Chapter 7
The police arrivedat two on the nose as did Pearce, just as he promised. He stood outside my room while they asked me questions I had no answers for. They asked me the same things over and over and I repeated the same responses each time. No, I didn’t see who attacked me. Yes, I was hit from behind and knocked out. When I woke up it was dark. The one attacker had on a ski mask and then I was blindfolded. No, I never once saw my assailants. I woke up again on a bed and then again in a van. And, finally on the side of the road where the couple found me and called 911. Apparently, it was out on Johns Island, which was about ten miles away from the trauma center where they brought me.
No, I didn’t recognize them because I never saw any of them. No, I didn’t have any enemies that I was aware of. No, the voices weren’t familiar to me. No, I hadn’t been threatened recently. I didn’t have any idea who would hurt me.
They told me they had done a rape analysis on me and had gathered fingernail scrapings and other evidence off me while I was in and out of it. I didn’t remember any of that. Then they asked about my love life. A spurned lover perhaps? I told them I hadn’t dated anyone since Peter died. I’d only lived in Charleston for three years. I’d moved here from Lynchburg, Virginia. My head pounded, and my body throbbed everywhere.
When I couldn’t take it anymore, I burst out screaming at them, “I didn’t do anything wrong. You’re treating me like a criminal. I’m the victim here.” Then I sobbed, and Pearce came into the room ordering them to leave.
I was distraught by the ordeal and couldn’t calm down. Pearce ended up ordering an anti-anxiety drug for me. He left to go back to work, and I curled back into a ball on the bed.
Terri popped back in thinking she would find me in the same condition as when she left. Well, that wasn’t the case. She wanted to march over to the police station and kick some butt. She was super pissed.
“I can’t believe they did that to you. The next time those asshats come in here, I’m gonna be here with you.”
“Maybe I should get a lawyer or something,” I said dejectedly. “They’re making me feel like I did something to deserve this when all I did was walk home. I don’t understand any of this. I need to talk with Lisbeth. She probably knows someone who can get them to change their tactics with me.”
“Yeah, you’re right. If anyone can help, it’s Lisbeth.”
* * *
Five dayslater I was released from the hospital. I went home to my little carriage house, locked myself inside, and cowered. The thought of leaving it terrified me. All I wanted was to feel normal again, but I feared that wouldn’t happen. Every light remained on at night and I hardly slept the first week. The tiniest noise startled me, and my nerves were frayed. Finally, Terri came and spent a few nights with me so I could get some rest. My clothes hung on me because eating anything substantial was not possible. Terri and Lisbeth fussed at me constantly and I tried, I honestly did, but the idea that someone had wanted to kill me was always there.
Pearce called every day to check on me, and I went to see his partner for my follow-up appointments. My ankle and wrist healed rather quickly, and after about eight weeks I was able to quit wearing that monster black boot.
The police didn’t find any leads. The rape analysis came back negative as did the fingernail scrapings. The only things they found were tire marks where I was dumped, and thus far, they hadn’t come up with anything else. It was a living nightmare.
I’d lost my job at Camellia’s, though I didn’t blame the owner. He couldn’t afford to hold my job since it would be quite a while before I would be able to go back to work. He promised that as soon as he had an opening again, it would be mine. My checkbook was almost down to nothing. I was flat broke and scared of my own shadow. My hospital bills were crazy. I couldn’t bear to look at them. Every time I did, my gut churned.
Thank God for Lisbeth. I still was able to do things for her and she paid me weekly, as well as covered my rent. She’d asked me to pick a few things up from her decorator and I was dropping them off at her house one afternoon when I accidentally overheard a conversation she was having.
“Well, you need to do something about it. I think they’d make a marvelous couple.”
“Lisbeth, what would you like for me to do? Ground the boy? Pearce is an adult and will do as he wants. Besides, as I understand it, it’s not for lack of trying on his end.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“What it means is that he’s called Alexia time and time again and she still refuses him. I can’t understand it either. Why, he’s the most eligible bachelor in all of South Carolina!”
