Chapter Eight
A utumn
Watching Felix walk out the door earlier had been both a disappointment and a relief.
Their conversation during dinner had been slightly awkward and it felt as if he had been scrutinizing Autumn’s every move as she navigated her way through the meal.
Him mentioning her changes in preference had thrown her for a bit of a loop, but so what if she liked a little spice now?
As far as she was concerned, liking new foods wasn’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but Felix had looked at her like she was an alien.
It was only fair since she had been looking at him in a similar manner over the last few days, but Autumn thought they were past that initial Who the hell are you period and were making progress.
He was supposed to be her best friend, so his leaving when their interaction had gotten a little weird had made her slightly stricken.
Even when things felt slightly stilted between them, she found his presence to be more comforting than not.
If she needed more evidence of this, it was the fact that as soon as he walked out the door, Autumn missed him terribly.
While Autumn sat and flipped through the book that had been on her nightstand, she wondered if she missed Felix only because she didn’t want to be alone with the empty memory box that was her brain.
Ultimately, as she tried to concentrate on the novel but couldn’t quite get into the story about a wounded British soldier and his American nurse, Autumn discovered that she actually missed Felix himself.
It was nice not to be alone, and his hangdog looks had caused her to feel a tad bit guilty, but his presence was reassuring, soothing, and he smelled familiar in the same way the stuffed bunny on her bed had.
No concrete memories surfaced from his scent, which was a wonderful mix of fresh cotton, tart apple, and something else underneath it all that she supposed was just naturally Felix.
It made her feel safe, so much so that on the second night in the hospital, she’d snuck out of her bed and over to where he lay on the fold out couch.
Autumn had smelled his hair, letting the crisp scent wash over her until she felt relaxed enough to sleep.
It was a move she hadn’t dared make again for fear of creeping him out and having him run away, but now she wished she’d done it a few more times just so she could recall it more easily.
A small squeak caused Autumn to look away from the same page she’d been staring at for at least an hour and over to the doorway.
Felix stepped into the apartment carrying an armful of groceries, looking like a whole different person than when he’d fled the apartment.
When he saw her looking, he smiled happily before he plonked his bags down on the kitchen counter.
“Hey. I’m glad you aren’t asleep yet.” He reached into the canvas bags and started pulling out items like whipped cream, walnuts, and hot fudge. “I brought you a surprise.”
There seemed to be a shine about him that had been missing before, and as she joined him in the kitchen, Autumn could only guess why that was. “Did you have a nice time visiting your girlfriend?”
That’s who Autumn assumed he had gone to see.
He’d talked to a woman of the same name a few times from the hospital, and while the name Lottie didn’t ring any bells in her mind, she’d still felt jealous of whoever she was.
It seemed silly of her to feel that way, but Autumn couldn’t help the bit of ire toward Lottie that stirred in her chest. Felix wasn’t hers, but she felt possessive of him anyway.
Maybe that was residual friendship speaking, but whatever had caused her to feel that way seemed significantly stronger than that.
Felix stared at Autumn with a confused expression on his face before a smile replaced it.
“Autumn, baby. Lottie is not my girlfriend. Never has been and never will be.” Felix speaking the word baby to her in his smooth voice did something to her.
A shiver ran up and down her spine and she was fairly certain parts of her she’d forgotten existed came roaring back to life.
As if he was somehow aware of the effect he had on her, Felix’s smile widened as he pulled out a carton of vanilla ice cream and slid it over to her.
“She’s my coworker and agreed to look after the bar I own while I spend time with you. ”
Autumn breathed a sigh of relief she hadn’t realized she’d been holding since the moment he left their apartment.
“Oh, I see.” She picked up the ice cream, trying to let the cold that seeped into the palms of her hands shock her into somehow making sense of the strange feelings she was having toward her supposed best friend.
All that managed to happen was that Autumn’s hands went numb and she nearly dropped the carton on the counter, but luckily Felix was there to help her out. “I’ve got this.”
