10. Rebecca
REBECCA
R ebecca sat in her apartment the night after the gala, staring out of her large, glass windows at the darkened cityscape.
Her hands were wrapped around a glass of whiskey, the sharp burn of it doing little to dull the fire that had been simmering inside her since she left the gala.
She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Lillian—how beautiful she looked, how she’d felt under her hands, and, most of all, how much she had wanted her.
The way Lillian had looked in that pale blue gown had taken Rebecca completely by surprise.
She had known Lillian was attractive, had felt the pull between them for months, but seeing her like that, outside of the hospital, in a setting where they weren’t confined by their professional roles—just like that first time in the hotel- it had been different.
There was something so powerful about seeing Lillian look so radiant, so confident, in front of all those people, none of whom knew what she really was to Rebecca.
And then there had been Benji. Lillian had been on his arm all night, smiling and laughing with him, and it had sparked something dark and ugly in Rebecca: jealousy.
She had no claim to Lillian. She had never wanted to make things emotional between them.
But the sight of Lillian with someone else, someone who didn’t know the way her body responded to Rebecca’s touch, had made her stomach twist.
She took a slow sip of her drink, feeling the familiar burn slide down her throat as she replayed the scene from the bathroom in her head.
The way Lillian had looked at her—wide-eyed, breathless, wanting —and the way Rebecca had left her hanging, teased her, made her wait.
She’d known it would have an effect on Lillian, walking around the gala with no panties, thinking about what had just happened in that small, dimly lit bathroom.
Think of me .
The words had slipped out of her mouth without her even thinking about them, but they had felt right. She wanted Lillian to think about her, to be consumed by thoughts of her just as much as Rebecca had been consumed by thoughts of Lillian all night.
But now, as she sat in her quiet apartment, the silence pressing in on her, Rebecca felt the weight of something deeper. Something she had been trying to suppress for weeks now.
She wanted more.
Not just the late-night rendezvous, not just the physical connection that kept pulling them together.
She wanted to know Lillian outside of the hospital, outside of their stolen moments.
She wanted to see her laugh, hear her thoughts, and, terrifyingly enough, she wanted to let her in.
But Rebecca wasn’t ready for that. She wasn’t sure she’d ever be ready for that.
Her phone buzzed on the coffee table, pulling her from her thoughts. She glanced at the screen, her heart giving a quick, involuntary lurch when she saw Lillian’s name. She had half-expected Lillian to text her after the gala, but she hadn’t. Not until now.
The message was simple, but it sent a wave of heat coursing through her.
I can’t stop thinking about you.
Rebecca stared at the words for a long moment, her thumb hovering over the screen as she debated how to respond.
She could feel the tension rising in her again, the same tension that had simmered between them at the gala.
She had told herself she would keep this purely physical, keep Lillian at a distance, but every time they were together, that distance closed bit by bit.
She typed out a reply, then deleted it. Then another, and deleted that too. She was losing control of this—of herself—and it terrified her.
Before she could respond, her phone buzzed again, this time with a message from Jackson, her assistant at the hospital. Work. Rebecca welcomed the distraction. She opened the message and quickly skimmed the details of the next day’s surgeries.
"Dr. Lang," Jackson’s text began, formal as always, "I’ve confirmed all your appointments for tomorrow. Two back-to-back surgeries in the morning, and the afternoon is reserved for a consult with Dr. Catherine Harrington’s team."
Rebecca let out a small sigh. Of course, the Harringtons. Lillian would probably be there. She could already feel the tension tightening in her chest at the thought of seeing her in the hospital, acting as if nothing had happened, as if they weren’t tangled in this complicated web of desire.
She fired off a quick reply to Jackson, thanking him for the updates and mentally preparing herself for the next day. Maybe work would help her refocus. Maybe.
The next morning, Rebecca was back in her element.
She had scrubbed in for two complex surgeries, both of which required every ounce of her attention and skill.
The OR was her sanctuary, the one place where everything else melted away.
Her hands moved with precision, her mind sharp and clear, and for a few blissful hours, she could forget about everything outside of these walls.
But the moment the surgeries were over and she stepped out of the OR, reality came crashing back. She had a consult scheduled with Dr. Catherine Harrington’s team, and Lillian would be there. She knew it.
Jackson handed her a file as they walked toward the conference room, his voice calm and professional as he ran through the details of the consult.
"Dr. Harrington has requested your input on a particularly challenging case involving a young cardiothoracic patient," Jackson said, his tone as cool and composed as ever. "She’s bringing her intern with her for observation."
Rebecca nodded, already knowing who the intern was. She could feel the familiar tightness in her chest building as they approached the conference room. She wasn’t sure how she would handle seeing Lillian again so soon after the gala, but she didn’t have much choice.
When she entered the room, Catherine Harrington was already there, along with a few other surgeons from her team. And there, standing next to Catherine, was Lillian.
Rebecca’s heart gave a quick, involuntary jolt at the sight of her.
Lillian looked just as composed as ever in her scrubs, her blonde hair tied back in a neat ponytail, but Rebecca could see the flicker of something in her eyes—a flash of heat and tension that mirrored Rebecca’s own feelings.
For a brief moment, their gazes met across the room, and the air seemed to crackle with unspoken tension.
But then Catherine began speaking, her voice cutting through the silence, pulling Rebecca back into the present.
