Chapter 32
DANNY
“You weren’t kidding,dude. Those two are wild,” Jamie says, shaking his head. He nods a thanks when I hand him a cold beer bottle from my fridge.
“Wild is a good word for them.” I sit down next to Jamie on my couch and sip from my bottle.
“I thought Carl and Isabella were cool as hell.” Gavin downs some organic green juice drink he brought with him when he came over. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “I think it’s awesome they’re into jealousy role play. Good for them for being unashamed about what makes them happy. But really, as long as I get paid, I’m good with whatever they’re into.”
I nod and chuckle while Jamie says, “fair point.” Isabella has booked Dream Guy dates with both Jamie and Gavin after I referred them to her. I met up with them before their dates to prep them on what to expect with that couple. Since then we’ve met up a couple time for drinks.
It’s been cool hanging out with other Dream Guys, chatting and decompressing about work.
“I honest-to-god thought Carl was going to cold-clock me when he walked into the bar and saw Isabella perched on my lap,” Jamie says.
“He probably would have if you hadn’t been a date that his girlfriend paid for,” I say.
“True.” Jamie tugs at the black beanie he’s wearing and huffs out a breath. “This is why I stick to wilderness dates.”
“You don’t think you want to do another date with Isabella?” I ask.
Jamie shrugs. “Nah, I would. Just not all the time. I don’t have the patience for all that drama.”
“How about this: five Dream Guy role-play dates in a row with Isabella and Carl? Or wilderness date with the prissiest, most high maintenance woman?”
I almost spit up my sip of beer as Jamie’s face twists in agony.
“Isabella and Carl, no question,” he mutters.
“I’d be up for another role-play date with Isabella and Carl. As many times as they want.” Gavin stands up and pulls out a gel packet from the pocket of his running pants and downs it in one swallow. “It was fun. Like we were acting. And I’d gladly go on a date with a prissy girl. Show her the fun of letting loose, getting messy.”
He says it so cheerily, I laugh. This guy has got the can-do, chipper attitude of a Labradoodle puppy.
“I mean, it kind of was like acting in a play,” he says. “We were all role playing, right?”
Gavin points down at me in affirmation as he does lunges in the narrow space between my couch and the wall. God, this guy. He’s a fitness freak to the max. I’ve never seen him eat anything other than some health food supplement or organic fruits and vegetables. And water. He’s always downing tons and tons of water. That’s probably how he maintains his killer physique.
“You can sit down, Gavin,” Jamie says, aiming an unimpressed stare at him. “Twenty minutes of rest isn’t going to ruin your fitness model body. Neither is one beer.”
“No can do, my man.” Gavin transitions to jump lunges while holding his arms in the air. “We’re not all blessed with a naturally ripped physique like you. Some of us have to work for it.”
Jamie rolls his eyes, but I catch him starting to smile.
“I think that’s the first time I’ve ever seen you do that,” I say to him.
“What?”
“Smile.”
Jamie makes a disgruntled noise. Gavin laughs while jump-lunging, somehow. And he’s barely even breaking a sweat. I’d be gasping for air if I tried to talk or laugh while doing a HIIT workout.
“Aww, you saving your smiles for only me, big guy?” Gavin jokes. “I feel special.”
Jamie glares, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. I laugh and elbow him. Gavin fishes his phone out of his pocket mid-jump lunge and aims in at Jamie. “I gotta capture this Kodak moment. I don’t know if it’ll ever happen again.”
“Ha-ha.” Jamie rolls his eyes.
Suddenly Gavin stops moving as he gawks at his phone screen. “Whoa…”
“What’s up?”
Instead of answering me, Gavin just stares wide-eyed at his phone.
“Hey, is everything okay?”
“Hell yeah, it’s okay! More than okay!” He shoves his phone in my face.
I jerk back, grab the phone, and read what’s on his screen. My brow jumps to my hairline. “Holy…”
I trail off as I read and reread the Buzzfeed headline.
This app lets you go on fake dates with your dream guy and it is freaking amazing.
Dream Guy is on the main article on the home page of Buzzfeed. I quickly skim the first few paragraphs of the article until I realize that Gavin and Jamie are talking at me.
“Buzzfeed just did a write-up on Dream Guy,” I finally say.
Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised—Dream Guy has been a hit ever since it expanded along the West Coast. The app has Dream Guys and users in Portland, Seattle, San Francisco, and Los Angeles, and has maintained an impressive 4.9 rating. Still though, it’s surreal seeing a website as huge as Buzzfeed even mention us.
We quickly read the article.
When my friend Melissa told me that she had found the greatest dating app ever, I was skeptical. How could I not be? I’m a hardened dating app vet. I’ve waded through the creep-infested waters of almost every dating app in existence. I’ve experienced everything from unwanted dick pics to ghosting.
So when my friend promised me that this app Dream Guy was different, that it was a game changer and that I’d like it so much better than every other dating app I’ve ever used, I was skeptical. The name was cute, I gave it that. But then I joined the app, went on a couple of dates, and my opinion changed entirely.
Dream Guy is freaking awesome.
Just the premise is brilliant: When you sign up for the app, there are three tiers to choose from: Dates (a real date), Dream Dates (a professional date where you can hire a Dream Guy to come with you to work functions or weddings or other important events), or both.
Users pay depending on what tier they want. And each of the Dream Guys have featured profiles with a photo and a brief bio of their professional credentials, areas of interest, and hobbies so users can choose who they want to message for a ‘Date’ or ‘Dream Date’ or ‘Both.’
Now, the idea of going a fake date with some guy you’ve never met may sound weird. But it’s not. Because really, think about all the awful first dates you’ve been on with guys who fell short of your expectations—guys whose profile pics were years old or straight-up lies. Guys who pretended to be sweet and funny when you texted, but in real life were catfishes or jerks or just interested in hooking up.
At least when you hire a dream date aka fake date with Dream Guy, the guys are polite and professional, and they give you exactly what you want. You definitely can’t say that about the guys you meet on other dating apps.
And whatever vetting process they use on this app is freaking fantastic. The guys actually look like they do in their photos. No dick pics or catfishes in sight. Just sweet and attractive men who are all about showing you a good time. HELL TO THE YES.
I went one fake date and one real date and I had a blast both times. The first date was a Dream Date. I took a Dream Guy to a work function, and he was perfect: polite, sweet, attentive, dressed appropriately for the occasion, could carry on a conversation with my colleagues.
The second Dream Guy date was an actual date and it was way better than 99% of the dates I’ve been on with guys from other apps. He was just as charming, sweet, and funny as my fake date with the added bonus of us being attracted to each other. And we’re due to go on date number two this weekend.
Who knows if it’ll end up into a long-term relationship, but that’s not my biggest concern. I’m just happy that there’s a dating app that’s seemingly better than all the trash apps currently out there.
Whoever created this app please contact me. My friend and I want to buy you a drink, send you flowers, whatever you want as a thank you. We love you! And we love Dream Guy!
At the end of the article are tons of comments from readers.
This app sounds cool as hell.
Signing up for Dream Guy ASAP!
Honestly, going on a fake date sounds a million times better than a real date right now in my life.
This is exactly what the dating app market needs!
I look over at Gavin and Jamie. Gavin is beaming wide and Jamie looks mildly amused.
“This is so awesome, you guys,” Gavin says. “We gotta send this article to Eden. She’s gonna flip.”
I hop up from my couch. “I have a better idea.”