10. Darren
DARREN
First I’ll fix the kitchen sink.
Then I’ll pick out a ring.
Not because my priorities are out of order, but because the jewelry store doesn’t open until ten.
Katie’s sleeping in the bedroom, passed out after a night of passionate fucking.
Actually, the word fucking doesn’t do it justice. What we did was more than sex. We bonded. We shared. I broke all her walls down and she demolished mine, too. And she shared another first with me, something I thought I’d never get another chance to do after I screwed everything up in high school.
The years without Katie have been lonely. Lonelier than I even realized. I didn’t know how cold I was until I felt her warmth again and was reminded of how she brings me back to life.
She makes me want to take risks. And love is always a risk. I know this better than most because of the things I saw my parents go through. Two people who probably should have gotten a divorce a long time ago but won’t, because of their “values.”
Right. Values . Those same values that cause my father to cheat on my mother, and for my mother to look the other way as long as he continues to deposit his considerable paycheck in their shared checking account?
My mother claims they’ve figured out something that works for them. But when I look at them, all I see is everything that I never want for myself. I don’t want a fake arrangement. I don’t want to leave my house in the morning knowing I’m about to betray the one woman I vowed to be loyal to.
As a man, my word is my bond. And from now on, my heart belongs to Katie. It always has. And we’re going to make it official, just as soon as she’ll let me.
I’ve never been so determined in my life.
“I didn’t even tell you that it was broken.”
Her soft voice is behind me. I quickly climb to my feet, dropping my tools on the ground.
“I was going to make coffee,” I explain. “Then I noticed this and got distracted.”
“You don’t have to fix things while you’re here as my guest, you know,” she smiles.
Her red hair is messy in the back and her face is clean and free of any makeup, making her look a bit younger, a bit more innocent.
Even though after last night, Katie is less “innocent.” At least, if you’re going by a traditional sort of definition.
In my mind, Katie’s still innocent. Just as sweet and pure in her heart as she’s always been.
And me? I can only hope to deserve her. The difference between now and high school, is that now I know I’m not like my father. That I don’t have to be him. I can be the kind of man Katie needs.
“Are you okay?” I ask her, my brow furrowing as I think about last night. Sure, I enjoyed myself. Of course I fucking did. Getting to make love to Katie is all I’ve ever wanted. Now I can die a happy man, knowing I’ve felt those soft curves yielding beneath my palms.
But did she enjoy it, too? Was I too rough? Did I go too hard?
“I’m fine,” she says. “You don’t have to be so worried. I would have told you if something was wrong. And I’m not that fragile, you know!”
To me, you are. The most fragile, most important thing in my life.
Katie can’t understand that. She’s always wanted to be strong. Always insisting on standing on her own two feet and going her own way. She went to fashion school even though just about everyone in her life told her it was the wrong path. No job security. No money.
But she did it anyway. And then she came here and opened her own business. At her age, being a successful owner of a small business is unheard of. But she did it.
So I get it. I understand how Katie could feel like I don’t have to be worried about her. But I do. Because she’s important. Because she matters to me more than anything else.
I gesture to the sink, which is still half taken apart behind me.
“I’ll have to get a part from the store to fix it,” I tell her. “I’m going to do that now. I’ll be right back, so hands off the duct tape.”
Katie holds her hands up, palms out, with a grin.
“No duct tape. I promise.”
I nod. And then because I can’t help myself, I grab her by the hips and whirl her around, pressing her against the edge of the counter and kissing her roughly. She tastes like peppermint toothpaste and sex.
“Coffee,” she gasps when I’m through claiming her mouth. “I need coffee before I can do anything else. Even that.”
I kiss her again.
“Have your coffee,” I tell her. “I’m going to the hardware store. I’ll be back.”
Okay. Technically this is a lie. But I can’t exactly tell her that I want to pick out a ring this morning, can I?
I’ll get her a better one later. Bigger diamond, better band, whatever. She can design it herself, customize everything. For now, though, I’m getting her something quick. Something to put on her pretty little finger so that every man who looks her way will understand that she belongs to me.
The sooner I get her down the aisle, the sooner we can move onto my other plans for us. Plans that include knocking her up as many times as she’ll let me.
I feel like I’ve waited all my life for her. And now that I’ve finally got her, I’m going to make the most of every fucking day. I don’t care if it’s fast, I don’t care what anyone else might say on the matter.
Least of all my father.
That’s why I’m so annoyed to see him at the hardware store. Yes, I really did need something from the hardware store. I just neglected to tell Katie I’ve got another stop before I come back to her place.
Dad’s right at the exit, about to go inside. once he finishes his cigarette of course.
Yes, he’s a cardiovascular surgeon who smokes cigarettes. It’s stupid and makes no fucking sense. Then again, neither does cheating on the woman who gave him children and made his house a home.
I’m on speaking terms with Dad right now, but that hasn’t always been the case.
Really, it’s only because of Mom and Dot that I reunited with him a few Thanksgivings ago.
I hate to see a woman cry, and because of my feud with my father, I was making two of the most important women in my life cry.
I felt like I was ruining the holidays. So I shook his hand and told him it’s water under the bridge.
It’s not true, of course.
But I’m trying. Maybe one day, I’ll get there. Maybe if I keep moving, one day I’ll finally arrive at that magical place my therapist calls forgiveness.
Until then, the unexpected sight of him is threatening to ruin my morning. Which is saying something, because up until now, this was the best damn morning of my life.
“Darren, what are you doing here?” Dad tries to discreetly put out the cigarette beneath his shoe, which is stupid. We all know he never quit. And the smoke that lingers in the air between us is a dead giveaway.
“PVC joiner,” I explain curtly. “One of my properties has a leak.”
He nods, a shadow crossing his face. I know that my chosen path in life isn’t what he wanted for me.
He dreamed of one of us going into medicine, preferably me as his eldest and the son.
Some kind of macho idea that his pride and joy, the son who is the spitting image of him, should follow in his footsteps.
To Dad, I was only ever an extension of him. It shocked him when I was angry at him for cheating on our mom. Shocked him again when I said no to school halfway through my sophomore year. I dropped out and became an apprentice for a local master carpenter, then moved to Wild Bronco and got to work.
Since then, I’ve done well for myself. Well enough to buy multiple commercial properties. I buy them, fix them up, and lease them out to local Wild Bronco businesses. Everyone wins.
Now I’m actually doing pretty well for myself and am on track to one day earn just as much as some early career surgeons do. But that’s not enough for good old Dad.
It’ll never be enough.
You’re not him. That’s what my firecracker said. And she’s right.
“I’ll see you around, Dad,” I say.
Though true, I’m not sure when I plan to see him. Whenever Dot calls me and chews me out for avoiding family functions, I suppose.
Maybe family functions will be a little easier with Katie by my side. We’ll have our own little family within my larger one, creating our own happiness.
Dad looks like he’d like to say more, but I just keep walking to my truck. I’ve got one more stop to go, and I’d like to get back to my girl as soon as possible.