Chapter 15
First Calls and Fuckups
Duke
“Dude, watch out,” Sawyer snaps.
Blinking, I glance over my shoulder to see my brother and his horse glowering at me. Did we just cut them off?
Yeah, we definitely cut them off. Giving my reins a tug, I fall in line beside him. “Shit, I’m sorry.”
“You okay? You seem a little—”
“Brain-dead.” Ryder trots up on my other side. Despite the abundant afternoon sunshine, he’s not wearing sunglasses, so I can see the concern in his eyes clear as day. It makes my stomach hurt. “Seriously, now I’m worried. Something happen?”
Pretty sure I fell a little in love with a woman who doesn’t want me, and now I can’t stop thinking about her.
Will I ever connect with someone like that again?
I can’t stop thinking about all the cool shit Wheeler and I could do together.
The cool places we could visit. Keeps me up at night, wondering what we’re missing out on.
Maybe that’s why I’ve felt so wired since we got back from Aspen.
I have to drink gallons of coffee to remain upright during the day.
“No.” I do my damnedest to keep my expression neutral. “Yes. I don’t know.”
Of course my brothers asked me a million questions about what went down in Colorado when I got back. Felt wrong to kiss and tell, though, so I just said that Wheeler and I enjoyed our time and let that be that.
My brothers aren’t stupid. Especially Ryder. He’s read between the lines. But really, what else is there to say? Wheeler and I did enjoy our time. She’s not interested in anything beyond a weekend fling, though, so now we’re back to being just friends.
Less than that. Acquaintances, because I see her less than I ever did. I know she’s visited the ranch often, because I’ll see her car parked outside the New House. But I never actually see her, which is strange. I can’t shake this…unsettled feeling I have.
It sucks, but there’s nothing I can do to change that. I tried. I’ve texted her a bunch since we’ve been back, and I’ve even called her a few times. Just making sure she’s okay. I know there’s a lot going on with her family and her job.
I also can’t wrap my head around the fact that she doesn’t want to explore the amazing chemistry we have. Doesn’t she know how special—how rare—it is?
She hasn’t responded to any of my attempts to get in touch. I should let it go.
I can’t.
Maybe that’s why I blurt, “I think…it’s Wheeler. We had a great time together in Colorado—”
“You were a good man to drive all that way with her,” Sawyer says.
I give my right rein a tug as we head for the southwest pasture.
“Are you kidding? It was an absolute pleasure to travel with Wheeler. Most fun I’ve had in fuckin’ forever.
But since we got back to Texas, we haven’t hung out much.
I…” Sighing, I look down at my gloved hands. “I guess I just miss her.”
Cash clears his throat. “You try talkin’ to her?”
“Of course I’ve tried. She won’t return my calls or my texts. Haven’t seen her at any meals. I get the feeling she’s avoiding me. And you know, I accept the fact that she doesn’t want to see me again. I just can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong.”
My oldest brother clears his throat again. A pink flush is working its way up his neck.
I furrow my brow. “You chokin’?”
“Duke, you gotta talk to her,” he says, shaking his head.
My heart skips a beat. “What? Do you know something I don’t?”
Cash looks away. There’s something…off about him. He rides stiffly, and his eyes are narrowed.
My heart skips another beat. What is going on? I hate this feeling, like the world is pressing in on me from all sides as I wait for the proverbial axe to fall.
“Talk to her,” he repeats.
An icy wash of panic moves through me. “How can I do that if she won’t pick up my calls? If you know something, Cash, I need you to tell me.”
“Not my place to say. I’ll tell Mollie to tell Wheeler to call you.”
I reach out and grab his arm. Our horses immediately slow to a walk. My pulse throbs, my thoughts whirring. Is Wheeler hurt? Did something happen with her family? Her dad? I’ll murder that man with my bare hands if he did something to make her cry.
“Tell me. I’m begging you. She okay?”
He has a pained look on his face now. “She’s fine. Well, she’s not fine, but—”
“Jesus Christ.” Sawyer stares wide-eyed at me. “She’s pregnant, isn’t she?”
An explosion detonates inside my rib cage, the blast roaring in my ears and rattling my spine.
We didn’t use condoms.
We had so much sex.
So.
Much.
We fucked a hundred times. And every time, I came inside her. Yes, she’s on the pill, but there’s no fail-safe method.
We should’ve used backup.
Jesus Christ, why didn’t we use backup?
I look for confirmation in Cash’s expression. His eyes are full.
Sympathy. Regret. Some embarrassment too from revealing a secret he wasn’t supposed to. Wonder how he found out.
Oh shit, Wheeler is definitely pregnant.
