11. Lillian
LILLIAN
L illian lay sprawled on her couch, her apartment dimly lit by the soft glow of the city lights outside her window.
She had kicked off her shoes, her feet dangling over the edge of the couch as she absentmindedly scrolled through her phone, trying to relax after another long day at the hospital. But her mind was far from relaxed.
It had been a few days since the gala, and she hadn’t heard a word from Rebecca since.
Lillian had spent those days going over their brief, charged encounter in the bathroom, replaying the way Rebecca had teased her, how her lips had felt against her skin.
The heat of Rebecca’s touch still lingered in her mind, but so did the coldness.
The way she had walked away, leaving Lillian flustered and aching.
Lillian had promised herself that she wouldn’t let Rebecca get too deep under her skin. She had sworn not to let herself be hurt by someone so emotionally unavailable, someone who pushed her away just as much as she pulled her in. But that was easier said than done.
The pull Rebecca had on her was too strong, too undeniable.
Just as she was beginning to sink deeper into her thoughts, her phone buzzed against her palm. Lillian’s heart skipped a beat when she saw the message pop up on her screen:
I can’t stop thinking about you either.
Lillian sat up, staring at the text, her heart racing.
She wasn’t sure what she had been expecting from Rebecca, but this—this simple admission—made something twist in her chest. She read the message over and over, trying to decipher the layers of meaning behind it.
Was this Rebecca finally opening up and letting her guard down?
Or was it just another fleeting moment of vulnerability before she pulled away again?
Lillian’s mind raced with possibilities.
She wanted to believe that Rebecca was ready for more, that maybe this time things would be different.
But there was still a nagging doubt in the back of her mind, a fear that Rebecca’s coldness would return as soon as they were back at the hospital, where the professional lines were drawn so clearly between them.
Her thumb hovered over the screen, unsure of how to respond.
She could play it cool, keep things casual, but part of her was tired of playing games.
Part of her wanted more—needed more—from Rebecca.
If this relationship was going to go anywhere, she needed to know if Rebecca was willing to step out of the shadows with her.
Finally, she typed out a message, her fingers trembling slightly as she hit send:
"What now?"
Lillian set the phone down on her coffee table, her heart still pounding as she waited for a reply.
The minutes dragged on, and she found herself checking the screen every few seconds, anxiety bubbling in her chest. Maybe Rebecca had said all she wanted to say.
Maybe this would go nowhere, just like all the other times when things between them had started to feel real, only for Rebecca to pull away again.
Then, her phone buzzed. Lillian snatched it up, her pulse quickening.
Can’t we just meet?
Lillian’s breath caught in her throat. She could feel the tension, the need in those simple words, but there was also something missing. Meet ? Was that all Rebecca wanted—another late-night encounter, another moment where they could be physical but nothing more?
No. Not this time.
Lillian’s fingers flew over the keyboard as she typed a response, a decision forming in her mind.
A date, Rebecca. A real one.
She hit send before she could second-guess herself, her stomach flipping with nerves. This was it. She was tired of the games, tired of feeling like their relationship only existed in the shadows. If Rebecca wanted her, she would have to show it. No more hiding.
The next day at the hospital, Lillian ran into Benji during one of her rare breaks between rounds. He spotted her across the hallway and waved, his easy grin lighting up his face as he jogged over.
"Hey, you," he said, playfully nudging her shoulder. "You look like you’ve got something on your mind. What’s up?"
Lillian smiled, grateful for Benji’s presence. He had been her anchor in the chaos of the hospital, always knowing how to lighten the mood. But today, she wasn’t in the mood for jokes.
"Do I really look that distracted?" she asked, leaning back against the wall.
Benji gave her a once-over, raising an eyebrow. "I know that look. It’s the ‘I’m thinking about someone, but I don’t know if I should tell them what I’m thinking’ look."
Lillian sighed, glancing around to make sure no one was listening before lowering her voice. "It’s Rebecca Lang.”
Benji’s playful expression softened, his tone becoming more serious. "Ah. Dr. Ice Queen herself. What’s she done this time?"
