Chapter 8
Lacy
“Lacy. Lacy, wait!” Daisy was shouting as I tried to run to the room. I needed to get my stuff. And I was trying to get there without showing my face.
Tears were already falling when he was trying to talk to me, but once I ran off, the flood gates opened. It was midday so most of the clubhouse was quiet but I didn’t want any of the bunnies who were hanging around to notice. Not that I could be jealous. They had all been really cool about not flirting with Eagle since I was staying with him. Once they found out I wasn’t, he was probably fair game.
He had been a bit of a player according to what I gathered. Lots of girls had a go with him but I didn’t know who. Nobody would tell me to my face but it was insinuated that he got around. I didn’t blame any of them. He was hot and sweet. Why did he have to be hot and sweet?
No . He may be sweet but he had the emotional availability of a feral kitten. Not even a cat, because sometimes a cat would let you love them. Kittens were still wild and only gave attention when they wanted, biting and clawing at you when they didn’t want to be loved and expecting you to care for their basic needs. Only coming around when they wanted something, but never there when you wanted.
Admittedly, he took care of my basic needs and that was more than anyone owed me, which was absolutely nothing. That only made this harder. But I wasn’t cut out to be a bunny. At least not with him. Maybe if it was someone who was an asshole, I wouldn’t have fallen. But he was almost perfect. Except he didn’t feel for me what I felt for him. And I couldn’t do that to myself any longer. Maybe after getting some distance we could be friends.
I made it to the hall that led up to the rooms when Daisy finally caught up to me. “Hey, did you not hear me?”
“Why are you chasing me? You should be letting your husband ravage you.” I kept walking, hoping the light chatter would ease my tears before I got to the door.
“Lacy, what happened?”
Her smaller, more delicate hand than Eagle’s, grabbed my arm exactly where he had grabbed me. I took a deep breath and cleared my throat, hoping to rid myself of the lump that had threatened its way up again. “I’m not going to stay with Eagle anymore.”
I patted her hand and started walking again but she just followed me. “That piece of shit kicked you out? Wow!” she said loudly and it echoed through the hall.
Turning to her finally, I smiled. “He didn’t kick me out. I told him I was leaving.”
Her scowl melted into confusion, her brows pinching together. “But why? You’re going to go bunk with bunnies in the shared rooms?”
I turned to keep walking until I finally made it to his door and walked inside, Daisy on my heels. “I don’t know. Maybe. But things have been weird for weeks. I kept hoping it would change, but he’s not where I am and it’s not fair to stick around. For either of us.”
Pulling the wedges off, I found a bag in the closet and tossed it on the bed then started pulling my things from the shelves in the closet where I had found a little space for my stuff.
“Is this because of me?” she asked.
Stopping what I was doing, I walked to her and grabbed her hands. “My relationship, or lack thereof, with Eagle has nothing to do with you. This isn’t your fault. But it made me realize I deserve love, too, ya know?”
She squeezed my hands. “You do deserve love. I’m sorry Eagle’s a fucking dumbass and can’t see what he had.”
A belly laugh escaped me. “As much as I’d like to agree with you, he’s not dumb. He’s just not that guy. Not for me anyway. Maybe one day some lucky girl will have him head over heels. But I know I won’t ever find that if I stick around to be his plaything.” I had started to let her go, but then I squeezed her hands and was right in front of her again. “That was a low blow. He’s never treated me badly and he never made any promises to be anything other than what he was. I just mean, as long as I stay, neither of us will really be happy.”
She pulled me in for a hug and while I didn’t sob again, another tear rolled down my cheek. She pulled back and wiped it away. “Can I help with your stuff?”
I grabbed her shoulders and shook her playfully. “No, you can go find Falcon and fuck his brains out. I don’t have much to pack.”
She tilted her head and her worried eyes looked me over. “I feel bad. And I fucked him this morning. It’s not like we haven’t done that a billion times.”
