Chapter 19 #3
Tonight is the ball for Cardiana. A ball to celebrate love, and I’m ready to praise the goddess and thank her for all the love that I do have in my life.
With the morning off, I pass by the restaurant to see my brother, but it’s tricky to try to talk to him before the busy lunchtime. At least he still looks fine, healthy, and maybe even happy.
After lunch, I head with Celine and Nelly to the uniform depository, to get our gowns for the ball. I sure hope the woman doesn’t deny me one this time.
There’s already a line forming with female recruits, even though we came as soon as we could.
“Don’t worry,” Celine says. “There isn’t that much difference between the dresses.”
When it’s our turn, Nelly is the first to give her name, and she picks a lovely gown with a velvet skirt. Celine tells me to go next, and I give the attendant my name. The woman looks at her papers, then back at me. “Apologies, but you’re not on this list.”
Just like I feared. “Are you sure?”
Celine clicks her tongue. “But she’s a recruit! She’s even wearing our uniform!”
The woman shakes her head. “Orders. You might want to check with Commander Mallor.”
Oh, that’s the last thing I’ll do. My stomach knots.
“Thanks,” I say, then turn to my friends and whisper, “It’s fine. We can celebrate together later. I don’t want to cause a fuss.”
“But it’s not fair,” Celine whispers back.
I shrug. Part of me is relieved, actually. I don’t want to see Alayel all princely and handsome, pretending I don’t exist at a ball. I mean, at least this time he’d be right to ignore me, but it would still stir unpleasant memories.
“Lots of things are not fair,” I mutter.
Celine gets a pretty dress with a puffy skirt, and we walk back to our dorm. Before we reach our room, Julia and Mariana are waiting for me.
“Come with us,” Mariana says.
Is Alayel trying to get on my good side again? Does he think a dress will convince me to be his mistress? The fact that he assumes that I can be bought for so little agitates the pot of anger living inside me.
“Thank you so much,” I tell the attendants. “But I’d really prefer to get a normal dress, from the depository, and get ready on my own.”
The women look at each other, then Mariana turns to me. “I don’t think you’re allowed to do that. We’ll need to report it to our superior.”
I’m sick of these games. “Report, then. I don’t want anything from Alayel.”
She blinks. “He’s not our superior.”
Celine taps my shoulder and whispers, “Go. Didn’t you say you didn’t want to make a fuss?”
“He’ll think I owe him a favor,” I whisper back, wondering if Alayel, in his arrogance, believes that getting me a dress gives him the right to unwrap it from my body.
“Let him think what he wants.” Celine shrugs. “Don’t get yourself in trouble over something so silly.”
I suppose my friend has a good point. I turn to the women. “Fine. I’ll follow you.”
They take me to the same fancy washroom, where I keep trying to figure out who sent them.
All I get is that they were ordered by their superior, a woman named Sienna, who’s in charge of the attendants for the nobles and high officials.
I could work with that, I suppose. Either way, Alayel will have to learn that a dress won’t change my mind, even a pretty one.
I enter the bath, but this time, I don’t spend much time in the water, even if I let them wash my hair.
When I get dressed and look in the mirror, I’m forced to admit that the dress does look good.
Unlike the ones from the depository, it has some detailed black lace, and fits my body well.
I’m also wearing black gloves and a necklace with a red stone, for Cardiana.
Of course everything looks great, even if I feel uncomfortable having to wear something that Alayel sent me.
The attendants finish early, so they walk me back to my room, where I find Nelly and Celine almost ready.
Celine squeals when she sees me. “It’s so pretty!”
Nelly gives me a faint smile. “Your dress is lovely.” Unlike ours. The unsaid words ring in my ears.
“You two also look great.” Their dresses don’t have as much detail as mine, and it makes me feel guilty. “It’s not my fault I got a different dress,” I explain. “I asked to get one from the depository.”
“Don’t worry.” Celine waves a hand and grins. “We all look good, and we’ll have fun. That’s what matters.”
I smile back at her.
The ball is again at the mosaic hall, and again starts around rain time.
The main difference is that everyone’s wearing different shades of red to honor Cardiana.
