Chapter 6
CHAPTER SIX
Rachel had been pacing back and forth in her bedroom for so long that it felt like she was going to leave an impression on the ground underneath her. She had on a nice little silk night gown, but it might as well have been a raggedy cotton dress for the good that it was doing for her.
She had been sitting alone in her room, waiting for her husband to come and visit her. But there was no sign of him.
Surely, this wasn’t common for a married couple, at least not based on what she knew about marriage.
“Maybe I need to be more patient,” she tried to tell herself. They did not have a love match, and he might have been taking his time with the decision, for he did not have any prior feelings of love towards her.
But still, it was something that every groom ought to do. Leaving his wife alone on her wedding night seemed like a cruel thing, really.
That was the end of her patience, and she resolved that she needed to take matters into her own hands.
If Simon Linwood thought that he could simply push her aside on their wedding night, then he had grossly underestimated her. She was not a woman to brush aside and forget. It was bad enough that she was alone on this estate with no one to turn to as a friend.
As his wife, she deserved some answers from him at least.
With great courage, she headed out into the hall. It did not take her long to locate his study, underneath whose door there was a light coming out.
It had to be him inside there. She had found him.
But as she got closer to the door, she found herself hesitating as she remembered one of his rules.
Never interrupt me when I am working.
But surely this was different. It was their wedding night, and he should not be working tonight. Yes, it was different. She would not overanalyze and back down now.
The door opened before she had a chance to knock, catching her entirely off guard. Perhaps he had heard some movement outside the door and came to check.
Perceptive, she thought to herself. But clearly not perceptive enough to know what he should have been devoting his attention to this night.
Simon greeted her with a neutral expression, tilting slightly towards curiosity. He towered over her, and she once again was forced to acknowledge just how tall he was.
For a moment, there was silence, their eyes on each other.
“Is there a reason that you are here?” he asked finally. Rachel could make out a trace of irritation in his voice, though he appeared to be trying to conceal it.
“I wish to speak with you,” she said quickly, silently encouraging herself not to back down so easily.
“Have you seen the time?” he said, raising an eyebrow. “I am sure that whatever you need to discuss with me can wait till morning. You should sleep now.”
“You are advising me to go to sleep, and yet you are here, awake?” she said.
It was a weak response, but with him in her proximity, it was the best she could come up with.
“This is not the time for talk, Duchess. Whatever you have to talk about can wait until tomorrow…”
“But it can’t,” she blurted out before he could usher her way entirely, “I wanted to speak with you about our wedding night.”
It was rare for Simon to be caught off guard. There were only a few circumstances in which he ever was, but his wife was currently standing in front of him in the middle of his study in nothing but a thin silk nightgown, inquiring about their wedding night.
Heavens. A man could only possess so much restraint.
He pulled back slightly, not trusting himself to be so close to her or else his thoughts would spiral in a different direction entirely.
“Come inside.”
He hastily closed the door behind him. First, he would hate for any of the staff to see her in attire like this. He could not explain why, but it was less out of propriety and more out of a strange sense of possessiveness that had not left him since he had first seen her dressed as his bride.
Second, she had brought up a rather serious topic of discussion. Did she even know what she was talking about?
“Yes, I really wish to speak to you,” she said, sounding less angry now and more nervous.
“You wish to speak to me about our wedding night?” he repeated.
“It is our wedding night,” she repeated, as though she had not made herself clear the first time. “You didn’t come to me. Why?”
Her bluntness overwhelmed him. Simon stared at her, stunned for a moment at her audacity. But then, another creeping thought came to his mind that was much less innocent.
“Do you even know what you’re asking?” he whispered, moving closer to her now.
Rachel’s face turned red, but she didn’t back off. “Y-yes.”
The way that she answered was enough to let him know that she did not truly understand what she was talking about.
Ah.
Somehow, that made matters even more complicated for him.
“You think you know,” he corrected, fighting the urge to simply reach out and show her. His gaze kept dropping to the exposed skin on her neck.
What did she really expect him to do when she walked him on him dressed like that? His eyes darkened, along with his wanton thoughts.
”I know enough,” she declared. She was a stubborn one, that much was certain. He couldn’t help but wonder what would get her to stop being like that.
“You know enough, do you?” he whispered, his voice dropping as his hand extended and closed around her wrist, tugging her toward him.
“Yes, y-yes,” her words tumbled out.
Simon leaned, his lips against her ear’s shell as he whispered, “Do you have any concept at all what it is to wait for your husband on your wedding night? To stand here, clad only in that—” His other hand gestured toward her nightdress. “— and ask such a thing?”
She did not reply. And that told him all he wanted to know.
Innocent. She was much too innocent.
“No, in earnest, you have no idea.”
His restraint, which had been waning by the minute since she had stepped into his study, snapped entirely then.