“Well, you haven’t done it as man and wife. As he said, he needs to consummate .”
She rolled her eyes. Her dark hair was still not frizzy, but the loose curls she added to the ends were starting to fall. The humidity in Georgia was no joke. My hair was probably getting flat, too. I was scared to look in the mirror. Daisy had minimal makeup; she’d been wearing less and less but she was gorgeous anyway. I didn’t look awful without it, but I loved makeup. Although, I was pretty sure my perfect wings were now more reminiscent of a rabid racoon.
I turned her and pushed her toward the door. We opened it and she jumped. “Christ, Falcon!”
He was standing on the other side of the door with his arms crossed. He wasn’t leaning against the door, just standing there. “You done?”
“Ugh. She’s having a bad day.” She turned back and my face got hot but I didn’t start crying. It was just embarrassing for her to bring it up to his brother. “I’ll see you downstairs in a while, right?”
I nodded and Falcon uncrossed his arms as she walked out. “Sorry about your day.”
Waving after them, I closed the door as they walked away. Looking around, I sighed then got back to work pulling things from the closet, then the bathroom. My face was a mess so I pulled out a makeup removing wipe and cleaned up what I could.
I left a pair of jeans and a tank top out to change into and tossed the dress into the small pile of laundry in the hamper. It only took a few minutes to gather my belongings. I slipped some flip flops on and took a look around. Lifting my chin, I went to grab my bag from the bed.
My hands dragged over the black comforter and grabbed his pillow of their own volition. Lifting it to my face, I breathed in deeply, inhaling the smell of him. Leather, hints of ink, and the faint smell of sandalwood. As fresh tears blurred my vision, I pressed my face into the pillow and let it muffle the sound of my soft crying.
“Place looks great, Mama Hen,” I said as I stood with my hands on my hips. We’d blown up a few hundred white and silver balloons, made an arch, put short vases with white roses on the tables and the bar, and prepped a ton of food.
“I appreciate your help,” she answered as she pulled me against her side.
“And I appreciate you both. It’s so beautiful.” Daisy stood, taking in the space. “I never thought I’d be married, much less have a reception. I don’t know what to say.” Her eyes got glassy as she looked around.
“Well, you helped, hon. Even though we tried to tell you to stay out of the way,” Mama Hen playfully snapped.
“Oh my God! Look at this place!” Jeannie walked in holding a big white box.
“The cake!” Mama Hen squealed.
Jeannie stood in awe, still holding the box. “The rest is in the car and it’s hot. Someone want to go grab them?”
Daisy’s hands flew to her mouth. “More?”
Mama Hen was hustling out and yelled over her shoulder, “Well yeah, you need a tiered cake for your wedding. C’mon Lacy.”
I ran to catch up with her and helped grab one of the boxes. Jeannie came back out and helped grab all the pieces to make the cake stand properly then shut the door and followed us back inside. We worked to set up the cake on a table that Mama Hen decorated just for it.
It was a comedy of errors, but we managed to assemble the cake, each tier secured. It was mostly white, with little flowers made of icing in white and silver. I was admiring the cake but asked, “Daisy, did you pick silver for any particular reason?”
“ I picked it because it’s classy,” Mama Hen shouted from the kitchen.
Daisy shrugged. “I didn’t know she was doing all this. But it’s so pretty and thoughtful. I don’t care if it was brown!”
“My God, nobody would do brown, Daisy,” Mama Hen called from the other room.
We all giggled then Mama Hen called for us to grab the ice and start prepping the coolers. We stacked bags of ice from the deep freezer onto one of the wagons, then filled the other with boxes of drinks from the beer fridge, and after some harsh words from all of us, Daisy finally sat down, and Jeannie offered to help me outside.
I stopped at one of the picnic tables and she opened a case of beers, dropped a few in, then we layered ice and the cans. Once we filled that, we moved to another cooler and put sodas in, following the same protocol.
