Chapter 14
Low Places
Wheeler
Mollie grabs my elbows and lifts me off the toilet. Then she pulls me in for a tight hug.
“It’ll be all right.” She’s running her hand over my back again. “We’ll get through this, Wheeler, I promise.”
I let out one of those sobs that racks my whole body. It’s an animal noise, loud and awful and embarrassing.
Then again, I’m with my best friend. No need to be embarrassed.
“How could I be so stupid?”
“You weren’t stupid. You’re on birth control, remember? It just didn’t work the way it was supposed—”
“Hellooooo! Anybody home? Saw the four-wheeler out front, and I thought I’d sneak in for a little afternoon dee-light.”
Except I now have every reason to be embarrassed, because Cash just walked into the cabin.
My heart thuds in time to his heavy footsteps.
“Oh God,” I whisper.
Mollie slams the door shut. “Cash, I need a minute!” Then she whispers back to me, “He’s not supposed to be home for another hour. I’m so sorry.”
“You okay?”
I hear him draw to a stop outside the door.
“A minute, please,” Mollie calls.
I don’t want to sob again, but I can’t control it. I’m scared and I’m sad and…yeah, just so fucking scared.
Duke’s going to be so angry.
Wait, why is that my first thought?
Ah yes. Because the only emotion my father ever expressed was anger. If we were lucky, he’d only bark at us when we were kids. If we were unlucky, he’d bark and bite.
I grew up terrified of him. I know rationally that Duke’s given me absolutely no reason to be scared of him too. He’s not an angry person, and he’s not mean. But try telling that to my nervous system, which is currently completely shot.
Mollie holds me tighter. “Oh, sweetie.”
“Wheeler? Is that you?” Cash’s voice is urgent. “Are you hurt? What’s going on?”
“I’m…fine?” I say thickly.
“We’re fine, Cash,” Mollie adds. “Just—a moment, please?”
“Y’all take all the time you need. But you got me worried.”
My heart clenches. I pull back, meeting Mollie’s eyes. “If you want me to go—”
“What?” She frowns. “Of course I don’t want you to go.
You shouldn’t be alone right now, Wheeler.
Here.” She uses her thumbs to wipe away my tears.
“Give me a sec to kick my dear husband’s ass to the curb.
” Turning, she reaches for the door and opens it just enough to stick her head through the crack. “We need some privacy, Cash.”
“Okay,” he replies slowly. “Is there anything I can do, or—”
“You can go back to doing your cowboy things, please and thank you.”
Cash is a smart guy. He knows better than to ask what we’re doing or why we need said privacy. But he’s more than a little overprotective of his wife, especially now that she’s pregnant—holy shit, I’m pregnant too—so I get why he hesitates.
“Check in with me in a bit, then?” he asks. “Just so I know y’all are still okay?”
“Of course.” Mollie opens the door a little wider so she can lean out to give her husband a peck on the lips. “Thank you for understanding.”
But when she falls back, she stumbles into me and immediately turns around to apologize. The door stays open for a split second. Just long enough for me to lock eyes with Cash. They’re the same shade of cobalt as Duke’s.
These cowboys all look so much alike.
I see the flare of panic in Cash’s eyes as they rake over my face. No doubt I’m puffy and pink from all the crying I’ve been doing.
Then his gaze moves to the vanity.
The tests are right there, the blue crosses definitely visible from where he stands.
His eyes go wide as they move back to me. A beat of silent, searing understanding moves between us. I have no idea what Duke told his brothers about our weekend in Aspen. Did he say anything at all? Mollie swore up and down that she didn’t say a word to Cash, and I trust her with my life.
Judging by the gleam of understanding in Cash’s eyes, he knows Duke and I hooked up. My pulse skips several beats. What does it mean that Duke told his brothers about us? What did he say? Does he miss me?
Why does any of that matter? Your relationship with Duke is purely platonic now.
Only these tests might throw a wrench in my carefully laid plans to be just friends with Duke. We’ll have to talk. A lot. Somehow I know he’d rather die than leave me to deal with this alone.
I have to tell him. Especially now that Cash knows, because judging by the grave concern in this man’s expression, he definitely knows I’m pregnant with his brother’s baby.
“Please don’t say anything,” I blurt. “We—I literally just found out, and I don’t know—I’m going to tell Duke, but I need a minute to get my thoughts together. More than a minute.”
Cash frowns, lines appearing in his deeply tanned face. “I won’t say a thing. But I’m here for y’all, Wheeler. If there’s anything you need—if you do want me to help you tell him or you need some of those ginger candies that Mollie likes—”
“Those are good.” Mollie nods. “They help some with the nausea.”
My eyes flood with heat all over again. I close them. “That’s very kind of you, Cash. Thank you. I’m okay for now. Just—yeah, I definitely wasn’t expecting this to happen. It’s a bit of a shock.”
