23. Ashley
23
ASHLEY
I was shocked to learn the board hadn't fired me instantly. When Jack left my apartment and left me with the note that he was going to go look into things, I felt a little better. I knew Jack couldn't stop the full force of the law if they suspected me, but just the idea that he was fighting for me was enough, especially after he told me he loved me. I could have sworn I heard him saying he wanted a family too, but I was so sleepy, I probably dreamed that.
Now I sat in a chair in the corridor outside the boardroom where board members were shouting at each other. I couldn't make out what any of them were saying, but I heard their voices and knew they were angry. They had every right to be furious. Someone in their hospital was murdering patients and they just wanted it to stop so their other patients felt safe again. The hospital would lose credibility and trust in the city.
It made me shudder to think how Jack could have actually gone down for this if that other patient hadn't turned up dead and the cases been linked. Whoever was doing it was very smart, like Summa Cum Laude smart. Someone like Farah Blake, who had openly mentioned how patients would be better off dead than suffering, even by their own choice. That comment had sealed the deal for me, and if the board asked me about any part of this, I had no problem pointing the finger directly at her.
"Dr. Sutton, we'd like to speak with you now.” A woman, petite with dark brown, curly hair, stood in the open doorway. She looked flustered and tense. I would be too if I'd had to sit in a room with angry, shouting board members.
I stood and followed her into the room. It was just as tense as I imagined. The air was thick with emotion I saw scrawled across almost every face in this room. The board chairman, Dr. Fisher, was the only one who looked calm, and I imagined that was why he had the job of chairman. The dean of medicine sat to his right and she looked furious, but I didn't see why they'd be going at each other over this. They were all on the same side—find the bad guy and lock them up.
Shutting the door behind me, I shuffled over to the table and stood at the end. There was no chair for me to sit, and no one stood when I approached, but every eye was on me. I felt like a rat in a cage being examined. Next, they'd start poking and prodding. It was enough to make my morning sickness flare up too. Nausea swirled in my gut, and I wrung my hands while I waited for someone to speak.
"Dr. Sutton, let me first say, we understand the accusations you've come under and we want you to know the board is on your side. If you need an attorney, we will present you with one." Dr. Fisher spoke with a direct certainty that made the other board members around the table squirm. They clearly did not agree with his statement but were given no choice. Jack had to have said something to them.
"Thank you. I appreciate that. You know I would never put a patient's life at risk. I could never do what people are saying I did." I hadn't spoken to any detectives yet, but I knew it would come. They'd ask me all sorts of questions. But right now, I had to deal with the board.
"That's not why you're here." Dr. Fisher sat straighter, with his hands folded on the table in front of him.
If I wasn't here about the attempted murder of my patient, the only other reason for me to be here was because they'd figured out something was going on between me and Jack. Or if Jack spoke to him already, they knew it was going on. But wouldn't Jack have just told me that he was going to speak to them? He wouldn’t have left me open to being grilled about it. Would he? Not after confessing that he loved me.
"Dr. Sutton, I'm going to be honest with you, we're all a bit confused." Dr. Fisher cocked his head and narrowed his eyes at me. "When Dr. Stewart hired you, did you inform him that you are a board-certified thoracic surgeon with a license to practice?"
I was confused too. I looked around the table at the mix of angry faces and felt my chest constrict. Jack knew I was a full-fledged doctor. The story of being an intern was only for his team members, Dr. Matthews and Dr. Blake. It was the tale we told them, similar to the ruse of being married we fed to Sam.
"Yes, he knew I was—am—board certified. He was at my welcome home party and he is personal friends with my father." I swallowed hard as I watched Dr. Fisher's face fall. Clearly, Jack had given them a different story too, not just Farah and Michael. And the noose tightened around both of our necks.
"Dr. Sutton, were you aware that as a board-certified physician, lying to hospital administration and telling them you are a fifth-year resident is grounds for termination?" I was well aware that Dr. Fisher's statement was true, but I hadn't made that confession to them. Jack handled everything, right down to signing my paperwork for me. He said he'd take care of it, and I thought that meant making sure I was protected in the event the board found out. I was obviously wrong.
"Interns make mistakes, but board-certified physicians are held to a much higher standard. Which means you're under greater scrutiny when something goes wrong. Now would you like to explain your side of the story and what happened yesterday?" He seemed like a rational man, someone who would understand that mistakes do happen. I didn't like it, but I opened my mouth and started talking.
