Chapter 6
When my eyesfluttered open in the recovery room, I couldn’t remember much of anything. Minutes later, Pearce was there.
“How’re you feeling?”
“I dunno,” I slurred. “Where am I?”
“You’re in the recovery room and you just came out of surgery. You did great, honey. We’re going to keep you here a bit longer and then send you up to a room. Hey, do you remember anything that happened?”
“No. Yeah.” I closed my eyes and drifted off.
Voices drifted over me and Pearce woke me up again.
“Hey, Alexia, it’s time to wake up now. You have to stay awake for a while before we send you up to your room. Standard procedure.”
“But I’m sleepy.”
“I know. It’s the anesthesia. It’ll wear off in a bit. How’s your pain?”
“S’okay.”
“Good. Talk to me, sweetheart.”
“You called me sweetheart,” I murmured.
“I did, didn’t I?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Is there anything you want to tell me?”
“Yeah. You’re very pretty. No. Not pretty. You’re hot. Yeah, hot. Super-duper hot.”
I’m pretty sure he chuckled.
“Anything else? Like about what happened?”
“No! I don’t want to talk about that. I was terrified. Thought I was gonna die.”
“Do you know who did this to you?”
“No! Why would someone do that to me? I’m not a mean person. I know I’m fucked up and everything. Ever since Peter died. I’m such a mess. But I’m not mean to anyone. Why would they be that horrible to me? I’m scared, Pearce.” The tears hit then.
“Hey, you’re safe here now. No one can hurt you here. You can’t think of anything at all?”
“No. Maybe God was just punishing me for being so bad.” I sniffed and tried to wipe my face.
He was there with a soft cloth, doing it for me. “Don’t say that, Alexia. God isn’t like that.”
“He isn’t?”
“No.”
“I don’t know. I’ve done bad things. A lot of bad things. First Peter and now myself. Maybe I deserved this. Can I sleep now?”
“Not yet.”
“Will you tell them not to turn off my light. I’m afraid of the dark. And tell them to leave the door open, okay?”
“Okay.” He held my hand.
I wanted to sleep but he wouldn’t let me. I begged and pleaded with him. Finally, they came to take me up to my room. I reminded Pearce to tell them about the lights and the door. It freaked me out to be trapped inside of a small space.
* * *
The ride upto my room was a lost memory, but I woke up later in the day, hurting like all get-out. The pain prevented me from sitting up, so I plopped back down on the bed. I wanted to call Terri or Lisbeth. I knew they’d be worried about me. I didn’t even know what day it was. My manager at Camellia’s needed to be notified too. Locating the button on the bed to call the nurse, I finally found and punched it.
A nurse came in and I asked her if she could help me out of bed because I needed to go to the bathroom.
“Sweetie, you don’t need to worry about that. You have a catheter.”
“Huh?”
“You have a catheter. You just go whenever you want. You don’t have to get up.”
I picked up the sheets and saw that tube shooting out of me. “Eww! That’s really gross.”
“Well, it does the job. Now, on a scale of one to ten, how’s your pain?”
“Maybe a twenty,” I groaned.
“Let me get you something, then. I’ll be right back.”
She left before I had a chance to ask her about my purse.
She was back in a jiffy and stuck something in my IV line. Then I asked her about my purse. She said she’d check on it. I told her I needed to make some phone calls and she showed me the phone. Duh, it was right there, next to the bed. She also told me that I was supposed to call Pearce the minute I woke up.
“He’s been checking on you every hour. Never seen anything like it, hon. I’ve known that man for a few years now and he’s never shown an interest in anything that’s the opposite sex. But with you, it’s another story. Do me a big favor and call him right away. If you don’t, I’ll get a good butt chewing from him. Here’s his number.” She handed me a slip of paper.
“Yes, ma’am, I will. And thank you for taking such good care of me.”
“Just doing my job.”