"Dr. Lang." Catherine greeted her with a nod. "Thank you for consulting on this case. It’s a particularly delicate situation, and I thought your expertise would be invaluable."
Rebecca forced herself to focus, pushing aside the swirling emotions as she listened to Catherine explain the details of the case. She nodded along, offering her input where necessary, but all the while, she could feel Lillian’s presence like a physical weight in the room.
As the meeting went on, Rebecca couldn’t help but steal glances at Lillian. She could see the way Lillian’s eyes occasionally flicked toward her, the way she shifted slightly in her seat, as if the tension between them was just as unbearable for her as it was for Rebecca.
When the meeting finally ended, the other surgeons filed out of the room, leaving just Rebecca and Lillian. Catherine had already left, and Jackson was talking to another assistant in the hallway, giving them a brief moment of privacy.
For a long moment, neither of them spoke. The silence between them was heavy, charged with the memory of the gala, of what had happened in that bathroom. Rebecca could feel her heart pounding in her chest, her hands itching to reach out, to touch Lillian, to close the distance between them.
But she couldn’t. Not here. Not now.
Lillian shifted slightly, her gaze locking onto Rebecca’s, and for a moment, it felt like the air had been sucked out of the room.
"I thought you were avoiding me," Lillian finally said, her voice soft but edged with something sharper. "Ever since the gala…"
Rebecca swallowed hard, her throat tight. She didn’t know what to say. She had been avoiding Lillian, trying to keep her distance, trying to maintain control. But every time she saw her, every time they were in the same room, that control slipped further away.
"I wasn’t," Rebecca lied, her voice sounding hollow even to her own ears. "I’ve just been busy."
Lillian gave her a knowing look, one eyebrow arching slightly. "Busy?"
Rebecca felt a flicker of frustration rise up in her, but she tamped it down. She couldn’t let this get out of hand. She had to keep her walls up and keep Lillian at arm’s length. But the way Lillian was looking at her, the heat in her eyes, was making it damn near impossible.
"Lillian…," Rebecca began, her voice low, almost a warning. "This is complicated."
Lillian took a step closer, her voice softening but still laced with that same tension. "It doesn’t have to be."
Rebecca’s pulse quickened. Lillian was right there, just a few feet away, and the temptation to close that distance, to pull her into her arms and forget everything else, was overwhelming.
But she couldn’t. Not here. Not now.
"I can’t," Rebecca said, her voice barely a whisper.
Lillian’s gaze held hers for a long, torturous moment, and then she nodded, her expression a mix of frustration and understanding. "Then I guess I’ll just keep thinking about you."
The words sent a shock of heat through Rebecca, but before she could respond, Lillian turned and walked out of the room, leaving Rebecca standing there, her heart racing and her control slipping further and further away.
Later that evening, back in her apartment, Rebecca sat at her kitchen table, her phone in her hand, staring at the message she had typed out for Lillian but hadn’t yet sent.
I can’t stop thinking about you either.
Her thumb hovered over the send button, but she hesitated, her mind racing. She wanted to send it. She wanted to see Lillian again, to be with her, to let herself feel everything she had been trying so hard to suppress.
But she couldn’t. She wasn’t ready.
With a frustrated sigh, Rebecca deleted the message, setting her phone down on the table with a little more force than necessary.
This was getting out of control. She was losing herself in this, in Lillian, and she didn’t know how to stop it.
But deep down, she wasn’t sure she even wanted to.
The next few days passed in a blur of surgeries and consultations, but no matter how busy she kept herself, Lillian was always there, in the back of Rebecca’s mind. Every time she passed her in the hallway, every time their eyes met across a room, that same tension flared up, hot and undeniable.
Rebecca knew she couldn’t keep avoiding it forever. Something had to give.
And when it did, she had no idea how she would handle it.
Rebecca sat back in her chair, the soft light of the evening casting long shadows across her apartment.
Her phone lay on the table in front of her, the screen dimming as she stared at it, debating with herself for the hundredth time.
She had deleted the message, rewritten it, and then deleted it again. Over and over.
I can’t stop thinking about you.
The words played on a loop in her mind, mocking her attempts at control.
She had tried to push Lillian out of her thoughts, tried to focus on her work, tried to keep the boundaries she had set in place.
But every time she thought of Lillian, of the way her body had felt under her hands, of the heat in her eyes when they were alone, the walls she had so carefully constructed started to crack.
Rebecca exhaled slowly, her fingers hovering over the keyboard again. She couldn’t do this. She wasn’t supposed to feel this way. But the truth gnawed at her, relentless and insistent.
Lillian was more than just a fleeting desire. She had gotten under Rebecca’s skin in a way that no one else ever had. And no matter how much she tried to fight it, Rebecca couldn’t ignore the pull any longer.
She opened the text again, her fingers shaking slightly as she typed out the words: I can’t stop thinking about you either.
Rebecca stared at the message, her heart pounding in her chest. It was dangerous. Reckless. But it was the truth. And for the first time in a long time, she wasn’t going to run from it.
With one last steadying breath, Rebecca hit send.
As the message disappeared into the ether, Rebecca felt a rush of something that was both terrifying and exhilarating. She had crossed a line, one she wasn’t sure she could ever go back from.
But in that moment, she didn’t care.
Because all she could think about was Lillian.
And what came next.