40. Gael
Chapter forty
Gael
G ael Aged 27
We win all the time. Kelly, Ezy, and I. The surfing tournaments are becoming monotonous. I’m losing interest.
Everything is dull and tedious.
I’ve started drinking too much. I know I should stop, but it just all feels so boring, so repetitive.
Ezy sits down heavily and takes the beer out of my hand. He drinks the rest of it and then sets it down.
“You almost drowned out there, Gael.”
I stare at my hands, not wanting to face him. “I was okay.”
“You took a risk. An unnecessary risk that you normally wouldn’t take.”
I shrug.
“What’s going on with you?”
“We’re never going to have an omega.”
Ezy stills.
I’ve finally said it. Thanks to Typhor Fucking Raines, our omega is in the wind, and she’s long gone, and our chances of ever finding her are slim to none.
“Do you resent Kelly?”
Did I blame Kelly? “No. I don’t blame him, this is his uncle’s fault.”
Ezy raises his hand to the guy working the bar. He returns with two shots and two whiskeys.
“It just hits me sometimes. We’re going to surf until we’re too old, and we’re going to just exist. All the hope is gone. She is gone.”
“We might find her one day.”
“And we might never.”
Ezy grabs my arm, and I turn to him, leaning on his shoulder.
“I just want to mourn her. Kelly only told us a month ago. I’m not okay. I thought…there was hope. Now, there’s nothing. Even if we do find her, why would she forgive him?”
Ezy is silent. He just slides his shot to me and quietly gets me drunk .
***
Present Day
I run my hands through my hair and shift my weight in that uncomfortable hospital chair. Only two people can visit at a time, so I’ve volunteered to stay out here.
It’s good. I need a chance to think.
My head is reeling with the numbers and information of Ezy’s estate. It’s massive. Bigger than even he knows. There is so much to go through and so much more that needs to be done.
I’m going to recommend he liquidate some of the estates he’s keeping. He doesn’t need fifteen of them. His family has also dabbled in commercial property and own some prime real estate.
The money is in several banks, some offshore. Luckily, whoever was the person handling the estate before kept immaculate records.
It’s just a lot.
And then this morning. All we could feel was her devastation, the quiet dying. She was withdrawing into herself, and there’s nothing I could think to say that would stop her, that would bring her back. I was helpless.
Her calling the Daane was a relief, no, her calling on us was a relief. Shale sits down beside me.
I turn my head and study him. “The things they say about her will leave scars. How we act will determine how deep.”
Shale just stares at me.
I shrug off the memories and turn away from him, watching the doctors wheel a man lying on a bed down the hallway.
“My brother died in front of me. Stabbing. He just stepped out into the guy’s way at the wrong time. Such a stupid mistake, but there it is. It happened. When the media finally found my parents, they blamed me. The media turned on me, then. They accused me of doing drugs, neglect, abuse, all the things that make everything worse. I loved Noah. He was mine. But my parents said it, and if they said there was smoke, there must have been a fire, right?”
I glance up, catching Shale’s eye.
“So, you ran.”
“Where else was there to go? I didn’t want to live in a world where my pain meant I was a monster. They poisoned my memory of him with hate. So I found an island, and I left it all behind.”
I puff my cheeks up and blow my breath out.
“And here we are,” I say bitterly. “Same foul world I left, and they have wasted no time reminding me why we would be happier on our island.”
Shale considers it carefully. “You don’t want to be here?”
“I don’t. I hate it, and I can feel myself unravelling. The anger and bitterness I left behind is returning. This place is terrible.”
“It’s too late to go back.”
I surge up out of my chair, pacing away from him. “Don’t you think I don’t know?” I hiss, angry at everything but him, but with nowhere to throw it but the alpha. “I realise we’re here to save her, to protect Kelly’s family’s legacy if we can, but I don’t have to like it. Maybe I’m allowed to have a meltdown. Maybe I can miss our lives. It was simple, but it was the life I chose.”
Shale stands up and snags my wrist and drags me down a couple of corridors and into a garden area. I pace around, my rage contained only by my skin, but it feels like it’s going to burst out of me.
“Gael.”
I growl at him. When he approaches, I fling out my hand.
“Stay away from me.”
He ignores me and steps into my space. I stiffen, uncomfortable and hating that his touch makes the rage fizzle.
“Are you ever going to truly let down those walls?”
“I did. I have.” Lies, all lies.
“No, you haven’t. You still are an island of one, otherwise, you wouldn’t find solace in a bottle. You’d go to your pack.”
I look away. “Of course, you know I’m drinking. Can’t do that. Everyone’s suffering.”
