Chapter Sixteen
Ian
Ian had picked up that there was something on Rick’s mind during the party.
Except he had been more closed off than normal, and it all started when he’d noticed Rick talking seriously with Charlie and Pip.
He couldn’t say for sure why he had gotten a sense of unease as the party progressed because it was a great success—not a penis cake in sight—he just had that feeling, and that wasn’t helping his anxiety levels.
Morty had out done himself making a three-layer chocolate cake along with a strawberry shortcake that was Ian’s new favorite.
Ian had eaten, mixed with everyone, catching up, and had fun with Lionel and Brad who were amazing hosts.
They made everyone feel welcome including Rick’s friends.
It should have been the perfect evening.
Hector strolled up with his daughter perched in the crook of one arm fast asleep.
Ian had gotten some cuddles in earlier. Hector loved to keep her to himself as the doting father he was.
Ian had witnessed Morty struggle to get a look in with how obsessed his friend was.
It was wonderful to see Hector so happy when his mother was such a monster towards him, though allegedly she had improved.
Ian wasn’t sure he believed it. A warthog never changed its tusks.
“What a great night and it was a pleasure to meet you, Rick.” Hector glanced at his daughter. “But it’s time we got moving with this sweetheart needing her bed.”
Morty appeared and grinned. “I think it’s you that wants his bed.”
Hector blushed at the obvious innuendo and just shook his head. They left after a round of goodbyes, and Ian stayed with Rick.
Rick held Ian’s hand as they were saying their final round of their own goodbyes to the last few party stragglers. He watched Rick out of the corner of his eye with an intensifying sense of unease as he forced a cheerful smile onto his lips.
Tension radiated across the tops of his shoulders by the time they got into the car twenty minutes later.
They drove off, waving at Brad and Lionel with promises to catch up for dinner the following week.
Ian could see them standing in the doorway cuddling in the rear-view mirror feeling somehow disconnected from his own mate.
“Is something wrong?” There was a distinct flatness to Rick’s voice, as if he were trying to avoid letting any of his emotions out.
Rick had glanced at him, and Ian could feel the weight of it, but he kept his gaze on the road, his hands gripping tightly onto the steering wheel.
He gave himself a moment to take a deep, cleansing breath before formulating a response.
“Maybe you should tell me,” Ian stated with no emotion at all.
“I thought the evening went well, everyone got on. It’s just that I’m picking up some unease from you, and I don’t understand why, and it’s making me feel out of sorts. ” There he’d said it.
Rick gave him the confidence to speak his mind. It just didn’t feel right to do it at the party when everyone else was having a great time, something that seemed obvious by the amount of laughter and joking throughout the evening.
“You picked that up, did you?” There was the sound of scratching when Ian nodded, aware his bear would see it. “I was waiting until we got home to discuss it with you. Charlie mentioned an event next Saturday. Thought I might be interested in attending—”
“What sort of event?” Ian questioned in an alarmed tone, his guts doing a fast tango and tripping him up.
Rick had talked a little about his best friend, Charlie, and the bull riding circuit. Ian had been happy to listen to any snippets because it was part of Rick’s past, and Ian had laughed tonight at some of the stories Pip had talked about.
Did that mean Charlie wanted Rick to get back involved in that sort of thing full-time? The people on the rodeo circuit traveled for months, and the possible injuries were scary. Rick had shut Pip down when he’d gone into a little too much detail.
Of course, Ian loved seeing Rick do his thing on the bull at the Bucket List Buddies event, but a lifetime of watching and worrying for his mate… he didn’t love that idea so much.
Yet, how did he say that sort of thing without coming across as controlling or worse, clingy? Ian didn’t consider that he was that sort of person and never wanted to be. Except now, he was thinking he might be.
The lack of reply and silence as it continued came with a wall between them that felt humongous with his growing concerns. Ian glanced to the side and glimpsed the stiffness of Rick’s posture, who was staring out the window fixedly.
Shit.
“Talk to me,” Ian begged, when it felt like his nerves were going to snap in two.
“Let’s talk when we’re home,” he answered softly.
Ian, who wasn’t prone to driving beyond the speed limit, hit the gas pedal.
Rick chuckled and placed a warm hand on Ian’s thigh. “You in a rush, darling.”
Yes, he was, but probably not for the reason Rick was thinking.
He needed to get home so Rick would talk to him, and hopefully that would ease the ball of anxiety in his gut.
He hoped Rick’s attempt at humor was a good sign and not him trying to butter Ian up before he let Ian slide right into his fears with nothing to stop him.
A few minutes later, he pulled up outside Rick’s home, his heart bouncing against his ribs.
Once they were inside and the door shut, Rick pulled Ian into his arms, and they exchanged a heated kiss.
It eased into Ian’s soul. He sank into the kiss like it was a hot spring.
His whole body absorbed it, making him crave more.
A whine of disappointment came as Rick released him and guided him to the couch, where he tugged him down next to him. Not where Ian wanted to be, but he also wanted to talk about whatever was going on with Rick.
Rick twisted until his knee knocked Ian’s thigh, reaching for his hands and interweaving their fingers, placing their joined hands on Rick’s knee. When their gazes locked, Ian felt the wall slip from between them, and relief poured through him.
“You know that bucket list thing that got you and I together,”—Ian nodded—"well, I had a different item on my personal bucket list a long time ago. I wanted to beat this guy on the circuit. I never quite got there, and I suppose I’d tucked it away—”
“Until Charlie mentioned this event, and this person is taking part?” The look on Rick’s face answered for him.
Ian was never slow on the uptake. He could see the competitive spark in Rick’s eyes.
The desire to achieve something long since considered out of reach.
“Are you doing the event?” Although it was a question, Ian sensed it was already a foregone conclusion.
He could recall how he’d mentioned to Rick how he’d worry at the bucket list event. It seemed his mate had forgotten.
Rick squeezed his hands gently. “I would love to try, yes, but just so you know, it’s three rides, not just one.”
Ian loved that he didn’t soft soap him despite how his honey badger actually squealed in distress at the idea. He was with him.
No. He’s not doing it.
We can’t tell him no, it’s his choice. And I recall how excited you were before. Ian made sure to point that out because he was holding back his panic, to Rick he said aloud, “I’m not gonna say I’m not worried because I am. As is my honey badger.” To put it in rather mild terms.
Rick let go of his hands, and Ian found himself lifted onto Rick’s lap and cuddled into his chest. He tucked his face into Rick’s neck and inhaled his manly scent, seeking solace. He wasn’t hiding. Alright, maybe a little.
“I won’t do it if you don’t want me to.”
The quietly spoken words meant everything to Ian, but he wasn’t a selfish man and never had been. Because he didn’t miss the underlying want that Rick couldn’t quite disguise. “No, I’ll support you.” What else could he say? “On one condition.”
“What is that?” questioned Rick with a lightness in his voice, missing before confirming Ian’s suspicions. His man wanted to do this.
Ian peeked up at him. “You be very careful and don’t try anything silly that could get you hurt.” It was silly, really, because there were no guarantees to anything, but he knew that if Rick promised he’d do his best to keep it.
“I’ll try my love.”
Not exactly a promise, but it was the best anyone could do.
He could just not do it, grumped his honey badger.
Shut up, just shut up.
He didn’t need to hear it, not when his head was already playing worst-case scenario.