33. Eliza
Eliza
Last night felt like some fever dream. If I had woken up to the warm sunlight in Adam's arms to Asher jumping on both of us rather than a rocking boat with my MAFIA boyfriend—or soon-to-be ex-mafia-boyfriend—then I would've chalked it up to some whackass nightmare.
Sadly, reality was a bitch.
Seeing Adam's face this morning was not a welcome sight. The only thing his goofy morning smile did was bring back the memories of last night. I mean, how could he do it? Commit crimes at night while I was in bed, then smile so innocently at me as if he didn't have any blood on his hands.
God, he touches me with the same hands he snuffs lives out with. The same one that choked me so tenderly was the same one to break someone else's neck!
God, I can't do this!
Without a word, I shoved his arms and body away from me to scramble out of bed.
Silently, I rushed my morning routine to get away from Adam.
I needed space from him, which was a hard thing to do considering how I was stuck on a fucking yacht with him!
Well, at least the floating hunk of metal was more than big enough for us to go about without seeing each other.
Okay, slight correction: it was big enough for us to go about without crossing paths if Adam allowed it.
He probably did think before, but I only noticed it now because of how on edge I was after last night; I could feel his eyes on my back and see him out of the corner of my eyes.
I didn't bother addressing him. Was it annoying to have him stalk me?
Yes, very much so, but he wasn't doing any harm, nor was he bothering me.
Breakfast went by very awkwardly, which sucked because the meal was amazing, and the scenery was romantic as fuck.
This whole thing was a scene right out of every damn romance movie involving a rich guy charming over a woman.
Yeah, rather ironic because I always hated those movies and the stupid women in it because they were so shallow, dense, gave in too easily, yet I ended being one of them in the end.
Shoveling the delicious food down—shame because I really wanted to enjoy it—I left the instant the last spec of food was cleaned off my plate.
I thought about shoving the plate of food away, but that'd probably prompt Adam to force feed me because going without breakfast was a sin in our relationship.
How stupid of me to think I'd get rid of him so easily, though.
Persistent jerk was hot on my heels the moment I left the table. I was half tempted to whirl around and snap at him to give me space, but I figured him following me around like a lost puppy for reassurance was better than him killing James in the next room over from me.
Although… Speaking of James…
It was probably a bad idea—oh, who was I kidding, it was certainly a horrible idea, but I found myself standing before a heavily guarded door when I came to it. My feet somehow carried my stunned body back to the root of my problems.
I should turn away. I was done with James. I made my peace with him on the patio.
…right?
Everything around me faded away to nothing the more I stared at the door that grew further and further with each pounding beat of my heart. Maybe that was a sign for me to leave because the door was out of reach, but I stepped forward.
Soon, the freezing metal of the doorknob bit the palm of my hand, and the creak of the gears turning assaulted my ears, along with the hinges giving away.
"And look who came crawling back to me." His heavy but weak chuckle echoed throughout the empty room. "Finally come to your senses?"
Unsure of what I was doing, I remained tight lipped as I approached his bloody, chained up body on the floor.
Groaning in pain, James slowly got up to his knees before spitting his venom at me. "Where's your illegal lover? Off killing the man who looked at you wrong? Finding some other chick who is actually worthy of his time and attention?"
If I had doubts about Adam's devotion to me then James's words might've affected me to some extent. Too bad his attempts won't do anything to shake the foundation that's been laid.
Sighing heavily, I leaned down and started to reach out to James.
I never got to touch him, though. He knocked my hand away with a violent jerk of his head and snap of his jaws.
"James…" Swallowing the lump in my throat, I looked at him with eyes full of pity.
"I am so sorry. I didn't ask or want for any of this to happen, really.
I had no idea that Adam had anything bad planned, you have to believe me. "
I don't know why I was apologizing. There was no denying the blackhole of guilt that consumed me when I saw James last night. No matter how shitty of a husband he might've been, he was still a human at the end of the day—and no one deserved the treatment he was getting.
…Well, maybe I shouldn't say that because I was pretty sure there were many exceptions in the world…
Either way, James didn't deserve the murder coming his way. I mean, yeah, he may have nearly killed me once… or twice… three times… more…
Still!
A sudden wet slap against my face had me reeling back in disgust when it hit me. The fucking asshole literally spat a glob of bloody spit at me!
"Don't act so fucking innocent. I don't need your fucking pity or apologies for anything.
The only thing you should be doing right now is begging me for a second chance, for me to not beat some fucking sense into you after you get me out of here.
" Taking some deep breaths, he let out a deranged chuckle that border lined a laugh.
"And the only damn apology that should be leaving your mouth is how sorry you are for not listening to me in the first place!
Because just like always, I was fucking right! "
"I can't believe it." I scoffed in slight disbelief.
Falling back onto my ass, I laughed at myself as I shook my head in my hands. "God." Running my hands down my face, I groaned deeply. "Why did I think for a second that you'd be different? That maybe you actually changed."
I felt so fucking pathetic.
After all of this, after having his hands reduced to nubs, he was still a rat ass bastard. James was still the person I ran away from nearly two years ago.
