41. Sabrina
CHAPTER 41
SAbrINA
“Where are my keys?”
They’re not where they should be, and I need to leave in the next five minutes, otherwise I’ll be late for my meeting with Jessica.
Lucy rounds the corner, her lips turned down in a frown that tells me I’m not going to like what she has to say.
“They’re not here. Your car is gone.”
I blink. Blink again.
“Tell me you’re fucking with me.”
“It got picked up early this morning.”
“What the fuck? Why?”
Lucy grabs my hand and pulls me toward the front door. “It’s better to show you.”
I’m trying to make sense of what she means when she throws the door open and drags me to the driveway.
When a large and unfamiliar Mercedes comes into view, I stop in my tracks. “What’s that?”
“Um.” She scratches the side of her nose. “Noah. He said he wanted you to drive something safer.”
I level my best friend with an annoyed look. “And you conspired with him on this?”
“When you put it that way, it sounds awful.” She rubs my arm in comfort. “But I didn’t think it was a bad idea. Your car was one encounter with a pothole shy of falling apart.”
“It’s a Toyota,” I snap. “They last forever. What am I supposed to do with this thing?” I wave at the silver monstrosity. “It looks better suited to doing my taxes than getting me around town.”
Lucy puts a hand over her mouth, stifling her laughter.
“I’m not joking,” I warn her.
“I know. That’s what makes it so funny. Take it up with Noah, but I’m pretty sure he hauled your old car to junk.”
I sigh in defeat. It’s exactly the kind of stunt he would pull. With another look at the time on my phone, I whip around. “Shit. If I don’t leave now, I’m going to be late.”
“Keys are inside the car.”
With a shake of my head, I stomp toward the oversized vehicle. “This is insane.”
Inside, the surprises continue. On the passenger seat, I find a designer handbag sitting like an obedient pet waiting for its owner to return.
That man is so lucky he’s on another continent. Otherwise I’d hunt him down and slap him silly for this.
“How do I even start this thing?” I assess the dash and the blank screen where a stereo should be. Everything in the vehicle is so brand new and shiny.
I pull out my phone and Google the make and model, including a phrase that includes “how to start.” The first YouTube video in the search results goes over all the bells and whistles.
“I don’t have time for this.” I smack my hand on the steering wheel as I repeatedly tap the button that skips ahead ten seconds until I find the information I need. Once the car is running, I have to figure out how to shift into drive and reverse. This is ridiculous. I’ve been driving for years, though I’ve only ever driven cars, not fucking rocket ships.
Once I’m headed down the street, I ring Noah. It’s early evening in France, so hopefully he’s done practicing for the day.
“Hello, beautiful,” he answers with a smile. How do I know he’s smiling? Because I can hear it in his voice.
“What the fuck?”
“I take it you’ve seen the car?”
“What gave it away?”
He chuckles. “Don’t tell me you don’t like it.”
“Where’s my 4-Runner? You shouldn’t have bought me a car. Why did you buy a car?”
“To say I’m sorry,” he answers, his tone full of much more gravity now. “I…”
A rustling sound echoes down the line, like maybe he’s running his fingers through his hair. “I know leaving wasn’t easy. I’m sorry if I pushed you to do it and I’m sorry for being the reason you’re hurting, even if we both know this is for the best.”
“You’re sorry?” I grit out, focusing on keeping my temper held back. The last thing I need is to show up to lunch with Jessica in a rage. “You’re sorry, so you bought me a fucking car?”
“Most women would just say thank you and maybe offer to suck my dick.”
“Noah!” I almost drive off the road.
“Just saying.”
With a growl, I smack the steering wheel. “I can’t believe you.”
“Do you like it, though?” His tone is far more vulnerable than I’m used to when it comes to him, like he truly wants me to love it and be okay with it.
“No, it’s fucking obnoxious.” It’s the truth, but luckily, I’ve infused enough levity in my tone to pull a laugh from him, a true, deep belly laugh.
I smile in victory and sit a little straighter.
“Liar. Give it a day or two.”
“This is so unnecessary.”
“What about the bag? I saw you eyeing one like it in a shop window in Paris.”
“Noah, you seriously don’t need to do all this. I’m…” I’m not fine , so it takes me a moment to reword my assurance. “I’m okay with simple things.”
“Doesn’t stop me from wanting to spoil you, though.”
I sigh and press my head against the seat back. “You make it so hard for me to stay mad at you.”
“It’s a talent.” His tone is light, but in the next moment, it’s low and filled with emotion. “I miss you, baby.”
The soft way he says those words makes my heart squeeze tight. “I miss you too. Thank you for the obnoxious and completely unnecessary gifts.”
“You’re welcome, Curls. Are you on the way to meet with Jessica?”
“Yeah.” My voice wavers on that single word. I’m nervous, but probably not for the reason he might think.
“Good luck. And call me when you’re done. I want to hear how it goes.”
“I will.”
“I love you.”