Without thinking, he kissed her. It was passionate and sudden. But it felt satisfying to know that she kissed him back almost immediately, as though she had wanted this to happen, as well.
She was inexperienced, he could tell that much. But she was a fast learner, as well. She was mirroring his movements. When he threaded his fingers through her hair and pulled her closer to deepen the kiss, she did the same. Her delicate hands were holding onto his shirt tightly.
He wanted nothing more than for her to take it off him.
But he knew that would be a bit too much for their first kiss. Instead, he backed her against the wall. The newly added support was good to give him more access to her, and his hands inched towards the curve of her chest.
They would break their kiss only for a moment to breathe, and then go back to it. It was like they were devouring each other.
And he felt his excitement growing more and more, the fabric of his trousers straining between his legs.
Simon wanted more.
If he were to be earnest, then his intent was simple.
He wished to take her right there in his study.
She seemed quite willing, and he could show her exactly what happened during a wedding night when a man claims his woman for himself.
He wanted to hear her moan against his ear and cry out his name in pleasure.
He wanted to rip that silk gown off her, and if she complained, buy her a dozen more.
He wanted to sink inside her. It would not only be making love. It would be something less gentle and more primal. She would love it; of that he was certain.
But it was getting harder for him to control himself, as his thoughts grew wilder. When he found himself biting on her lower lip, he knew that he had to stop this.
So he pulled back, abruptly bringing an end to their kiss. He noticed that her lips were now reddened, as were her cheeks.
She was remarkably attractive like this.
He had kissed her more roughly than he had intended. She had liked it, though.
The shock alone jolted him back into his senses.
He had crossed a line.
“Rule number four,” his gruff voice informed her. “Never do that again. Never provoke me.”
Her hair was disheveled, and her mouth wide open as she tried to make sense of all that was happening.
“Provoke you?” she asked, her voice shaking. “I never did such a thing. I merely wanted answers.”
“You did,” Simon interrupted harshly, his hand remaining on her waist. “You came to me at midnight, dressed in very little, with questions for which you’re not prepared to hear the answers. Do you have any idea how reckless that is?”
Her face flushed.
“I have a right to ask these questions. I am your wife.”
Simon’s jaw tightened, and he backed away, releasing her as if her hand burned his skin.
“We will not have an heir.”
The words seemed to wound him, even though he was the one to issue them. But it was all too dangerous. It was only her first day here, and his control had already spiraled to a startling degree.
Rachel blinked, her expression shifting from anger to confusion. “What?” she whispered. “Why would you… I do not understand why you would marry then? If not for an heir?”
“Because I needed a duchess. That is all.”
He could feel the disappointment emanating from her. It was palpable, and he could not blame her either.
Initially, he had wanted to deliver the news to her in a much more composed setting. But it had come out badly. He rubbed his face and shook his head.
“You will return to your bedchamber now, Duchess. I will not be joining you,” he instructed her. “This matter between us is finished.”
He didn’t turn around, and she quietly made her exit.
It was not lost on him that she did not choose to argue with him this time. Perhaps he had wounded her with his harsh words. A feeling of guilt settled over his chest, but he knew that he had made the right decision by being upfront with her.
One day.
One day into their marriage, and he’d already breached the fragile boundaries he’d worked so hard to create.
It was going to be a dangerous thing, having her around him. She made it far too easy for his control to slip. It was too tempting.
Rachel had clearly left an impression on him, so much so that he was unable to get her out of his mind, even when he lay in his own bed later in the night.
She was all that he could think about. The way it had felt to kiss her and pull her into his arms.
She had been so willing, as well. Did she feel the same pull towards him? That alone had been enough to drive him mad.
His desire was still blatant.
“Heavens.”
Slowly, his hands drifted downwards to the front of his pants. And then slipped inside, grabbing a hold of himself.
His eyes closed, and he began to imagine her.
First, in her nightgown. And then the way that she had looked after he had kissed her. From there, his imagination took a dangerous turn, and he began to strip away her clothing in her mind.
His mind was conjuring up all manner of scenarios now.
What would she have done if he had pushed their little encounter even further? Would she have been just as willing?
A sound escaped his lips. It was a low moan. He wished nothing more than to visit her in her bedchambers and make his fantasy come to life.
His grip on himself tightened, and his movements were faster now.
“Rachel.”
He could not help himself. It felt natural to say her name out loud like this. But then his desire grew even more.
He had reached the point of no return now, and his mind began to imagine her next to him, in his own bed. He felt excitement bubbling inside of him as he thought of the ways that she would respond to being touched by him.
When his relief finally came, he felt as exhausted and as satisfied as though it had been the real thing.
But as clarity finally began to return to his thoughts, there was one thing that he was certain about. It was going to be extremely hard to stay away from her, and it was going to require every bit of his self-restraint to do so.