18. Adam
Adam
Seconds stretched to minutes, then to hours. No, I wasn't being dramatic; it really was hours that Eliza spent in the bath.
I'd heard the front door open and saw her through the camera when she came home.
Her little gleeful giggle and squeal from the bathroom didn't elude me either.
I also might've snuck a peek here and there because I couldn't help myself.
Then, I lost myself in my work for a while, and time kind of flew by.
By the time three hours came and went with no signs of Eliza at my side, I grew a little worried.
Fearing she might've dozed off; I scrambled out of my seat to go check on her. She was fine when I last peeped at her. Granted, that was a long while ago…
Much to my relief, she wasn't floating in the bathtub. Unless she had, and this flustered person before me, with lingerie haphazardly donning her body, was the ghost of Eliza. I was about to leave her be, but something on her arm caught my observant eyes.
For a split second, I played it off as a trick of the light, but when I focused my attention on her arms, all of that went sky-high.
Heat exploded in my chest, cascading in harsh waves over my body.
The bomb of rage veiled my vision with red as instinct took over my actions.
Some unknown force pulled my feet in her direction, causing the distance between us to close in the blink of an eye.
Before I could control myself, I watched my hands shoot out, wrapping around Eliza's forearms. Feeling her body go stiff as a statue under my unintentionally harsh grab was enough of a shock to my system for me to grasp my strings again.
As much as I wanted to apologize and remove myself, I couldn't.
It was too late.
The way her eyes looked like they'd shatter into pieces when she looked up at me in utter fear nearly broke me, and it would've if I weren't so enraged and concerned.
Seeing the discolored lines scattered across her arms and feeling the roughness under my fingers set off some kind of dynamite of pure fury in me as my trembling eyes raked every inch of her scarred arms over and over.
Most of the concentration of scars were on her forearms with only a few scattered higher up.
I was so torn. Half of me wanted to take her to bed, hold her tenderly in my arms while I kissed every one of her scars, and tell her how much I loved and adored her. The other half, the one that won, wanted vengeance for her. She could be spoiled later. I wanted—no, needed—answers, now!
Taking a deep breath, I pulled myself together. I needed to be strong and calm for both of us. I'd already spooked her barging in the way I had, and I didn't want to trigger her into a panic attack.
After a few seconds, I felt the tension in my face ease with my controlled breaths.
Even though my shoulders had relaxed, I could still feel a slight ache threatening to tighten them back up.
With every heaving breath, I fought the suffocating grip around my chest—the one that demanded I take vengeance for my woman.
Once I thought I had a good cap on it, I spoke up. however, the brewing anger slipped from my tongue and spewed out of me like venom, and my voice turned deep and raspy with it.
"Who fucking did this to you?" My grip on her loosened slightly, and I slid my hands up to her shoulders, holding her comfortingly and longingly.
And I refused to let her slip away this time.
Having seen the horrors done to her body, I wanted the name that belonged to the body I was going to carve up to match what had been done to my little rose.
For every scar they inflicted on her body, I would double on theirs.
Then, once I’d scored their body like some lump of meat to be marinated, I'd take them out to sea and make the sharks happy.
This wasn't a matter of if, either. It was only a matter of time.
I will get a fucking name from you, Eliza, one way or another.
But by God, I wanted to melt at her feet and apologize for being so demanding when her eyes teared up.
No! Stop it! No more!
I couldn't cave. Not this time.
Softening my gaze a little, I looked at her demandingly but also with concern.
"Eliza, mia rosa , no more. You need to tell me.
I have been more than patient with you, and I want to keep giving you the time you need, but if you're hiding something like this from me…
I don't know if I can keep hanging back until you are ready.
I mean, how long were you planning to wait before telling me?
How long until you stop wearing long-sleeved shirts? "
Granted, I should've pushed the issue a little more. I mean, did I find it strange how she always wore long-sleeved tops? Maybe. But we were on the Oregon Coast, not like it was bustling hot or warm to the point where a lack of sleeves was needed.