* * *
What wouldI say to him? I wanted to hear his voice and he’d been so honest-to-goodness sweet to me. God, no one had been that great to me other than Terri. But there was too much at stake. I wanted to wrap myself around him and never let him go, but he deserved much more than some nasty sleaze like me. Why couldn’t I be someone else, just for a day? Someone who was normal just for once?
I quickly dialed Pearce’s number before I lost my nerve. He picked up on the first ring.
“Middleton.”
“Hi. It’s Lexi,” I murmured, as my heart thundered in my ears.
“Lexi?”
“Yeah, Alexia.”
“Alexia! How’re you feeling? I’ve been calling in to check on you.”
“That’s what the nurse told me. I’m okay. Very sore and all. I’ll be fine soon.”
“Of course, you will.”
“Thank you for being with me throughout it all yesterday. I really appreciate it.”
“You’re very welcome. I never would have wanted you to go through that alone. Are you up for some company over lunch?”
“If you can stand the sight of me.”
“See you around noon, then.”
Hanging up the phone, I called Lisbeth. She assured me everything was fine, and that Pearce had kept her informed every step of the way. She was worried to death about me and wanted to come to the hospital. I told her that was not happening. I didn’t want her to see me like this. She could see me when I came home. Besides, I knew there wasn’t a thing she could do except for worry about me. I promised I’d call her every day with updates on my condition.
I finally dialed Terri’s number and she lit into me like a wildfire. She gave me the biggest cussing I ever got from anyone in my life. She raked me up one side and down the other and then broke down and cried, told me she would kill me if I ever let anything like this happen again and then said she was on her way to the hospital. Before I could even get a word in, she hung up the phone. Twenty minutes later she was busting through my door and crawling all over my bed.
“What the hell, girl. Stop, you’re killing me. I just had surgery. You need to take it easy on me.”
“Huh-uh. I just found out where you’d disappeared to, found out you’d been abducted for Christ’s sake, held hostage or whatever, then dumped on the side of the road and left there for God knows how long with stab wounds and a skull fracture and you tell me to take it easy on you? Are you crazy? You’re my bestie and you could’ve died for Christ’s sake. What do you expect from me?”
“Well, when you put it that way, I can see why you’re acting this way. But be careful, please. I have staples and stuff. Plus, this disgusting catheter. Not to mention all these other tubes and wires. And I’m in tons of pain.”
“Okay. Okay. I’m sorry! Do you even remember anything?”
“Yeah, and it scares the ever-loving hell outta me. Seriously.”
“Oh, Lexi.” She grabbed both of my hands and squeezed.
I shuddered and closed my eyes for a second. Then I released a long breath. “Okay, I’ll tell you this. I went to King Street to grab a bite to eat. I was on my way to the Golden Nugget when I heard my name. I looked across the street, and of all people, it was one of the dudes from that Friday night a while back.”
“Who?”
“Fred or Barney. One of the two. You know,” I groaned.
“Right.”
“He started chatting it up with me, so I made some lame excuse to get away. I ran down the street to put some distance between us. I was walking fast, nearly running, and not paying attention to where I was going that I ran smack-dab into Smoky Eyes.”
“Who is Smoky Eyes?”
“The hot dude from the restaurant. You know the night I had the big table in the private room?”
“Nope. Not following.”
“Darn. I must’ve forgotten to tell you about him. Anyway, he was smoking hot with these amazing gray eyes. He left me a two-hundred-dollar tip with his card and a note asking me to call him.”
“Did you?”
“No! I wanted to get my act straightened out first. Anyway, I barreled right into his amazing chest in my haste to get away from Fred-Barney. I mean literally. I nearly fell on my ass. He caught me and stopped me from slamming on the ground. That’s when I looked right up into his face.”
“Yikes!”
“Exactly!” I told her the rest of the story and ended up with him at my bedside in the ER.
“Geez, Lex. I think he really likes you.”