“No shit,” Cash replies with a scoff. “But these things happen more than you think, so…”
He’s talking about the pregnancy scare he and Mollie had when they first started dating. She didn’t end up being pregnant, but the experience did bring them closer together.
I doubt that will be the case with me and Duke. It took a minute for Cash and Mollie to open up to each other, but once they did, it was over for both of them. They were saying “I love you” to each other weeks into their relationship.
A few weeks after that, they were engaged.
So yeah, a bit of a different story than the one I have with Duke.
Mollie starts closing the door. “We’ll be out soon, Cash. I’ll holler if we need you.”
“All right.” He nods, running a hand through his hair. It’s matted from the Stetson he undoubtedly just took off and hung on the rack by the front door. “Just—I’m thinking of you, Wheeler.”
“Thanks.” Goddamn these cowboys and their manners and the way they care and just—
Ugh, I’m crying all over again.
“But you’re really going to tell Duke, right?” Mollie asks, closing the door with a gentle thump.
“He deserves to know, so yes.” I wring my hands. “Mollie, what are we gonna do?”
She wraps me in a hug. “First, we’re gonna dry these tears. Then, we’re gonna get you some snacks, because eating helps. It will at least make you feel a little less like dying. Then, we talk about next steps, okay?”
“Okay.” I blow out a breath and shake out my hands, looking up at the ceiling. “Thank God I have you, Mollie.”
“Thank God we have each other.” She gently nudges me with her hand. “You know, Duke may not be your guy, but he is a good guy.”
“He is a good guy. A really good guy who’s about to get some really bad news.”
Mollie frowns, running her hands up and down my arms. “Y’all will figure this out. One thing at a time, okay? Let’s go get you some crackers. Some cheese too if you think you can keep it down. And Patsy keeps a supply of Gatorade on hand. Does that sound good?”
“Sounds great.” I manage a tight smile before pulling her in for another hug. “I love you.”
“I love you too, friend.”
I can barely breathe around the tightness in my throat.
Today started out so well. Sales at Bellamy Brooks are booming.
Payroll ran overnight, depositing hefty sums into our checking accounts.
It feels so great to have money after many, many, many years of barely scraping by.
My parents lent us money, but they started turning off the spigot when it became clear that I definitely wasn’t going to law school.
Today, though, I had a decent conversation with Mom, who seems to be doing better.
Then this happens, and suddenly my world is turned upside down. A flare of anger ignites inside my breastbone. Thanks, universe, for knocking me back down after I’d just dusted myself off and gotten on my feet.
But really, I have no one to blame but myself.
Myself and Duke’s delicious Wrangler butt. And his wit. His filthy mouth too, and his kindness, and his interest in me and my business and my life…
There was no resisting any of that, was there? Not when I was snowed in with him and scared out of my mind that I was experiencing my last hours on earth.
“I think I need to go back to Dallas,” I blurt as Mollie and I climb into the ATV. “Just for a little while. Just to get my head on straight. I’m worried…”
Mollie looks at me. “You’re worried about what, Wheeler?”
That I’ll run into Duke, and he’ll see that I’m upset. I’m worried I’ll drop this bomb on him but he’ll still be wonderful, and I’ll say things—do things—I shouldn’t.
I need to come up with a plan of action before I talk to Duke. That way, I’ll be able to focus on what’s best for me and my future first. I definitely didn’t plan on having a baby anytime soon. Sure, I think about having kids in a maybe-someday kind of way. I do want them.
But I also don’t want to end up like my parents. Settling down with someone just because I got pregnant—having a baby that wasn’t planned, that isn’t necessarily wanted—that’s not how my story is going to go.
I know what I don’t want. I just need to figure out what I do want.
“I’m worried I won’t be able to think clearly if I’m here,” I say carefully. “These cowboys…they have a way of distracting you, you know?”
Mollie chuckles. “You sure? My doctor cleared me to travel again if you want me to come with you.”
I shake my head. “I’ll be okay. Haines is in town because his semester just ended, so I’ll have him.”
“Oh good. You sure?”
“Yeah. I just think I need a few days to figure all this out.”
Mollie ponders my words for a second, her hands on the wheel. “You know I’ll support you in whatever choice you make, right?”
“Right.”
“But I’m telling you, don’t keep this from Duke for too long. He’s gonna want to be there for you.”
More tears, because I know she’s right. “I won’t. I promise.”
“I’m really sorry you’re so upset, Wheeler.” Now Mollie looks like she’s going to cry. “I hate seeing you like this. Promise to stay in touch?”
Reaching across the front seat, I loop my pinkie through hers. “I promise. And you promise me you won’t say a word. Cash too.”
She zips up her mouth with her free hand. “Our lips are sealed.”
“Okay,” I say, even though I don’t feel okay at all.