Chapter Three
Wes
Winter in Belle Argo, Florida, is the best time to run.
When the weather is in the forties and fifties, there is finally enough chill in the air.
Lower humidity so you don’t feel like you’re breathing water.
I force myself to get out year-round, but running on the beach with this cool breeze? That’s the sweet spot.
Which is why I want to fucking punch something when my phone rings.
“Mom?”
I slow to a walk, the tension that had bled out during my first few miles already returning. I love my mom. I do. She can be a lot, though.
Her shouty voice shatters the beauty of the sun rising over the water and the sand beneath my feet. It’ll be a cold day in hell before she admits her hearing is going.
“Sweetheart, I’ve been worried. You haven’t called.”
Say it louder, Mom. Not everyone in the state heard you. I pull the phone away from my ear.
“I’ve been busy, Mom. Gina wanted me to move my stuff out.” Which I haven’t done. But in between living at my fucking job and trying to find a new place, it’s been enough.
“I still don’t like it that you left her. Gina’s lovely, and the two of you have been together forever. Why can’t you work things out?”
It’s a bit late for that. “The papers get signed soon, Mom. We haven’t gotten along in forever. We’re roommates who annoy each other.”
“You’re what? Blue states?”
Big surprise, telling her to get her hearing checked didn’t go over any better than news of my divorce. I’ve quit trying with her. On many fronts.
“Never mind. How’s Philly? ”
“Cold. I’ve been thinking maybe I should move closer to you and Fallon.”
With clenched fingers, I use the phone beat myself in the forehead. “Ma. You love Philly.”
“It’s lonely here. I haven’t seen Fallon in months, and it’s been longer since I’ve seen you. You could visit more, you know.”
Anyone who has ever felt jealous about not being the preferred sibling? They don’t know how fucking good they have it. Fallon’s the baby of the family, but I raised him more than Mom did, so they’ve never been close. He doesn’t have the same baggage with her.
Me, on the other hand? I’d be grateful if she could go a single week without needing something from me. A favor, a visit, or advice she’s only going to ignore.
One phone call without her asking me to visit when I can barely fucking afford gas.
“I’m working on it. Money’s tight now.”
She makes a noise that could either mean she’s dismissing what I said, or she didn’t hear me at all. Honestly, I’m worried about her living all the way up north on her own. At the same time, I don’t want her to be here .
Which makes me an asshole. But if a parent was never there when you needed them, the expectation to be there for them in their old age is a burden. I’m already struggling under the weight of what everyone else wants from me.
I half listen as she prattles on about her church group and the fundraiser they’re having, while I send a text to my brother.
Wes: Hey, can we meet up at the gym tomorrow? Or maybe get coffee? Need to talk about Mom.
Still no answer. Guess I can’t blame him. He’s prickly with me ever since I went meddling in his love life because I couldn’t fix my own.
Karma’s hitting me hard right now.
Down the beach I spot the objects of my recent… I don’t know what to call Adam and Troy exactly. Obsession feels simple, too light a word. Fixation. Infuriation. Humiliation.
They must be staying at the hotel again. These two twenty-something escorts infuriate me even more than my brother’s snotty new boyfriend. I also can’t stop thinking about them. Until the day they got their hands on me in that locker room, I’d only been intimate with one person.
Nothing in my entire relationship with Gina felt as intense and charged as that one bold and dirty hand job.
That’s got to be why I can’t get them off my mind. Maybe it was their brashness. Their rudeness. Their audacity.
Maybe it was how fucking hard I came.
The first person I was with after Gina was always likely to be memorable, I suppose.
Probably more memorable since it was all so unexpected.
Being with two men was never something I anticipated.
If I’d had money to bet, I would have wagered it all on the assumption that the rest of my orgasms would be solo efforts.
Maybe if I got lucky, a nice single mom who was looking for companionship without commitment.
The worst part? Even though I would bet all of my meager worldly possessions that they were only screwing with me, I felt more alive with those two young men surrounding me and jerking me off than I did in the past few years of my marriage.
As I walk through the employee entrance of the Premiere hotel, I’m sweaty and exhausted.
If I run into Max, he’ll probably hassle me for looking like shit in front of guests, but I’m not wearing my name badge and I’m sure as hell not the only person sweating in this place.
The hotel has a gym and a heated pool, after all.
Passing through the brightly lit, multi-story lobby, I wave to our event coordinator, who’s making notes at the front desk. “Hey, Eliott. How’s your mom doing?”
