Chapter 9
Eagle
Yesterday was bullshit. Last night was even worse. Lacy steered clear of me all night. After I downed a bottle of whiskey, I didn’t remember much. I managed to make it to my room, but waking up alone only added to the pain of my intense hangover.
I stumbled into the shower to wash the alcohol off me. Jack was leaking out of my pores and my muscles ached. I needed a melt-your-skin-off shower, a gallon of water, some greasy breakfast, and a bunch of Ibuprofen.
Once my brain caught up to my body being awake and I rubbed the hot water from my eyes, I saw only my body wash and shampoo. I pulled the shower curtain back and looked over at the sink. All her shit was gone. Even the lotion I loved to sniff.
She left . She didn’t just sleep somewhere else. She moved all of her shit. Or maybe she just grabbed her bathroom stuff. She liked to do her face before she went downstairs, so that made sense. I wanted to check the closet for her clothes but today was not the day to rush a shower.
After I finished up and dried off, I put toothpaste on the brush and stuck it in my mouth and walked to check the closet with a towel wrapped around my waist.
Brushing with one hand, I pulled the bifold door with the other. “Fuck,” I deadpanned. It was all gone. All of her shit was gone. Brushing furiously, I went back to the bathroom, spat out the foam and rinsed my mouth.
Her hairbrush was gone, just like everything else, so I pulled the drawer open, grabbed my comb out, and tugged it through my jaw-length hair. I must have fucked with it a lot when I was drunk, or slept like a toddler, because it was full of knots. I vaguely recalled yanking the hair tie out and I tended to run my fingers through it when I was tense. To say I was stressed out was an understatement.
I kept thinking this was best, but now that she wasn’t here, I didn’t fucking like it. We were supposed to talk more but last night wasn’t the time and she was obviously taking some needed space. I’d find her and we’d talk. That was it—we just had to talk and it would be fine.
I threw some clothes on and grabbed my phone. It needed a charge, so I plugged it in. But it was late enough in the morning that she’d be downstairs by now.
Barging into the bunny bunks didn’t seem smart, but she never slept too late, so she was probably helping Mama Hen in the kitchen if she wasn’t in the bar. The bar had plenty of tables and a few windows so a lot of us used it as a dining room during the day.
I didn’t have any appointments until lunch so we could at least clear the air and make a plan to have dinner away from the clubhouse later. Shaking my head, I realized I hadn’t done that for her yet.
Rubbing my hand down my face, it hit me. I was a dick. I spent so much time guarding myself, I took advantage of her. I pushed her away. I wasn’t sure what I even really wanted besides just her…next to me. Was this just me in my head? Was this my ego bruised because she left?
Deciding I didn’t give a fuck about the why, I stormed from my room to go find her and figure out the how. How the fuck could I expect her to come back?
Knowing my temper was bubbling, I took a few deep breaths as I walked downstairs. I couldn’t barge in all gangbusters and expect her to welcome me. I needed to chill the fuck out. Be calm. Reasonable. I was the happy-go-lucky guy. I just had to shake this off and put on my bright smile.
Adjusting my cut and fixing my face, I opened the door to the bar and walked inside. It was quiet, only a couple of guys sitting around and a bunny behind the bar. No sign of Lacy.
Walking to the bar, I asked the brunette, who’s name I couldn’t remember, “Hey, you seen Lacy today?”
She shook her head. “Nope, not since last night. You need something?”
“Last night? Who’d you bunk with last night?” Wow. I was an officer, but I didn’t usually abuse it to be a nosy fucker.
Her brows shot up but she stammered, “Nobody if you must know. Was I supposed to?”
I plastered my charming smile. “Well, what a bunch of fools. But no, I just thought Lacy was in there.”
“Maybe she was in the other room? There’s not just one. Do you want me to ask around?”
“No. Sorry to bother you. I’ll find her.” The brunette was cute and obviously not pushy like some of the bunnies, but she didn’t ring my bell. No one else had caught my eye since Lacy came around. And yet, I still managed to fuck it up.
