Chapter 12
Lacy
Saturday was awful. I’d spent the whole day in my new bedroom. It was like being at a cute country inn, or at least what I’d imagine one would be like. After a quick stop toWaffle House Friday night so Jeannie could soak up her booze with a waffle and bacon, I drove us back to her house. It was about twenty minutes from the clubhouse and off a little side road. The house wasn’t in a neighborhood and the homes were spaced apart. Like she said, it wasn’t a giant house, but it was a cute little ranch-style home with a nice flat yard.
It was dark when we arrived, but the porch light was on, and I noticed some little planters in the small area. She had briefly given me a tour, but the tears I couldn’t get to stop just blurred everything. It smelled good, though, like clean linens. The clubhouse smelled like stale beer, cigarettes, and leather most of the time, so I took a little comfort in being here where it was quiet, cozy, and girly. Although, I had gotten used to the smells at the clubhouse.
Jeannie showed me the room I could sleep in, and I was surprised to find it had a small bathroom with a toilet and shower/tub combo. It was about the size of the one in Eagle’s room, but it had a feminine touch as well.
The bed was a queen size with a beautiful hand-sewn patch quilt and fluffy pillows. It even had a dresser and a closet with room to hang up clothes once I got a full wardrobe. It was like a cute little fairy-tale space. So warm and inviting. The mattress was like a cloud and the curtains were a pretty, light shade, but as I learned from not leaving the room all day yesterday, they kept the sun out very well.
Jeannie brought me a gallon of water, an actual gallon with a handle, as well as a few snacks throughout the day, but didn’t press me to get up or talk. She did give me a few silent hugs and I freely sobbed on her shoulder. But other than that, she left me to my wallowing.
Even though the curtains were great at keeping the light out, they weren’t full on black-out curtains and when the difference of light shone in when the sun rose, my eyes fought to open. I rubbed a day of crying off before they finally cracked open, and I let out a heavy sigh. I felt somewhat refreshed. Still sad, but no more tears seemed to be hiding just under the surface.
My stomach growled and I rolled over to see it was nine. That was late for me to sleep. At least it had been recently. Once I started working again, I’d likely be up around that time. I often functioned off six or so hours of sleep. Leaning up and throwing my legs over the side of the bed, I stood and stretched. I had only gotten up twice the day before to pee and now my bladder was screaming at me.
I cha-cha’d to the bathroom so I didn’t leak and made it in time. Once I was moving, the cloud that had fogged my mind the day before was lifting. I decided to take a shower and try to wash yesterday away. After I cleaned up, I stayed under the spray.
Leaning my head back into the hot stream of water, I closed my eyes and immediately saw Eagle’s smiling face. His dark hair was tucked behind his ears, the scruff on his face was a few days old, the way I loved it, and his brown eyes seemed to melt into me. A lump formed in my throat and my lip trembled. Fresh tears filled my eyes so I turned, letting the water run over my face.
I didn’t try to fight the sobs. Maybe if I could get it all out of my system, I could move on faster. Right now, I couldn’t imagine how I’d do it. All I could do is hope.
Once I finally stopped crying again and the water had run cold, I toweled off, got dressed, and brushed my hair and teeth. Swiping the steam from the mirror, I sneered at myself. My eyes were puffy and my face looked swollen. Looking down at my makeup bag, I just pushed it away and then walked out, wet hair and all. What’s the point?
Wandering down the hall, I found the living room and took it in. A fluffy white couch and loveseat surrounded a light wooden coffee table sat in the middle of the room. Some beauty magazines sat on the coffee table and different colored fuzzy pillows were thrown across the sofas. Sheer curtains covered the huge double windows facing the street.
Turning, I found the entrance to the kitchen. There was no door there, just a walkway into the other room and there was a little cutout over the sink looking into the living room. The kitchen had clear containers of graduated heights full of sugar, flour, and coffee. Jeannie is one of those ladies that keeps everything in cute little containers .
I had lived with a few roommates and some guys over the years after I left home and we never used cute little containers. None were ever particularly messy, but just very basic. Certainly not as organized and well stocked as Jeannie’s house. The bathroom was fully stocked and the kitchen proved to be the same.
