41. Aspyn
Chapter forty-one
Aspyn
A spyn Aged 21
I keep my head down and ignore the kids who race along beside me, calling out.
With any luck, today, it will just be words they throw at me. Yesterday, it was rubbish. The day before, it was a rotten tomato.
I don’t want them to see that what they are doing is having an effect. I don’t want them to know that I’m biting back tears and struggling to breathe.
That children are terrifying.
I limp faster and wish that I hadn’t been so damn prideful. My father always said pride comes before a fall.
I don’t have my cane, and I’m not steady. I know it. The muscles are still tight from the heat I spent with Pack Daane.
One of the kids charges me, and I step back too quickly. My leg buckles, and I go down in a groaning heap. The cackles and malicious laughter of the kids explodes around me, but I don’t look up.
The problem with falling is once I’m down here, getting up again is incredibly hard. I struggle into a sit and try to find a position where I’ll be able to propel myself back up the rest of the way.
All around me are people standing at a safe distance, watching. Like I’m this cosmic joke. Even amongst the outcasts, I’m the worst.
I shove myself up, biting my lip against the pain, and stagger, only just keeping my balance, but it’s a near thing, and I can’t move yet.
Even though there’s a car behind me, I can’t move. And my stuff is on the ground.
I let out a low whine of distress. Perhaps I can. No, I can’t afford to leave it. I crouch down and grab as much as I can, shoving it into my bag, and then, with a superhuman effort that leaves me seeing spots, I stand up again.
The car honks, and I turn slightly, looking in the window. He looks familiar, but I can’t place him.
“Asypn?”
“Keagan?” I gasp in relief.
He sweeps in, glowering around at the gathered people, and picks up my crystals. In the next moment, I’m swung up into his arms.
“You don’t need to do this,” I whisper.
“Of course, I do. You never give me chances to rescue you. I’ll cherish the memory of it forever.”
He sounds so matter of fact that it takes me a moment to register his words.
But by then, we’re walking away.
“Wait!”
I look over my shoulder and spot the guy from the car. He stands up, reaching a hand out, his face slack with shock. I’m curious for a moment and then scared, so I don’t say anything. I just turn my head, burying my face in Keagan’s shoulders while the people of Black Valley get out of his way.
P resent Day
The press drags every secret we have out. The only relief is they are too scared of Shale, Keagan, and Beau to dig into them too much. But they pull out the reckless crimes of my deceased father.
They drag Kelly through the mud, pasting all his exes and fuck buddies on papers. Trying to create a divide, I’m sure.
They go after Ryn and Fate’s Destiny, accusing them of lying to the public for money. They are slammed by their peers and their concerts cancelled.
The day after, they go after Lia and the Mirakill Pack, listing a whole slew of crimes that occurred in Blackburn and pointing the finger squarely at the club, who comes under fire with raids from law enforcement. The packs disperse to deal with the threats, leaving the rest of us shell-shocked.
They expose Locke’s abuse for the entire world to see. I cried when I read that. It had me wavering. I spent an hour on the phone with Finn, who assured me that Locke didn’t want us to give up but also that they could not remain here, and they were sorry for it.
Bethany’s mother is brought up, and the tragic story of Pack Crow is twisted until it’s barely recognisable. I know this hurt Bethany, and she and pack Crow chose to retreat to Justice Farm to escape the awful things they were saying. She wept with such guilt that I couldn’t even be annoyed with her. I didn’t blame her at all.
Even Raider can’t escape them. He gets slammed with false stories of intimidation and tampering with the team’s victories. This is refuted on all levels by management of the Greene Demons, but after that, they go after Kit.
And to my shock and horror, when I thought we were ruined and there was nothing else they could do to hurt me, they went and dragged out an omega named Charis and announced her as Ezekial’s fiancée.
I’m shaken down to my bones. The horrible lies these people are saying have left me with a bitter taste in my mouth. I don’t know how to beat them.
Gael was right. They came at him again, too. Keagan and I held him that night and the next while those soul deep wounds bled once more. In those early hours lying there, I remember seeing him sitting in the car, staring at me. Another chance encounter that could have been.
We’re sitting in Ezekial’s bedroom, no one is speaking. I think we’re all in shock. I know I am. He explained about Charis and her age when his mother was suggesting it, and he vehemently refutes any relations with Charis. He’s never even met the adult version of her.
“What do we do?”