I still didn’t think I was cut out for the shit like Falcon, but I needed her. I stopped my quick strides. What if I talked her into coming back and just went back to my usual shit? Maybe I needed to let her have a little space and allow myself a little perspective. But I still wanted to know where the fuck she was.
I wandered around the clubhouse, not finding any trace of her. She didn’t have a car or money, not even a phone, so she couldn’t be far. Unless she went with a brother. But they wouldn’t do that. She wouldn’t go off with one of them, would she? We had a code around here. Although I never told anyone she was mine, everyone knew she was bunking with me. But some people were around yesterday when we fought or broke up or whatever the fuck you’d call what happened. If they thought she was fair game, would they offer to take her to bed, or home? Not every member stayed at the clubhouse. And there were people from other clubs here last night.
Was she still here in one of their beds? I turned to go back up to the rooms but a woman’s voice halted me. “Hey, hon. You hungry?”
Turning to Mama Hen, I thought I had smiled and said, “No, I’m good.” But the shocked look on her face had me wondering how good my acting skills were at the present time.
“You don’t look good. You need some medicine? Or maybe some antacids and electrolytes?” She let out a chuckle. She just thought I was hungover.
“Actually yeah, that all sounds good.” Maybe I was tired and needed to rehydrate. I wasn’t usually so impulsive, especially with a woman.
“Sit here and I’ll be right back.”
I took a seat at an empty table and thrummed my fingers on the top. My head was killing me but my thoughts were still racing. Imagining one of my own brothers with their hands all over her soft skin was making me queasy and angry at same time. After a few minutes, Mama Hen came back with a tray of goodies and snapped me from my murderous thoughts.
“Okay, drink this then you can have this coffee if you want.” She handed me a fizzy drink and a couple of pills. I downed them all quickly then sipped the coffee, wincing. “I think I’ll stick to soda for now. That tastes like shit.”
She rolled her eyes but pushed a plate in front of me. “I’ll get another drink but try to eat that.” She had made a BLT on toasted bread. She often had plenty of bacon and sausage for breakfast and I was bad about sneaking extra pieces of bacon. She made it nice and crispy. Biting into the sandwich, I moaned then took another big bite. Some food was just better for hangovers. Waffle House was great, but having something so easily available was even better.
Mama Hen came back with a glass of soda and a glass of water. “Here, water is good for you, too. You working today?”
Shoveling another bite, I took a gulp of the sweet bubbly drink and slowly started to feel like myself again. “Yep. I had a little time before I went in. Say, you seen Lacy? I needed to speak to her.”
Her brows shot up. “She wasn’t with you?”
I grabbed the napkin she had laid on the table and wiped my face. “Mama Hen, do I look stupid to you?”
She crossed her arms and quirked a brow. “You’re a grumpy drunk, Eagle. What are you talking about?”
“I know girls talk. You know what happened.” I didn’t really want to rehash yesterday with Mama Hen but she had to know something.
“Girls may talk, but around here we have mostly women. Plus, you boys keep me on my toes so I don’t have time for the bunny bullshit.”
“She’s not a fucking bunny.”
“Eagle, you are out of sorts.” Mama Hen sat down and pulled the chair closer. “I know she stormed off from you yesterday, but that’s the gist of it. I don’t meddle. And she didn’t say anything to me, so I didn’t ask. Plus, if you didn’t notice, I was busy with the party. You okay?”
Leaning back, I blew out a deep breath. “I’m okay. Maybe. I just wanted to talk to her and couldn’t find her.”
She patted my hand. “I’ll check the bunks. But maybe give her some breathing room.”
My head whipped in her direction. “I thought she didn’t tell you anything?”
Her eyes went wide. “She didn’t. My God, you are riled up. But you probably shouldn’t talk to her right now unless you want to scare her off.” Mama Hen stood and walked away.
I jumped up and walked over before she made it to the door. “I’m sorry. I am out of sorts. Maybe I’ll just head on over to the shop. But if you find her, tell her I was looking for her and I really want to talk to her.”
