Chapter 16
Comfort Food
Wheeler
“Sit up and finish your water.” My younger brother, Haines, holds out my enormous pink water bottle. “I was just reading about how important it is in your condition to stay hydrated.”
Shutting my eyes, I burrow farther into the small mountain of pillows on my couch. “I can’t move.”
“Yes, you can. Up.” He grabs my hand, and I let him pull me upright. “You’re pregnant, not dying of consumption.”
“How much Bridgerton have you been watching?” Just looking at the water bottle makes my stomach curdle, but I dutifully remove it from my brother’s hand and take two tiny sips.
“You know how I feel about Jonathan Bailey, Wheeler.”
“We all feel that way about Jonathan Bailey.”
“Those thighs.” Haines sighs.
“The way that man looks in breeches.” I crack a smile.
“Yes.” Haines gets a faraway look in his eyes. “But I like the way he looks when he takes them off better.”
I roll my eyes, even as I chuckle. Feels good to laugh. “Somebody needs to get laid.”
“Somebody got laid a bit too well. Or would it be a bit too much?”
“Shut up.”
He’s teasing, a grin on his handsome face. “Wheeler, surely you know I believe that there’s no such thing as getting laid too much or too well.”
“Yes, there is. It’s called getting knocked up.”
Haines’s grin fades a little. “Fair. That’s not a problem I’ve run into.”
My little brother came out at sixteen and has dated men exclusively since then. I’m thrilled he’s happy.
My parents, however? They say they support him, but I know to this day they still wish their son was straight. Preston, my older brother, is embarrassed by the whole thing and pretends it never happened.
“I’m sorry you’re feeling so rotten,” Haines continues. “I know you’re freaked out. But let’s not forget you did hook up with a hot cowboy who won’t stop calling or texting you.”
“I thought city boys were more your type.” I try another sip of water. It tastes…ugh, I don’t know what it tastes like, but all of a sudden, it doesn’t taste like it should.
Nothing does. The food I used to love—smoothies, hummus, chicken—is a total no-go. I literally vomited in my mouth when I tried to eat some rotisserie chicken for lunch earlier today.
And the fatigue, my God! It’s never-ending. No matter how much I sleep, I wake up tired. My boobs hurt, and my nipples are so sensitive to changes in temperature that I howled this morning like a wounded animal when I stepped into the shower.
I’ve been pregnant for practically ten minutes, and I already hate everything about it.
“I do like city boys.” Haines lifts the water bottle from my hands and sets it on the coffee table. “But I think I speak for everyone everywhere who ever existed when I say that I’d sure as hell try out a cowboy too.”
“Ha.” I fall back onto the pillows. “Duke was just a fling.”
“I didn’t know people wove their flings so casually into everyday conversation.” Haines gives me a pointed look. “For a hookup, you talk about him an awful lot.”
My chest twists, my face getting hot. “Well, yeah. He did get me pregnant.”
My brother’s expression softens. He props my feet in his lap and rests his hands over the blanket on my shins. “I know part of you feels like Duke could never fall for someone as ‘difficult’ or ‘messy’ as you—”
“Wow,” I say, scoffing. “That’s…actually kind of insightful.”
“I pay closer attention than you think.”
My heart swells. Haines does a good job looking out for me, and I’ll always love him for it.
“You also went from hookup to falling pretty damn fast there.”
Haines shrugs. “Isn’t that how it usually happens?”
“You’re twenty-two. Of course that’s how it happens at your age.”
“Look, all I’m saying is you should give yourself a chance.
Maybe then you’ll give this cute cowboy a chance too.
Preston is a piece of shit. So is Dad. And Mom…
” Sighing, he looks down at his hands. “They’re all ignorant in their own ways.
Don’t let their stupidity keep you from living your best damn life. ”
My throat swells. “I’m hardly living my best life right now. And seriously, Haines, I’m the big sister. I feel like I should be giving you life advice.”
“Wheeler, you kept me alive during the darkest time in my life,” he says, referring to the years before he came out. “You’ve done right by me. My turn to do right—”
We both jump at the knock on my door. At the same moment, my Ring camera app announces a visitor. Who the hell is here at this hour? Probably a solicitor. Or the UPS guy.
“Don’t answer it,” I say, but I sit up so I can see my phone screen a little better. I tap on the app and wait for the camera to pop up. “I must’ve gotten a package or something.”
“And that package delivered.”
“Ew.” I laugh, the constriction in my chest easing ever so slightly. “Too soon, H.”
Another knock. My neighbor’s dog, an adorably naughty pug mix, starts barking. I can hear him scratching on their storm door.
“You sure you don’t want me to get that?” Haines asks.
The camera pops up on my phone, and I freeze when I see the broad-shouldered figure in a backward baseball hat standing on my doormat. My stomach lurches.
What—how—my address in Dallas, he’s never—fucking Mollie, I bet she—
“It’s Duke Rivers.” He knocks again. “I promise you, Wheeler, I’m not upset. I just wanna talk.”
I start to shake.
Haines meets my eyes. His look like they’re liable to pop right out of his head. “Did you—”
“Invite him?” I half whisper, half hiss. “No, Haines, I did not invite Duke to Dallas.”
Duke found out about the pregnancy. Why else would he drive two hundred miles to show up unannounced like this? Then again, he did try texting me earlier today. I ignored it, just like I always do, telling myself it’s better we keep our distance. No use postponing the inevitable, right?
Who told him about the pregnancy? Did Mollie let it slip? More likely it was Cash. He’d never spill my secrets on purpose, but maybe—I mean, what if he thought Duke deserved to know? Cash isn’t wrong. Duke does deserve to know about this, but I just wanted to be the one to tell him.
