34. Adam
Adam
To say the next day was awkward would be a severe understatement. We'd both gone to bed the night prior in silence and coldness, and neither of us uttered a single word to each other thus far.
I didn't dare utter a single word to her as I followed her after breakfast. It broke my heart how she shoved me away in bed this morning, as if I was some diseased person—an unworthy bastard.
Ideally, the smart thing to do was actually give her space, but my nerves wouldn't be at ease unless I physically saw her with my own eyes. So, I followed her at a distance throughout nearly the whole morning, not even bothering to keep myself hidden because there was no point.
Much to my surprise—but not—she made her way to James after wandering for a while.
I stopped the guards before they could stop her from going through, and I stood right outside the door while she had her moment with James.
Was it wise to let her go in there with her abusive ex?
No, probably not, but I also knew she needed this.
I tried not to listen into their private conversation, but my curiosity got the best of me. The more I listened to Eliza go off, the prouder I became of my blooming rose.
When she left the room, I let her go off on her own to reflect on my own life with her thus far. I didn't bother with finding her until it was close to lunch.
Finding her wasn't hard, but the spot where I found her was a little tense.
The words pinched at my tongue. " Mia rosa ." I didn't feel worthy to say them. "Darling, it's almost lunch."
Not wanting to encroach on her space, I hung back a few feet from her on the upper deck.
I kept my beady eyes trained on her backside as she stood there at the spot where James was last night.
The whole deck was spotless now, not a drop of blood or a single hair to be found.
Honestly, no one would ever know or guess a torture session was held here hours prior.
"Are you really going to kill him?" There was a light tremble in her small voice, and I couldn't help but wrap my arms around her to comfort her.
Carefully, I approached her with slow steps until I was right behind her. "Yes." I wouldn't lie to her, not anymore, not ever again. "He will be disposed of by the end of day seven. Shark food." Again, that last part could've been left off, but it slipped before I could help it.
It was subtle, but she did lean into me.
"Is it bad that I don't feel bad? I want to feel wrong about it all so badly, but I can't find it within myself to care enough.
I mean, I shouldn't be this fine with the fact of him dying or the fact that you are torturing and killing him.
" Her head fell back, and her torn, glassy eyes looked up at me. "Am I really that fucked up?"
Gently, I turned her around and cupped her face with one hand, stroking her cheek with my thumb.
"No, darling, no. You are not fucked up.
You've just gotten to the point of not caring for him because he's given you nothing of him to care about.
You are done with him and genuinely don't care about him anymore.
That is all," I told her with a firm smile.
Obviously, she wasn't screwed up to me, but I was a little biased. For me, to consider someone fucked up would be rather hypocritical considering things. On the other hand, if I thought they were screwed up, then they might actually be very wrong.
Shaking myself out of my head, I zoned back in on my Eliza to recenter myself. Taking in a deep breath, I leaned down and kissed her chastely. "No more about James from now on, alright?" It wouldn't do her any good to fester on the bad shit that would be at the bottom of the ocean soon.
With a reluctant smile, she agreed with a nod before looking off into the distance. "You're not going to have our children take over your empire, are you?" she asked in a worried voice, glancing at me slightly.
Assuring her with the most confident smile I could muster, I shook my head. "No, never. Asher and any of our other children will never know about my dark life, and I swear that to you." And I was a man of my word, as she should know by now.
Then, with a controlled breath, I got down on my knees with her hands held before her. "I swear, I will never bring any of it home—"
Shockingly, Eliza's hand slapped over my mouth, stopping me.
"No. I don't want to hear any of it. I know I told you my conditions last night, and I have to admit, they were said in the moment.
" Her tongue swept across her lips, and she looked at me apologetically.
"You need to do what you need to do, and I shouldn't get in the way of that.
I shouldn't be stomping all over your career with such demands, and I apologize for that. "
With a small smile, she ran her fingers through the top of my hair.
"All I want you to swear to me is that you will never involve the children, never bring anything home unless you have to, and never talk about anything to me unless I ask.
And by bringing things home, I mean bodies.
I don't know all you do in your office, and I don't care if it's desk work for your legal business or mafia business, but don't you dare bring anything violent or bloody home. "
"I swear, all of it, I swear to it. I agree and swear." I didn't hesitate one bit to agree to all she said. I mean, she wasn't unreasonable with her demands, so I couldn't really argue fairly with her.
Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out the ring she gave back to me last night, holding it out to her. "So, does that mean you'll wear this again?" I asked, holding my hope in with my breath as I stared up at her with a pounding heart.
Giggling, she held her left hand out for me. "Yes, until my finger gets too swollen throughout the next nine months."
Talk about a change of subject?
"Huh?" All I could do was stare up at her with a stupid smile and confused face.
Yeah, call me stupid because it did not click at all for me at that moment.
Grinning at me cheekily, she slipped her finger into the ring before reaching down and pinching my cheek. "And the wedding is definitely not happening until next year because I refuse to walk down the aisle with a belly."
Not knowing what to say or how to respond, I stared at her with a dumbfounded face as I stood up. "W-what are you saying, darling?" Was it what I thought it was? Or did I overthink because of my want to have a child with her?
Taking my hand, Eliza placed it against her soft belly. "And you have to promise to be on nightly diaper duty and feedings." She added with a blushing smile.
