Chapter 25 #3
“I see. He does like rescuing people when he thinks he can get away with it, much like he did Kanika. Now that he’s freed from some of his obligations, it’s a possibility.
Bring some bribes. But you’ll have to deal with his one problem.
If you can deal with that, he’ll do just about whatever you want. ”
The Devil’s gaze fell to me. “How do you feel about resetting the weave of magic so the nodes can recharge efficiently? The castle’s node isn’t the only one facing a slow death. The Fates never tended to that garden because those very nodes represented the fate they could not avoid.”
“Just spill it, Lucifer. What do you actually want me to do?” If he wanted me to play with the magical lines underneath my house again, I’d be going through the horse sale books and forcing him to buy three potential champions for me to take to low stake races before starting a proper breeding operation of my own.
“And if your answer is take my clothes off, Darlene is going to need tweezers to put you back together.”
“I am confident in your ability to comprehend when it would be beneficial to remove your clothes. Take, for example, when it’s time to slip into a nice bubble bath. I’m also confident in your ability to issue appropriate invitations to those you wish to share a bubble bath with.”
I appreciated Lucifer had an understanding of when he faced peril, and I giggled at the thought of inviting the tall, dark, and handsome into a tub with me. “All right. What do you need, seriously?”
“I need you to link all those sources of power around the world so they can draw latent energy into themselves. Right now, nodes can only draw power from nearby sources. My presence, as an example, is capable of charging a node with time. One of the facets of death can also charge nodes, although the other two tend to drain them. Azrael tends to go dormant when the nodes are incapable of sustaining him—or he returns to the high heavens until needed. The other two facets can share a node in a state of harmony, although they might slumber during the lowest points of magic in the world. If the nodes lose their dependency on magic thriving within the general populace, this might be the eternal era, where magic never again slumbers.”
Once again, I marveled at the Devil’s drive to preserve his family. “Do I have to do them all at once?”
“No, of course not—that might kill even you trying. You would start with the nodes closest to your home, link them together, and then use your magic to locate the next nearest node, weaving their lines together and forging a connection. Once you have a few nodes together, you can start fashioning the web keeping everything linked. The first few will be the hardest.”
“All right. Where is the dying node located?”
“It’s in Tennessee.”
“And how many nodes are at risk of death?”
“Most of them,” he admitted.
I crossed my eyes at the thought of having to deal with a bunch of tangled weaves and redirect the ends. However, if I identified enough nodes in the first batch, giving the ends purpose would prove simple enough. “You are so paying me for this, you.”
“Of course. What do you want?”
I eyed my groom. “How does going over the sale catalog over our date sound to you? I am thinking I will force Lucifer to purchase three excellent mares and a stud using his money to start my actual breeding program. Then I’ll pick four of the cheapest horses I can find in the catalog and attempt to create a new line of champions. ”
“You are going to be rolling in horses,” he warned.
I nodded. “Then I’ll have to permanently hire you to help me care for the grain guzzlers, and part of your pay will be room and board. It’s a good deal for you. I have a lake, and there are many dragon squeaky toys we can punt into the lake.”
Lucifer bowed his head. “It pains me how that is one of her better attempts at flirtation.”
“I’m not against helping you care for your horses, but are you going to have enough time to race, breed your horses, care for your homestead, and work for your boss?”
“I will be very sad when I have to do the work that pays all the bills for racing, breeding, and training my horses, but I should be able to manage. I’ll hire people as needed, and I’ll abuse Lucifer to help me with the paperwork. Ideally, he’ll handle all my hires and I’ll profit.”
“I could be talked into such a thing, but you’d have to be willing to go to Tennessee next week to handle the issue of his node. Ideally, you’ll link it to your node and your boss’s node and begin the network that way.”
I wrinkled my nose. “I’m going to need a copy of all the sales books for the auction along with notations on which horses should be rescued from slaughter, a stipulation that you will be plucking all the horses from slaughter and rehoming them appropriately, and that you put little stars on the horses that will be excellent foundation horses for healthier thoroughbreds. ”
The Devil made a thoughtful sound. “My counter is this: I will pick one mare who will be an excellent producer of foals from the auction, but I will find your foundation thoroughbreds from elsewhere and make certain they are eligible for the breeding associations. You have your key stallions for your improved lines already in Moon and Peach Pie. You need the excellent and healthy thoroughbreds that have been bred privately and never raced; the owners have zero idea they have potential in their herds.”
“My goal is to improve the respiratory illness problems in horses,” I informed him. “Colic is also an issue.”
“You won’t be fully accomplishing that in thoroughbreds, unfortunately.
However, you can accomplish that through a long breeding program.
I can open a section of the conservatory for these efforts, and I will place your hellish estate near the entrance to that section of the conservatory so you can monitor the breeding program.
