Chapter 29
Landon
Iwoke up sometime in the night, and I’ve been awake for hours. It’s still dark, but I haven’t been able to fall back asleep.
There are worse positions to be in, surely, but my mind won’t calm, and my stomach has been churning to the point I’ve worried about throwing up.
After getting home from Parker’s parents’ house last night, I called my mom.
She was happy to hear from me and even happier to know that I’d be coming to visit today with a couple of friends.
Guilt is still weighing heavy on my heart.
I never, ever want to call Ben and Parker my friends again. They are my friends, of course. Two of the best friends I could have ever asked for. But that’s not all they are. They both assured me it was fine, and when we went to bed, they stuck me in the middle.
I didn’t protest, and I’m certainly not protesting now. Not with Parker curled around me like even in their sleep, they think their weight can anchor me. Not with my head resting on Ben’s bicep, his other arm wrapped protectively around my stomach.
I’ve been watching him. To make the time go by faster.
Or maybe not that. Maybe I’ve just been watching him because every small expression he makes in his sleep makes me fall deeper in love with him.
The same way that every twitch of Parker’s body, every jerk of their leg, every time they snuggle closer does.
Ben smiles in his sleep a lot. Not a full smile.
Just a little tilt of his lips every so often, but I know it’s a smile because his eyes also crinkle at the edges, the same way they do when he’s awake.
Occasionally, I catch the rapid movement of his eyes beneath his lids.
Sometimes they flutter, lashes fanning across his cheeks like he’s about to wake up.
He hasn’t. I’m glad. It’s rare that I get to just… look at him like this. Rare that I get to soak in the touch of the two people I’m in love with. Even in sleep, Parker clings to me, betraying the front they present, and Ben’s such a force. Protective and calm.
Ben’s arm tightens around my stomach, then his eyes slowly open. The second he makes eye contact with me, a sleepy smile spreads across his face. “Mornin’, baby.”
My heart skips. “I’m baby today?”
“Mmm. Do you not like baby?”
I shrug, trying to be nonchalant. “Yeah, but you’ve never used it with me.”
Scooting closer, Ben lets his hand trail lazily up my side and over my chest before brushing his knuckles along my jaw and touching my bottom lip with his thumb.
“An absolute shame when you think about it, huh?” he says, sleepy hazel eyes roaming my face.
“Would you like it if I called you baby more?”
“I wouldn’t not like it.”
Leaning in, Ben brushes his lips over mine, using his thumb to pull my jaw down so I open for him. He kisses me slowly. Leisurely. Like we have all the time in the world. Like my world might not be falling apart today. Like he’ll stand in the wreckage, holding my hand even if it does.
When he breaks away, he presses his forehead to mine. “You have to tell me what you want, baby, otherwise I won’t know.”
I nod, swallowing so hard my throat clicks. “Okay. I’ll try to do better about that.”
“Thank you,” he murmurs, before slotting his lips over mine again.
It’s easy to lose myself in kissing him. Easy to forget about what the day will bring. Easy to forget about my fears. Everything with him—and with Parker—is just so fucking easy.
I’m starting to wonder if there’s a catch.
Ben tangles his fingers in my hair, pressing closer and closer and closer until his body is flush against mine. His warmth seeps into my skin, all the way to my bones.
“Let’s go shower,” he says when he finally pulls back. “We need to get your mind off things, and we need to let Parker sleep some more.”
“Yes, let Parker sleep,” they mutter, sounding half-dead and exhausted.
Ben grins, then he climbs out of bed before holding his hand out to me. “Come on, Cutie. Let me take care of you a little.”
I assume he means sexually, especially when he takes me into the bathroom and strips my clothes off. What I’m not expecting is for him to guide me under the water and actually take care of me.
His fingers are strong and sure as he washes my hair, massaging my head and dragging the blunt edges of his nails along my scalp. I shiver with each pass, my stomach doing flips.
After he finishes with my hair, he wets a washcloth, lathering it with soap before slowly and meticulously cleaning my body. Even though I know nothing he’s doing is inherently sexual, by the time he’s kneeling on the shower floor and washing my calves, my cock is aching.
He’s hard too, his dick bobbing between his legs, a string of pre-cum stretching toward the shower floor.
When he’s finished cleaning my feet, he stands, dropping the washcloth to the floor before crowding into my space. I bite back a moan when his wet body slots against mine.
“So gorgeous,” he whispers before slamming his mouth down on mine.
This kiss is not like the kisses from before. It’s deep and harsh. Like he’s trying to devour me. Or stake his claim. It’s unnecessary. I’m already his.