Easing my grip, I slid my hands around her body, pulling her tightly against me.
"Please, let me in, even if it's just a little, or at the very least, tell me who did this.
" Because I needed to kill the bastard; otherwise, I could forget about getting a good night's sleep any time soon.
"Who hurt you?" I pleaded against her head with a kiss.
Eliza's body eased in my arms, and a soft weight pressed against me when she slumped and sobbed. "It was my ex, but I don't want to talk about him… Please… I just want to forget. I don't want to go back to that night." Her muffled words sobbed against my chest as her body shook like a scared bunny.
Her head snapped back in an instant, and her sadness and worry cut through her tears like a knife into my heart.
"Please don't be mad at me. I wanted to tell you.
I did, and I'd planned to do it the morning after I moved in…
But I couldn't bring myself to. I didn't want you to be disgusted with my already flawed body.
" Her small hands fisted the front of my shirt as if she was afraid I'd pull away from her revelation.
"I didn't, and don't, want to lose you. I couldn't risk it, so I continued to hide it. "
" Oh, mia piccola rosa, no, mai ." A flurry of kisses to her face followed a soft shake of my head.
Picking her up in my arms with a smile, I went over to the end of the bed and sat down with her in my lap.
"The only thing I'd do is praise you for being such a strong woman and for getting yourself through such an ordeal, and that is what I am doing now.
" While my lips remained in a proud smile, my concerned and angry eyes had a mind of their own as they fixated on her arms. "I can't even begin to imagine… "
There were so many. I tried to count them all, but I lost track after fifteen because there were so many small ones that they kept blurring together.
Of course, trying to count them didn't quell my anger.
If anything, it only made it worse because the more I looked at them, the more I could see the differences in the discoloration.
She was attacked on more than one occasion, and that pissed me off to an entire universe.
Who was this bastard ex of hers who'd dared to inflict such suffering onto her, and more than once!?
When I get my hands on him, he'll wish he never existed.
Kissing her forehead, I kept my lips pressed against her while I breathed in her soothing scent.
"I can never be upset at you or see you any less.
Besides, you've seen my body and its scars.
So, who am I to judge when my body isn't perfect itself?
" Chuckling, I cupped her face and wiped away her tears with my thumbs.
"You will never be less than perfect to me. "
A look of defeat crossed her eyes momentarily before she closed them and leaned into my touch.
"I don't know how or why I let it happen so many times.
" Her voice cracked a little as she spoke.
"He was so sorry the first time, and I was stupid enough to believe him…
Once, twice, three times. He was always tired from work, a few drinks in his body, and it was my fault for not being more diligent with having dinner ready or the house proper. "
Her tired body trembled against me with her pathetic laugh. "And I was so stupid to let it go on for as long as it did." Her laughter picked up in volume, and it had the same pathetic and disbelieving pitch to it. "Ten fucking years, and to think it could've been forever if it weren't for Asher."
Keeping a comforting smile plastered on my face, I let my thoughts brew in my turbulent mind. "You got out, that's all that matters. You found your strength and will, and you got out. Not everyone can say they did, nor can everyone in your situation find it in themselves to think about escape."
I knew what I wanted to tell her, but everything mixed in my mind. Thoughts about who this ex was, how I fucking missed uncovering such a fact, how much she must have endured. For fuck's sake, ten years! That's how long she was with the damn bastard, yet nothing came up in my search.
No way would something like that have gone under my radar. I was more than diligent with digging into Eliza, so a ten-year relationship would've come up. There had to be something else at work here because I refused to believe that Max and I were that careless.
Using Eliza to distract myself from my own mind, I mindlessly kissed her temples.
"You took that important first step, and you are still walking to a better future.
Even if it's inch by inch, it's better than nothing and much better than being stuck in an abusive relationship.
" I was too numb to put much thought into my words, but Eliza needed such comfort right now, even if it was a little empty.