She smiled up at me. She was nearly a foot shorter than me but she had a larger than life personality. And she was a woman, but she was an Old Lady, even though her man was dead. She was the First Lady for a long time, and she’d probably always be in my eyes. Whoever Hawk ended up with had some big shoes to fill. “I will. I promise. Go hop on your Harley and get some air.”
As I headed to my bike, I looked around, wondering if maybe she was getting some air herself. When I didn’t see her, I climbed on my Harley and fired it up. Maybe she overdid it on the booze, too, and was just sleeping it off somewhere. Mama Hen was right. I was too wound up to have the kind of talk I wanted to have.
After stopping and getting some more sports drinks at the gas station, I headed to the shop. The open air helped a little, but my head was still killing me. No booze tonight. I grabbed the drinks from my saddlebags and headed inside.
Daisy was at the desk typing away. She didn’t look up when I came in so I said, “Hey newlywed.” Her head didn’t move, but her eyes looked up. She normally greeted me and smiled when I spoke to her. Maybe she was hungover. I started to walk down the hall then stopped, turning back. She was Lacy’s best friend. “You okay, Daisy?”
She didn’t turn around and kept typing like she didn’t hear me. But she didn’t have earbuds in since we kept music playing in the shop. I walked around to the front again and stared down at her. “You got something to say to me?”
“Nope.”
“Look, she told me she was leaving. Why do you have your panties in a bunch?”
“Hey,” Falcon barked from his booth. “Her panties are none of your fucking business.”
Great . Everyone was in a fucking mood today. Daisy scowled at me for a moment before I gave up and went to my booth to put my shit down. I pounded one of the sports drinks then tossed the bottle and opened the second, strolling across the hall to Falcon’s booth.
“What’s your problem?” I asked.
He motioned to close the door, so I shut it after stepping inside. “Whatever happened between you and Lacy has her in a foul-ass mood. All I did was ask what was up because she was holed up in your room when she was supposed to be banging me yesterday, then she was all depressed last night.”
My brow furrowed. “My room?”
“Yeah. Guess she was helping her pack or something.”
I pushed my fingers through my hair. “Yeah, well, I didn’t ask her to leave.”
Falcon huffed and rolled his stool to grab something behind him.
“What? Seriously, we left the wedding, and Lacy tells me she’s moving out of my room.”
“And this was a total fucking surprise I’m sure.” Sarcasm dripped from his words.
I took a big chug of the blue drink. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
He shook his head as he started setting up his tray for his appointment. “Look man, your hookups are none of my business, but she stuck it out longer than I expected is all I’m saying.”
“You think this is my fault?”
“It is.”
This mother fucker. “You know what, I don’t need a lecture from you. I need to go setup my shit.”
“I wasn’t lecturing you. You asked a question. I answered. Don’t ask if you don’t wanna know.”
“So you’re the authority on women now that you’re married, is that it?”
“I’m the authority on Daisy. And I fucking pay attention to her. Therefore, I know that this is your fault. You can either fix it, or get over her. Daisy will chill out eventually, but right now, to her, you’re public enemy number one.”
“I’m your brother .”
“And always will be. But this isn’t club business. It’s her friend. You made your bed, now lay in it or whatever the fuck they say.”
I jerked the door open and went back to my booth. What a fucking day and it’s not even lunchtime.
To pass time and try to keep my mind occupied, I cleaned my booth. Like a deep clean, down to the baseboards. Finally, I saw it was almost time for my first appointment of the day so I washed my hands and prepped the tray. It was a simple touch up to an older tat for Jackal. The color had faded, and he wanted to brighten it back up.
It was a few minutes past the time he was scheduled, so I went up front to see if he called, but he was standing there looking at photos of our work on the wall. “Hey man, didn’t know you were here,” I said as I looked over at Daisy.
She just shrugged and Jackal smirked when I waved him back. “She’s full of sunshine,” he said as he sat and took his shirt off. The work was on his bicep and up his shoulder. He was older than us, closer to Raven’s age, but he was still in good shape. He was a nomad, but he’d been around the last couple of months since shit went down.