"It's because you are weak and can't help but love me even after all this shit," James stated coldly.
Surprising even myself, I shot back without missing a beat, "But did you ever love me?"
The eerie silence and his cold stare void of all emotions as his face twisted with utter shock was more than enough of an answer.
"Did. You. Ever. Love. Me." The words came slow, deliberate, each syllable cracking the air like a whip to make sure they went across clearly the first time around. My voice trembled, but not with weakness—with fury.
"Of course I fucking love you!" he shot back, his tone laced with indignation, not tenderness.
Not even a flicker of regret. "Would I have married you if I didn't? Had a kid with you?
Built a home with you?" His words were sharp, biting, but they didn't wound me like they used to.
Not anymore. Then came the final blow. "You're being fucking ridiculous. Do you hear yourself?"
A strange calm washed over me, a quiet clarity that only comes in the eye of a storm. A smile curled on my lips—not from happiness, but from bitter understanding. "No," I whispered, my head shaking slowly as I let out a dry, humorless laugh. "You did all of that for you."
How did I not see any of this before?
"You didn't marry me because you loved me," I said, my voice breaking but steady enough to cut through his silence.
"You married me because it fit the story everyone spun about us.
The perfect high school sweethearts. You couldn't bear the thought of being the loser who let the ‘golden one' get away.
That's what it was about, wasn't it? Winning.
Keeping me so no one else could." My lips trembled, but my words kept coming, sharp and unrelenting.
"You couldn't let me have anything in my life—not a shred of happiness that didn't revolve around you.
Not a dream. Not a single goddamn piece of myself. "
I stood, wiping the stray tears off my face with one hand, and his spit—the last piece of him I would ever let linger—off with the other.
My chest heaved as I fought to steady the storm building in me.
"You couldn't let me outshine you. You had to be ‘the man,' the one everyone admired.
And I let you. I let you," I spat, my voice rising with years of pent-up fury.
"Ever since we got hitched right out of high school, you've done nothing but belittle me.
Tear me down piece by piece until there was nothing left of the girl I used to be. "
My laugh was bitter, sharp like broken glass.
"I dropped out of college because of you.
Because you convinced me—no, you made me believe—I wasn't cut out for it.
That I was too stupid for pharmacy, for any degree.
I gave up my dreams for you! And you—you fed me that bullshit about how life as a housewife was the right choice.
The only choice. And when I fought back, when I tried to hold on to even a sliver of myself, you got meaner, crueler.
Until I gave in. Until I believed the lie and made it my truth. "
I paused, my breath coming in short gasps as I stared at him—really stared at him—for the first time. He didn't look like the towering, intimidating figure I had once seen. He looked small. Pathetic. Weak.
"What moments we had—no matter how sweet, no matter how deep—they were never for me," I said, my voice softer now but laced with a newfound strength.
"They were for you. To feed your ego, to make your perfect little life shine brighter, to keep you on that pedestal you built for yourself.
Maybe some of it was real, maybe there were blips of truth in the mess of it all.
But looking back now…" I shook my head, the realization cutting through me like a blade.
"You never did anything for me. It was always for you. "
The weight I had carried for years lifted as I spoke those words. I wasn't asking for his understanding. I wasn't looking for an apology. I was reclaiming the pieces of myself he had stolen, one broken shard at a time.
"You know," I began, my voice soft but laced with an edge sharp enough to slice through his fragile pride, "if I had asked Adam the same question, he wouldn't have hesitated.
Not for a second. Not for a single, goddamn nanosecond.
" I pushed the stray hair out of my face, a serene smile tugging at my lips as I let the words linger, as if savoring the thought of a love that didn't need to be begged for.
"Adam would've dropped to his knees, professed his undying love for me without an ounce of doubt, kissed my feet, and showered me with a passion so raw it'd take my breath away. "
I let the moment hang in the air, watching the flicker of something—rage, jealousy, fear—pass through James's eyes. It didn't matter anymore. Not to me.
"Adam would give me the world if I asked him to," I continued, my voice steady and filled with a newfound conviction.
"He'd move heaven and earth, not because he wants to prove something, but because he loves me.
I see it in the way he looks at me—every single time.
It's in his actions, in the little things he does, in the way he makes me feel like I'm the only person in the universe. "
I inhaled deeply, letting the words settle in my chest like armor.
Lifting my chin, I looked James square in the eyes, my gaze unflinching.
"You never cared for me. And shame on me for not seeing it sooner.
Shame on me for believing in the facade, for making excuses for you, for convincing myself you were enough when you never even tried to be. "
The realization hit like a tidal wave, crashing into me with both pain and clarity.
"Even after everything—after finding love with Adam, after finally knowing what it feels like to be cherished—I was about to come back to you.
To this. To all of it." My voice broke on the last word, not from weakness, but from the sheer weight of letting it go.
No more, though. No more hurting over James and what we had.
It stops today.
"I don't wish you death after everything, but everything you have coming to you is all deserved."
This was truly goodbye.
Not only was it goodbye to James, my soon-to-be dead husband, but farewell to my old life forever.
Goodbye to Elisabella Stone, and hello to the future Missus Eliza Santini.