The question comes from Ezekial. He’s not taking this well, but being here in this house has been slowly whittling his confidence away. He’s fading. We all are.
Even Kelly is disappearing under the weight of responsibility and the horror of his uncle’s crimes and reach.
I stand up and limp out of the room, needing space to breathe away from the oppressive depression that is destroying us.
From deeper in the house, I hear Lia scream. I close my eyes and wonder what it is now. It takes me a bit to get to them, but when I do, I find her enfolded in the Mirakill club’s arms. They’d returned this morning, having decided they had to stay here because the raids are relentless.
“What are they saying now?” I ask softly, leading them back to the front of the house where the rest of the pack is gathering.
Ianto holds out a phone. I take it and read about the sick beta abandoned in her house. They go into a lot of detail. They talk about how she seduced her mother’s boyfriend.
I whirl around when the front door slams open with a huge crash that has me jolting painfully. Shale growls menacingly at the stranger silhouetted in the door frame.
A huge biker with a fierce scowl storms in and opens his arms. “Come here!”
Lia flies past me and into the arms of the stranger.
“Dad!” Bailey snaps. “I said wait for me. You can’t just barge into another alpha’s house!”
“You were moving too slow, and my Lia needs me.”
I rub my hand over my face, and I guess the guy in the article would be this one. Wait, dad? Oh, I see it now.
I feel sick at what they are insinuating.
Fuck sake. What is wrong with these people?
Nat hobbles in and looks at Lia. “Is he the one she’s supposedly fucking? He’s too ugly to be part of Mirakill.”
Valen snorts and eases closer to Nat. “I like this one.”
“You can keep her,” I snap.
Kelly marches into the giant foyer with Ezy on his heels. But the others, my Daane, stay quietly watching from the walls.
I know what’s going to happen.
I can see the promise in their eyes. We can only delay their retribution for so long before they lose it, before they take the wheel. Nobody knows them like I do, but I can see the signs that Daane are losing their patience.
Beau’s eyes are fairly flaming, and Keagan has gone cold. But Shale’s rage pulses off him in waves of aggression that call to me like a moth to a flame.
We just need to ask. We just need to call for them.
This isn’t their world nor their fight, but they’ll finish it.
There’s a knock on the door, and I edge closer and pull it open while everyone’s busy.
A man stands on the other side. “Are you Aspyn?”
“I am.”
He smiles. “You fucking whore.”
The box he throws on me is too liquidy. I have a moment of regret, and then I’m covered in something that has me heaving. It drips down my face and through my hair.
I hear my alphas roar, but I slip on the wetness, and I go down hard.
I scream.
I forget about the smell, the grossness.
I forget everything but the white lightning that is running like a current through every nerve in my leg.
I arch, twisting in agony, unable to stop the contortions. I hear photos going off, and then Shale arrives. The rage of my alpha cocooning me in safety.
“Kelly, get them out or I’ll kill them all.”
Kelly thunders a command.
The pain ebbs, and, instead of screaming, I roll on my side and curl up tight in a ball and sob.
“Fuck!” Beau whispers. “Come on, Cher. Let me pick you up, we can go get in a nice warm bath, and I’ll dope you up on your painkillers and kill anyone whoever looks at you sideways.”
“I want to go home!” I wail.
Beau’s hand pauses on my shoulder. “I know, but you’ve got this. You’re so strong. You just need a little love right now.”
“No, I want to go home. I hate it here. It hurts.”
“Nope, we’re not doing this,” Keagan growls. “Out the way, Beau.”
I’m lifted into Keagan’s arms, and he takes me away from the nightmare.
My sobs continue, but they fade as my exhaustion grows. Keagan runs a hot bath and gets in with me. He washes me clean and empties the water before filling it up again and sitting behind me, his hands stroking lazy paths up and down my body.
I listen to his heartbeat.
“It’s going to be okay.”
Beau and Gael come in and sit on the edge of the tub. But I keep my eyes closed, and they leave without saying anything.
Shale comes in and stands there. I can feel his eyes on me.
“Sit up and take these.”
“No,” I say. I always resist taking painkillers.
“Aspyn, you need to sleep and rest. Take the pills and let us look after you.”
I peel open my eyes, feeling a hundred years old and so ugly it’s almost impossible to face him.
“Open your mouth.”
I open my mouth, and he puts the tablets on my tongue and then dribbles water in. I swallow, but before I can ask, Keagan picks me up, wraps me in a towel, and carries me through to the bedroom.