“Terr, the feeling is mutual, but I’m such a mess, he doesn’t need me around him. Add this whole incident to the mix and now you don’t have just fucked-up Lexi, now I’m Train-Wreck-Fucked-Up-Lexi.”
“Quit being so hard on yourself. Besides, he’s a grown man. Let him decide for himself if you’re too fucked up for his tastes.”
“No way. Then he’ll end up hating me. And I’ll hate myself more than I already do, if that’s even possible. Besides, he scares me to pieces. There’s something about him, Terr, that sets me on fire. I mean, I could see myself doing things with him that, well, I’m afraid I’ll just mess things up like I did with Peter. You know, while I was being held by those guys, I wondered if this was God’s way of punishing me for my disgusting behavior.”
“Would you stop already?”
“No, I’m being serious here. The thing is, I’ve decided, I mean really decided that I’m done with that lifestyle. No more clubs, bars, whatever. I’m cleaning my act up. I’ll keep on working for Lisbeth, but I may look for a normal kind of job too. I don’t know what. I’ll keep on working at Camellia’s if they haven’t already replaced me. But I’m done with it all. When I get well enough, I’m trashing all my ho clothing and turning over a new leaf. I’m scared to death those dudes will come back for me. I don’t know what they wanted with me, but they knew who I was. It’s freaking me out, Terri. I think they would’ve killed me. I could’ve died.” I ran my hands through my hair and then clasped them together to try to get them to stop shaking.
She dropped her head. “I have no words. I’m sorry for all this. Maybe you need to get a gun and take some self-defense classes or something. After you’re cleared by your doctor, we’ll sign up for that.”
“I think you may be right.”
We talked for a bit longer but then I told her I was really hurting and getting sleepy. She left, with the promise of returning that night.
I curled up into a ball, hugging my knees as close to my chest as my wounds would allow. I wished I lived in a world where my parents cared about me and would be here to comfort me. Where I had a room to go home to with someone to help me, so I didn’t have to be alone and frightened. Where I had the confidence in myself to not be afraid to get involved with Pearce. Where I didn’t have to worry about being by myself. I wish I could go back in time and undo all the awful things I did, especially sleeping with all those men. I lay there in a tight ball and eventually fell asleep.
* * *
I wokeup to the smell of homemade chicken soup and the crunching of a paper bag. When I opened my eyes, there stood Pearce, grinning at me.
“You don’t look much better today,” he observed. He disappeared for a moment and came back to my bed with a warm cloth and gently wiped my face. I must’ve looked a mess. “Your bruising has really popped out. Have you been using the ice packs?”
“No, I didn’t know I was supposed to.”
He left for a moment and came back with some cold gel packs for me to use.
“Thank you. The soup smells amazing.”
“It’s the best in all of Charleston. Omie’s Deli.”
“I’ve always heard it was great, but I’ve never been.”
“Now’s your chance.”
I carefully squiggled up in the bed and pushed the button to raise the head. My head itched like crazy. When I scratched it, I winced.
“Do you need something for the pain?”
“No, I hurt everywhere though. Aches and bruises.”
“You’re significantly banged up. You’re going to be sore for quite a while.”
I leaned over the soup to get a spoonful and it was the best ever. “Oh yum. This is fantastic!”
“Told you,” he said with a wink. “I think I lived on this stuff during med school.”
“You went here, then?”
“Er, in case you forgot, my last name is Middleton. I didn’t have much of a choice.”
“Oh,” was all I thought of to say. I guessed the Middletons must have something to do with the medical school.
He must have read my mind because he said, “The Middletons are the biggest benefactors to the medical school here.”
“Oh,” I said again. “Did you train here?”
“No, I did my surgery residency at Duke. Then I did my trauma surgery and critical care fellowship at Grady in Atlanta. I did a follow-up year at Cook in Chicago. I wanted to go to a large city to get firsthand experience with gunshot wounds, thoracic and abdominal trauma.”
