15. Clayton
Chapter 15
Clayton
The room spun when Kieran bent to kiss me. How was this my life right now? I’d done nothing but fuck up and yet the universe saw fit to give me this glorious gift. Kieran straddled me, taking care to not jostle or bump my leg. He stopped kissing to unzip his pants and pull his cock out. His movements were slow and deliberate, like he was making a show of it for me.
It was insane to me that we still had any clothes on at all, but maybe it was for the best. It provided a barrier that prevented us from going too far, too fast. It wasn’t all bad, though. Kieran looming over me, fully dressed, with just his cock hanging out was absurdly hot. His dick was a thing of beauty too. I didn’t have to be an artist to see how pretty it was. Thick too, and long. Jesus, Kieran was packing.
He stroked his dick and I watched, unable to look away. My mouth watered and I flicked my gaze up to catch him looking at me. Something electric passed between us. It was undeniable now. I was absolutely fucked.
“Don’t make me beg.” My voice shook. It wasn’t likely that he’d reject me now, not when his dick was mere inches from my face, but the fear still uncurled in my stomach, becoming little ping pong balls of insecurity that knocked around inside me, making me shake .
Carefully, he inched forward. Maybe one day he wouldn’t have to be so cautious with me. The thought filled every crack in my broken body.
He shimmied close enough to guide the tip of his cock across my waiting lips. Salt, with a tinge of bitterness, lingered on my lips and I licked the taste of him off. Kieran did it again and rather than stare at his cock, though it was magnificent, I lifted my eyes to his face. I’d never seen someone look at me with so much want. The look of desire on Kieran’s face, his hooded eyes, his parted lips, the fire I saw in his gaze… I melted under the heat of it.
“Open for me,” Kieran said.
Of course I listened. He hadn’t finished saying the words and my mouth had opened wide, anticipating his cock.
Kieran didn’t make me wait. He dragged his cock across my protruding tongue, then slid his dick into my mouth. I held his gaze as I closed my lips around him. He reached for the headboard and gripped onto it to steady himself.
“Fucking look at you.” His already deep voice was thick and husky.
My already spent dick came to life again at the sound of it, rising to half-mast just at the sound of it.
My eyelids fluttered shut as Kieran rocked back and forth, sliding his cock in and out of my mouth at his own pace while I sucked and licked and caressed his cock with my tongue.
“Look at me, Clay.” Kieran sounded raw and ruined, and my eyes shot open.
Helpless beneath him, I was safe here. Protected. Of its own volition, my left arm moved and I grabbed onto his leg, clinging to him like he’d disappear if I didn’t hold on.
The past couple months, and honestly longer, had been filled with such uncertainty. And then Kieran had been forced into my life and I got the feeling that he wouldn’t let me fail. Even if it wasn’t for my sake, but for the sake of others. Kieran had become the most solid, most real thing in my life and I wanted to anchor myself to him.
“That’s right,” he said, pleased by me for some reason I couldn’t figure out.
I whimpered around his dick. My own arousal had returned and I wanted nothing more than for him to flip me over and fuck me through the mattress. To pin me down and fill me up, and maybe even keep me. But first, I’d have to be someone worth keeping.
“You’re so hot like this.” Kieran reached his free hand down and brushed the hair off my forehead. “Fucking look at you.”
The awe in his voice cracked me in half and I renewed my efforts to please him. Kieran’s hips jerked and he thrust deeper than before. To encourage him to do it again, I hummed. He bit out a curse and his hips snapped again.
I refused to close my eyes. If I only got tonight, I wanted to see everything. Kieran’s eyes were squeezed shut and his lips were parted. The scruff on his face had grown enough that it was soft now instead of scratchy.
His eyes opened and he caught me staring up at him.
He didn’t look away. Our gazes held each other in a way that was far more intimate than the cock in my mouth. Far more revealing than if we were fully naked. Kieran was as upside down about this as I was. There was a sense of comfort in that—that maybe if he was as caught off-guard as I was, it meant that he might feel the other things I felt. It was too much to hope for, but I let myself. Just for tonight I’d allow myself to fall into whatever this was without fear of what would come tomorrow .
