5. Aspyn
Chapter five
Aspyn
A spyn Aged 14
Mum takes my hand and leans down to kiss it quickly.
She’s trying to find words that I do not want her to speak.
“Mum?”
“Your father and sister didn’t make it out of the house.”
I stare at her. The words are just words, and they don’t make any sense in my mind.
“What?”
“They didn’t make it, honey. They,” she cuts off, taking a huge breath and exhaling with a shuddering sob. “Your father and sister didn’t get out. They died.”
They died.
My dad is dead.
My sister is dead.
The world goes silent but for the roar of water.
P resent Day
You know what sucks? Wanting to stomp around your own house but being unable to stomp.
Instead, I pick up a cup and throw it at a wall. But, to my fury, Beau snatches it out of the air and returns it to me with a kiss on the cheek. I do feel better after the kiss, I will admit, but I wanted to break something.
“You can’t keep me locked up in here. I have to go to work.”
“I’ll buy a fortune,” Beau purrs and waggles his eyebrows suggestively.
“I can only tell your fortune in so many different ways, Beau.”
“Tell me again. I like it when you speak to me all low and dirty.”
My cheeks burn, and I can’t hold his gaze, though I do try my absolute hardest.
Beau chuckles and grips my hips, shuffling in close so I have to tilt my head to look up at him.
“We aren’t locking you up, we’re protecting you from idiots.”
“I don’t need protection from Kelly Raines, Ezy, or Gael. What do you think they’re going to do, snatch me up and put a bond mark on me?”
The three of them exchange a look, and I realise that, to them, it’s a very serious option.
“They wouldn’t do that. I’m broken, remember,” I say bitterly.
“Cher, I love that you are you, but this self-confidence thing you don’t have is becoming a problem. Kelly looks at you like he wants to never let you go. Ezy could eat you up, and Gael would crawl over glass to be next to you. I don’t trust those guys an inch.”
I shuffle away from Beau and meet Keagan’s gaze.
He shrugs, hops up on my kitchen counter, and starts swinging his legs.
“They do. They’re lucky we haven’t beaten them black and blue for the audacity.”
I gasp and turn, only to find Shale right there. He steps, and I back up.
“Do you want the pussy little alphas, Omega?”
I lick my lips, but my hesitation says it all.
Beau and Keagan spit out curses that I don’t respond to because I’ve heard them all before.
“You want them?” Shale says and leans in so he can stare into my eyes. “And you want us, too.”
I make a tiny, wounded sound.
“I see. A scent match really is the most powerful thing.” He turns, but I grab his finger, holding onto it.
I’m flustered and scared, and I feel like I’ve hurt them when it’s the last thing I want to do.
Shale turns back and sweeps me up into his arms, walking until I’m sitting beside Keagan on the counter.
“Don’t stress about this at all, my gorgeous omega. We will sort it out for you.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“I know you are.”
“They’re leaving tomorrow,” I say, unable to stop the note of anxiety that leaves me breathless and hurting. “The competition is only here for four days, and it’s been three. Tomorrow, they won’t be a problem.”
“You let us handle them,” Shale says and strokes my cheeks. “Anything you want, you tell me, and I’ll make it happen.”
“I can’t have alphas. I’m broken, Shale. Maybe, hmm, it’s just that I would like to speak to them. Maybe. Just to get closure.” I peek up at him.
“You can have anything you like if you’re brave enough.”
I bite my tongue so more frustrated protests don’t come out. I can’t stop the anxious worrying, though, that I might miss this chance. All the surfers leave for the next stop of the tournament tomorrow. I might never see them again.
I have questions, and I…
I close my eyes. This isn’t fair to Beau, Shale, and Keagan. I have to have some respect for everything they’ve put up with. All the help they’ve given me. Hell, they even help me with my heats.
My eyes fall to my leg, and I think of all the times they’ve picked me up off the floor and massaged my leg so I can sleep.
Yeah, I should stay here and not go see the others.
Keagan sighs and hops off the counter. He turns, pulls me off, and sets me on the ground.
“Let's go, then.”
“Go?”
“Let’s go find your alphas.”
I scan his face, searching for any sign of anger or annoyance, but Keagan just reaches out and brushes my hair back, revealing my scar. I immediately cover my cheek again and bat at his hands.
“Coming or not?”
I limp after him, grabbing my cane, and following close on his heel as we leave my home.
He slows down, they always do. We all know they could leave me in the dust, but they never do, and I love them for it.
Keagan lifts his head and inhales as a breeze hits us. It’s the only time he looks truly at peace; when he’s away from people.
I know he had a tough time growing up. Like me, he was left by his parents. He was left when he was really young, though, and spent a long time alone. I didn’t last very long on my own at all.
I’m not sure where Shale and Beau are, but they will turn up or not. I used to worry they would get sick of me and just leave, but, so far, they have stayed. Always making sure one of them is with me. Other than the times I’ve pushed them away.
“Keagan?”
“Yes?”
“Do you think Kelly’s going to say something bad?”
Keagan stops, tilts his head back, and lets out a roar that has me bouncing away from him and wincing as my leg twinges.
I avert my eyes when he turns towards me and look at the ground.
“What have we been telling you all morning, Aspyn?”
“You’ll take care of it,” I whisper.
“If he says one word to hurt your feelings, I’m going to feed him my fist. Hear me, please.”
I nod my head, my cheeks all hot again.
“Okay, let’s go.”
I start limping, but my sudden movement has made it ache. Keagan, like it’s a sixth sense of his, turns towards me, frowning. He sweeps me up before I can protest and walks us into town.
“When are you going to let me buy you a car?”
“It’s good exercise to walk!” I squeak.
“You could put on some weight and still be light as a feather.”
I stare at his beautiful face in silence.
