42. Noah
CHAPTER 42
NOAH
“Does love make everyone this annoying?”
I arch a brow at Elias, who’s sitting across from me. I’m not sure why, when he saw me sulking in the café across from our hotel, he thought it would be a great idea to bother me.
“Do you enjoy forcing your presence on people who don’t want it?”
He grins, his teeth a bright white in the sunlight. “Immensely. Granted, I’ve never been in love, but the way I see it, the most logical thing to do would be to call Sabrina up, tell her you miss her, and ask her to come back.”
Brow cocked, I eye him over the rim of my espresso cup. “No.”
He rolls his eyes. “Explain it to me, then, because I don’t fucking get it.”
“One day you’ll fall in love?—”
He scoffs.
“You will, Elias, I promise. And when you do, you’ll understand. Loving someone means being willing to do just about anything for them, even if it makes you miserable. I hired Sabrina knowing this wasn’t her ultimate goal. I didn’t plan on falling in love with her, but regardless, this gig was never going to be a forever thing for her.”
“Shit changes,” he argues. “She fell in love with you too. The whole world can see it. She wasn’t even swayed by my charm.”
I bark out a laugh. “Your charm?”
Rearing back, he scoffs. “You’re a straight man, so naturally, my charm doesn’t work on you. But trust me, there are plenty of people out there who can’t resist it.”
This asshole. I shake my head, but I can’t help but grin.
“Since we’re friends,” he goes on, “I feel uniquely qualified to give you advice.”
“Oh?” I laugh. “We’re friends now, are we?”
“Shut up. You know you like me.” He holds up the small menu and scans it.
Shit, looks like the fucker won’t be leaving me alone any time soon.
He’s right, though. Unfortunately, he’s grown on me. In all honesty, I think I liked it better when I hated his guts. It was so much easier to ignore him back then.
“All I’m saying is, I know you’re trying to be all selfless over here, but woo .” He wiggles his fingers. “Big fucking deal. You look like you cry yourself to sleep every night, and the skin under your eyes is so saggy you should probably borrow some of my sister’s moisturizer.”
“Um… that’s mean.” Damn it. What’s with the Johnson siblings and their concern about the bags under my eyes? Are they really that bad?
“I can be meaner. Would you like me to add a little razzle dazzle?” He rubs his fingers together like he’s sprinkling salt on a dish.
“Not particularly.” I sigh. “How about you just get to the point?”
“The point is…” He leans across the table. “Actually…” He cocks his head to one side. “I’m not sure what my point is. All I know is if I was this down bad for a chick, I’d do something about it.”
The knife that’s been lodged in my chest since Sabrina left turns a fraction, and I rub at my sternum to ease the pain. “I don’t want her to regret me.”
“Regret you?” He sits back, eyes wide. “Why would she do that?”
I finish my coffee and lean back slightly in the chair, crossing my arms over my chest. “She’s young. I don’t want her to change all her life plans because of me.”
With his lips pressed together, he sighs loudly. “I’m hearing a whole lot of I and me in there. How do you know she feels like she’s giving anything up?”
“She would. Trust me.” Elbows on the table, I bow my head and rake my hands through my hair. “One day, she’d regret it. Regret me. And I have Maddie to think about.”
Elias scoffs. “Don’t drag your kid into this. That’s just shady.”
“You’re not a dad—not that you know of, at least. You wouldn’t get it. But for me, my kid always comes first.”
He presses a hand to his heart. “You seriously think I might have little Eliases running around? I wrap it up nice and tight, thank you very much.”
I sigh heavily. It’s like I’m babysitting a teenager.
“You love her, right?” he asks, though he doesn’t give me a chance to respond. “What’s so complicated about that? You don’t want to spend most of the year on different continents, do you?”