“It’s not your job to take care of everyone.”
“Then whose is it?”
“All of ours,” Aspyn says. “We all take care of each other.”
I turn and find Keagan, Beau, and Aspyn staring at us.
“I’m fine.” Another lie, and they all can see it.
Beau rolls his eyes. “That can’t be our battle cry when we go to war. I’m fine. It’s all good. I’m okay.”
Aspyn snorts. “Nat has to stay here for a couple of days, but we need to go and talk with the others.”
“Oh, boy, do we need to talk to the others,” Beau says and slams a hand to his forehead. “I can’t unhear that.”
Aspyn elbows him.
“Hey, she was graphic!”
Shale lets go of me, and we trail them back to the car.
“I t’s Typhor?” Kelly asks and sits down heavily.
“Yes, he went by the name Trey, and Nat fell hook, line, and sinker. I mean, she wasn’t obviously fucking Typhor, but the guy was literally hired by Typhor. Reports to him, follows his every command.”
Ezy hands the photo to me, and I look down, seeing the guy I recognise from the island. He was the dipshit in the white shirt. This idiot hurt Aspyn’s best friend. I’d like five minutes with him.
“Fucking hell. She just told him everything?”
I wince and look at Aspyn. She’s a bit pale but presses her lips together as she regards Kelly.
“It wasn’t her fault, Kelly. He drugged her. The only reason she got out is because Mael sent Edric to retrieve her.”
“Fuck, Aspyn. I know, I’m just concerned. Horrified that he would stoop this low.”
“She is a friend. She was worried about me.”
“I’m not saying she isn’t.” Kelly stops talking and stands up and stalks away from her. “I’m just saying she should have been more careful.”
Aspyn stands up, growling. “Don’t you talk about Nat like that!”
“Or what?”
Aspyn narrows her eyes, but the rest of us are staying out of it. “Do you agree with him?” She flings at me.
I hesitate and finally incline my head. “She didn’t use discretion. She just went off with him. It was dangerous, not just for her but you as well. It’s hurt you a lot. Do you just make this massive habit to forgive people who hurt you because you think you’re of so little value?” I ask curiously, but it comes out aggressive and bitter.
She recoils like I’ve hit her. “I forgave you.”
“Exactly. We did the unforgivable, and here we are, bonded. You should never have given us a second chance.” I stand up, I’m shouting now, but I can’t stop. “You should have dumped us on our asses and let us rot.”
“Gael!” Kelly hisses. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying she lets everyone treat her badly, but if they are people she cares about, she turns into a dragon. I’m saying you should care more about yourself. You should look at this,” I jab my hand down into the stack of newspapers, “and be angry. You should rage and rant and be hurt and let us help you. The way you said I should let you all help me.”
“What do you want from me?” Aspyn asks in a hushed voice.
“Stand up for yourself, Aspyn. Don’t let people kick you while you’re down. Tell Nat off. Tell us off.”
She looks down at the newspapers and turns away.
“I’ve been here, and I’ve seen this. They will find out about me next, and the rumours will get worse. Things for the pack will look worse, but I’m not going to run this time, and I’m not letting them treat me like this.”
“If we fight back, we look worse for Kelly,” Aspyn says quietly. “Did you think about that?”
I let out a roar of rage and storm away from the pack. I can’t get my calm back, and I cannot breathe in this place. All I can see is Noah. All I can hear are the vile words they spat at me.
I pace for a bit, but the doorbell rings, and without stopping to think about it, I go to the front door and yank it open.
The camera in my face takes me right back to the darkest of places. My chest locks up. It’s impossible to breathe. Noah is lying in the rain, the blood is pouring into the street, running into the gutter, taking parts of him that I’m trying to save. He murmurs something. I scream for help.
The screams of people and the roar of sirens that are too slow. Everyone is too busy running away from the guy with the knife. Noah looks up at me, his face contorting.
“It hurts.”
It’s not supposed to hurt.
I’m not supposed to lose him. It’s my job. I’m supposed to protect him. It’s my fault.
It’s my fault.
It’s-
“-your fault your brother Noah died. Where have you been?”
I don’t stop to think. All my focus is on the man in front of me, daring to say his name. Daring to bring it all back.
I launch myself at him and slam my fist into any part of him I can. I don’t think. And I don’t feel. All I can do is hold on. Lost is the torrent of rage and pain.
Doing what I couldn’t do back then.
Those chains that held me back are gone.
I’m Daane now.
I’m hauled back, and I turn, snarling, but Keagan throws me up against a wall, presses a thigh between my legs, and smashes our lips together. I taste blood, but then I’m tearing at him, pulling him towards me, needing more.