His words stirred the air between them and as she looked up at him, suddenly the few inches that separated them were too much.
Her eyes flicked to his lips, and she felt the sudden urge to trace the edges of them with her finger, then her tongue before nibbling at them with her teeth.
Autumn licked her own in response to the rampant desire that was suddenly burning through her, but before she could do anything about it, Felix swiftly stepped back.
Glancing around in a panic, he suddenly shoved all of the ingredients toward her. “Brownie sundaes,” he blurted.
Trying to blink away the confusion at her emotions and his random announcement, Autumn shook her head and looked over at him. “Brownie sundaes?”
Felix nodded quickly before snatching a box of brownie mix and holding it up in front of his chest almost protectively.
“Yup. Whenever either of us has a bad day, a bad breakup, or just needs a little pick me up, we have brownie sundaes.” He grabbed a couple of bowls that looked like the stoneware he’d shown her from her website and started to pile ingredients into them, looking at her with a wry smile.
“I figured if there was ever a time for some emotional eating, it was now.”
“Fair,” she remarked. Joining him at the counter, Autumn stared at the ingredients. Not wanting to make another misstep like she had with dinner, she gazed up at Felix hopefully. “Do you want to put one together for me? I don’t really remember how I used to do it.”
Felix’s brow furrowed for a moment before his eyes brightened.
The swirl of blue and green was mesmerizing, and Autumn idly wondered how anyone was ever able to look into those mesmerizing, lake water eyes and walk away not half in love with him based on them alone.
“Well, that’s the thing, Auts. After I left, I took some time and with a few words of wisdom from a friend, I realized that instead of trying to get back to what we were or who you were, maybe we could just start fresh. Figure things out as we go along.”
Autumn nodded as she processed his words. It seemed counterintuitive to getting her memories back, by just forgetting about the past altogether, but if this new, lighter, bouncier Felix was the result of that, she was all for trying. “I think I can swing that, or at least attempt to anyway.”
“Well, that’s all any of us can do.” Chuckling he pulled out the last ingredients and tossed the canvas bag aside.
“And in that vein, I present to you every ice cream sundae topping Beecham’s Market had on hand at closing time on a Friday evening.
We’ve got hot fudge, whipped cream, and maraschino cherries.
” Felix went on and on, presenting each item to her as if he were a game show host. His smile widened with each new ingredient until it was nearly splitting his face in two.
“And finally, my favorite sundae topping. Butterscotch.”
Autumn sputtered a laugh as she looked at the golden syrup. “Butterscotch? That’s funny.” Her eyes raked up and down his lanky form, taking in the firm and distinct muscles of his biceps, his sinewy forearms, and strong shoulders. “You certainly don’t look like an eighty-year-old man.”
Felix continued to light up the kitchen with his megawatt smile.
“Glad you noticed,” he said, winking at her.
“My octogenarian preferences aside, I thought it could be fun to try a little of everything and see what you like tonight. Maybe it will be your old favorites or maybe it will be something new. Hell, it might even change from day to day.” He stepped closer to her and tucked a strand of her pink hair behind her ear, his finger skimming her cheek and sending another fissure of pleasure through her body.
“We can hope that your memories come back, and while we do, we can have a good time making new memories together.”
Autumn’s throat caught at his words, the desire to make a whole batch of new memories, specifically in her bedroom, pressing her forward, but she managed to stop herself.
Felix was her friend and even though she was feeling things that were more romantic than platonic toward him in that moment, she didn’t want to disrupt the lightness that existed between them by making a misstep.
“I like that.”
“Good,” Felix said, nodding curtly. “Now, let’s get started or we’ll be up ‘til midnight.”
Autumn nodded, though the prospect of being up late with Felix wasn’t a horrible one. In fact, as the evening wore on, she was finding herself hoping for as much time with him as she could possibly get.
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