The fridge was full and I found creamer. Coffee filters were in the cabinet above the cute little containers. I filled the coffee machine with fresh water and coffee grounds and watched as it dripped. She had a mug holder next to the coffee pot with little sayings on them so I pulled one down and found a spoon, ready to stir the flavored creamer into the hot coffee just as soon as it was done percolating.
“Hey girl,” Jeannie said on a yawn as she shuffled into the kitchen. “You one of those early birds?” she asked as she pulled her hair into a messy bun.
“Was I loud? I’m sorry. Just needed some coffee.”
She shrugged. “I’ll live. I can nap. I don’t work tonight anyway.”
“Oh.” I was hoping to ambush Mama Hen there later. She often goes over on Sundays. But without a car or any money I had no way to get there, other than catching a ride with Jeannie. I figured even if I couldn’t start right away, I could always hang by the bar or even serve some drinks. Servers at those places did okay, too.
“Why the pitiful ohhh ?” Jeannie asked through another yawn as she reached around me for a mug.
“I was just thinking if you had to go to work, I could tag along, maybe audition. But I can wait. When do you go back?”
The coffee pot finally stopped hissing, so I grabbed the carafe and filled both of our mugs, then poured some creamer into mine.
“We can go up there, but you need something to wear.” She took a sip of her coffee and crossed her arms, still holding the mug. “I have a few outfits you can borrow but you need your own thongs. Let me go shower. We’ll go shopping, then I’ll take you over. Mama Hen’s usually there before opening, anyway. She likes auditions without crowds.”
Before I could protest or thank her, not sure which I wanted to do since she moved so fast, she was gone. I wasn’t sure how quickly she’d be ready, and I couldn’t leave the house with my face and hair looking like it did, especially to audition, so I topped off my coffee and headed back to the bathroom.
After a few cups of coffee and a daytime face, I grabbed my makeup to take with me to go a little heavier once I was ready to go on stage. I didn’t often wear stage makeup out and about. Plus, it was so muggy outside, I’d just have to touch it up later anyway.
It was closer to eleven before we left and it was hot and bright out. Jeannie offered me a pair of sunglasses and we headed to the mall. We hurried inside away from the blistering Georgia sun and humid air.
We both flipped our sunglasses onto our heads as we walked through the automatic doors. The food court was just above us on the top level and my stomach growled again, reminding me I still hadn’t eaten. I only had a little bit of money. I managed to get out of the club when the guys rescued us just with what was on my person from the couple of hours I’d worked that night. Tony always took our cash before we got shuttled back to his prison he referred to as a compound.
“Hungry?” Jeannie asked as she walked toward the escalator going to the food court.
“I’m okay.” I had money, but I needed some fancy thongs and a new pair of platforms if I was going to audition. My guess was, I’d have the job if I went. I could make one pair of shoes last, but nobody wanted to recycle a piece of fabric that was jammed between the cheeks of your ass all night while dancing. I didn’t sweat a lot, but anyone would get a sheen of moisture from moving and being under the stage lights. Eeww . I probably had enough to buy shoes and thongs, maybe even a cute little outfit. But if I got to work, I’d have cash in no time. “Actually, yes. Let’s grab something. I don’t need a full tummy later, so best to eat early.”
We grabbed our food and ate in the bright open space upstairs with all the tables around. It was quiet for most of the meal, but no uncomfortable silence. Jeannie was easy to be around. Daisy was still my best friend, but it was nice to have another woman to lean on.
Jeannie finally pushed her tray to the side and wiped her hands. “Sorry I’m not very talkative. It’s early for me. But I feel a little better now.”
I wiped my face, finished with my food and said, “I’m so sorry. I told you I could’ve waited. You’ve already done so much for me.”
She waved me off with a crooked grin. “Girl, your bar is low. I’m just a friend helping a friend.”
Nodding, I sipped my diet soda through the straw. It had been low. I was still fragile; I couldn’t lie to myself about that. But, with time I’d see my worth and get back on my feet. “Okay,” I said as I took the last sip of my soda and stood. “Show me the shoe store first.”