“She’s full of something, that’s for sure.”
“Hey, be careful what you say about an Old Lady. You youngsters.”
“Okay, old man. Thanks for the tip. Since when were women so in control of everything?”
He laughed, the faint lines around his eyes crinkling. “Boy, as much as we try to act like they ain’t shit, they run it all. The good ones do, anyway. You’ll do well to remember that.”
Everyone has a fucking opinion today . “You don’t have an Old Lady, so you must have not come across too many good ones,” I said as I disinfected his arm then got my ink ready while it dried.
“I’ve had some good ones, but none ready for my lifestyle. It’s different when you don’t belong to a chapter. Even when you do, she better understand how it works. Some say they do, but when shit gets real, well, they take off.”
“Mmhhmm,” I agreed. But honestly, Lacy seemed to understand the life better than Daisy. Daisy had a lot of questions and fought Falcon on some things. Lacy just helped me clean up my cuts and was there when I needed her. She was a good one.
“Any new info?” I asked as I worked. Jackal had been staying in town to help us find Raven’s killer and see if we could get a lead on this new crime ring that seemed to be snatching women.
“Nope. But Hawk mentioned going out this weekend.”
I contained a moan. I just wanted to talk to Lacy and get some sleep. But if the prez wanted to go out, we’d go out. “Just keep me posted.”
“Hey, how’s that little pocket warmer of yours?” he asked.
The buzzing of the gun was grating on my nerves. I’d tell myself it was that and not him bringing up Lacy. “She’s okay I guess,” I answered as I dipped the needle in the ink before turning back and filling more color in.
“Now there’s a good one. You hang onto her. She ain’t no bunny.”
“I agree with you there.” Nothing was wrong with the bunnies. But they were there to keep us entertained and help out around the clubhouse. In return, they had a place to stay, plenty of food and drinks, and somewhat had our protection. But most of them had one singular mission–become an Old Lady–so they’d get pushy and forget their place. Most weren’t too bad, though. Sugar was a little aggressive with Falcon, but not long ago Daisy had it out with her and she’d been quiet ever since.
Lacy wasn’t like a bunny. The more I was in my head as I filled in the piece on Jackal, I realized that the bunnies all had similarities to my mom, none of which Lacy had exhibited. I wasn’t that I never wanted a woman, I just didn’t want a woman like them. I’d only seen the ones like her–selfish, working toward their own agendas, willing to do whatever they could to secure a place for themselves and what they wanted. An annoyed growl filled my chest when I realized what I’d been avoiding for so long was someone like me.
“Need a break, boy?” Jackal asked, breaking me from my racing thoughts.
“I’m good. You need one, old man?”
He let out a belly laugh so I pulled back the gun. He smiled then asked, “Something on your mind, boy?”
I dipped the needle in the ink and let out a deep breath before leaning back in. “Just tired.”
“You act like I’m not old enough to be your dad. I know what your problem is.”
“You’d have to have been pretty young to have me. You’re not quite his age.”
He huffed. “Would have been possible, boy. How’s your pops anyway? Saw him briefly a while back. Raven’s send-off I think.”
“He’s good. Haven’t checked in much in a while. With everything going on, just been busy.”
“You should never be too busy for those that love you. True family is a gift we don’t often see, even the ones that aren’t blood.”
I really liked Jackal but I wanted to ram the tattoo gun into his eye. I didn’t need such a hearty dose of reality when I was hungover on a Saturday afternoon. “I’ll call him later and tell him you said hello.”
“Can’t believe he never patched in. Good people, your pops.”
I nodded. “The best. Would’ve been cool to have him with me at the club, but he’s still the reason I’m in.” Talking about Dad made me realize it had been too long since I spoke to him. Maybe a little visit with him would do me some good.
After a little over two hours, Jackal was all set so I walked him out. Daisy smiled up at him after pulling him up on the computer. After she collected his cash, she offered change but he pointed to me. “That’s for this whippersnapper.”