A shiver runs down my spine when he reaches between us and lines our cocks up, trapping them against each other between our stomachs, never once breaking the kiss.
His tongue slides over mine, his moans vibrating against my chest. With a gasping inhale, he pulls away. “I have to admit something to you,” he says softly.
“Yeah?” I ask, my heart pounding furiously.
“I’ve been jealous of Parker since the very first time we had sex.”
My heart claws its way into my throat. “What? Why?”
Ben chuckles. “Calm down, Cutie, I’m mostly playing.”
I try to calm my racing heart. “What do you mean?”
Tracing the edge of my jaw with his thumb, he smiles. “That first time, the two of you docked. It was so hot, Lan. I don’t think you even understand how hot it was. And I wanted that too.”
Something inside me relaxes. That’s easy enough to remedy. “You want to?”
“Did you like it?”
I nod slowly, my cheeks heating.
Ben brushes my jaw again. “You’d want to do it again? With me?”
“Yeah,” I breathe, my dick jerking hard against his where they’re still pressed together.
Ben takes a step back, and without missing a beat, grabs the base of my cock. “God, you have no idea how much I want you, Lan.”
If it’s anything like how I want him, I’m sure I do.
“God, baby. I’m gonna make you come so hard,” he murmurs, lining the tips of our cocks up before working to stretch my foreskin over his head. I shudder hard. Fuck, this feels so good. So damn good.
Ben thrusts forward, tightening his grip on our heads where we’re trapped together, his deep moan echoing off the tiles.
I’m leaking, or maybe he is. I don’t know. All I know is I can feel it. Can feel the slick way our cockheads rub together. My balls draw up tight to my body as a loud groan rips from my chest.
“Feel good, baby?” Ben pants, his voice rough as he strokes our cocks in a perfect rhythm.
The only sound I make is a whiny sort of groan that would be embarrassing if what he was doing didn’t feel so fucking good.
Ben’s hand speeds up as a low, choked laugh leaves his throat. “Fuck. Jesus fuck, I want you.”
“You have me,” I choke out, my stomach tightening. Before I can process, Ben takes a step back, dropping our cocks. “Hey,” I mumble, disappointed.
Leaning close, Ben drags his nose along my throat, then presses soft, seeking kisses to my skin. I shiver when he hums. “Can I fuck you? God, I want to. Want to feel you pulsing around my cock like you did with my fingers.”
A groan spills from me, even as my cheeks heat. “Yes. Yeah.”
“Fuck,” he moans. “Okay, turn around?”
I face the shower wall and nearly choke when Ben’s warm hands grip my ass cheeks and he pulls them apart, exposing me to him.
“Fuck,” he says again, more hoarse than last time, and I almost want to laugh at how I’ve reduced him to nothing but the word fuck.
“Yeah,” I say breathlessly, trying to be flippant. Ben isn’t the only one who really wants this. “That’s the point, right?”
He chuckles. “Can I rim you?”
“Uh, yes?” It comes out far less confident than I’d like.
“If you don’t like it, we’ll stop,” Ben says, and then his face is buried between my cheeks and his tongue is swiping over my hole.
I gasp, knees going a bit weak as I rest my forearms against the cool shower wall.
Ben goes all in with nearly everything he does like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do, and that’s evident in the way he’s licking and sucking and nibbling on my hole. In the way he’s moaning and panting and kneading the flesh of my ass.
“Fuck,” I moan. “That’s good. Feels good.”
Ben’s fingers tighten, and his slight stubble scrapes against my ass cheeks as he takes me apart. I can feel each swipe of his tongue in my cock, and it jerks and pulses, oozing pre-cum. He stiffens his tongue, then he’s pressing it into me.
A noise leaves me. Something breathless. Something fucking embarrassing. And I have to grip the base of my cock so I don’t shoot my load all over the shower wall without him even touching me. “I’m close,” I chant, trying to warn him.
He doesn’t stop. A finger joins his tongue, working me open and grazing my prostate until I’m barely even holding myself up.
“Fuck, Ben. Fuck me.”
He pulls away with a groan. “Out of the shower.”
I stumble away from the wall and turn, stepping out blindly. “Lean over the sink. I’ll be right back.”
I don’t even bother with a towel. I just brace my elbows on the sink and lean over, just like he said.
I’m still dripping wet, and it feels like forever before he finally comes back.
“Sorry, Cutie. Needed a condom and lube.”
We really need to start stashing them all over the place. I nod, letting my head fall forward.