4. Aspyn
Chapter four
Aspyn
A spyn Aged 14
I wake up hearing the beeping of machines. It’s a noise I’ve only ever heard on TV, but I know it instantly. I’m in a hospital, but why? It still takes me a moment to open my eyes. I don’t hurt, not exactly, but I feel weird, heavy and light at the same time.
The first thing I see is an IV bag. The long line loops down to my arm and, holding my hand, is a hand with a ring I recognise instantly. My mother. She stares at me like I’m a ghost. Her lower lip and chin tremble. Her eyes are red-rimmed and swollen. She’s lost weight. She looks like a different person.
I try to call her, but I can’t move my face properly.
“No, no, don’t talk. You’re okay. You’re going to be fine,” she sobs out the words and swipes at her face.
I stare at her because, in those words, I can’t find anything true. She’s lying.
Nothing’s fine.
Something’s very wrong. I look down the bed and see my leg in a cast up to my groin.
What happened?
All I can remember is the roar of water as it swallows me.
P resent Day
“Put me down, Shale.”
He hums and then hoists me up so I’m at eye level with him. “I’m very cross with you, little omega.”
I blink several times. “It’s not my fault!” I snap, outraged.
“No? Did you tell them to go away? That you were, how did you phrase this again, not in the market for alphas, or is that just us you don’t want?”
Shale sounds dangerously like he might be jealous, but that would be impossible, wouldn’t it?
Oh, no, I did it again.
Shale, Keagan, and Beau might be three of the wildest, most dangerous alphas I know, but they are still human, and they still have insecurities. I hurt their feelings. Again.
I sigh and look away, trying to find the words to undo what I’ve done. “I’m not looking for alphas, either you or them. Honestly.” I wait a long moment, and the word just slips out. “But-”
Shale’s jaw tightens, and I think he might actually lose it, but instead, he just murmurs the word I let slip.
I swear internally and struggle to find the right words. It’s with great caution that I say my next sentence.
“I would like to know some things.”
“Like what?” Shale asks and presses his lips into a thin line.
“Like why Gael was searching for me. Or why Ezy blocked my emails when I didn’t show up. Or-”
“Or why that dick head hurt you?”
I flinch, and Shale huffs and shifts my weight in his arms.
“You don’t need to carry me.”
“Of course, I do. When else do you let me hold you?”
I snap my jaw shut at his bitter comment and have this fleeting wish that I could be normal and allow these alphas into my life. After all, they’ve more than earned it.
They have saved me over, and over, and over.
Whenever I feel alone, they are here keeping me safe, circling like my own pet sharks, ready to rip anyone who gets close apart.
But, one day, they will meet someone and leave.
I know it.
“You know, that only makes things harder for all of us,” I murmur.
“Yes, because you still don’t believe we’re devoted to you and only you. What is it going to take, Aspyn?”
I blink at him. “Can we not have this conversation right now? I’m just so glad you guys were there to save me. I thought I was going to die yesterday.”
Shale tightens his arms around me. “Never!”
I cling to him and let the horror of it come back to me. The water was so strong. I shudder, tasting my potent fear. But Shale’s arms are big and warm, and I know, no matter what, he wouldn’t have let the ocean claim me. He is that powerful.
Shale stops and shifts me so he can touch my face with those gentle fingers.
“Aspyn?”
I blink and look up at him.
“I’m going to protect you. We’re not going to let anything happen to you.”
I stare up at him. “You can’t promise that.”
“I can. I’m going to make sure you have everything you need.”
He stops at a familiar house and, with one more reluctant squeeze, sets me down and hands me my cane.
“Have a good day today, and bake me something delicious.”
I snort at him. “You know damn well my cooking is atrocious.”
“I love your cooking,” Shale murmurs. “I always eat every bite.”
And that is true and a really good example of why these perfect alphas can’t be mine. They would eat all the food I cooked them, even if it contained poison, which, based on my cooking, is a high probability.
But they always eat.
They take my offers like they are starving.
I blink and step back, suddenly aware and embarrassed that I’ve been caught staring.
Shale has the most beautiful blue hair, it’s deeper than the shallows of the ocean and more intense and darker than sky blue. It’s always smooth and straight and hangs over his left eye. Along with the thin rings he always wears and the swirls of tattoos he has peeking out of shirts, he gives an intensely hot but dangerous vibe. I’ve heard what women say about him.
Omegas want him for a heat. Betas want him for anything. Hell, even alpha men have made comments that make my face burn.
But I’ve felt my way around his body. I know intimately what he likes and how that groan he makes causes my toes to curl. I’ve seen just how powerful he is when he’s putting his knot in me.
He is addictive and a habit I am trying to break.
“I will save you a cookie.”
His smile is slow and dangerously sexy. “I’ll look forward to it, Omega.”
I force a sunny smile to hide how much I want to throw myself at him and beg him not to leave, lift an arm in goodbye, and turn and go into the house.
As soon as I’m in and the door is closed, I lean against the wall and fan my scorching cheeks.
“Keagan?” Nat asks from the kitchen.
“Shale!”
“Ah, normally, it’s Keagan who puts that I’m-going-to-melt-into-a-puddle-of-slick look on your face.”
I shoot my best friend a look of supreme annoyance.
“What? Keagan makes you hot.”
