15. Dove #2
Josh looked up at me, then back down. “Maybe.” Then a sly grin broke out onto his face. “Why? Are you planning something?”
“Me?” I scoffed. “No!”
“Because I can easily cancel those plans.”
That sounded flirtatious , I thought with a thread of panic. Was he flirting with me?
Should I flirt back?
My heart pounded behind my rib cage and the sun shone too warm over my heated skin, and words just tumbled out of my mouth. “You’ll be subjected to a boring night in if you do, because I don’t have anything planned. Unless you want to spend it mucking stalls with me.”
I groaned internally. Mucking stalls , really? I was hopeless, flirting skills nonexistent.
“Oh no.” He laughed and shook his head, a smirk curling on his gorgeous face, that dimple I loved so much toying with me. His eyes shone with amusement. “Can’t have that.”
I bit my lip, contemplating if I should say what I’d been thinking since Eddie had brought the night out up to Josh.
“Actually, I was…” I hesitated, then continued as our eyes met. “I was thinking I’d come with.”
His eyebrows rose toward his hairline.
My shoulders rose defensively.
“I haven’t been out in a while,” I explained quickly. “And I wasn’t twenty-one before you—left.” I stumbled over the word. “So, we’ve never had the chance to drink together.”
“We’ve drank plenty together,” he argued.
I rolled my eyes. “Partying by the lake doesn’t count, and you watched me like a hawk anytime I picked up a drink.”
“Because you were underage,” he pointed out, annoyingly sensible.
“So were you!”
“That’s different.”
“Not really.” I waved a hand dismissively. “Either way, it doesn’t matter now. I’m of legal drinking age, and I think it would be…fun. To go out and drink. With you.”
I hoped the flush rising in my cheeks wasn’t obvious.
“And friends,” I tacked on hastily when Josh continued to stare at me, eyebrows drawn together.
After a beat I added, “I think it would be fun to go out with your friends.” There, that sounded better.
“You know Eddie wouldn’t exclude you, Dove,” Josh reminded me. “That invite included you, too.”
I shrugged, toeing at some loose gravel with my boot. “He’s your friend, though. Maybe he just wanted it to be the guys, or whatever.”
Josh shook his head. “He knows I’d want you there, you’re my—” He stumbled on his sentence, cutting himself off. But I knew the word sister was about to fall out of his mouth.
If I’m not that, I begged him silently to finish his sentence, then what am I to you, Josh?
“It’s my birthday,” he amended, averting his gaze from mine. He adjusted Omen in his arms, causing the comfy cat to give a disgruntled meow. “If I want you there, you’ll be there.”
“Invite or not, I’d just show up anyway.” Feeling mischievous, I glanced up at him with a smirk. “I don’t need anyone’s permission. Not even yours.”
The flare of heat in his eyes had nothing to do with the sun shining down on us, and I turned, walking away toward the house, leaving him staring after me.
All of a sudden, I was parched .
Josh
What a little brat, I thought with incredulity as I watched Dove walk away.
There was no doubt in my mind anymore that there was something there between us. For both of us. It was in the way Dove’s breath hitched as I drew closer to her, in the way she shivered when I touched her skin, in the way her hips swayed a little extra as if she knew I’d watch her walk away.
I wasn’t entirely sure what we were doing, but it felt a little like playing with fire.
Something was holding her back, though. All day today, but especially in the last few minutes, it charged in the space between us, beckoning, but she was always the first to pull away. The moment I got close to the point of saying fuck it , she retreated.
There was plenty keeping us from each other, but I wondered what specifically had her walking away from me.
Did this thing thrumming between us scare her? Because it scared me, too. It scared me in the way I supposed those types of feelings should, intense and consuming as they were.
Or was it the fact we were stepsiblings in the eyes of everyone but our own?
I frowned, watching as she disappeared into the house, the screen door closing behind her with a slam. Another thing to add on my list to fix.
Dove was many things to me, but a sister wasn’t one of them. I was filled with protectiveness for her, but it wasn’t in the way a brother should feel. She became mine the moment she smiled at me, and I’d forced myself to play a part I’d never auditioned for.
But I’d tried, for her.
Because Dove deserved someone looking out for her.
And I’d succeeded all the way up until that fateful day when everything fell apart. But even then, I’d resisted, because I knew what Dove needed most wasn’t what I wished to give her, but instead the guidance of someone who had her best interests at heart.
Fuck my old man for thinking differently.
Just the thought of him brought a well of emotions to the surface, a mix of age-old anger and sorrow. There was so much I still had left to say to him, and now I’d never get the chance.
Shaking those thoughts away, I deposited Omen back in the sunny patch of grass he’d been lying in earlier. He stretched, blinking up at me, ready to follow wherever I was about to go next, I imagined.
I glanced to the screen door again.
There was plenty more we had left to do for the day.
There was so much my dad had let go in his focus on Josie and her illness.
I’d wondered how the tractors had managed to run properly in the state they currently were in until Dove told me my dad had accepted help from some of the local farmers to cut and bale the first two harvests, a fact that surprised me.
My dad could be entirely too proud when he wanted to be, but I knew he’d do anything for Josie, including suck up his pride.
I guess there were some things I’d inherited from my old man after all.
Because despite the work we still had ahead of us, if Dove needed a break, even if it was from me, she’d get a break. In fact, I needed one of my own. I relished the fresh air, where the waft of her strawberry and sunshine scent wasn’t driving me crazy.
I ran a hand through my hair and blew out a breath.
I hadn’t been sure of what I’d be getting myself into when I came back home, but I never expected this.
Before I left, our roles had been cut and dry.
Dove was my stepsister, and I acted like her stepbrother.
Even if I wanted more, I could never act on it.
Dove was off-limits, unattainable, or my father would have killed me. He’d made that much clear.
But now he was gone, and Dove was… interested? Intrigued?
At the very least, attracted to me. My chest nearly puffed with pride, remembering her heated gaze roaming over me in the silver cast of the television last night.
But that didn’t mean she was ready for anything else. That didn’t mean she wanted anything else. Just because desire lingered in her crystal blue eyes didn’t mean anything else did.
It didn’t mean she wanted the same things as me.
Even so, there was nothing she could ask for that was too much. If Dove wanted the world, it was hers. I’d do anything in my power to give it to her.
So, it was simple.
If Dove wanted me , she could have me. I was hers. I’d gladly give her any piece of me she craved. I just had to find out what exactly it was she wanted, because every bit of me belonged to that girl.
Even the parts she didn’t want.