Chapter 7 #2
Before I could tell her that I’d take the blame with Rafe, she pressed her lips to mine again and I was lost. I rocked back on my side, taking her with me, cradling her against me, my mouth on her cheek, her jaw. Holding her was a luxury; something I’d wanted to do for so long.
“You stayed home for me, to wait for me,” I said, unable to tell her how much that meant to me, “to make sure I was okay.”
“You needed me. I think maybe I knew you would.”
“I don’t even care why you stayed,” I admitted, “I just care that you’re here now.”
“I’m here, Leo,” Lexi said, my name in her mouth as I kissed her again.
It was fast and blurry, a sweaty coupling on my rumpled bed.
She had been right about how long we’d both wanted it, because there was no time for finesse, no time for a slow and tender awakening.
My fingers trailed down her stomach into her damp nest of curls.
She’d writhed against my hand, proving how ready she was from just a few kisses.
I reached over her head to the bedside table, fumbled in the drawer for a condom.
I had it open and rolled it on before I dipped my head to taste her nipple, to nip at it and tease her, making sure she was slick and ready.
I opened her with my fingers, stroking her seam, and settled between her thighs.
I kissed her neck, behind her ear and whispered how much I needed her.
I pushed my cock inside her, felt her spreading and flaring around me.
She was small and tight, a pulse of pleasure rolling through me already.
I caught my breath when she wrapped her legs around my hips, urging me on.
I brushed back her hair, my mouth on hers.
I took her gasps and moans into my mouth, tasting every sound that I stroked from her with my thrusts.
She was delicious, responsive. I came fast and hard, lost in her sweet, hot flesh.
As I withdrew, I put my fingers on her, petted her, stroked her until I felt her legs quiver, her back arch.
Her teeth dug into her lower lip. I licked her ear, circled her sensitive nub with my thumb, dipping and rubbing until she came apart under my hand.
I crushed her against me, letting her ragged breathing slow down and settle.
She held on to me, my lips against her hair.
She slept for an hour, naked and tangled up with me.
I drew the sheet over us, reveled in the warmth of her soft body curled up against me, her hair tumbling over my shoulder and arm.
When she stirred, her arms went around me, hugging me to her. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“For what?” I said, still basking in the afterglow.
“That was a mistake, Leo. It was supposed to make it better. But it’s made everything worse,” she met my eyes reluctantly, her bottom lip quivering.
“What do you mean? It didn’t feel like a mistake, Lexi, it felt like paradise.”
I shook my head in disbelief, not wanting to hear that she regretted being with me.
“That’s just it, Leo. I knew what I was doing, and I thought if we gave in to it, to this attraction, we could get it out of our system and move on as friends.
That we could, I don’t know, scratch an itch and get past it.
I was supposed to stop wanting you. I was supposed to be able to share this with you and decide we were better off as friends and roommates.
But this made everything worse. Because I still want you.
I want you even more now,” she said, her eyes shining with unshed tears.
I felt like my chest had been clawed open and light spilled into it.
I crushed her in my arms. It felt so good to hold her, to know that she was shaken by the connection that I had sensed too.
That she didn’t get me out of her system, that she still wanted me the way I wanted her.
I was overjoyed. There was no other way to describe it.
I fell to kissing her, my mouth on hers as natural as anything.
“You’re everything I want, Lexi,” I whispered against her ear, moving my mouth to kiss her neck.
She shook her head and pulled away, “I’m sorry. I can’t stay here. This was a horrible thing to do to you and to Rafe, to your friendship. You were the best friends I’ve ever had and look what I did to you. I’ve ruined everything,” she said, her expression twisting in an agony of self-blame.
“You didn’t do this alone. We’ll tell him together, Lexi. It’s okay. It was supposed to be like this, don’t you feel that? I don’t do this. I mean, I have sex and plenty of it. But I don’t get romantic. I don’t feel like this about anyone, not ever. Like I want to keep you.”
“I know we have to tell him, but this is on me. I wanted this. I stayed behind this morning so I could see you alone, see if you wanted me, too. I’ve never felt the way you made me feel this morning.”
“You act like you drugged me and took advantage, Lexi, and that’s not how it happened.
I was wrecked coming off my shift. I found you here waiting for me.
I wanted you instantly, body and soul. You comforted me, gave me the closeness I didn’t even know I needed.
God, Lexi, I feel like I’m totally undone here.
And you’re talking bullshit about how you ruined everything. Where is this even coming from?”
“Rafe is going to hate us. Hate me. Leo, we kissed the other night,” she said, shaking her head.
“I know, he told me. Listen, I don’t care about that,” I told her.
“You don’t?” she asked, disbelief thick in her voice.
“No, baby. I don’t. We agreed to let you choose and you chose me.
I want you again and again. I want you moved into my room so I can reach out for you in the night.
I want you falling asleep in my arms so I can watch over you and never let anyone hurt you again.
You can’t know what it does to me that you trust me this much after all you’ve been through. ”
I stopped short. I almost said it way too soon. It would be stupid and drive her away. She was already spooked. It wasn’t a good time to say I had feelings for her.
“Rafe is the best guy I know. He’s not going to kick you out or anything.
He’ll understand. He’ll be upset, and he may kick my ass, but we’re family, the three of us.
Don’t underestimate that. You haven’t had family before, but there’s a loyalty there, an understanding that our history together doesn’t let this be disposable.
We won’t cut each other out, give up on a friendship like that. ”
“You’re right. I don’t understand it. And you two have a history together, but I don’t.”
“He’d walk through fire for you, Lexi. We both would. Don’t sell yourself short here.”
“I don’t deserve it, Leo. Look at me.”
“I am looking at you. You’re everything,” I said, meaning every word.