It will help me with rehabilitation of many fucking assholes, too.
Your thoroughbred program will see some improvement, however. ”
“Some improvement is better than no improvement. You need to make certain my boss is all right with the time off, because I’ll need to use a few sick days after doing that.”
While I hadn’t gotten precisely ill, I had felt the work for days to come. I’d coped and ignored the discomfort, but I refused to put myself through that again.
Sick days would be used one way or another.
“I’ll talk to him,” Lucifer promised.
“You must also deal with finalizing my purchase of Isaac’s property and any other properties nearby I can legally annex into my homestead. I need more acres.”
“As you will be solving many of my problems, the cost of the properties and their closing fees will be my problem rather than yours, and I will issue you the appropriate bonuses to cover the taxes and all costs from the acquisitions.”
Sometimes, I truly loved the Devil. For my last trick, I pointed at Yuless. “Convince him to move into my house. I already have two dragons, an incubus, and Ashley, and I feel he would round out my acquisitions nicely.”
Yuless laughed. “I practically live at your place anyway at this rate, so I guess I can be talked into it if he’s handling any moving of items I may need.”
“I can do that. Then it’s decided. You two will go on your date, enjoy yourselves, and I’ll handle getting your horses hauled to your place.
Four days from now, we will go to Tennessee to handle the node.
And no, Yuless, I need you to stay at the homestead to keep an eye on the horses.
She is not going to like leaving those asshole cats without company, either. ”
I snickered. “You’re just mad I accepted Darlene’s advice on what to name them.”
“I’m wise enough and value your life enough I acknowledge that you were coerced into accepting their wretched names.”
When I thought about it, his point of view made sense. Once Darlene and I got started, we really got started, and it often involved several demons and devils working together to separate us. We were banned from having pizza unless there were numerous people keeping the peace.
Once the last slice was up for grabs, something snapped in our brains, and it became a battle for who got to have it.
And if someone was foolish enough to take it while we feuded, we redirected our fury long enough to deal with our mutual enemy before diving back into the fray.
“While you present a good point, I’m capable of handling your wife. ”
“I’m honestly more concerned for any building you two happen to be in when you decide to get started,” the Devil replied in a rueful tone. “I am less concerned about either one of you being severely injured than I am about the proximity damage.”
“Better plan when we have pizza, then,” I informed him in a cool tone.
“How is this my fault?”
“If you didn’t wander off and leave us unattended, thus giving us an opportunity to order pizza, there wouldn’t be any fighting. Only pizza brings out the demons within us.”
Lucifer groaned, and he bowed his head. “You could at least spare her feathers during the fight. First, she loses spots whenever she fights you, then you claim her feathers as trophies!”
I had a rather sizable collection of Darlene’s feathers in my office, and I’d begun turning them into writing quills.
I’d ruined a few learning the art, and those ones were stashed in my desk.
Whenever I worked and needed to use a paper and pen, I used one of Darlene’s feathers to feel fancy. “They are beautiful feathers, though.”
“They are, but it takes her two weeks to grow back a primary. You like targeting her primaries!”
“They make good writing implements.”
My statement felled Lucifer, who writhed on the barn floor in his death throes.
Shaking my head, I took the lead from Yuless and led the mare to her stall, giving her a kiss for putting up with such insanity before turning her loose inside and securing the door. “Come along, Yuless. For all we know, his idiocy might be contagious.”
“May the heavens forbid,” the tall, dark, and handsome muttered, following me and pausing long enough to nudge Lucifer in the side with his boot. “Try not to ruin my night, you. It’s been an age since I’ve gone on a date, and so help me, if you wreck this somehow, you will pay.”
I grinned at that. “We should make him pay anyway and call that a second date. Anyone willing to tango with the Devil deserves at least two tries proving he’s worthy of being dated.”
“How many dates do I earn if I actually bake a pie following the instructions rather than reinventing the wheel?”
“Four extra at a minimum. If you’re making the crust yourself, five.
If your pie is better than mine, that’s an instant offer of marriage.
I won’t even be too distraught if you refuse my proposal, but I really like edible pie.
The only thing better than one person capable of making excellent pie when following the instructions is two people capable of making pie when following the instructions. ”
“Anyone who knows you is aware the way to your heart is through pie.” Yuless laughed. “Hey, Lucifer? Find me a recipe that’s better than the one she used if I follow the instructions loyally.” He paused, considered the Devil, and then added, “Please.”
“You first want to use me as a squeaky toy you can kick, now you want me to find you a good pie recipe? Am I just a mule to you, Yuless?”
“Yes,” he replied. “But at least you’re likable enough for a mule.”
“Just accept you’ve lost this one, Lucifer,” I recommended. “Just be prompt about getting us where we need to go after we get changed. You know I hate being late.”