After finding a great pair of platforms with clear straps and stocking up on some thongs, garters, and a cute little outfit to audition in, we then stopped to get pedicures. My money was running low, but I was confident Mama Hen would at least let me serve at the club, if not dance. Jeannie said she had plenty of outfits to hold me over for the week and I could build up a new dance wardrobe, and new daytime wardrobe, after working a few times.
I’d been shaving and using hair removal creams so no waxing was in order. Tony didn’t let us leave and while the girls at the compound could do a little hair color and trims, nobody waxed so I’d gotten used to other methods of keeping my snatch neat and tidy. Even though I hadn’t danced in a few months, I still liked to keep it completely clean or just a small little patch. I did buy some decent fake lashes before we left the mall. I had some really good mascara, but hadn’t gotten any lashes since I hadn’t been dancing and they were part of the normal ensemble.
We had browsed and lingered at the mall so long that it was after three in the afternoon before we arrived at Destiny’s Desires. It was a standalone building with ample parking and from the outside appeared to be a classier establishment. Some strip clubs were very bougie, and some were a little rough around the edges. I’d danced at both and everything in between. Some of the nicest ladies I’d met were at the not-so-fancy clubs. A lot of the women at the high-end clubs were catty, aggressive, and cutthroat when it came to work and men.
As we stepped from the car, I grabbed the bag I had brought from home and the bag with the shoes. I had already stuffed the cute little outfit and a new thong and garter inside. Looking up, the building appeared to be well kept. I briefly wondered if I’d encounter any of the less friendly brand of women here, since it seemed like a nicer place. But when Jeannie shut her door and walked around, putting her hand out for me to take, I took it and my shoulders relaxed. If any of them were half as nice as Jeannie, I’d be fine.
Walking up to the door, my stomach knotted when I saw Butch. He was in the MC with Eagle. He had been seated but stood when he saw us. He had thick blond hair that was a faux hawk style. He was one of the bigger guys in the club, and probably in his forties if I had to guess. He wasn’t ever mean to me, but not overly friendly either. Most of the guys seemed to dodge me and Daisy like the plague, more so her than me, but the men of DE didn’t look too long and hard at me or speak much.
As we got closer, he tipped his aviator sunglasses down and looked me over with a furrowed brow. “Jeannie, how’s it going?” he asked, still seeming to size me up.
Jeannie squeezed my hand. “Not bad at all. We went shopping. Came to talk to Mama Hen.” She pushed her sunglasses on top of her head. “She been here long?”
Mama Hen’s SUV was in the parking lot which only had a few cars. The club was open, but in my experience, daytime traffic was typically lighter, unless there was a special on wings and beer.
Butch took another obvious once over of me, making the knots in my belly tighten even more, before he covered those piercing blue eyes with his sunglasses. “A while. What’s she doing here?”
“I’m right here and I can hear you. I came to audition.” I may have been indebted to the club, but Butch hadn’t done jack shit for me and fuck him for acting like I wasn’t even human enough to address directly when he could speak to Jeannie.
However, I fought to keep my head up as he straightened and turned his head in my direction, holding my gaze. Most of these men were intense and even though I had no solid proof, I knew they weren’t opposed to violence. So far, none against women, but most of the women didn’t talk back either.
“I’ll let that one slide but watch your fucking tone with me.”
Jeannie squeezed my hand with one but put her other up to Butch’s shoulder. “Now, Butch, this isn’t the clubhouse and she’s not a bunny. Let’s play nice.”
A growl reverberated from his chest, and he crossed his arms, still not turning from me. “Not a bunny, huh? Last I heard, you weren’t claimed.”
Heat rose in my chest, creeping to my face. But I’d already popped off once. If I wanted to eventually return to the clubhouse, and have a decent working environment, I couldn’t push his buttons. “You’re right. But I’m not staying there anymore, either. Just trying to make some money. I apologize for the snarky comment.”
He didn’t uncross his arms, but he tilted his head so I could see his eyes again. “Since when?”
“Butch, it’s a thousand degrees out here. You guys can chat later but we’re gonna melt.” Jeannie pulled me behind her. I almost lost my bags in the process. “Nosy fuck,” she said once inside.
I looked back. He took a seat and pulled his phone out. “Oh God, do you think he’s telling Eagle I’m here?”
