Chapter 47
EDEN
When I makeit to my bedroom, I fall onto the bed. My legs are jelly. A million thoughts fly through my brain, but nothing takes hold, nothing makes sense. My stomach is so knotted I feel like I’m going to vomit.
I rest my elbows on my knees and cradle my head in my hands. I force myself to take a half dozen slow breaths in and out, but that does little to calm my nerves, which have gone completely haywire.
Pressing my eyes shut, I feel the heat of shame cook me from the inside out. I thought I turned a corner with Dream Guy. I thought I learned how to be a leader, how to forge my own path, how to be tenacious and bold and persistent and a fighter. Now look at me.
The very future of Dream Guy, my livelihood, and the livelihood of my employees is in limbo because of one shitty, sensationalistic, and false blog post gone viral. And instead of sucking it up and fighting back, I fled. I literally scurried away. Like a coward.
When I close my eyes, I see the worried faces of Ian, Jamie, Danny, Gavin, Brendan, and Kayla all focused on me, like they were silently waiting for me to tell them what our plan of action would be. It makes sense—I’m the creator of Dream Guy. Up until this point I’ve been decisive and confident. But witnessing the backlash from that blog post has thrown me off completely. I haven’t the slightest clue what the hell we should do.
We’re losing subscribers. We’re losing our high rating. We’re bound to lose money…
What feels like acid curdles in my stomach. I’m in over my head. I don’t even know where to begin… I don’t know how to fight back. I don’t know how to save the app, how to save my employees, how to save myself and my dream…
“Eden?”
Danny’s soft tone jolts me. When I look up, he’s standing in the doorway of my bedroom, concern radiating from his hazel eyes.
“Are you okay?” he asks in that same gentle tone.
I start to nod. It happens almost automatically. But then I stop myself. I’m not going to lie to Danny. He’s my boyfriend, and that’s a shitty thing to do—to hide my true feelings from him, to lie to him.
I shake my head. “No. I’m not okay. I’m so freaked out right now.”
My voice breaks, and I cut myself off. Before I can even blink, Danny darts over to me and kneels in front of me. He cradles my face in his hands, smiling softly at me. A smidge of the anxiety and panic swirling inside me dissipates. God, that smile. I really, really needed to see it.
“It’s okay to be freaked out,” he says gently.
“No, it’s not.” I swallow back the ache in my throat and gnaw at my bottom lip when I feel it start to tremble. God, please don’t let me burst into tears. That would just add to the humiliation.
I take a second to swallow and steady myself. “I should know what to do, Danny. I’m the creator of Dream Guy. I’m the person who’s been leading the charge for this app since day one. I’m the one you’re supposed to look to for guidance.
“I’ve got an apartment full of my friends who are freaked out right now at the thought of losing their livelihood. They’re seeing Dream Guy in danger of going bust. And they looked to me for reassurance and what did I do? I ran away.”
I try and blink away the hot tears pooling at my waterlines. A few escape anyway.
“God, look at me,” I mutter.
“I am. You’re fucking gorgeous.”
I let out a snotty laugh at Danny’s quick, perfect-boyfriend response. He dabs at my cheeks with his hands. His expression is pure warmth as he gazes at me.
“A better leader wouldn’t be crying,” I say softly.
“There’s nothing wrong with crying, Eden. This is a stressful situation. It just got dropped in your lap literally minutes ago. Let yourself process your emotions. You’re not a machine.”
“Right now I wish I were. Maybe then I’d know what to do…”
“It’s okay that you don’t what to do right now. Things are overwhelming, and if you need to take some time to figure it out, that’s okay.”
I shake my head. “It’s not. Look, I know my strengths. I can pull all-nighters if I have to. I can code for hours on end until I go cross-eyed. But I have no idea what to do in a PR crisis like this. I don’t even have a lawyer to work out the legal aspects of this mess. I don’t even know how to go about finding a lawyer.”
He grips my hand in his. “Eden. It’s okay.”
“It’s really not.”
“It is. And I’ll say it again and again: it’s okay for you to take a minute before you attempt to figure this all out. I’m here for you. We all are.”
“But…”
Danny shakes his head. “No ‘but.’ We don’t expect you to have some magical answer to fix this.”
There’s a certainty in Danny’s tone that I pick up on. It’s exactly what I want to hear—what I need to hear.
“You’re not alone, Eden. We’ll figure this out together.”
Danny’s words are the comfort I’m craving in this chaotic and uncertain moment. Still on his knees in front of me, he leans forward and kisses my forehead. I nearly start crying again. It’s so gentle, so sweet, so caring.