Breaking out in a gleeful grin, I could hear my shout of joy boom through the air as I swung Eliza around in my arms. Attacking her with laughing kissing, I didn't relent this time when she started smacking my chest and shoulders.
"Oh my God, really!? You mean it!? You're sure!
?" It was so hard to contain my excitement, but could you blame me?
Eliza's mouth moved, but nothing beyond a faint and squeaky 'yes' came out of her nodding head.
She kept trying to get it out of her, but her words kept coming out all high-pitched and incomprehensible because of her excitement.
I think she eventually gave up when it was clear she couldn't get it through because she just grabbed my face and laid a big kiss on me.
"I'm getting you all snotty and teary. I'm so sorry.
" She chuckled through her sobs and kisses.
Dismissing her with a chuckle and shake of my head, I continued to press kisses against her when she tried to pull away.
"They're happy tears, so don't apologize.
" At least, I hoped they were tears of joy.
We were having a completely different conversation before this, and I hoped this wasn't spill-over from it.
Smiling happily at her, I held her still in the air for a moment, admiring how the sun shined down on her and outlined her image perfectly.
"When did you find out? Why didn't you tell me sooner?
Why didn't you tell me about the doctor's appointment?
" My curiosity quickly turned sour because I didn't like the thought of missing out on her appointments regarding our baby.
"Yesterday, I got the confirmation from the doctor.
" She smiled at me apologetically, stroking my cheek lightly with the pad of her thumb.
"And I didn't have a doctor's appointment for this really.
I only went in because of that cold last month, and before they could give me any medication, they wanted to double-check.
So, they ran a pregnancy test even though I was on the patch, and it came back positive. "
Patting my shoulder, she flickered her eyes at the ground a few times before straight-up pointing. Getting the hint, I set her down with a sheepish chuckle.
Loosely, she draped her arms around my waist, leaning against me.
"I had to have a few follow-up labs to have my levels checked, and things weren't clear one way or another for a while until the most recent ones where there was a steady increase and clear answer.
" Her lips pressed into a thin line, frowning a little.
"I might be jumping the gun a bit by telling you right now before my first visit with the OB to actually confirm things with an ultrasound, but I have a good feeling, and since we're already on the boat and putting everything out in the open, I figured I should just tell you now rather than when we get back. "
Cradling her protectively in my arms, I kissed the top of her head. "If things don't work out how we want, then we can always try again later after more planning."
As elated as I was with the news, we weren't exactly prepared for a child right now with all the craziness happening in our lives.
Not saying I didn't want our child, but some more time to fully talk things through with Eliza and mentally prepare myself more.
But, no matter, I'd take things as they come.
Sighing heavily, Eliza buried herself further into me. "It's just so much happening at once…" I hated how heavy her voice sounded. "Another baby on top of everything…"
Leaning away a little, I looked down at her with an affirming smile.
"Hey, we will figure everything out together, one step at a time," I told her in a calm voice.
"One step at a time, that's how we have to take things.
No point in sprinting forward for no reason when we can walk and pace ourselves.
Let's just focus on enjoying the next few days to ourselves, then the visit with the doctor, and after the results of the visit, we will plan for the next.
" I had to pace her for both our sakes. "So, breathe for me, alright? "
Eliza nodded in response while breathing deeply. "Sorry…" Her meek apology made me frown a little. "Just kind of overwhelmed." She admitted with a heavy sigh.
Rubbing the back of her head, I dismissed her with a chuckle and shake of my head. "Well, don't think about it too much. Yes, I know it's a lot in a short amount of time, but we'll make it. We'll handle it together, one step at a time." I reminded her with a lopsided smile and kiss to her temple.
Flicking her chin, I poked at her face until she cracked a smile. "Now, lunch, what would my little rose like? Or what does our little rosebud want?"
Eliza's shoulders shook softly with her chuckle before her lips pursed in thought for a moment.
"I'm down for anything really right now.
I have no cravings or aversions, but maybe something on the lighter end?
" Her hopeful eyes peered up at me as she rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet.
"And uhh, can we actually do something while we're out here?
I mean, it's nice to be on a yacht and all, but uhh I kinda don't want to just be floating out here for seven days with nothing to do. "
Unable to help myself, I leaned down and nuzzled my face into her neck. "Well, you got me to do." I teased, grinning at her cheekily.
Her eyes rolled so hard that I was afraid they wouldn't come back around.
"You are so lucky I love you still." She joked with a teasing chuckle.
"Even if you are some mafia boss." Her face twisted a bit as she looked at me as if she struggled a little with her own thoughts.
"God, that's going to take a while to get used to. "
Swaying her playfully, I nipped at her neck.
"Thought girls dig the bad boy or crime lord image.
" I prodded a little with a joke, hoping to make light of my newfound secret.
"A man who isn't afraid to get dirty and bloody to provide for his family, to keep his woman safe.
That powerful man who lives in a gray-and-black zone, willing to do anything and everything at his woman's whims." I whispered darkly with a teasing brush of my lips against the shell of her ear.
"The whole world at your fingertips through me. "
The way her body shivered in my arms as her breath hitched brought a twisted smirk to my lips. A part of her was enjoying what came out of my mouth, and she may deny it, but the signs were clear to me.
It's time for your thorns to come out, my little rose.