Chapter Eight #2
M uch to Autumn’s dismay , more time with Felix didn’t happen after their night of dessert debauchery.
They stayed up later making sundaes, with her settling on brownies, ice cream, walnuts, and hot fudge.
The mix of salty and sweet had been delicious, and in the spirit of making new memories, Felix copied her sundae.
After the first few bites he did end up adding a generous helping of butterscotch, even allowing her to tease him about his old man tendencies as he dug into his improved sundae with gusto.
He’d taken the ribbing in stride, even joking along with her that at least enjoying butterscotch syrup into old age wouldn’t require that he keep all his original teeth.
Felix’s ability to laugh at himself and joke pushed away the storm cloud that had hung over her earlier that evening.
Unfortunately, the grey clouds were back as Autumn sat on the couch of their apartment, staring at the chairs across from her where her parents sat.
They’d arrived late the evening prior, and insisted on coming over first thing that morning.
Autumn had looked forward to their coming when she was in the hospital, hoping that the presence of her lifelong caregivers would put her at ease, but it was having the opposite effect.
Mom and Dad, or Regina and Joe, stared at her much like Felix had those first few days.
As if boring their eyes into hers could excavate the memories from whatever dark mine they’d fallen into.
The longer they sat and stared, the more apprehensive she felt, like she was a science experiment gone wrong.
Sliding her hand over the couch cushion, Autumn felt an immediate sense of relief when Felix grabbed onto it, squeezing tightly.
Her dad’s eyes flicked to hers and Felix’s joined hands and his mouth twitched in the corners.
Their arrival had been a little odd. The bottle blonde hair of her mother looked more familiar than any of her facial features, and Autumn had no recollection of her father ever having had a mustache, but that wasn’t a surprise.
What was surprising was that when they embraced her, she felt comforted, but not nearly as much as she had when she hugged Felix.
Autumn had assumed that the moment she saw her parents, a rush of images of growing up with the pair would invade her brain, but like everything else that seemed familiar to her, it swam just out of reach.
They resembled the parents she’d pictured at the hospital, but that had been so vague that the people sitting in front of her now could have been hired actors for all she knew.
Still, there was at least something about her mom smelling like bread flour and her father like leather-bound books that at least stirred feelings of friendliness toward the older couple.
“So,” her mom said, breaking the weighted silence. “Your father and I were talking and we thought it would be best to take you back home with us.”
Autumn panicked and held Felix’s hand tighter.
She wasn’t sure why she felt tethered to him as much as she did, but the thought of leaving him filled her with dread and despair.
Those emotions had already been experienced in abundance these last few days and Autumn wasn’t keen on feeling them again.
“Does that really make sense?” She glanced at Felix, letting his reassuring smile bolster her confidence. “I mean, my doctors are here, and I’ve lived here almost my whole life. It seems like if anything is going to bring back my memories it’s staying where everything is familiar.”
A sad smile came over her mother’s face. “Is it really all that familiar if you don’t remember it though?” Autumn could see her mom’s point, but that didn’t make it hurt any less that she’d said it out loud.
Rubbing at her suddenly achy chest, Autumn looked away from her parents. “It’s not my fault I don’t remember anything,” she whispered.
Felix pulled her into his side and rubbed his hand up and down her arm. Leaning against him felt nice, his sturdy body lending Autumn the strength she just didn’t have at the moment.
The expression on her mom’s face was a combination of guilt and hurt.
“I know it’s not your fault, sweetie.” She came and sat next to Autumn, and patted her leg.
“And I wasn’t trying to imply that it was, but maybe since none of this is known to you anyway, you could come home.
We have all your baby pictures, school photos, and some of your toys from when you were younger.
Maybe looking at all of that would bring something back to you. ”
Autumn nodded. The idea had merit, but for some reason she just couldn’t get on board with it.
“This feels like home.” Felix relaxed against her, his breath rushing out in an audible whoosh.
She had the feeling he didn’t want her to leave either, though she also knew he wouldn’t stop her if she really wanted to go.
“Okay then,” her dad said, slapping his knees. “Your mom and I can get a rental in town until you’re either feeling better or ready to come home with us.”
Turning to her mom, Autumn saw a somewhat sour expression on her face. “Is that okay with you?” She wasn’t sure why she was asking for her mom’s permission to do what she wanted, but for some reason she felt the need to get the woman’s approval.
“It’s fine, sweetie.” Her mom patted her knee again and smiled.
“I don’t love being in a small town again, but if this is where you want to be, we’ll be fine.
” It sounded a bit like a passive aggressive acquiescence but Autumn didn’t remember her mom well enough to be able to know if that assessment was accurate.
“Thank you,” she breathed out. Looking around the room, Autumn tried to think of anything else they could do besides sit around and stare at each other or talk about her brain injury.
“Now that’s settled, would you both like to tour the orchard?
It’s been a number of years since you’ve last been and I think Travis has made some improvements.
” Felix rose from the couch and ushered her parents toward the door, Autumn trailing behind them.
Peeking over his shoulder, he winked at her before grabbing her coat and helping her into it.
“It’s a little chillier today than it has been, so we better bundle up. ”
Felix placed a rainbow striped beanie on Autumn’s head, pulling it down over her ears with a smile. “Thank you,” she told him.
Her gratitude was for more than just the beanie, and from the sparkle in Felix’s eyes, he got her meaning.
As the four of them walked outside into the cold spring air, Autumn felt her hand drifting toward that of her friend, and as their fingers laced together and stayed that way all though their orchard excursion, her words from earlier rang in her ears. This feels like home.