Chapter 48
DANNY
I peerover at Eden sitting in the chair next to me in the waiting room of Ava’s office. She’s practicing that calming breathing exercise I’ve noticed she does when she’s anxious or nervous—she’s been doing it a lot lately.
I reach over and grab her hand. “Hey.”
She looks down at our joined hands, the smallest smile tugging at those beautiful lips. It’s the first time her mouth has curved upward all day, and as heartening as that is to see, I wish it were bigger.
I wish I could wipe away the anguish and worry that’s etched in her features ever since that fucking blog article went viral, threatening the future of Dream Guy. I wish I could figure out a way to make this all go away—to make Eden happy again.
I wish I could tell her that I love her and that everything will be okay…
I let out a slow, quiet breath. No. This would be a terrible time to tell Eden I love her. She’s going through so much right now. I want the first time that I tell her I love her to be joyful and special.
“It’s gonna be okay,” I say to Eden, trying to sound as sure as possible, even though I’m riddled with doubt. I have no idea how things are going to turn out, and it’s as infuriating as it is terrifying. This app means everything to Eden—it’s her baby, her dream, her pride and joy, her blood, sweat, and tears. And some internet stranger is on the verge of destroying it.
The worst part is that there’s nothing I can do to stop it, other than offer empty words of comfort.
Eden nods once at what I’ve said. She even keeps her smile, but I can tell it’s just for show.
“This is a great idea you had, approaching Ava,” I say to Eden.
“I hope so.”
Last night Eden came up with the idea to meet with Ava and see if she’d be comfortable publicly endorsing Dream Guy in order to restore some credibility to app. Dream Guy is sustaining a ton of criticism on social media as a result of that bogus blog article. Subscriptions are way down, people are lobbing insults and unfair speculations left and right, and revenue is plummeting.
Eden thought that if we could get Ava to publicly say that she used the app, the tide will start to turn. People will see a credible public figure with a huge following tout the app and change their minds about Dream Guy.
“It’s a long shot,” Eden says with a sigh. “You know how private Ava was when she used Dream Guy. Remember the NDAs?”
I nod while giving her hand a gentle squeeze. “I know. But she had a great experience with the app. And she’s a good person. She’ll want to help.”
“I hope so.” Worry flashes in her gaze. “Hey, um, you’ve been kind of quiet since last night.”
“What do you mean?”
She hesitates, her eyes falling to her lap. “I just noticed you didn’t text me back when I wished you good night last night. You normally do. And this morning you were really quiet on the car ride over here.”
Guilt hits me square in the chest. I’ve been so worried about Dream Guy and even more stressed at the fact that I can’t think of anything to do to help that I’ve gone a bit quiet. I didn’t realize Eden noticed though.
“I guess I’m just scared that you’re closing off, fading away?—”
Just then, Ava’s secretary Olga walks out into the reception area and asks us to follow her into Ava’s office. As much as I want to clarify my feelings to Eden and alleviate her worry, I can’t right now. I have to focus on being her support through this meeting with Ava. She greets us with a tight smile and that makes my stomach start to sink as Eden and I take our seats in those plush chairs in front of her desk.
Eden goes straight into professional mode: tall posture, clear and pointed eye contact, a pleasant expression on her face.
“Thanks so much for meeting with us at the last minute, Ava,” she says.
“Of course. You know how much I love you and your app.” Ava settles behind her desk. The corner of her mouth twitches and her smile falters. And that’s when I know we’re fucked.
“I’ve been thinking about what you told me, Eden. About the situation with your app and that awful article about Dream Guy.” She starts to wince. “I want to help you. Really, I do. I just don’t think that I can publicly support Dream Guy.”
Eden pauses for a moment before clearing her throat. “Can I ask why?”
Ava glances down at her hands, which are folded on the desk. When she looks up her eyes are teary. “I know what a shitty person I’m being right now.” She blinks quickly. “It’s just that… As hard as I’ve worked to carve out my own identity as a businesswoman, I’m still connected to my family. In a lot of ways.”
Ava’s gaze falls once more. It’s like she’s so ashamed at what she’s saying that she can’t bear to keep prolonged eye contact with Eden.
“I know I talk a big game on social media, in my work life, all that, about being independent and striking out on my own with my lifestyle brand and my business,” Ava says. “But the truth is that my family still has a lot of sway in my life. They control a lot of things financially for me.
“They’re old-fashioned to a fault, and I hate it. And yeah, I know for a fact that all of the claims on social media about Dream Guy being an escort service that facilitates cheating are total bullshit, but my family wouldn’t care. Even if I explained it to them, the only thing they’d focus on are the salacious parts—the escort service, the adultery—even though they’re lies.
“They don’t want to be associated with anything that’s even remotely indecent—even if it’s not even true. All they see is the bad press, the negative associations. It goes against the pristine and proper image they’ve spent generations curating. And if they knew that I was associating with any of that, they’d cut me off. That would ruin me and everything that I’ve worked so hard to build, and I just…I just…”
There’s a sting in my chest as I watch Ava’s lips tremble, as I see those tears pool in her eyes once more. Yeah, I’m upset that she’s refusing to help Eden. But obviously Ava’s situation with her family is a lot more complicated than I know. I can’t be mad that she’s not willing to ruin her life in order to help us.
Eden nods, her expression sober. “It’s okay, Ava. I get it.”
“I’m so sorry.” Ava sniffles.
Eden hops up and rounds Ava’s desks before pulling her into a hug. “Don’t be sorry,” Eden says softly. “Family shit is complicated it. I get it.”
Ava lets out a watery chuckle as she hugs Eden. When they break apart, I don’t miss the mystified look on Ava’s face. Like she’s astounded by Eden’s kind response.
Eden thanks Ava for her time and we walk out of the office and ride the elevator to the lobby in silence. We walk down the block to where my car is parked. Before we get in, I grab Eden by the hand and pull her into a hug.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry.” She speaks into my shoulder, her voice muffled. “It’s not like it’s your fault.”
“I know, I’m just…sorry that this situation is so fucked. And that I can’t do anything to help.” I pull away so I can look at her. I take in the glimmer of doubt in her eyes. “And I’m sorry for how quiet I was last night and this morning—and that it made you worry about my feelings for you. The reason I went quiet last night and this morning was because I feel so useless right now. I want to fix this more than anything, but I can’t. I don’t know how.”
Her eyes turn shy and sad. “It reminded me of how you disappeared when we first got together, when you felt about weird about hanging out with Cruz because we hadn’t told him about us yet. I know things are rough right now, and I’ve noticed that you can go quiet when that happens, when things get overwhelming and stressful…”
I cup her face in my hands. “I’m not going anywhere, Eden.”
She relaxes in my hold. The look on her face softens.
“Danny.” The way she says my name—like a cross between a moan and a whisper—sends goose bumps across my skin. She leans back to look at me. “This isn’t your problem to fix. Just the fact that you’re here supporting me through every step of the way is more than enough. Truly.”
Something about what she’s said makes me ache in the best way. I feel so comforted, it’s like my body can barely handle it. I pull her to me once more and kiss her.
“As long as you’re with me, Danny, I can handle anything.”
And there it is. An honest-to-god smile that reaches her eyes. There’s joy and relief and what looks a hell of a lot like…love.
My throat goes tight. I lick my lips and open my mouth. I almost say it.
Eden, I love you.
But I stop myself. Not now. It’s not the right time, not when she’s watching her business drown, struggling to find any way to save it.
I pull her tight against me and kiss her forehead. “I’ll always be with you, Eden. Always,” I say against her skin. And then we climb into my car, I grab her hand in mine, and I drive in the direction of my apartment.