Chapter 13
Lacy
After Mama Hen gave me the job, she told me to go get dressed and head to her office. I figured she couldn’t slide me into the rotation that fast but needed to finalize things with me before coming back.
Prepared to explain I didn’t have any IDs right now but they were on the way soon, I was caught off guard when she told me to take a seat and folded her hands in front of her on the desk. The look on her face made it seem like she was about to tell me someone died. My heart raced even though I had no clue what this could be about.
After a heavy sigh, she finally spoke. “Hon, Eagle’s looking for you.”
My mouth fell open and I looked around, even though the office door was closed. “Here?”
She waved her hand. “No, no, no. He’s not here. Not yet anyway. But you’re crazy if you think all the members won’t mention it to him. Hell, Butch may have already told him.”
“I wondered about that when I got here. But I told Eagle it’s over. He can’t control what I do.” I had so much more to say, to defend myself, but I had to stop and swallow down the lump that rose in my throat. Saying it like that out loud wasn’t as easy as I’d thought.
“I understand. Jeannie filled me in a bit. But he won’t stop looking ‘til he finds you and he’s like a dog with a bone. That’s part of why he’s VP. He was really torn up, Lacy.”
Turning my head, hoping I could fight back the tears if I wasn’t looking at her pity-eyes, I swallowed hard again and took a deep breath. “I don’t want that. But I told you, I just can’t do it anymore.”
“Okay. Well, just so you know, I wanted to tell you. Anyway, come back Tuesday. You’ll start with the day shift. We open at eleven thirty.”
The day shift wasn’t terrible. Certainly not as lucrative as the weekend night shifts, but if the club was in a decent area, which this one seemed to be, you could do well with businessmen lunching or entertaining customers. This place was closer to Atlanta than the clubhouse and there were lots of tall, fancy buildings nearby.
I had gotten used to waking early and not staying up until four or five in the morning. Even though the club closed at two, like most I worked for, you didn’t get to sleep right then. Starting on the day shift would help me work my way back to the late nights.
“How many shifts can I take?”
“Four. Do Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday for now. Sound good?”
“Yes ma’am. Just happy to get back to work and on my own two feet again.”
I stood up and she did as well, walking around her desk and grabbing my face. “You’ll fit in great here. You let me know if you need anything okay?”
“Thanks, Mama Hen,” I said before giving her a big hug, then walking out of her office.
Jeannie was still waiting at the table I left her sitting at. She looked up from her phone and smiled, standing as she grabbed her keys from the table. “Ready?”
Looking around, I noticed Butch wasn’t still lingering around. Great . He’d be back at the door. I still didn’t understand why he stood at the door. At the clubhouse they had new guys with no patches guard the driveway and stand around the edge of the property’s tree line, as well as at all the doors. I’d come with Eagle the first time and been around him enough that nobody ever questioned me. Hanging around all the time, I noticed their cuts were different and asked some of the other girls and they explained they were prospects. They wanted to be in the club, but had to earn their patch. Seemed silly all they had to do was stand guard at what was already a fortress.
Determined to stand my ground with his brothers since I planned to be around a while, I lifted my chin and walked outside, hoping my poker face was as good as I imagined.
“Not sticking around?” Butch asked as soon as we walked outside. A plume of smoke surrounded him as he flicked the tip of the cigarette he held.
“No. We’re taking off,” Jeannie said before I could answer.
“You ladies have a nice day,” he said dryly.
I smiled and answered, “Thanks, you too.” Fucker . He had always been a douche, but before I just thought it was because he was being respectful to Eagle or something. But, no, apparently my intuition was right. At least he mostly stayed outside. Although he did make it a point to come ogle when I auditioned. I mean, it was a strip club and that’s exactly what I was there for—men to ogle—but something about him made it creepy. He had been outside when we came, then went back out when I was done.
Shaking it off, I hopped in the car with Jeannie, and she squealed as she started the engine. “I knew you’d get it but I’m still so excited for you, girl! Let’s go grab some snacks and drinks to celebrate!” She cranked up the music and peeled out of the parking lot.