“Better. Thanks. Getting her strength back after that hip surgery.” He looks left and right, seeming nervous. “Hey, so, are you doing okay? I heard Max has been coming down hard on you lately. Sorry about that.”
“Why? Is it your fault?” Immediately, I regret my tone. “Sorry. Tired.” I worked all night, and then I ran four miles and then had to dodge these two sex workers I keep thinking about . As one does. “My brain’s fried. I appreciate the concern.”
He gives me a sympathetic smile. “Don’t sweat it. I sure as hell was no fun to be around at first after Kiki passed. Why do you think I stuck with one-night stands and escorts for a while?”
Wait. “Didn’t you move in with someone recently? ”
Grinning, he pulls off his glasses to buff them on his shirt sleeve. “Alexis.” He leans in. “The escort I was seeing, actually. So much for some no-strings fun, but she really gets me. So, yeah, she’s moving into my place.”
I take a quick look around to make sure nobody’s close enough to hear us. “She’s not still…” I can’t think of a polite way to express my concern. It’s not a polite thing to ask. I’m curious as hell, though. “Is she?”
“I mean…yeah. She is. For now, anyway.” To my surprise, his grin widens.
“Honestly, I kind of like it. All these rich assholes throwing money and clothes and jewelry at her, and I’m the one she comes home to?
Makes me feel like I’m something special.
Powerful. We accept each other for who we are.
Throw in a smidgen of jealousy, and the sex is crazy explosive.
Might sound strange, but we’re happy. Everyone deserves that, right? ”
On the one hand, I’m not sure how his woman fucking other men feels powerful. Not once did I feel that way when Gina cheated. On the other hand, I’m envious. Explosive sex? Acceptance? Happy ?
Sounds nice.
“Of course. Yeah. Right. That’s great. Congrats, man.” I knock on the surface of the front desk, walking backward as a cue that I’m taking off.
“Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it, is all I’m saying.”
“Oh, I’m not. Not…knocking it. No judgment here.” OK, there’s a little judgment, mostly aimed at myself. If I stand here too long he might see all the buttons he’s unknowingly pushing and call me out. “Glad you’re happy. Really.”
“Thanks. Oh, by the way, you should know Gina’s been looking for you.”
Lovely. “Appreciate the heads-up. I’ll catch up with her in a bit.”
My shift ended at six a.m. According to the giant clock on the lobby wall, it’s nearly eight now. As the daytime restaurant manager, she’s probably helping to get breakfast going. If I hustle, maybe I can get upstairs and into a shower before she spots me.
In a closet where we keep spare amenities, I grab a new tube of toothpaste. If I have to spend most of my waking hours in this place, the least they can do is give me some free stuff.
I’m at the elevators when high heels click behind me. “There you are.”
So close. “Gina.” Does my smile look as strained as it feels? “Heard you were looking for me.”
“I need you to get the rest of your stuff out of the house.”
For fuck’s sake. “Yeah. I already talked to Max.”
“He said you were a dick about it. I wanted to be sure this wasn’t one of those times when you dragged your feet on something to be spiteful.”
Oh, that’s absolutely happening. “You don’t think maybe I’m entitled to keep a few boxes of belongings in the house that I’m still paying the mortgage on while I find someplace to live other than a room with a double bed and a view of the hotel parking lot? ”
She scowls. “You agreed I should be the one to stay in the house.”
I rub the back of my neck, which feels as if it’s strung with steel cables. “No, Gina, I didn’t agree. I had a lawyer with less fight in him than a baby bird, because that was all I could afford, and you had a lawyer that our boss, who you also happen to be fucking, helped you pay for.”
We weren’t always like this with each other. What we are now makes my chest hurt. There was a time when we clung to each other through the hard days and made each other laugh. Now, we’re practically strangers.
“You don’t think I deserve that place after everything I went through for you?”
I’ve pissed her off. I’m good at that lately.
Part of me is pleased to be able to strike a blow when she’s struck at me so many times. But there’s also pain making her voice tremble, so on top of the guilt I feel for blowing off my mother, now I feel guilty for attacking my wife.
Not wanting to fight, I take a step back from the elevator and turn toward the stairs. “Yeah, Gina. You deserve all the compensation for having to put up with me.”
She opens her mouth, but I don’t give her time to reply, slipping into the stairwell like an asshole. She won’t bother to follow. Not in those shoes.