“No.” I ball my hands into fists. “But if we’re… if we’re together, dating, whatever, it’d be weird if she worked for me. I don’t think she’d appreciate being an employee of the guy she’s sleeping with. She needs her own thing. I don’t want…” I grind my teeth, racking my brain for the best way to explain this. “I don’t want her to feel indebted or obligated to me. I don’t want her to resent me or feel dependent on me. I want her to have her own money and her own life. I’d hate it if she felt tied to me because she had no other choice.”
Elias’s face softens with pity. “I get what you’re saying, dude. I do. But I don’t think Sabrina’s like that. She could do something like Ebba does. Find a job that allows her to travel.”
“I don’t think Sabrina has any interest in being a social media influencer.”
Elias rolls eyes his eyes. “It’s a kick-ass career, but it’s not the only remote job out there, Baker. Think outside the box.”
“I don’t want to figure it out for her. Again, that’s just me backing her into a corner. If she wants to be here, do the traveling and all that shit, I want it to be her choice.”
Elias fake gags. “God, you’re so fucking in love it’s sickening. Keep your weird love juju on that side of the table, please. I don’t want to get infected.”
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re dramatic?”
He perks up obnoxiously. “My sister tells me every day. Whimsy also has a weekly reminder in her calendar to humble me.”
“She has to pencil that in, huh?”
“I’m a busy guy.” He sets the menu down and twists around, peering into the cafe. “What does it take for a man on crutches to get an espresso around here?”
I lower my head to my hands. Shit. Next time, I’ll pick a coffee shop much farther from where we’re staying.
When a server walks by, I flag him down and point at Elias. “He’d like to order.”
While Elias rattles off his order, I stand and throw cash onto the table.
“Where are you going?” He throws his arms out wide in protest. “You can’t leave. We just got started. This is therapy with Elias. Why would you want to miss out on bonding time like this?”
“I have an actual therapist for that.”
“Shit, you do?” His brows arch so high they almost disappear into his hairline. “Good for you. I had one once, but then she fell in love with me, so I had to fire her.”
Is this guy for real?
“I’ll see you later,” I call as I turn on my heel and head back across the street to the hotel.
Back in the suite, I find Ebba and Maddie playing a card game.
“Tell me you’re not teaching my kid how to play poker.”
“It’s Go Fish,” Maddie chirps. “What’s poker?”
Ebba cocks her head to the side, lips pursed.
Hands on my hips, I stare her down. “Your brother is annoying.”
She snorts. “I shared a womb with him, and you think I don’t know that? Go fish.” She sets her cards down and lifts her chin. “If it’s any consolation, he likes you and he’s genuinely worried about you.”
“I’m fine,” I say, my tone way too defensive. “You guys don’t need to worry about me so much.”
“Can’t help it when you’re constantly moping,” Ebba replies. “Got any sixes?”
“Go fish.”
“I’m not moping. I’m…” I wave a hand, searching for words I can’t find.
“See?” She tosses her head back and laughs.
I scratch at my chin. Dammit. Why is it that everywhere I turn, people are calling me out on my bullshit? I can’t imagine what it would’ve been like if I’d returned to the circuit sooner.
“Maddie, you want to go do something fun?” Ebba drops her cards to the table.
“Sure.” Maddie puts down her cards too. “Like what?”
Crossing my arms over my chest, I face my daughter. “You’re going to abandon your dad just like that?”
“I’m not under strict orders like you are.”
Dammit, even the kid is busting my chops. She’s right, of course. Since I’m here competing, I’m not free to wander around like she is.
“I thought we could go shopping,” Ebba says, gathering the cards into a pile.
“I love shopping.”
I point a finger in warning at my kid. “Don’t you dare get any more of those jelly bear things.”
She rolls her eyes and hops to her feet. “Jellycat, Dad. And that’s not fair. There are special ones here in Paris that I can’t get anywhere else.”
Ebba laughs and points at me. “That’s girl speak for hand over the credit card; I’m getting more stuffies .”
With a groan, I dig my wallet out of my pocket.
“Don’t go overboard, kiddo.”
“I won’t,” she promises, doing a little twirl.
She’s definitely coming back here with twenty more of those things. God help me.