I was surprised and relieved when we pulled into a grocery store. When she said drinks and snacks I assumed she meant out somewhere. I grabbed my bag and stepped from the car, following her inside. “What kind of snacks should we get?” I’d rather hang at Jeannie’s place and veg out. It was great to finally get out of the clubhouse but I was a homebody. An extroverted introvert I guess they called it. I enjoyed getting all dolled up to dance, and having such control over men was fun. But some of the best times I had were laying around the clubhouse with the bunnies watching TV and sitting in the courtyard, soaking up the sun with Daisy. Thinking of the clubhouse pulled at my heart. I missed Daisy and the others. I missed Eagle.
“Sound good?”
“Huh?”
Jeannie laughed and grabbed my arm, dragging me down an aisle. “Girl, are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I answered with a big sigh. “Just a whirlwind. New place. New job. Lots of new.”
“I was saying just grab a bunch of frozen snacks, we can pop ‘em into the oven, a few beers of course. If you want something besides hard seltzer and wine, we’d have to go to the liquor store. Or did you want to go out?”
Shaking my head hard, I said, “No, staying in sounds perfect. Plus, I don’t feel like partying. Chilling at home is perfect.”
After we got more junk food than the two of us could ever eat and a case of beer, we headed back to her place. I changed into comfy clothes and washed my face. I hadn’t done stage makeup in so long it was irritating my eyes. Plus, it was so muggy here compared to back home and it just got all cakey and shiny. I’d have to invest in some better primer and setting spray, but I wouldn’t have any more cash until I worked. I’d make do with what I had for now. Plus, Jeannie already said we could go shopping again once I had a few shifts under my belt.
I went to the kitchen and she had already preheated the oven and gotten several cooking sheets ready with our snacks and put the beer away.
She pulled two out of the fridge and once I took mine, she tapped her bottle against it. “Cheers to all the new, my sweet friend.”
“Cheers,” I said before taking a long swig.
Once the oven beeped, she put the food in to cook and changed. We found our movie line-up while we waited on the food, then put our spread on the coffee table before grabbing our next beer.
We ate, drank, and were merry, watching a mix of scary movies and RomComs. I was relaxed, with a pretty good buzz, and having so much fun.
“Next time, we need to do a girls night and get Daisy’s ass over here,” Jeannie said as she came back with more beer for us both.
The snacks were picked over, but like I assumed, it was much more than we should have prepared. Feeling bad, I leaned over to grab a lukewarm mozzarella stick. “She would love this. I miss her already. But,” I said as I put my beer down and finished off my bite of food, “you’ve been such a great friend. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Jeannie’s blue eyes sparkled and she squeezed my hands. “It’s been fun having someone here. You’d do it for me.”
My breath hitched as sadness and embarrassment crept up. “Yeah, if I had anything to offer. And this is so stupid, but I miss him. I miss him so much it hurts.” The truth of it was only exacerbated by the vocalization and sent a wave of sheer sorrow through my body.
Jeannie pulled me close as my body shook and rocked us as she squeezed me. “Aww, that’s not stupid. I get it. And it’s not your fault the position you’re in. You’ll be back on your feet in no time.” She pulled away and grabbed my cheeks. “It’ll all work out. You’ll see. But for now, at least you have a little space to get your head straight, right?”
I swallowed down the lump that rose in my throat and smiled. Wiping my cheeks of the tears that rolled down, I sniffled. “Yeah, I just didn’t realize I’d be so emotional. It shouldn’t be this hard.” We were never officially together and it had only been a few months. Why was I so upset? Stupid alcohol.
Jeannie shrugged. “I wish I could help, but matters of the heart seldom make sense. But with time, it’ll get easier. I’m sure of it.”
I pulled her back in for another hug and the tears slowed and the sobs stopped shaking my body when there were several loud bangs on the door. We both squealed and dug our fingers into each other.