“You okay, Lacy?” Jeannie asked.
“No, but I will be.”
“What happened?” she asked as we moved to another cooler.
Sighing heavily, I stood and held my hands up in defeat. “I moved out of Eagle’s room.”
Her lips fell into a pouty frown. “Oh my God, really? Are you okay? What did he do?” She put her hands on her hips. I loved these women.
“Nothing. But I guess that’s sort of the problem.”
She grabbed a beer from one of the coolers and handed it to me. “Here, girl. Take the edge off.”
“Thanks.” I took a long sip. It was refreshing and cold. The whole day had been strange, and I was exhausted, physically and mentally.
“Where you staying then?”
“I guess with the bunnies for now. Hopefully I can start working with you soon and maybe get a place. It’ll be kinda hard to dodge him around here.”
“Just come stay with me.”
My head whipped in her direction. “What? I couldn’t do that.”
“Why not? I have a house with extra rooms. You can stay with me as long as you want. Maybe when you start working you can do groceries and utilities or something.” She grabbed her thick blonde hair and pulled it off her shoulders. It was getting hot as hell and I was about to put mine in a messy bun.
“And rent?”
“Naw. The house isn’t huge but it’s close to being paid off. I know what it’s like to be in your shoes and this way you won’t feel like it’s charity or something. But only after you’ve been working a few weeks. A girl needs reserves.” She popped the top on a beer and took a sip. “And I tell you what. As your first payment, you can drive us home tonight and be my DD.” I looked down at my beer but she laughed. “Girl, it’s not even six. I think you’ll be okay later if you finish that off.”
Daisy came strolling out and held her hands up. “I’m not trying to help, promise. Just bored sitting around. They said I wasn’t needed at the shop and I don’t know what else to do other than wander around here.”
She came over so I grabbed a beer from the cooler. “Beverage for the bride?”
Daisy flung her arm over my shoulder and took the cold drink. “So, you tell her what’s up?”
Nodding, I smiled. “Yeah, and she’s gonna let me crash with her for a while.” Daisy’s smile faded so I quickly added, “I’ll still come see you sometimes. I’m not out for good. But getting a little distance should help me get over him faster, ya know?”
“I thought getting under another man helped with that?” Jeannie said with a smirk.
“Well, I don’t think getting under one of the guys here would be very helpful. I don’t want to hurt him.”
“I guess. He’s a nice guy. Just not boyfriend material for sure,” Jeannie said.
Biting my lip, I let out another heavy sigh. “Exactly. Fooling around with someone here would just make things worse. Plus, I’m not really interested in anyone else for now.” Honestly, the thought of anyone besides him touching me made me sick to my stomach.
Daisy’s hand squeezed my shoulder. “You need some me-time. And when the time is right, you’ll meet someone who will treat you like you deserve.”
“Do me a favor, though.” I looked at them both. “Don’t tell him where I am if it comes up.”
“Girl, I love Falcon but I don’t fraternize with the boys here. Have you seen how he looks at them if they get too close? It’s more for their own safety than my comfort.” We all chuckled, but she wasn’t kidding. The officers all seemed to keep their distance while being respectful to her, but occasionally at parties a newer guy or someone from another club wandered too close and Falcon corrected them very quickly.
“Secret’s safe with me, too,” Jeannie chimed in, “but we’ll have to be sure he doesn’t see you sneaking off with me later. Why don’t you go ahead and put your stuff in the car for a clean getaway?”
Daisy let me go and her eyes got wide. “I love this. We’re like our own little secret club. I’ll help you with your stuff. Jeannie, keep a lookout.”
I rolled my eyes. “They won’t be back for at least an hour.”
Daisy raised a finger to her lips. “Shh, don’t ruin the game.”