She smacked the pile of bills on the edge of the counter but winked at Jackal. “Did your artist go over aftercare with you, sir?”
He grinned and stifled a laugh. “I think I’m good, Daisy. You keeping Falcon in line?”
She playfully rolled her eyes. “That’s like wrangling squirrels, Jackal, but I’m doing my best. You planning to stick around a bit? I thought you nomads were, well, nomadic.”
He ran his hand down his beard and nodded. “Usually we are. Just hanging around as a favor to Hawk and Cindy.” He knew Mama Hen before she was coined that, so he always just called her Cindy.
“Well, it’s good to have a gentleman around. So willing to look out for others. Selfless. I hope you’ll stay. Maybe some of the others can learn a thing or two from you.”
I cocked my head, tapping my fingers on the counter. Glancing at Jackal, he tipped his head for him to lead me outside. Pulling the door for him, I followed him out and shielded my eyes from the harsh sun. It was hot as fuck and the air was sticky and thick.
“You really fucked up, didn’t you, boy?”
There was no point in trying to pretend with him. “I think so.”
“If she’s that hot,” he said pointing inside, “I can’t imagine how mad your little pocket warmer is. You fuck a bunny or something?”
Turning quickly to face him I barked, “No!” Lots of brothers had no problem having a side piece. But even though I hadn’t claimed her, I didn’t want anyone else.
His brows shot up and he crossed his arms. I was the VP and he wasn’t even a member of our chapter, but with his years of service and the fact he was close to Raven and was here as a favor, he still demanded respect. Even so, I didn’t cower, but I did continue, “I didn’t need any ass with her around. She took care of that.”
“Well, I don’t need the rundown but you’re not yourself and her best friend is in there plotting your death, so you may want to try fixing whatever you did. Thanks for the work. And I may see you later or tomorrow, depending on Hawk.”
Jackal stepped off the sidewalk and headed to his bike. I stood in the blazing heat, my head tilted up with my eyes closed. I wasn’t sure if I was scared to go back in and face Daisy, or enduring the heat as punishment to myself for being so fucking stupid.
I was the goddamn VP of one of the largest MCs in the South. I wouldn’t hesitate to run into a gunfight, and didn’t blink at killing a man that I was ordered to without question. Yet, my own fucking ego prevented me from letting this angel of a woman inside and ended up driving her away.
Puffing my chest out with a deep breath, I decided then and there I’d get her back and stop fucking around. She’d be back tonight, and everything would be right again. How hard could it be to just man up and tell her how I’d been blind and stupid?
I walked back inside and thought it best not to antagonize Daisy, so I sped past her. Nothing I said right now to her would fix anything. And I couldn’t be mad at her. If anything, I appreciated that Lacy had someone who had her back. God knows she’d been through some shit and needed a solid friend. Especially when I hadn’t been there for her.
After a couple of smaller jobs, I cleaned up my booth and went to tell Falcon I was gone for the day. “Hey brother. I’m gonna go see my dad before I head to the clubhouse. But Jackal said something about going out tonight or tomorrow.”
He grunted and kept wiping his counter down. “Thanks for the heads up. No rest for the wicked, right?”
“Appears that way, man. Listen, I–”
“No need, brother. Just handle your business. Tell your dad I said what’s up.”
I popped my head in to let Scar know I was out, too. Blaze had already left for the day. They were members of DE, too, and had worked in the shop with us for a few years. Both did great work. Scar had a pretty boy face with short brown hair and eyes, but was covered in scars from past fights. They were all just usually hidden under his shirt. He was a crazy fucker and even after being shot and stabbed, would just keep fighting. I guess we all did, but he was intense when he was on a mission. Maybe it stood out since he was typically so easy going.
“I’ll see you later man. Hawk has me covering at the bar in a bit, but just until Red gets there,” Scar told me.
“Maybe I’ll run by. Gonna go see Dad and he could probably use a cold one.”
As I walked out, I didn’t stop for a response but said, “Have a good one, Daisy.”