Several more loud bangs were followed by shouting. “It’s Eagle. Open up. I saw your car outside.”
“Oh shit,” Jeannie said as I struggled to breathe. “What do you want me to do?”
Bang, bang, bang. “Open the door!” He was even louder that time.
Jeannie gripped my arms and gave me a little shake. “Lacy,” she whispered. “What should I do? I can’t just let him make a scene. My neighbors are decent but it’s late and he’s being obnoxious.”
Bang, bang, bang . Bang, bang, bang, bang.
I whispered back, “I guess open the door before he breaks it down.” He was banging so hard it seemed the door would fall off the hinges. “Just tell him you don’t know anything?” I said as more of a request than a demand.
Jeannie nodded with wide eyes and smoothed her ponytail as she stood and hustled to the door. I ran to the kitchen to hide but still be able to hear.
The door clicked open and I tried to manage my breaths to stay quiet, but my heart was racing and it was making me breathe like I ran a marathon. I was ducked down since there was a cutout over the sink that looked into the living room. I was having déjà vu of being a teen trying to hide being drunk from my parents when Jeannie’s voice went up two octaves and boots stomped inside.
“Well, if she’s not here, why you acting so nervous?” Eagle’s voice sounded edgy. Nothing like his normal happy-go-lucky demeanor.
“This is my home, not the clubhouse, Eagle,” Jeannie protested as I hid by the cabinets.
The heavy footsteps were getting closer to the kitchen door. After having lost track of how many beers I had, my brain was in toddler mode thinking if I just stayed still nobody could see me. Plus, I was petite. I could just tuck myself super close to the cabinets and practically be invisible.
My eyes were squeezed shut when the boots stopped and a loud gasp filled the kitchen. “What the fuck are you doing?”
I peeked with one eye, hoping he wasn’t talking to me. No such luck. Eagle stood at the end of the counter, head cocked, hands on his hips, glaring down at me. His hair was loose around his face, not tucked behind his ears. It reminded me of how it fell when he was fucking me. My damn pussy was a traitorous bitch who was suddenly acting like nothing was wrong and wanted to be filled up by this tall drink of water.
“Um, I dropped something and can’t find it.”
He took long strides toward me and grabbed my arm, pulling me to stand. “No, I mean what the fuck are you doing here ?”
Jeannie was standing in the kitchen door grimacing with her hands up, then mouthed, “I’m so sorry.”
“I was watching movies. What are you doing here?”
Still gripping my arm, he said, “Looking for you. What the fuck, Lacy? Why are you here? How long have you been here?” His brow was furrowed and his lips were a thin line. His dark eyes were wild and unwavering from mine.
“Why does it matter?” The question was simple enough, I thought, but apparently he didn’t like it.
His grip tightened. “Why does it matter? You fucking said we would talk.”
“No, I didn’t.” Did I? Goddammit why did I have to be drunk right now?
“Lacy, I told you I wanted to talk–”
“And I told you it was over.”
Suddenly he was down to my height, in my face squeezing both of my shoulders. “No you fucking didn’t. You said you were moving out of my room and that was it! I told you I wanted to talk.”
Jeannie grabbed his arm, trying to pull him off. “Let her go, Eagle. I’ll fucking call Hawk if you don’t stop your shit.”
He stopped, loosening his grip before finally dropping his hands to his sides. He licked his lips, his nostrils flaring and his face red. His jaw was grinding then he blew out a deep breath and tucked his hair behind his ears. “I’m sorry. I would never hurt you, Lacy. You know that.”
“You already did, Eagle! You already did!” I shouted. “That’s why I’m here. And what difference does it make? Just go. That’s what you’re good at.” I pushed past him and nearly knocked Jeannie down on my way out of the kitchen. I’d apologize once he was gone. I just needed to get to my room and lock the door. I couldn’t do this and didn’t want to look at him right now. I couldn’t control my emotions or my reactions in this state and I didn’t like it.