After very easily getting the small amount of belongings outside, I took the fresh laundry back to his room and smuggled the rest of my things out as well. I had hung up Penny’s dress to dry after I washed it, and it was still a little damp. I didn’t want to leave it in the laundry room, so I walked it over to Mama Hen’s and left it dangling from a hook on the porch that didn’t have a plant hanging on it. Penny’s car wasn’t outside, and she didn’t usually come around for the parties, but I still wanted to return the dress to her. I left the shoes in a rocking chair, then headed back.
Slowly, Harleys started filing in and some cars with women as well. Folks were leaving their day jobs and heading back to the club for the party. We had a lot of folks around every night, but with all the special little trips the guys have been making in the evenings, not a lot of partying had been going on.
Things were still up in the air about Raven. I don’t think I was supposed to know much about that, but if you stood around and were invisible, you heard enough to put things together. Just like I wasn’t supposed to know that Falcon killed Tony, but Daisy told me. Well, she told me he wasn’t a threat ever again. Falcon was shot, we ended up in some mob bosses’ restaurant, and that was after Eagle practically carried me out of the clubhouse in the middle of the night and said Daisy needed me while he helped Falcon with an errand. They thought they were slick, or that we were complete dingbats. We knew they had shady dealings, and after seeing him return with busted knuckles and blood on his clothes time and again, you put things together.
But tonight seemed like a happy one; for everyone else, anyway. Daisy knew what was up with me and I did my best to keep a happy face on through the evening. Eagle got cornered by his brothers once they got back from the shop, and it was pretty full so it was easy to dodge him. A few times I caught him looking over at me but I’d look away quickly. He said earlier he wanted to talk more, but I didn’t think I could handle any conversation with him right now.
Once bunnies started pairing off with bikers for the evening, Jeannie came and found me. “Hey, girl. Crowd is gonna thin out soon and I’ve had about all the fun I can. I gotta work tomorrow and I could use some carbs for all this booze. You wanna sneak off?”
“Yeah. Let me see if I can tell Daisy so she doesn’t worry.” She was the reason I was there to begin with. We ended up in that hell with Tony together and she made sure we both got away. She knew where I was going but I still wanted to hug her since I wasn’t sure how soon I’d be back to the clubhouse. She worked with Eagle since he and Falcon ran the tattoo shop together, so I didn’t think I’d be making a trip there soon, either.
They hadn’t really done any ceremonial things but they did manage to cut the cake earlier. I wasn’t sure if she threatened him, but Daisy and Falcon didn’t smash cake onto each other. They both carefully fed each other a small piece and we all did a quick toast to the happy couple. The rest of the night was a typical biker party. I had kept an eye on Eagle and he was on the opposite corner of the room shooting darts with some guys. I caught Daisy’s attention and she slinked away from the chat she was having with Mama Hen.
We casually walked together, heading to the door. “I’m about to take off. You got Jeannie’s number, right?”
“Yep. We should have gotten you a phone. But she has my number, too. If you need me, or just want to chat, call me. Don’t text. I need to hear your voice. I’m gonna miss you.”
Glancing over my shoulder, I made sure Eagle was still preoccupied then grabbed her hand and drew her outside. Once the door closed behind us, I pulled her to me and we held each other tight. I swallowed hard, but that didn’t stop the rush of tears from surfacing again. My body trembled gently as I fought the hard sobs from coming, and she squeezed me tighter.
“I’m sorry. This is so embarrassing. We weren’t even a couple.” I tried to calm myself and wipe my face as we hugged each other.
“Don’t be embarrassed. But you better get going before someone sees us. These dudes are worse than old ladies at the hair salon.”
That forced a laugh from me. She wasn’t wrong. “I love you, girl. Let me get settled; I’ll touch base in a couple of days. And remember, don’t tell him where to find me. I just need a little distance and maybe I can come back around sometimes once he’s out of my system.”
She squeezed my shoulders then pecked my cheek. “Love you, girl. Your secret is safe with me.”
Looking around once more, I let another wave of tears surface. I was going to miss her…this place…and most of all him.