Shit shit shit.
I put a hand on my forehead. Is Duke angry? I’m not. I’m just overwhelmed. What the hell am I going to say to him? I still don’t know how I feel about the whole thing, much less how I’m going to handle his feelings.
“Please, Wheeler,” Duke calls. “Just gimme five minutes. I need to make sure you’re okay.”
Haines pushes out his bottom lip. Awwww.
My mind races. I don’t want to see Duke. Really, I don’t want to do anything except rot on my couch like the waste of life I am.
But he came.
He drove all the way from Hartsville to see me.
Pretty sure he didn’t come to yell. Or to fight.
But he did come. And at the very least, I owe him an explanation. An apology too.
Throwing off the blanket, I pivot on the sofa and put my feet on the ground. Haines follows me as I head for the front door, stopping briefly to examine my reflection in the hall mirror.
“Shit,” I repeat, this time out loud. I look like hell. Greasy hair. Greasy skin. A smattering of pimples dots my chin, another lovely side effect of this pregnancy.
Haines quickly smooths my hair, tucking it behind my ears.
“Any better?” I ask.
“Meh. Better than nothing.”
“Ugh!” Throwing up my hands, I turn back toward the door.
He gives me a soft tap on the hip. “Go get ’em, cowgirl.”
“Stop it!”
“I’m just kidding.” Haines shakes out his T-shirt. “Although I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t excited to finally meet this guy.”
I grab the doorknob. Closing my eyes, I take a deep, fortifying breath. I haven’t been this nervous since…God, I don’t think I was this nervous taking the SAT or meeting my parents’ divorce attorneys for the first time.
Go figure. Telling your very cute hookup that you’re pregnant is a bit of a mindfuck.
You’re an adult capable of having adult conversations. You did not do this on purpose. It was an accident, and you can handle it.
The timing, though, couldn’t be worse.
I roll back my aching shoulders. Then I open the door.
Duke is enormous. The bulk of his body blocks almost the entire opening. He’s resting one forearm against the side of the doorframe so that he leans forward a little, the scent of him—clean laundry, piney juniper—filling my head.
He looks up, his blue, bloodshot eyes locking on mine, and everything inside me heaves.
He’s so handsome, and he looks so distraught that my vision blurs. Tears.
Lots of them.
“Aw, Wheeler.” He steps forward, uninvited, and takes my face in his hands. He thumbs away my tears, his callouses moving smoothly over my skin. “Sweetheart.”
My heart swells at the endearment. My pulse slows a little at the gentle tone of his voice, his gentle touch. For the first time all day, I feel…like not dying.
At the same time, electricity darts through me at the feel of his hands on my skin. I could fall into his touch if I let myself.
“You found out.” I close my eyes.
“Cash.” I hear him swallow. “He didn’t mean to tell me—”
“I should’ve known it would slip. The five of y’all are so close.” Rolling my lips between my teeth, I open my eyes and meet his. “I hope you believe me when I say I was going to tell you. I just needed to come home first. Get my head screwed on straight.”
“She had to come see me is what she means.” Haines steps up beside me and holds out his hand. “I’m the good brother, Haines.”
“The good brother?” Duke cocks a brow, but he takes Haines’s hand. “Glad I met you first, then.”
My chest feels funny seeing my brother and my…whatever Duke is shake hands. Two worlds I’ve kept totally separate are suddenly colliding, and I’m not sure how I feel about that.
“My older brother is a lot,” I explain.
Haines smiles. “Preston is a dick. Pleasure to meet you, Duke. You came all the way from the ranch, huh? Three-hour drive from what Wheeler tells me?”
“Three and a half with traffic.” But that doesn’t keep Duke from chuckling. “Y’all been talkin’ shit about me?”
“Yes.” Haines is loving this.
Really, he’s loving being in the presence of a startlingly handsome cowboy. I notice Duke’s face is scruffier than usual. The heavy five-o’clock shadow looks good on him.
Really fucking good.
I can’t believe he’s here.
“Well, I think I speak for us all when I say I wish we were meeting in better circumstances.” Duke has the grace to look embarrassed as he runs a hand up the back of his neck, his bicep bulging against the sleeve of his worn denim jacket.
He picks up a plastic grocery bag I hadn’t noticed on the ground.
“I, uh, come bearing gifts if that helps.”
Haines takes the bag from him. “Listen, Duke, that backward hat is all the gift we need—”
“Haines was actually about to take off.” I cut my brother a look.
He looks back. “I was?”
“Yes.”
“But the gifts—”
“I’ll take those.” I grab the bag, surprised by how heavy it is, and open the door a little wider. “Duke, why don’t you come in?”
Haines puts his hands on hips. “I really feel like I should stay—”
“I’ll call you later, okay?” I blink twice in his direction. Scram.
His shoulders fall. “Fine.” He looks at Duke. “You be nice to my sister, you hear?”
“Always.” Duke’s eyes lock on mine. The sincerity in them makes me short of breath.
“And y’all best invite me to brunch tomorrow,” my brother continues as he grabs his keys from the tray on the nearby hall table. “If I have to be Mom’s entertainment committee for another day, I’m gonna lose my damn mind.”
Heat floods my face. “We’re not getting brunch. Duke is here to talk.”
“Right.” Duke’s eyes are still on me, I feel it. “We have a lot of that to do.”
Haines grins. “Y’all got a lot of somethin’ to do, that’s for sure. Good luck.” He pecks my cheek and walks out the door, twirling his key ring as he disappears into the growing darkness. “Love you, sis.”
Then it’s just me and Duke and the elephant in the room.