Keagan pulls away and turns his head, watching Aspyn’s slow limp to the front door. She looks at the wounded man and inhales, drawing up slightly.
“Get off my property.”
“I’m calling the cops.”
There is no one else, just the one reporter.
Aspyn laughs. The deep mocking sound sends delicious shivers through me.
“You call the cops, and you’ll disappear forever.”
He starts to laugh, but Shale and Beau appear at her back, and it’s suddenly choked off.
“Go now, and be lucky you can still walk. I would have broken your legs,” Beau says conversationally.
He must see something truly terrifying because I hear his feet on the gravel as he runs, and then the door is slammed closed, and Aspyn has turned to face us.
I pant as I struggle to hold all my emotions inside.
“Aspyn-”
She holds up her hand and glances back at Kelly. “Lock the front door. I want no visitors.”
“Done,” Kelly murmurs and kisses her head. “We’ll see you after.”
I watch as Beau, Ezy, Kelly, and Shale disappear, leaving me with Keagan and Aspyn.
“It’s not your fault, Gael.”
A tear rolls down my cheek, and I thrash against Keagan, but I can’t get free.
“It’s not your fault. It was an accident. A tragic and terrible accident. It could have happened to anyone.”
“You weren’t there.”
“No, but you told me, and I looked it up. It wasn’t your fault. They were wrong to blame you.”
I’m really crying now, hating it and everything, including the darkness that has stolen the light.
“What do you need, Alpha?” Her quiet whisper hits me where it hurts.
I still and then drop my head to my chest, ashamed, embarrassed, resigned. I’ve never been brave enough to ask Kelly or Ezy to do this for me.
“Pain. I need to hurt. I need to feel something other than this black hole of despair.” My raw whisper hits the air and turns it electric.
“Okay,” Aspyn says. “But there are rules. If you need to get free at any time, you say Daane. If you need to stop. If it’s too much, you will stop. If I or Keagan decide it’s too much, we’ll stop it.”
I lick my lips and nod.
“I need verbal consent.”
“I agree.”
Aspyn takes a deep breath and moves closer.
“Keagan, I want you to make him hurt.”
Keagan stares at her with hunger.
“I want you to own him. I want to hear him scream. Fuck him so hard he forgets his own name.”
Keagan prowls towards me. The fire in his eyes almost makes me want to take it back. But I don’t. The pain is too much.
Aspyn walks around us, her cane and footsteps clicking. “It is not your fault.”
Keagan pounces on me, tearing my shirt from me. I whirl away, but he hauls me back in and holds me against him, his hand wrapped around my throat.
“It was an accident,” Aspyn says loudly. “Wrong place, wrong time, but not even for one second your fault.”
A tear runs down my cheek, and I brush it away. Keagan simply shoves my pants down and grips my cock.
I’m harder than I think I’ve ever been.
“Everyone is wrong,” Aspyn says with so much compassion that I can’t look at her.
Keagan drags me to my knees and shoves his cock down my throat. I fight him, pushing back, but he pulls my hair and growls until I relax, taking all of him.
“We love you no matter what.”
I look at her out of the corner of my eye as she circles.
Keagan groans and pulls himself free. He throws himself on me.
I fight because I need to, but he overpowers me, rolling me onto my stomach on the marble floor. I growl, but Keagan just bites the back of my neck.
He waits. And waits.
I look up and find Aspyn staring at me, watching. As soon as I make eye contact, she smiles.
“We will always be on your side. And we will give you anything you need.”
She nods.
Keagan forces his way inside me. I arch, howling from the pain but the fullness. He’s ruthless, and when he starts fucking me, it’s everything I need.
The sound of his body clapping against mine, the stretch, the burn. His balls smashing against mine.
My cock aches, I need to come. I’m desperate for it, but Keagan just keeps pounding away, his whole body covering mine. He wraps his arms under my shoulders and drags himself up into me.
Every time I look up, Aspyn is there, watching with a soft smile. Saying words that heal, words that lead me back.
I’m a sobbing mess on the floor when Keagan does something unthinkable. He presses that hard ridge of flesh against my tight ring, presses harder, and thrusts, grinds, and, suddenly, his knot slips inside me.
I roar.
My toes curl, I can’t breathe, I thrust against the marble, soaking it in cum. His teeth are in my neck, holding me still, keeping me safe. Letting me fall apart. Letting me shatter.
And then he comes, marking my insides, making me his.
When I look up, I find the entire pack standing around our omega, watching us. And Keagan’s soft caress that promises everything will be okay.