We lay on the bed side by side, staring at each other. Gael comes in and lies beside me.
I close my eyes and let the painkillers do their magic, floating on a cloud.
“They have spread the photos everywhere. The things they are saying…I can’t get them to stop. I’ve tried, no one is listening. They are accusing her of being an addict now.”
“Do you want to leave?”
“I can’t leave. He will kill her. He’ll destroy us.”
The conversation drifts away from me then, and I hear Kelly’s distant, distressed words through my mind over and over.
But it doesn’t mean anything.
It’s all a big mess.
I want to go home. It hurts too much.
I dream about my dad and Cassie. They come to me, and Mum is with them.
Then I dream of that giant black wave pouring inky black evil across the world, and I wake up gasping.
I look around, unsure of where I am and what’s going on. It’s the middle of the night. The room is dark and empty. Where is my pack?
I get up and test my leg. It hurts but not too bad. When I put my hand to my thigh, I the burning scent of the pain relief cream I like to use.
Someone put it on me while I was sleeping.
I limp out of the room, following the tug of the bond until I find my alpha sitting on the porch staring at the dark gardens.
“Shale?”
He turns and opens an arm for me to go and fall into his hug. He carefully maneuvers me onto his lap.
“I didn’t-”
“Don’t tell me you didn’t mean it. I know you better than anyone else. You meant it. You want to go home. The city doesn’t feel right anymore. It’s not home.”
I sniff and turn my face into his collar. “I don’t know where home is,” I admit in a tiny voice. “All I know is that you are what makes me happy. I know he’s doing this for me, but it’s hurting all of us. None of us are happy here. We’re not a city pack.”
“But?”
“But if this is what we have to do to stop Typhor, then we should do it.” I force a smile.
Shale kisses my shoulder and sighs. I don’t like the sound of it. I don’t like the cold breeze or the lack of stars. Everything feels wrong.
“I want you to go home.”
The words fall between us, heavy and more painful than anything he’s ever said to me.
I stare at him. “What?”
“I want you to go back to the island without us.” Shale reaches for my hands and threads our fingers together. “Sonny and Mitch are going to take care of you until we come back.”
I shake my head. “No way.”
“It’s not really a request, Aspyn.”
I go cold. What is he saying? Tears burn in my eyes, and I struggle to breathe as I start to sob.
“I’m sending you back tonight. You’ll be safer there than you would here.”
“You can’t be serious, Shale, please.”
I pull away, standing up, only to turn and find the rest of the pack there.
“We will come for you. As soon as it’s done, we’ll come back for you.”
“You don’t throw pack away!” I shout, fighting my way free of his lap. “We do it together.”
“You are our weakness,” Kelly says simply.
“They will continue to use you to hurt our chances at beating Typhor,” Shale explains and reaches out to brush my hair back from my face.
I stare at them all, one after the other. “So, I’m useless?”
“That’s not what we said. You are in pain and continuously getting hurt. We’re removing you from the line of fire,” Shale says calmly.
“This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, and I’m a grown woman. You can’t just send me away.”
“As your alpha, I can, though,” Shale murmurs.
I turn stricken eyes on him. “Don’t do this.”
“I’d do anything to protect you, Aspyn. Even and including this. You and Gael are leaving in an hour.”
I look at Gael, who is slumped in defeat. His eyes are swollen, and there is nothing happy about him.
“You can’t do this,” I whisper.
“We can and we are. You’re going. Nat needs you. Take her back home and wait for us.”
“NO!” I howl.
“This is what we do to keep you safe.”
“You can’t do this to me! I need you. I need all of you. Please, Shale, please, I’ll do better, I’ll be better. Please don’t send me away.”
“Aspyn, enough!” Shale snaps. “We, as a pack, voted. You are suffering here, you are withering away. It’s making you sick. We need to stay, but you are going home with Gael while we take care of this asshole.”
I shake my head, tears streaming down my cheeks.
“You’re distracting, and you’re making it harder than it needs to be,” Kelly says softly. “You’re being a burden to us.”
I recoil, slamming hard into the wall I’ve backed up against. I’m a burden?
My whole world stops and crumbles. All my fight, all resistance, crumbles and falls like sand through my fingers. They are right. I’m nothing but a burden.
“Okay,” I whisper.
Shale pulls me into his arms, but I can’t feel anything. Just the cold.