Alcohol really made you think you were quicker than you were because he was right behind me and grabbed my arm. “No. You’re the one who lied and then fucking ran off without a goddamn word. I’ve been worried as fuck.”
I tried to jerk free but he was too strong. “Worried about what? You never worried about me before. I’m sure you can find a bunny to suck your dick since that’s all I was to you.” My face got hot and pressure was building behind my eyes.
“That’s not true and you know it. This is why I wanted to talk to you, Lacy, but you fucking took off without so much as a fuck you.”
His grip loosened again so I jerked away but didn’t move. Instead, I crossed my arms, hoping I could keep the tears from falling. I stared at the patch on his cut with his club name because I was too scared to look at his face. He was so handsome and seemed so upset. If I looked too long, I’d want to console him. I kept trying to stand my ground, but the drinks made it all fuzzy and my body always reacted to him immediately. I’d missed his touch so much, and he wasn’t hurting me. He’d held me tighter while we were fucking than how he was grabbing me now. He was right; I knew he wouldn’t physically hurt me. But I was right, too, when I said he had hurt me.
“Eagle, you’re right. I said I was moving out of your room and nothing else, but honestly I didn’t think it would matter. You hurt me. Over and over. And I can’t let you anymore. I know you didn’t mean to, but you did.” Fucking tears. Here we go.
He stepped closer, reaching for my hand and I didn’t pull away. “Lacy, I know. And I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to and I didn’t want to.” He looked over his shoulder then back at me. “I’d like to discuss this in private. I just want a chance to talk. To explain. Please,” he said with a break in his voice.
My drunken thoughts were so scattered and seeing Jeannie peeking around from the kitchen made me wonder something. “How did you find me?”
“After looking everywhere else and realizing Jeannie hadn’t been around either, I just put it together. Can we go somewhere to talk?”
I pulled my hand away. “So nobody told you I was here?” I highly doubted Daisy would sell me out, and Mama Hen could have but she also was the one who told me to do what’s best for me. Butch could have told him, but wouldn’t he just tell me that? It’s not like I could question the brotherhood.
He shook his head. “No. So, can we talk?”
“How do you know where Jeannie lives?” As soon as the question came out, I regretted it, because somehow I knew the answer.
Jeannie looked at the ground and Eagle scratched his short beard. “Lacy, I’ve never lied to you and I won’t start now. But that was a long time ago and it wasn’t a big deal.” He turned back and said, “No offense.”
Jeannie answered, “None taken.”
Looking back and forth between them, my stomach knotted and all the snacks and beer decided it was time to make a grand exit. Running toward my room, I slammed the bedroom door then ran to the bathroom, locking it behind me before I flipped the lid up just in time to lose the contents of my stomach.
The door handle jiggled as I wretched again and Eagle’s voice was at the door. “Lacy! Lacy, open the door!”
Tears stung my eyes as I pulled toilet paper from the roll to wipe my face after flushing the toilet. “No!” I yelled before I sobbed. Then my stomach tightened again and another round came up.
The handle jiggled again then he started banging on the door. “Open the door. Let me help you, Lacy!” He kept banging over and over as I wretched again.
My nose and throat were on fire and the tears came so hard and fast I couldn’t see to open the door even if I wanted to. But I couldn’t look at him right now.
The banging stopped and Jeannie’s voice was on the other side of the door. “Sweetie, I’m so sorry. Please let me help.”
“Both of you, please leave me alone!” I wailed before another round forced its way from my stomach.
Another loud bang rattled the door. It sounded like a kick and that was followed by Jeannie yelling but not at me.
I sat on the floor, praying to the porcelain gods to bring me some relief and got sick several more times in peace before I was able to crawl to the sink. I yanked the fluffy white hand towel down and managed to turn the water on and wet it before wiping my face then laying it over my neck. I wasn’t sure if I was done, so I went back to the toilet and hugged it, resting my head on my arm before my eyes closed.