“I don’t like making you sad, Keagan.”
“You don’t make me sad. You make me so happy just knowing you exist.”
“I-”
“Hey, Keagan, you owe us a rematch!”
“Fuck off!” Keagan growls without even looking at Tully and Nord. They are two happy guys who moved to the island in their twenties and have spent the last thirty years baking here.
My guys hate everyone but each other, me, and, by extension, Nat. They tolerate the rest of the island.
We get down to the beach, and Keagan stops under the palms, letting me slide down his body, and then wrapping himself around me from behind.
I spot them instantly. Kelly has a surfboard under his arm and is being followed by a group of women who have flocked to the island to watch them compete. The women aren’t wearing much, and I can’t help but compare how gorgeous they are to me.
Ezy and Gael aren’t far away either, but just when I go to look away, Ezy spots me.
He stills and, with a glance at Kelly, immediately jogs towards us. I don’t know if the three of them have pack bonds, but Kelly and Gael turn and spot me, too, so I’m guessing they have them.
I watch the three of them approach, and, in the periphery, I catch sight of Shale and Beau slinking around.
Safe. I’m safe.
Kelly approaches and looks me up and down. I’m wearing a simple cream dress. It’s modest, covering me to my knees, but I feel exposed.
“Did you win?” It’s the stupidest thing to say, but I honestly can’t think of anything else.
“Yes,” Kelly says with a probing look. “We did.”
“I want to apologise for blocking you. I thought you were someone else playing a game and messing with my head, and I just was in a bad head space. It never occurred to me that you were real,” Ezy spits out quickly. He looks anything but easy.
Keagan presses a kiss to the back of my head, and I lift my arms, holding onto the one wrapped around my middle for support.
“It’s okay. I understand.”
Ezy doesn’t look appeased. In fact, he looks more frustrated.
“And you?” I level Kelly with a look. “Did you mean what you said the day we met?”
“No! Of course not.”
I wait, but nothing else comes out of his mouth. No apologies, no sincere words.
All of a sudden, this feels like a horrible idea. A terrible idea. I force a smile and meet their eyes one by one.
“I’m glad to have met you. Good luck with the rest of your surfing competition.”
Ezy’s mouth drops open. “That’s it? You’re just going to walk away and leave it like that?”
I hesitate, confused and growing more anxious.
“What else can I say? You’re leaving tomorrow, right?” My voice comes out a bit fast, a bit panicked.
Kelly nods. “We are.”
I beam. “What else is there to say?” I look at Gael, and something in me stills and gets a little achy.
He’s staring at me with an intense and sad expression that makes me think he’s desperately lonely.
I squeeze Keagan’s arm harder, and Gael’s eyes drop down to where he’s holding me and then back up to my face.
But then Gael looks at the cane, and he studies my face a beat too long, and his expression clears.
“You look so good from the last time I saw you, Aspyn.”
His husky voice hits a part of me that yearns for home and times I thought I didn’t remember.
“When did you see me last?” I ask curiously.
“Well, the first time was through a window at school. Noah had gotten into trouble at school, and we were late for a meeting with the principal. I saw you and asked who you were. Noah said you were one of the nicest people. He really liked you a lot.”
I stare at him, my mind ripping open the memories of that place.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“Don’t be. I just thought if you had survived, then it would be okay.”
I stare at Gael. We’ve both lost siblings. It’s an indescribable pain. I don’t think people talk about it often enough. How do I live the rest of my life without her there? She’s the ghost I hear at night, the one who cheers me on. Cassie was my best friend.
“I’m sorry,” Gael whispers and cautiously comes closer. He cups my cheeks and brushes my tears aside. “I didn’t mean to bring back painful memories for you, Aspyn.”
I look up at him. He’s so close, close enough I can see the stubble clearly, close enough for me to see the long curve of his black eyelashes.
“Don’t be sad, little omega,” he murmurs.
Keagan finally lets out a warning growl, and Gael backs off.
“So, you have a pack?” Kelly asks flatly.
I stare at him. He’s big and broad and full of a confidence and icy calmness that makes me feel like an emotional mess.
“I-”
“Yes,” Keagan snarls. “She has a pack.”
“Well, I guess we have nothing left to say.”
“Kelly! That’s not the plan we discussed-”
“She’s happy here, Ezy! You want to destroy that? That’s not what we do.”
Kelly dips his head. “I am sorry for what I said, but it was the only way to get my uncle out of your life.”
The apology is lacking. Perhaps it’s the undercurrent of anger in his voice.
“I appreciate that, but it didn’t work,” I say bluntly, annoyed with him. Devastated by him.
“Yes. I became aware of that,” Kelly murmurs. “All the same, you seem to be doing well. So, I guess, good luck, and we’ll make sure we don’t come back and bother you.”
I dig my nails into Keagan.
“Oh, sweetheart. Don’t you worry. He’s going to regret that. I promised I’d take care of you, didn’t I? Do you trust us?”
Do I trust them?
“Yes, I do.”
“Good. Let us handle it,” Keagan whispers in my ear.
Kelly stomps off, returning to his board and the gorgeous women in bikinis flocking around him.
Ezy hesitates and then shrugs. “I don’t want to make your life harder than it already is. Maybe Kelly’s right. We can just pretend we never met.”
I flinch hard.
“Strike two,” Keagan growls.
Gael stands there the longest, torn, but, in the end, with a sad wave, he turns and walks away as well.
“Strike three.”
Shale and Beau join us. We stay on the beach, watching them as they pack up and walk up to the hotel. And they don’t look my way again. Not even once.
I don’t matter to them, and I never have.
I’m not enough.
I’m broken.
Keagan holds me when I cry, and then, when it gets dark, they hand me into Nat’s care and disappear .