"I, uh… I was emotional about something else. I was distracted. My nurse hadn't given Mrs. Maier her antibiotics, so I decided to do that. I went to her room, looked at her files on the computer, and pulled the meds from the drawer. I believe I double-checked the labels against her prescription on the computer and then shut the drawer. I put the drugs into her IV, and then I checked her vitals before leaving the room."
I tried to remember if anything else had happened, but my mind was blank. I was more worried about what they were going to do to Jack because I had just outed him for lying to them about my employment status. My hands shook, so I clasped them together and watched Dr. Fisher glance around at the others.
"Were there any other staff members around? Was anyone else in the room?"
I thought hard. "I did see a nurse named Naomi, but she was in the hallway outside the room, not in the room. And the only other person in the room was Mr. Maier, but he was napping." Transparency and honesty were my best chance at making this go away.
"Alright, Dr. Sutton. You may leave. Please understand that we have to remove your privilege to prescribe or administer medications while the investigation is ongoing." He sighed hard. "And you may face further consequences following this after we complete the investigation around your license status and position under Dr. Stewart."
"I understand.” I winced, but I had it coming. We were fooling around and playing with fire, and we were bound to get caught. "Just do me a favor and make sure you look at the video footage of the hallways and you'll see it wasn't me."
"You are free to go, Dr. Sutton." Dr. Fisher nodded at the door, and I got the point.
The idea of more consequences shackled itself to me and anxious thoughts swarmed as I turned and walked out of the room. What "further consequences" would they apply to me or my career? Getting a bad mark on my name right when I was just getting started wasn't a good thing. I didn't want to be fired, though I knew that was a possibility—probably more so now that I knew Jack did something dumb with my hiring paperwork. Or maybe they wouldn't punish me for that, but the police really would look at me as a suspect.
I fought the tears as I headed toward the elevators. I wished Jack were here to talk to me and just give me a hug. I had spent all this time trying to comfort him and help him through his stress over being sued. I never realized how much his presence affected me too. Just sitting next to him would stabilize me, which was what I wanted.
Halfway to the elevator, Sam walked out of the men’s restroom and nearly collided with me. I gasped in surprise and he looked up.
"Ash, how'd it go?" He ran a hand through his hair and stepped closer to me. He had no reason for being up on this floor unless he was planning to speak with the board. The thought gave me chills. He wouldn't go to them and betray me now, not when I was already in such hot water. He probably thought he was right, that my mistake had proven that Jack and my dating and working together was a bad idea.
"Uh, not good. I have some restrictions and the board is looking into the accident." I didn't know what else to call it. I hadn't done anything on purpose. I didn't think I'd even done anything accidental.
"Yeah, wow.” His face contorted with concern. "Is there anything I can do to help you? You know I still care about you."
I knew he still cared. He also likely felt horrible for the way he'd treated me years ago and only just realized what it had done to me. I'd sensed it from the minute we were reintroduced. Sam wanted me back. Unfortunately for him, some burned bridges should never be rebuilt and that was one of them. But it didn't mean he didn't care.
"Just do me a favor, Sam. Please don't tell the board about me and Jack. Things are so messed up right now, and I don’t want to pile more crap on my own shoulders." I saw the way my desperate plea darkened the storm in his eyes, but he nodded.
"I won't say anything."
With a smidge more confidence, I asked, "If you tell them you've been helping me look into the situation with the patient deaths, it will show them that I was trying to solve this case. That whoever is doing this is now trying to frame me so they don't get caught."
Sam scoffed and shook his head, then narrowed his eyes. "You're serious?" I said nothing, but I did nod. "Ashley, you've already asked me to put my career on the line and also cover up a breach in hospital policy. Now you're asking me to confess to openly breaking policy myself by giving you that code?"
The tone of his voice only proved he thought my request was out of the question. I knew it would be a risk for him, but given what was going on, it would be a slap on the wrist. They would have the evidence they needed if the police weren't already going through things themselves.
"I'm sorry. You're right." My head fell and my heart found confirmation yet again that Sam wasn't the man for me. Jack would have given his whole life for me and Sam couldn't even risk a slap on the wrist.
"I won't tell them about Jack, okay?" he said again, reminding me at least for that topic, I could trust him. When he stepped forward with his arms out, I didn't deny him the quick hug. Having anyone to anchor myself to this moment helped.
"Thanks, Sam. I appreciate that." I sighed. "Now I have to go get to work. Maybe we'll see each other at lunch."
"Maybe," he said as he pulled away, and I nodded and continued my march toward the elevators.
Maybe I'd find Jack on the way too. Maybe I'd tell him I was having his baby and we could just run away together and live on a deserted island. Maybe all of this would go away and life would be good.
Maybe…