? Or perhaps Amber and I will move out by the elevator.”
“That’s a great idea,” says Jon. “I’ll stay in here with the Augusts.”
My own August’s head flops back against the wall. “What I’d give for more space. But no. We’re all stuck here in this little room unless you can find a whole lot more money and fast. You can’t get caught sleeping out there, or we’ll all get kicked out.”
Shashi makes a crying sort of sound, dropping down to lie her head in Amber’s lap. “If only there were some way to speed up the time. I can’t believe you can tear a rift in the side of a universe, then all we can do is sit here and wait. For weeks!”
“Well, there is one way…” August’s eyes are sparkling, full of humour when he catches mine. Then he looks away again, cheeks pleasingly flushed.
“What?” I ask him, my own smile irrepressible, even if I’m not sure what he’s on about.
“No, I was just thinking…” He shakes his head, which he dips as he turns a little pinker. “Nothing. It’s nothing.”
Amber watches him a moment, then shocks Shashi off her lap when she makes an excited bounce. “You’re thinking about sex!”
“What? No, I wasn’t. I wasn’t!”
“You were! You’re thinking about your sex last night, or whenever it was now, that just about destroyed the last world. That’s what you’re thinking, isn’t it?”
“No!” he protests, way too loudly.
Jon cackles, but Shashi shoves her way back up to sitting and says, “Amber, that’s actually a brilliant idea.”
“You can’t be serious,” I argue, but she’s not even smiling. Well, maybe her eyes are. A bit.
“What’s the problem?” she prompts. “You two can barely keep your hands off each other as it is. And frankly, I’m tired of having to watch over you.”
“We’re not that bad!” I gasp out.
“Oh, you totally are,” says Assassin August, his shoulders shaking with laughter. “It’s appalling.”
“You need to do this,” Jon declares, grinning from ear to ear. “Save us from weeks in this boring cell.”
“Hey, yeah!” says Amber. “And then, if the next world’s no good, you can just move us on to the one after that. Crack open a new rift.”
“Like you’ve got your own private particle accelerator,” Shashi cackles out.
They’re all having a great time at our expense.
Meanwhile, I’m dying on the inside. Somewhat.
I mean, it’s honestly a pretty great idea.
And just the thought of another night with August like the last one we had has me constantly on edge.
Him being across this small space from me is killing me slowly.
And damn, that sex was so great. I want more. I need more.
I shouldn’t be thinking this.
Maybe August doesn’t want to have sex to destroy the world? He’s done a lot of world destroying, and there’s all sorts of trauma there that we probably don’t want associated with our sex life.
If we ever get to have one again.
He’s not saying anything, but the corner of his lips is slightly curved, and his eyes are on me, half shy, like it’s my decision.
This is entirely too ridiculous to be true.
Who comes up with shit like this?
But Shashi’s already climbing to her feet, pulling Amber’s hands. “I think I’ll go out for a while. Have a walk around the college. But if the world starts falling apart, we’ll come right back here, okay?”
“No.” My eyes follow her, but she doesn’t even glance at me. “No, you’re joking, right?”
She only clicks her fingers for Jon to follow her, and says, “You’ve gotta do it, for science!”
“For science!” Amber shouts, clapping her hands.
“But…” Jon makes a move like he might stand up, then settles back down against the wall. “I’m not a super genius like all of you, or even a supervillain.” He waits for August’s scowl before continuing with a grin, “But wouldn’t three Augusts make it happen faster?”
“Hey, yeah!” Amber cries.
“No!” Every August in the room snaps.
“I could stay to help,” Jon suggests, while Shashi slaps a hand over her face. “If you like?”
“I don’t like,” I tell him as sternly as possible.
“August, want to come for a drink?” Shashi asks a pale and aghast Assassin August.
“Yes. Please. Desperately.” He’s up, Jon’s running after him, and the last thing we hear is the enormous burst of laughter before they all slam the door, leaving me and August alone in this tiny room, staring at one another.
Two men, one desk, and several hundred universes to save.
I guess you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do.
For science.