“Oh,” I said again. I was beginning to sound like a moron. If I didn’t come up with something more than oh, he would think I was brainless. “That’s a little above my head,” I admitted.
He waved his hand. “It’s fine. It’s above most people’s heads. What I wanted to do was to get a lot of hands-on experience working on victims of gunshot wounds to the chest, neck, and abdominal area. They tend to be fairly, um, messy. I figured I would get that in a large city which is why I chose Atlanta and Chicago.”
“That makes sense when you put it that way.”
“There’s also a lot of expressway trauma, car accidents and the like.”
“I see. Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Doesn’t that stuff gross you out?” I scrunched up my face because just the thought of it all disgusted me.
He threw back his head and belted out a hearty laugh.
“No. It’s a good thing too. Can you imagine your doctor coming in and going, ‘Eww! That’s gross!’”
I tried to laugh, but it hurt too bad. “Yeah, that would be bad.”
“You get used to it. At first, it’s kind of weird looking at all the tissue and bones, but then you get past it. Trauma surgery does have a different aspect of that than general surgery.”
“Okay, I get it.” I grimaced. I was getting queasy just listening to him.
“Sorry, I forget that people don’t like to hear that kind of thing. Can I check your belly?”
“What!” What in the world!
He dropped his head and rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t very professional. What I meant was would you mind if I took a look at your wounds to see how they’re progressing? That really came out badly, didn’t it?”
I giggled. Then I tried to laugh. Then he laughed too. I had to grab my stomach because laughing made me hurt.
“I thought you wanted to blow a raspberry on it or something.”
We laughed again.
“Well, if you want me to, I can.”
This conversation had gotten extremely comfortable. I was surprised at that too.
“Um, Pearce, I don’t have on any underwear with that disgusting catheter.”
“Oh, right. Let me get Sharon in here for a minute.”
“Sharon?”
“Your nurse.”
He left and returned minutes later with the nurse, and she had a sheet in her hand. She shooed him out for a second and she tugged my gown up and draped the sheet over my bare lower half. Then she called him in.
He pranced in and pulled on some latex gloves. Sharon brought in some wound supplies and placed them on the bed. He removed the bandages over the two places where I’d been stabbed and the incision where they repaired my spleen. He inspected them closely until I wanted to ask if he found something there.
“Everything is looking good. Nice and neat. Healing well. No signs of infection.” He replaced the bandages with new ones and pulled my gown down for me. Then he covered me back up and Sharon left.
“Did you see me naked?” I blurted out.
“Excuse me?”
“You know, when they were operating on me.”
“Alexia, we don’t have patients lying on the table naked. They are covered in gowns and surgical drapes. The only area exposed is the part where the surgery will take place. So no, I didn’t see you naked.”
“Oh, okay, then.” My cheeks burned hot, but for some reason, I felt better about this whole thing. Strangely enough, countless men had seen me naked, but for some reason, I didn’t want him to unless I was conscious and willing.
Then the conversation shifted, along with the tone of his voice. “Alexia, the police want to speak to you this afternoon.”
I started to tremble. “I figured they would. I don’t know what I can tell them though.”
“Do you want me to be here?”
The darn tears hit again. He moved to put his arms around me but I stiffened up like a board. I was conflicted over everything. I wanted this man. Badly. But I didn’t want him involved in my life, not the way I was now. I pushed him away.
“We’re back to that, then, are we?”
“I ... you ...” I sniffed and snorted.
“Look, the police are sending two detectives here at two. I’ll be here. I can wait outside, and if you need me, you can just call my name. Okay?”
I nodded.
“I have to go. Got patients to see and all.” He headed out the door.
“Pearce!”
He stopped and turned around.
“Thank you. For everything. For holding my hand. For being there. For the chicken soup.”
“I can still be there if you’d just stop pushing me away.”
“I know.” The tears poured down my cheeks and I didn’t even bother to wipe them away.