“They all make me hot. And every person on this island who still has the ability to have a libido.”
“This is true, but they don’t aim that at anyone but you. Beau’s got that voice and the dirty talk. I mean, walking in on you last year was an education in how to speak fluent smut.”
I hush her and glance out the window. I’m never sure where they are, and windows, doors, and locks are simply optional to them.
“Oh, come on, some of the things you’ve said Beau whispers in that drool worthy accent of his has me looking for a chair leg to rub against!”
“NAT!” I burst into laughter, unable to help myself.
“What? Truth is supposed to be spoken, babes.” She flicks a wooden spoon in my direction. “And, while we’re on the subject, Keagan beat up the guy who stole crystals from your booth.” She throws a small velvet bag in my direction. “A delivery from your violent angel.”
A small tendril of warmth spreads through me until I’m staring down at my missing crystals with a huge grin.
“He’s so sweet.”
“Like a rottweiler!” Nat barks. “Or a hammerhead. That alpha is unhinged.”
“He brought my crystals back. Do you have any idea how expensive these are?”
Nat has no interest in my crystals, so she just blinks the look of bestie boredom and turns back to the stove.
“So, did you hear what happened yesterday?” I ask tentatively.
“The surfer hotties that rescued you from certain death? Oh, yes, babes, I’ve heard all about it. I swear, this island lives to tattle on you.”
I hum.
“So, um, there was more to it.”
Nat freezes and turns around. She tosses the spoon in the sink and pulls up a chair at her table, gesturing for me to sit.
I sit down and put my head in my hands, almost unable to utter the words.
“It was Kelly.”
Nat screeches. Like a pterodactyl or some shit. I cover my ears and watch her lose her mind. She dances and bounces and lets out another horrid shriek.
“Okay, okay, I’m good.” She sits with shining eyes, gleaming eyes.
I hum and give her the side-eye. “And Ezy.”
This scream is louder, and she actually jumps around the table howling her mirth. I’m really glad she’s enjoying this disaster.
She sits down at the table and leans across so half her body is resting on the wood.
“And the third guy?”
I look up. “Now, he puzzles me. I went to school with his brother, and he says he’s been looking for me all this time.”
Nat swoons, deflating onto the table like a balloon who lost all her air. “That is so sweet. Is he hot?”
“Extremely.”
I shift in my seat, glancing at the window just to make sure there isn’t a Daane sitting there.
“So, what’s the problem?”
“Ezy blocked me when I didn’t show up for our date, and you know I was in really bad shape after that attack.”
Nat nods sagely. “You were. It was a dick move.”
“Kelly said I would never be good enough for him.”
“Boo! We hate Kelly!”
“And Gael is a stranger who has got a little bit of stalker vibes going on.”
“Right.” Nat nods, all supportive but waiting.
“And.”
“And?”
“The pack was there, too.” I pause, my cheeks burning. Why is this so hard to admit? I can’t even say the next bit in a loud voice. I have to whisper the admission. “They all seem to think they’re my scent matches.”
I glare at Nat and rub my ears again. “Did you have to shriek that loudly?”
“You’ve got six scent matches. Six! You hit the jackpot. We have to go find them. I have to see.”
“NO!”
Nat puts her hands on her hips. “Either we go or I go.”
I curse under my breath, push myself into a stand, following Nat to the front door. She hands me the accursed cane and walks beside me, almost vibrating with excitement.
“Shale hit Kelly.”
“Good. I’ve changed my mind. Shale is a good alpha. I like him. I would lick him.”
I give her a side-eye and shake my head, but then I glance back down the street and freeze.
Gael is standing in the middle of the road, staring right at me.
“Is that him?”
“Gael,” I murmur. “That’s the guy who's been searching for me all these years.”
“He is yummy, girl.”
He walks towards me, and I feel myself stiffen. I look anywhere but at him as I imagine how pathetic I look with my cane, limping down the street.
“Aspyn.”
Gael’s got an accent, too. How did I not notice that?
I look up and freeze. His eyes are a deep brown and appear depthless and so soft, but where the light catches them, they turn a rich and striking amber.
“I’m so glad we ran into each other.”
I shift my weight and glance at Nat. The plan was to spy, not have conversations with them.
“Why?”
He blinks, and I blush at my half shout.
“Why are you looking for me? Why?” I say the words urgently, then force myself to take a breath and calm down.
He shakes his head. “It’s a long story. Would you care to sit, have a drink with me, and I can tell you?”
I’m tempted, so damn tempted. But then Keagan drapes his arm over my shoulder and pulls me into his side.
I inhale the scent of my alpha, that blood orange, and whine.
He dips down, brushes his lips across mine, and then straightens back up.
“Holy shit, he pissed on your leg,” Nat says in awe.
I shoot her a look that says shut the fuck up, bitch, and save me. She ignores both.
“Come on, babe. You promised you’d let me,” Keagan pauses, shooting a simmering look down at me, “eat you for dinner.”
My mouth drops open, Nat howls with laughter, Gael curses, but nothing escapes me but a whoosh of air. Keagan simply picks me up and puts an arm around Nat to herd her braying ass back to wherever he wants us.
I look back; I can’t help it.
Gael is standing in the street staring after me.
I want to have that drink with him.
And that terrifies me.