Chapter 27
CHAPTER 27
J ennifer and I are quickly crowned with little plastic tiaras that read RIP Single Life across them in tiny little rhinestones.
The music is thumping, and the energy in the room is electric, and a bright pink sizzle of supernatural stars appears just as the dual bachelorette party kicks into high gear.
Beatrice Fiddlefae materializes in all of her hot pink wool coat glory. “ Oh, oh, oh, ” she muses with delight as she soaks it all in. “This is going to be fantastic! I’ve always wanted to go to a raunchy bachelorette party and I finally got my wish! Too bad I had to be dead to do it. But on the bright side, I can down all the booze I want. My liver certainly isn’t going to be worse for wear.”
I shrug her way. “Bottoms up.”
Hetty takes the stage, her silver gown shimmering under the neon lights. “All right, ladies, it’s time for some games! Let’s see who’s ready to play,” she shouts, and the crowd erupts in cheers.
Elodie hops on stage in that little red dress that looks more or less like a lace nightie. Come to think of it, I wouldn’t put it past my bestie to prance around in public while wearing lingerie.
“Game number one,” Elodie calls out. “Pin the Bow Tie on the Groom!”
The room erupts with cheers once again as Elodie pulls forth something tall with a black tablecloth draped over it, and it looks rather light.
She sets it up in front of the stage and rips off the tablecloth, only to reveal a cardboard cutout of none other than a very shirtless, very handsome Ransom Baxter.
Screams light up the room as I bury my face in my hands for a moment.
“Ransom isn’t going to be amused,” I say to no one in particular.
“Are you kidding?” Nettie bumps her shoulder to mine. “The man clearly posed for the picture. Something tells me he knew what he was getting into.”
“He did.” Tinsley offers a snide smile my way. “I’m the one who did the photoshoot.”
Even better.
The first game is a raucous version of Pin the Tail on the Donkey, but with, you guessed it, a large cardboard cutout of my shirtless groom. Instead of tails, there are bow ties, and one by one we’ll be led to the stage, blindfolded, and spun around while each woman attempts to pin the bow tie as close to the groom’s neck as possible.
Jennifer and I give it a go first. We’re laughing so hard we can hardly walk a straight line. Jennifer pins the bow tie on his knee, and I manage to pin it on his bicep.
“Well, at least he looks dapper wherever it lands,” I tease as the crowd roars with laughter.
Nettie takes her turn, pinning the bow tie on the groom’s backside. “He’s got class, wherever you put it,” she declares, earning another round of laughter.
Next up is a lively round of Never Have I Ever. The rules are simple: someone makes a statement starting with “Never have I ever,” and anyone who has done it takes a sip of their drink.
Elodie and Tinsley make sure every woman in the room has a fruity cocktail in hand. And now I see what the need was for us to have four different bartending stations.
Hetty kicks it off with a smirk, “Never have I ever skinny-dipped in the ocean.” Half the room takes a sip, including Nettie, who takes a big gulp and winks at the crowd. “And you believed me.”
The room explodes with cackles at that one.
Soon enough, it’s my turn and I think for a moment before saying, “Never have I ever been proposed to on a cruise ship.” Going with a lie seemed practical, considering everyone here will most likely need a break from the liquor at least once. Of course, Ransom’s proposal is the sweetest memory, and I take a sip, feeling the energy of the cheers that just broke out.
Jennifer laughs and takes a sip as well. “Well, not on a cruise ship, but I was proposed to on a beach.”
Beatrice appears beside me, her translucent form shimmering. “Never have I ever haunted a house,” she says and I nearly choke on my drink, trying not to laugh out loud.
The final game is both hilarious and slightly inappropriate—the Banana Challenge. The objective is to eat a dangling banana from a string without using your hands. An entire row of bananas hangs from the ceiling up on the stage and a few of us are selected to participate in the naughty challenge.
I laugh so hard watching Bess try to maneuver the banana into her mouth without touching it, her hat slightly askew.
Nettie wolfed it down like a pro. And somehow I knew she would.
When it’s my turn, I give it my best shot, managing to take a big bite while the rest of the banana swings wildly. “That was way harder than it looked!” I laugh as I wipe tears of laughter from my eyes.
Jennifer is up next, and she manages to take a bite without making a mess. “See, ladies, it’s all about technique!” she says with a grin.
“Speaking of techniques—” Elodie holds up a hand and indulges the entire room with tricks and tips session that’s enough to make a professional call girl blush.
Good gravy.
Are any of those things legal? Not that Elodie would let that stop her.
After the games, I spot Hetty at the makeshift bar ordering a drink.
“Hey, Hetty,” I call out as I approach. “Thank you for all of this. You really didn’t have to include me.”
Hetty shakes her head my way. “It was my pleasure. Besides”—she sighs past me for a moment—“this was all Lucy’s brainchild. She wanted to host it during book club, but our next book club was at my place so I suggested an impromptu cruise.”
“Well, that’s sweet that you’re able to honor Lucy’s memory in tonight’s festivities as well.”
“Oh, for sure. This is all for Lucy really. As soon as she passed away, we decided that everything was dedicated to Lucy on this trip.” She retrieves a purple cocktail from the bartender and takes a sip before thanking him.
“That’s so nice.” I bite down on my grief for the poor woman. “If there’s anything I can do, or any of the ship’s staff can do to help with honoring her, please just let us know.”
She takes another sip of her drink and shakes her head. “We’re already planning a little something back home as well. It’ll just be us. She didn’t have family.” She averts her eyes as if she were privy to what happened to that family. “Jennifer is actually putting it together. Odd since she said the words good riddance last night when we were talking about Lucy.”
I gasp at the thought. “Why in the world would she say that?”
Hetty’s face darkens slightly. “Oh, you know, typical girl drama. Lucy always had a knack for stirring the pot, especially when it came to Jennifer’s fiancé, Marcus. Lucy seemed to have some dirt on him, and Jennifer didn’t like it one bit.” Hetty cuts a glance across the room. “Lucy was doing everything in her power to get Jennifer not to go through with marrying Marcus.”
“Did she sleep with him? Is that why? She wanted him for herself?”
Hetty shakes her head. “Oh no, even Lucy had standards, although not many. She said she knew a controlling jerk when she saw one and she certainly saw one with Marcus.” She lifts her shoulders a notch. “Anyway, Jennifer is getting hitched in two weeks, and as far as I know, she’s thrilled not to have Lucy breathing down her neck about it.”
She takes off and my eyes settle across the room where Jennifer is standing by the dessert table. I watch as she scoops up a black and white cookie and heads off to a dark corner, nibbling on it and watching the room as the women dance and mingle.
It sounds to me like Jennifer wanted Lucy out of the picture.
And I think maybe it’s time to confront her about it.