There’s also a table with sweets and traditional red cakes to celebrate the occasion, mostly colored with beet juice. Even some of the stuffed bread is red.
We approach one of the tables, and, as I reach out to grab something to eat, I’m struck by an odd vision. Blood. All the food drenched in blood. There’s nothing comforting about all the red when the recruits are so close to death.
“Something wrong?” Celine asks.
I blink and think about Cardiana gracing us with love, even if I can’t shake that odd feeling. “Nothing. I think I’m hungry, that’s all.”
I make sure to grab a stuffed bread roll that’s not red, just because I’m still spooked.
“Mayara,” someone says behind me.
Not someone. I know that voice well, and he’s calling me as if we were still lovers.
I turn and see Alayel, dressed in a fine red suit, wearing a silver circlet, staring at me with cute, innocent, pleading eyes.
“Yes?” I ask, keeping my tone neutral.
He gives me that amazing smile, except that it no longer works on me. “Good to see you. And your friends, too.” He turns to Celine and Nelly. “Pleased to meet you. I’m Alayel, Prince of Dracolius. You?”
As if they didn’t know who he was. I can’t hold back my eye roll.
Nelly bows and introduces herself, while Celine gives him a guarded smile. “Celine. We’ve had classes together.”
“Indeed. It’s a pleasure to meet Mayara’s closest friends.”
I don’t know what he’s playing at and what he means to accomplish, so I don’t say anything.
He then turns to me. “Since I last spoke to you, has your opinion changed?”
“Why would it have changed, Alayel?” I ask between gritted teeth.
“I need to know.” That beseeching, sweet look again. “So nothing changed? At all?”
“Nothing changed.” I can’t even hide the annoyance in my voice.
“Good to know.” He gives me that satisfied smirk, then walks away.
How did I ever find that smirk attractive? Well, it is aesthetically pleasing, I suppose.
Once he’s far, Celine asks, “What was that?”
“I don’t know.”
Nelly watches him as he walks away. “He’s trying to win you back, Mayara.”
I huff. “I’m not so sure.”
She tilts her head. “It’s quite obvious. And the prince’s protection could save your skin. I wouldn’t throw it away.”
I see her point, but I disagree. “We’re celebrating Cardiana, and I want to believe that I’ll have the love I want.”
“That’s fair.” Despite her words, Nelly doesn’t sound convinced.
From a practical standpoint, maybe I’m not being reasonable. A prince’s mistress would have some protection, and when we’re in a place where we might have to risk our lives at any moment, it could make a difference. Still, I don’t want that.
I won’t be someone’s other woman. I won’t be someone’s secret lover. I won’t. I’d rather die single—or die soon, if it comes to that.
As thunder cracks outside, the king enters the room through the side door leading to his reserved area, where he sits on an elevated throne. The oldest princess follows him, and Alayel joins them.
Princess Ledeia looks ahead, her face impassive, except when she glances at a corner, her eyes softening for a second.
I follow her gaze, and see Marcus, dashing in a burgundy suit.
Our eyes meet, and he nods, a friendly smile on his face, which I return.
Oddly, I don’t resent him for falling in love with someone else, don’t even wish we could get back together.
We were both different people when we fell in love.
Versions of ourselves that don’t exist anymore.
All that remains are sweet memories, tucked deep within my chest.
Celine, Nelly, and I eat some more, then we find some seats at a corner, from where we observe the festivities.
The thunder calms down, and the band starts to play a tune on their string instruments.
Alayel leaves his secluded area and walks straight to me, eyes focused.
My body trembles, and I don’t even know why.
Puzzlement, perhaps. I can’t imagine what he’s about to do, but I sincerely hope he’s not about to expel me from the academy.
“A dance, please?” He extends a hand when he’s close to me, his voice loud enough for the whole room to hear him.
All eyes in the room turn to us, and the attention makes me feel awkward. Not only that, at this point, it would be impolite to refuse him.
“Nobody’s dancing yet,” I mutter.
“We’ll be the first.”
His gloved hand is still extended, so close, so far, so tempting, so foul.