Jeannie shrugged. “Maybe. So, we better find Mama Hen fast.” She grinned and dragged me behind her. She acted like it was funny, but I felt sick. Would he come up here? “Hey, I thought he was, like…important at the club. He goes to their little closed-door meetings. Why is he at the door?”
Jeannie slowed as we walked down a hall past some dressing rooms. “He’s sort of the main guy here. He swaps with members sometimes, but he’s probably the best one to have posted outside.”
Vinny was Tony’s main guy at his club, but he was usually inside with us, wandering around. The other clubs just had regular bouncers. Who knows, maybe they were all MC or mafia or something and I just didn’t realize? It just seemed odd to me that someone of his rank at the club would be the doorman. I’d picked up a few things hanging around the clubhouse so much, and Jeannie and Mama Hen told us a lot if we asked. Butch was now the Sergeant at Arms. He pretty much enforced the rules of the club. I guess he took that seriously here as well, but how he could stand to be outside in that heat was beyond me. Eagle was VP, but that was new. Dammit . Why did he always pop into my head?
Jeannie stopped and gently knocked on a door at the end of the hallway. “Come in,” Mama Hen called from inside. We walked in and Mama Hen turned away from the computer and smiled. “Hey ladies. Whatchu doing down here?” Even though she smiled, her eyes gave away that she was uncertain about me being there.
Jeannie walked around the desk and crouched down, putting her arm around her shoulders. “It’s time for her to audition.”
I swallowed hard, my mouth suddenly dry as bone. I wasn’t nervous about dancing. I was nervous that Mama Hen was concerned, and I still couldn’t shake the thought of Butch telling Eagle I was here. He’d find out soon enough, but it wouldn’t be a great audition if he came storming in. Or would he? Maybe I hoped he would react that way, but in all honesty he was probably glad to have his room back to himself. He could even have it occupied with someone else by now. My wishful thinking already had me heartbroken. When would I learn?
Mama Hen sighed then looked up at Jeannie. “Show her where to change and come get me when she’s ready. Stage four should be empty right now.”
Jeannie squealed and hugged Mama Hen before she manhandled me out the door, pushing me down the hall toward one of the rooms we had passed. “Here. I like this one, the mirrors are better. Can’t explain why, they just are.”
I nervously laughed, but with it went some of my apprehension. Eagle didn’t care I was here, so Butch could blab all he wanted. I needed to worry about myself and getting some money so I could start over. Jeannie’s excitement was palpable and was breathing life into me. “You sure are excited. If you wanted to see me naked you should have just asked,” I joked.
“ Ha ha . I am excited. You’re like Julia Roberts in Sleeping with The Enemy. This is your new start.”
“Except Eagle wasn’t abusive and controlling and I didn’t change my whole identity,” I said as I changed into my new outfit. It was a bit corny and cliché, but a little schoolgirl outfit always got good tips. Of course, the skirt barely covered my ass and the white button down shirt was almost too small. I pulled some makeup from my bag and shaped up my eyes with some heavy liner, dark shadow, then applied the falsies I’d bought after giving them a slight trim to fit my eyes. Once I’d finished with the foundation touchup, I added some highlighter and tinted gloss. “Oh shit, I didn’t get body powder.”
Jeannie cocked a brow. “Girl, like we don’t have that laying all over the place.” She walked to another mirror and grabbed a small jar and a blush brush. “Here, this is mine. And there is plenty where that came from.”
Smiling at her kindness, I opened the jar and puffed the brush a few times then swiped it over me. It gave your skin a little shimmery glow, but it also helped wick moisture off you. Strippers liked sparkly shit, but we also didn’t want to slip and slide on the pole.
My final touch was a couple of easy-up messy buns for the school-girl look. Once I had my hair pinned enough to hold for part of the set, I strapped on my new platform sandals, a garter, and stood up. “How do I look?”
“Fucking spectacular.” Jeannie beamed at me. “I’ll tell her you’re ready.”
Looking in the mirror, I turned and grinned. It had been a while since I danced, and even longer since I was in control. Being forced to work for Tony wasn’t the same as choosing your club. Plus, we didn’t just dance there. But I knew here, none of that shit would happen; it wasn’t allowed.