Closing my eyes, I savor the feel of his lips on my skin, the heat from his body skimming over mine, how his grip on my hands makes me feel protected and comforted all at once.
“You don’t have to be so strong all the time, Eden,” he whispers against my skin. “Whatever you’re feeling, whatever you’re going through—your fears, your stresses, your happiness—whatever it is, I want to be there for you through it all.”
If my heart could shatter, that’s exactly what it does. Danny’s softly spoken words are the comfort and support I’m aching for.
He kisses my temple. “What do you need from me?” When I don’t answer right away, he dusts another featherlight kiss on my skin that gives me goose bumps.
“You really wanna know?”
“Always.”
“I want a shot of tequila. And some biscuits and gravy.”
The low rumble of Danny’s chuckle brings an instant smile to my face. He leans back. “You got it.”
He stands and starts to pull me up, but I stop him.
“Wait, I need to figure out what to tell the guys,” I say.
“Just tell them what you told me.”
I start to refuse, but Danny stops me.
“Eden, I’m sure I don’t need to tell you this, but Dream Guy isn’t your average workplace. We all know that—that’s why we choose to work here. That’s one of the things we like most about the app. Don’t feel like you have to sugarcoat or put on corporate speak or a front or anything like that. Just be open and honest with us like you’ve always been. We all love that about you.”
Danny’s words hit me deep inside. He’s right. Despite how dire and uncertain things are right now, I need to be open and honest like always.
We walk back out into the main area of my apartment. This time everyone is sitting and standing in the living room. When they look at me expectantly, that familiar wave of anxiety hits.
“Sorry about taking off a bit ago,” I tell them. “I just needed a second to process what’s going on.”
Everyone offers understanding comments. I take a breath and then speak.
“Look, I’m not going to lie to you guys. I’m really, really freaked out about that blog and the social media backlash that’s currently happening to Dream Guy. And I’m scared of the effect that it’s going to have on the app—on our business.” I swallow hard. “But as scared as I am, I’m even more determined. I’m going to fight like hell for this app—for all of you. I just need some time to think of a game plan.”
They all quietly nod at what I’ve said.
“That wasn’t a very badass, fearless-leader speech, was it?”
I’m surprised when I see half the group smile and the other half chuckle.
“It’s okay, Eden,” Gavin says. “We don’t know what to do about this either.”
“It’s cool if you need to take some time to think of a plan of attack,” Jamie adds.
Kayla steps over to me and pulls me into a side hug. “Seriously. We all like that you’re not an impulsive dipshit who flies off the handle at the first sign of stress or makes major decisions off the cuff. You’re thoughtful and measured.”
I manage a soft “thank you” as I soak in the support from everyone.
“I’m going to fix this,” I say after a moment, my tone surer. “I promise, I’m going to figure out a way through this mess.”
“What can we do to help?” Jamie asks.
“Yeah. You shouldn’t have to go this alone,” Gavin adds.
Kayla nods along too, but I shake my head. “I appreciate that, really, but I feel like I should be the one who bears the brunt of fixing this.”
I catch a few looks of hesitation on people’s faces, but they stay quiet. Kayla definitely looks like she has something to say, but instead she walks over to me.
“What do you need right now from us?”
“A shot. And some food. Preferably biscuits and gravy.”
She smiles. “On it.” She calls the diner down the street and orders biscuits and gravy for everyone except Gavin. She glances over at him. “I’m guessing you’ll want a salad?”
He makes a finger-gun gesture at her. “You know me so well.”
When she hangs up I thank her. She winks at me. Just then Danny walks into the kitchen and emerges with a giant bottle of tequila that I forgot Kayla bought ages ago.
He waggles the bottle at me. “Shots?”
I let out a laugh. Jamie, Ian, and Brendan chime in that they want shots too. Kayla darts to the kitchen to fetch shot glasses.
“Count me in too,” Gavin says.
I whip my head at him. “But your diet.”
He shrugs. “I’m making an exception for tonight.”
Kayla hands him a shot glass, and Danny pours him a generous shot. They do the same for us all. We all stand around, shots in hand. When everyone looks at me, this time I know what to say.
I raise my shot glass in the air. “Tequila first, life later.”
I down my shot to the sound of everyone laughing. I chuckle and cough, dripping a bit of tequila on my yoga pants. As I wipe at the wet spot, a light bulb goes off in my head.
I look over at Kayla, then Danny. “I think I have an idea.”