The lump in my throat triples in size, making it hard to speak, but I manage to get the words out anyway. “I love you too.”
The call ends and I’m left in silence.
I hate this. I hate being away from him, even if we agreed this was for the best. Never could I have imagined being the kind of girl who falls head over heels for some guy and can no longer function on her own. But Noah isn’t just some guy. He’s the guy. My heart knows that, and when it’s this far away from his, it aches nonstop.
In the parking lot of the restaurant, I have to try four times to maneuver the beast of a vehicle into a spot without being over the line on either side.
I’m a few minutes early, so I take several deep breaths and flip the visor down to check my makeup before heading inside.
I sit alone at our table for close to ten minutes before a woman in her thirties strides my way, looking a little frazzled.
“Sabrina? I’m Jessica. I apologize for my tardiness,” she says as she sits and extends her hand. “It’s so nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you.”
“My son wasn’t feeling well this morning and threw my whole schedule off, but I’m really glad we could meet in person. The job is yours if you want it, but I thought it’d be nice to chat face to face.”
Our server appears with a basket of bread and takes our drink orders. When she’s gone again, Jessica pulls her shoulders back and smiles at me.
“You’ve been nannying for a professional tennis player, is that right? What’s that like?”
“It’s been a wonderful experience. Maddie’s an incredible kid and I’ve had the honor of homeschooling her too.”
“Oh, that’s great to hear. Does that mean you’ve been traveling a lot?”
“Yes,” I answer with a quiet laugh. “More than I ever have. I’ve seen places I’ve only dreamed of, and it’s given me valuable insight I couldn’t have gotten otherwise.”
“How so?”
When the server sets our waters in front of us, we both murmur our thanks.
“Well,” I say. “I would’ve never experienced so many cultures. Maddie and I always had a lot of time to explore.”
“When you say her name, your expression goes all soft. You must be very fond of her.”
My heart aches. I miss her so much, but her nonstop text messages help. “Yes. She’s wonderful.”
“If you don’t mind me asking, why are you leaving? It sounds like a great position. You get to see the world and you’re still teaching, even if it’s not in a classroom setting.”
Swallowing thickly, I battle with myself over how honest I should be. “It’s complicated.”
She waves her hand through the air like she’s swatting a fly. “I have time.”
With a sharp inhale, I clasp my hands in my lap. “I, um, honestly? I fell in love with her father.”
“Ah.” She nods, lips pursed. “I see.”
“Oh.” I jolt, realizing how my admission could be interpreted. “He’s single. It’s not like that.”
She laughs and breathes a sigh of relief. “Okay, so maybe not so complicated. What’s the problem, exactly?”
I lick my lips while I consider my words. In the end, I decide to lay it all out there.
“He supports my aspirations, and when he saw the job offer, he urged me to take it. He doesn’t want me to miss out on my dream while he’s living his.”
Head tilted, she smiles. “It’s admirable that he doesn’t want to hold you back, but I notice you said he wanted you to take the job. What about you? Are you really interested in this position? If not, I promise you won’t hurt my feelings.”
“No, no.” I lurch forward, hands splayed on the table. “That’s not it at all. This is exactly what I’ve been waiting for…”
She gives a small, soft smile. “But?” she prompts.
“I don’t know how to explain it. I… I want to be with them, but I also want to teach. Yes, I’ve been teaching Maddie, but it’s different. I want to really teach.”
Jessica takes a sip of water. “I have a few thoughts if you’re willing to listen.”
My chest pinches in response to her kindness. “Of course.”
Once we’ve ordered our meals, Jessica dives in. “You don’t seem thrilled about this job.”
I open my mouth to protest, to explain that I am excited but that I’m still sad over leaving them.
Before I can, she holds up a hand. “Love is an amazing, wonderful thing, but no one should lose themselves or stop pursuing their dreams because of it, so I commend…”
“Noah.”
“Noah.” She smiles. “I commend him for loving you enough to encourage you to take the job. That was very selfless of him.”
I duck my head, willing my tears not to fall. I don’t know this woman well enough to cry in front of her.
“But,” she says, tapping the table, “you don’t have to do this. You can still teach in other capacities. Have you thought about being an online educator?”
“No,” I say, a little stunned. It never occurred to me that it was an option. “How would that work?”
“There’s a growing need for virtual teachers, whether it’s teaching in an online classroom or tutoring. I have some connections and I’d be happy to reach out on your behalf if it’s something you think you’d be interested in.”
“Can I think about it?” I ask, trying to wrap my head around the information she’s given me.
“Yes, of course.” Head lowered, she smooths the napkin in her lap. “I would love to hire you, but the open spot at my school may not be the job for you right now and that’s okay.”
I should be jumping up and down, eager to take the job. It’s everything I’ve wanted for so long. Instead, my heart aches without Noah and Maddie.
“Try not to stress about it,” she says. “Everything will work out in the end. That’s what I tell my students.”
The whole way home, my mind races. I’m more confused than ever, and I have so much to think about.