Why wasn’t I her first call? The idea that she’s handled this alone—without me—knocks the wind out of me. I can just imagine the poor thing shaking like a leaf again.
“Fuck.” Cash closes his eyes and lets his head fall back. “I didn’t say that.”
A hand grips my windpipe and squeezes. “Is it true? Is Wheeler pregnant?”
My brother opens his eyes. They’re glassy. “Yes, Duke. Wheeler is pregnant.”
Somehow, we’ve all slowed to a stop. So has my heartbeat.
My brothers look at me, their faces blank with naked shock. I may be one of the “wild cards” of the family, but I’m not careless.
Maybe this is the universe’s way of keeping me humble.
If so, the universe is one sick son of a bitch.
I am frozen in place. I don’t know what to do. What to say.
All I know is Wheeler’s handled this on her own, and that’s not fucking fair.
Squeezing my legs, I urge my horse into a sprint as I pull hard on my left rein. The pounding of his hooves on the soft ground echoes inside my breastbone as we head back home.
I ride like a bat out of hell. By the time we arrive at the barn, he’s foaming at the mouth and I’m soaked head to toe in sweat.
Wheeler is pregnant.
I don’t understand why she hasn’t told me.
I’m truly and deeply crushed I wasn’t her first call. Then again, why would I be? She told me why she wants to keep her distance. Her family—
Shit. This is how her parents’ story started, isn’t it? Her mom getting pregnant unexpectedly. Her dad doing what he thought was right and marrying her.
My stomach lurches. Parenthood. I’m not ready for that. I want to travel. Try new things. Figure out what the hell I wanna do with the rest of my life.
Settling down and having a kid is not part of the plan.
My hands shake as I dig my phone out of my back pocket. I’m a wreck. But as scared as I am, I bet Wheeler’s feeling ten times worse, and that’s what I need to focus on right now—making sure she’s okay.
I only have one bar of service in the barn, but that’ll have to do. I shoot off a text to Wheeler. Call me please. I know she won’t pick up if I actually call.
Then I call Mollie.
“Hey!” she says after she picks up on the second ring, clearly surprised to hear from me. “What’s up? Everything okay?”
I don’t call Mollie all that much at the moment. She’s busy with Bellamy Brooks, my brother, and the baby, and I’m busy…well, pining after her best friend like a lovesick dickhead.
“Where is she?” The words come out as a growl, but I’m too anxious to apologize at the moment. I haven’t seen Wheeler’s car around the ranch today, so I don’t know if she went back to Dallas or what.
“Who? Duke, what’s going—”
“Wheeler. Cash just let slip that she’s pregnant, which I assume he heard from you?”
Dead silence.
Then: “Oh, Jesus.” She lets out a breath. “Okay, Cash wasn’t supposed to find out. Wheeler was at our place taking the tests, and he just happened to walk in on us.”
I picture the scene: Wheeler crying with her face in her hands. Mollie patting her back. Cash wanting to help but not knowing what the hell to do.
I feel like I just got sucker punched in the throat.
At the same time, my stomach roils, and I feel like I’m gonna lose my lunch. “How long ago was this?”
“Um.”
“Mollie.”
“Not long. Like…two days ago.”
“Two days!” I close my eyes. Bite the inside of my cheek to keep from saying something I’ll regret. “You—she—Cash—y’all kept this from me for two days? Why didn’t she tell me?”
“You’ll have to ask her that. This is her news to share. I’m sorry you found out this way—”
“How is she?”
Mollie pauses.
“Please, Mollie.” I put a hand on my hip. “I’m literally worried sick here. Is she at the New House? I haven’t seen—”
“She went back home to Dallas.”
I don’t know why that information stings. Or maybe I do. She’s running, clearly afraid.
She afraid of me? I’ve never given her any reason to be on alert, have I?
Granted, this pregnancy was definitely not planned. It’s more than a surprise—it’s a fucking shock. I gotta give Wheeler more credit for not telling me right away. Maybe she needed some time to process the news herself.
Guess I just wanna play a role in her life more like Mollie’s. I want Wheeler to trust me. I want to be the person she goes to when shit hits the fan.
But I’m not. And even though Wheeler has told me more than once that she’s not interested in any kind of deep relationship, I still want one to happen.
“Can I ask you for her address?”
“Duke…I don’t know.”
I swallow the tightness in my throat. “I gotta see her, Mollie. It’s killing me not knowing…I need to know she’s okay. Or do what I can to make this suck less for her. I imagine she’s not doing great if you won’t say a word about her.”
Another pause.
“You think Cash would sit on this news?” I press. “I know y’all had a scare too. I imagine you told him right away so he didn’t have to worry, right?”
Mollie clears her throat. “That was different.”