Lillian hesitated, unsure of how much she wanted to say. She had never confided in Benji about the full extent of her relationship with Rebecca. He knew they had some sort of connection, but he didn’t know about the late-night meetings, the secret touches, or the unspoken tension between them.
"I don’t know what to do," she admitted, running a hand through her hair. "She sent me this message last night—just...something that felt like a step forward. But I don’t know if I can keep doing this. I feel like I’m always waiting for her to push me away again."
Benji studied her for a moment, his usual teasing demeanor gone. "Lils, you know I’ve got your back no matter what, but are you sure this is worth it? I mean, I know Rebecca’s hot and all, but if she’s messing with your head?—"
"It’s not just that," Lillian interrupted, shaking her head. "I mean, yeah, she’s hard to read, but I think there’s something more to her. Something she’s afraid to show. I just...I don’t know how long I can wait for her to open up."
Benji crossed his arms, leaning against the wall beside her. "So what are you going to do?"
Lillian bit her lip, glancing down at her phone. "I asked her out. On a real date. No more hiding, no more sneaking around. If she wants this to work, she has to show me she’s willing to be with me out in the open."
Benji let out a low whistle. "Damn. That’s bold. You sure she’ll go for it?"
"I don’t know," Lillian said honestly. "But I need to know if she’s willing to meet me halfway."
Benji clapped her on the shoulder, his grin returning. "Well, if anyone can melt the Ice Queen’s heart, it’s you. And if she says no, just know I’m always here to take you out for tequila shots and nachos."
Lillian laughed, feeling some of the tension lift from her chest. "Thanks, Benji. I’ll let you know how it goes."
That evening, after her shift, Lillian sat on the edge of her bed, staring at her phone.
No reply from Rebecca yet. Her heart pounded in her chest, nerves twisting in her stomach.
She had laid it all out there and asked for more than just another secret encounter. And now, all she could do was wait.
She was about to set her phone down when it buzzed. Rebecca.
Lillian opened the message, her heart in her throat.
Okay. A date.
Lillian exhaled, a smile tugging at her lips. Relief washed over her, mixed with anticipation. This was it. The first step toward something real.
She quickly typed a response.
Friday night. I’ll pick the place.
As she hit send, Lillian couldn’t help but feel a spark of excitement. It wasn’t going to be easy, but for the first time in a long time, she felt like they were moving in the right direction.
And for now, that was enough.
Friday started with promise. Lillian woke up with a sense of excitement buzzing beneath her skin.
She had been looking forward to this day all week—her first real date with Rebecca, the chance to finally break free from the secrecy and formality that had defined their relationship for so long.
The thought of seeing Rebecca outside the hospital, away from the weight of their professional lives, made her heart race in anticipation.
She had spent Thursday night planning. She found the perfect restaurant, a cozy little place tucked away in a quiet neighborhood, where they could have privacy and just..
.be. It wasn’t anything fancy, just somewhere with good food and a low-key atmosphere.
Something simple and real, exactly what they needed.
Lillian had even picked out a dress, a soft navy number that wasn’t too formal but still felt like she’d made an effort.
But, as things often went in their world, Friday quickly spiraled into chaos.
The day started with back-to-back rounds, and from the moment she stepped foot into the hospital, everything seemed to go wrong.
Her pager never stopped buzzing—patients had complications, surgeries ran longer than expected, and just when she thought she might catch a break, one of her colleagues needed her help with a particularly difficult case.
Lillian had been in the OR for hours, the clock ticking well past 7:30 p.m. by the time she finally peeled off her gloves, her body aching from the stress and exhaustion.
She glanced at her watch, her heart sinking as she realized how late it had gotten.
There was no way she would make their original dinner reservation.
She wiped the sweat from her brow, trying to push down the frustration bubbling up inside her. She had really wanted this night to be perfect. Their first real date. Something that wasn’t rushed or hidden. But now, everything was falling apart.
Rebecca was having a day like hers too. Lillian had caught a glimpse of her earlier, storming down one of the hallways with a determined look on her face, speaking quickly into her phone.
Rebecca had her game face on, all business, and Lillian could tell she was dealing with just as much chaos as she was.