All the ladies that worked for Mama Hen told me she ran a tight ship, and if she caught anyone doing extras for money, they were out. She had told me before that she didn’t care if women wanted to prostitute, but it wasn’t legal here and she wouldn’t have anyone putting her business or the MC in jeopardy. If they wanted to do that on their own time away from her club, it was none of her business. Technically, the club belonged to the MC, but she managed it, and until Raven was killed, it was really theirs.
Things were still up in the air with all the changes, but one thing was certain–Mama Hen was the HBIC. Everything still went through the officers at the club, but as far as women went, she was the top dog and with Hawk, the new president, being her son, I didn’t imagine that would change anytime soon.
“C’mon,” Jeannie said as she reached her hand out for me. I checked my buns to be sure they were secure then took her hand and followed her to the stage.
Jeannie and Mama Hen took a seat up front and I climbed the short steps and walked to the pole, plastering a seductive grin on my face and channeling all my sexy energy. As Selena Gomez’s voice started singing Good for You , I got to work. I was happy to start with a slower tune so I didn’t tire myself out. I’d save most of the acrobatics for the next song. You didn’t have to hang upside down on the pole to get good tips. A lot of it was just sensual moves and eye contact. I moved to the rhythm, teasing at my skirt before slowly removing my shirt. I’d have the top and skirt off by the end of the first song. Most auditions were two or three songs, but I would just watch for Mama Hen to signal me.
As I pulled my shirt off, exposing a sparkly bra top, I noticed Butch out of the corner of my eye. He had come inside. Something about the way he watched unnerved me. Was he showing solidarity to Eagle and being pissy that I was there?
Unsure of his motives, I decided if he wanted a show, I’d give him one. I turned and took the bra off, dropping it to the stage. Pulling the pins from my buns, my thick hair fell past my shoulders and I shook it out as I turned, giving a good shake to my breasts as I did. Instead of ire, he grinned. Deciding he was just a man, like any other, getting a look at fresh tits, I continued my dance, unzipping the short skirt and letting it fall to the stage.
Jeannie clapped and the few men that were there walked to the stage and dropped some cash. I sauntered over and grabbed it, stuffing it into my garter then walked back to the pole as the next song began.
It was more upbeat but not fast. Doja Cat You Right played on the speakers, so I took to the pole. I didn’t look back at Butch or anyone else. I focused on me and my body. Jeannie was still clapping and giving me some whistles, but I danced like nobody was watching. Grabbing the pole, I climbed it before finally wrapping a leg around and giving myself a good swing before I let my hands go and twirled, only my legs holding me up.
I was upside down, but saw a few men walk to the stage to leave me more cash. Smiling at myself, I leaned up and held on with my hands as I let my legs swing behind me before I made my way back down to land on my feet then fell into a split. All those years of dance my parents paid for came in handy now.
After moving my legs and sitting up in a kneeling position, I leaned over, spreading myself as I leaned forward and made eye contact with one of the men watching. I had done it hundreds of times before, and he was smiling back with his hand on his cash. But I had to fight to keep the smile on my face. It felt wrong. Dancing was fine. Undressing was fine. But staring into a strange man’s eyes was unsettling. I rolled over so I could break eye contact and ran my hands over my breasts lightly.
Pulling myself into a kneeling position again, I leaned the other direction, displaying my ass and nearly all of my pussy since a thong didn’t cover much. It was much more comfortable than sharing a look. Giving a rock to my hips, I tried to focus on the music. Finally, a sharp whistle, different from the catcalls Jeannie was making, sounded and the song was ending.
I glanced over my shoulder and Mama Hen waved me to her. I grabbed the cash from the stage and gave a big grin to the men that had gathered before heading to the table she sat at with Jeannie.
Not bothering to put my clothes back on just yet, I strolled over, hoping to exude the confidence I once had. “So, what did you think?”
Mama Hen smiled up at me. “You’ll fit in great. When can you start?”
I bit my lip, hoping I could fight the tears of relief that wanted to spill out. One step closer to moving on.
“Oh, one more thing, hon,” Mama Hen said.