Because I knew there was no tomorrow for us. We’d go back to the real world where I was still broken and his truck was still stolen… and I was just a pain in the ass that he’d been stuck with.
“Clay, fuck. I’m so close.” Kieran pulled out and started jerking.
“In my mouth,” I managed to say. My jaw ached, but I wanted him back in me. Greed made me want to keep every bit of him I could. “Let me taste you.”
“Fucking hell, Clay.” Kieran cursed my name even as he slid his cock across my waiting tongue and into my mouth. He gripped the headboard with both hands now and his hips jerked as he thrust in and out of my mouth in shallow movements.
I watched a vein in the center of his forehead come to the surface, bulging and angry as blood rushed through it. His jaw ticked and his neck was pink and flush with lust. I’d never seen anyone more stunning than Kieran in that moment. And then he was coming—salty, bitter, perfect, across my tongue and down my throat. I swallowed it all down, watching Kieran the whole time.
He was breathtaking. A picture of beauty that I’d never be able to capture. The glow from the lamp cast him in light on one side and shadow on the other, like there were two parts to him and both of them were for me. He trembled and spasmed, his motions slowing, gentling as he finished. He looked almost apologetic when he pulled out of my mouth.
I licked my lips, chasing the flavor of him.
“That was amazing.” I sighed as he climbed off me and flopped down on the other side of the bed. I wanted him to want me enough to pull me back into his arms, but the orgasms had broken the spell. Even though my dick was hard as a rock again and I could stand to go another round, I didn’t ask or hint. He’d already given me more than I thought he would .
We lay there in the quiet of the room, not breaking the silence. I closed my eyes and focused on the way my heart clanged against my ribs. My chest heaved and I willed my cock to go down. We were clearly done for the night. I didn’t want to be too much or too greedy.
Kieran stood and stripped down to his briefs. “We can’t sleep fully clothed,” he stated as he folded his clothes and stacked them on the dresser that also served as a television stand.
“We did before,” I argued.
“That was before we meant to sleep. Here, let me help.”
Kieran got me out of my shirt, his eyes raking over the tattoos on my chest. Of all the things to get nervous about, it wasn’t when he had his hand on my cock, or when he was kneeling over me. It was when he started to undo the stupid boot on my leg. Underneath the protective boot and my pants was a too-pale, too-thin, too-weak leg.
“I can sleep in my jeans. It’s fine.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You’ll be more comfortable without them.”
I winced involuntarily.
“But if you’re more comfortable, I won’t push.”
Taking a deep breath, I shimmied out of my pants. Kieran bent and helped me get them off the rest of the way, while managing to avoid making me feel self-conscious.
“Boot on or off to sleep?”
Usually I slept with it off, but sleeping next to someone else made me fearful that he’d kick me in the middle of the night. I was so close to being healed that I didn’t want to risk anything bad happening. Was it rational to worry about something like that? Probably not, but I grabbed the boot and put it back on anyway.
Kieran folded my clothes and stacked them next to his then climbed into bed beside me. He shocked me by patting the empty space next to him. “Maybe I can help keep the bad dreams away this time. ”
It was stupid of me to allow this little break from reality to continue, but exhaustion tugged at me and I went to him, rolling onto my side so I was the little spoon and my broken arm wasn’t being squashed underneath me. Kieran grabbed an extra pillow and put it in front of me, tucking it carefully under my arm. Then he pulled the covers up from the foot of the bed where they’d been kicked.
The light stayed on and I closed my eyes, wondering if I could sleep without it, cocooned like this in Kieran’s arms. Kieran, who was asleep in a matter of moments. His breathing deepened and the arm he’d wrapped around me grew heavier. I liked how secure I felt, but hated that it was temporary.
Sleep should have come easy for me. My body felt like I’d been filled with cement, but my mind was racing. Dreaming. Thinking. Worrying. Wondering what life would be like when I woke up. Either nothing would change, or everything would and I couldn’t decide which one I wanted more.