“Perhaps it’s time for us to play matchmaker.”
“Oh dear, what do you have up your sleeve?”
“I don’t know, but I’ll figure something out.”
Not wanting to be discovered, I quietly hurried away. Then I stomped back in and slammed the door letting them know I was there. I called out to Lisbeth from the hallway, told her I’d left her things but had to leave in a hurry. I dashed out before they could trap me into something I didn’t want to have any part of.
Matchmaking? I needed that like a hole in my noggin. Then what would I do? How would I explain to Lisbeth when Pearce sprouted wings and flew away, why he didn’t want to hang around the slut who was responsible for the death of her last boyfriend, and then went around and slept with every guy who was willing? Oh yeah, I’m the perfect date for the most eligible bachelor in South Carolina.
My attack was still creating issues for me. My social life became nonexistent, except for seeing Terri. Nighttime was the worst. I was the antithesis of a vampire. When dusk hit, I scurried for home. I would start to freak if I was somewhere and didn’t think I’d get there until after dark. If I wasn’t constantly surrounded by light, I would resemble a bobblehead doll, my head bouncing around in paranoia, looking for my would-be attacker. Those giant flashlights became my constant companions, as I always carried one or two in my car, just in case I didn’t get home until after dark.
I started job hunting but was having trouble finding anything. None of the restaurants had any openings and I had applications in everywhere. I worried about getting hired somewhere that would require me to work late at night because I didn’t know what I’d do about getting home after dark. My stomach would gurgle and send me hightailing it for the bathroom just thinking about it.
One day, I finally got a call from a software company, and they wanted me to work full-time in their marketing department. I was torn because that would mean I couldn’t work for Lisbeth anymore. The pay was decent, but I’d also have to give up my free rent.
She needed to know what was going on. The next day I laid everything out. She was excited about the possibilities for me. Lisbeth always wanted me to do more as far as a career was concerned and knew this was the perfect opportunity for me.
“But what about our arrangement?”
“You can do some things for me on the weekend, and I’ll only charge you one-third rent. How about that?”
“Are you sure?”
“What? Do you think I’m so old I don’t know what I’m talking about anymore. Of course, I’m sure.”
“Well, in that case, it’s a deal. And if you need anything during the week, just call my cell phone and I can do it on my way home from work.”
Nodding, she said, “Alexia, I’ve been meaning to ask you. How are you doing these days?”
I wanna run and hide in my house and never come out because when I do, I feel like I’m getting ready to plunge off the edge of a cliff. “Oh, I’m fine,” I answered, conjuring up a plastic smile.
“The truth, dear. I’m an old woman. I see things. I want to know.”
I looked at her and I felt myself unravel. The only person I’d let in was Terri. I didn’t want to dump this on Lisbeth because she was elderly and didn’t need this kind of crap in her life.
I smiled instead and said, “I’m better, really I am.”
“Honey, you are the worst liar I’ve ever known. I know you’re miserable. I can see the pain of it in your eyes, not to mention you resemble a scarecrow. Why won’t you talk to me?”
“I don’t want to burden you with my silly issues.”
“Dear, your issues are anything but silly. You nearly died. I think it would help you if you talked about it. And I hope you know how much I care about you.”
We were sitting in her favorite room, and I sat next to her on the sofa. My hands were clasped on my lap, and I stared at them because I didn’t want her to see the tears in my eyes. Her arm reached over, and she placed her hand on top of mine.
“Honey, I don’t know what happened between you and your parents, but they should be strung up in town square. Does Lynchburg even have a town square? It doesn’t matter. Listen to me. I care about you, and I want you to get some help. You need to talk to someone about what happened to you. If you won’t talk to me, I’d like for you to talk to a professional counselor.”
“Lisbeth, I know you mean well, and I thank you for it. But I can’t afford it.”
“If you’d keep quiet and let me finish, I was going to say that I’d be willing to pay for it. I want you to come back out of your shell. I know there’s a young woman inside of you that’s intelligent, strong, and capable of taking on this world. And I, for one, would love to see her emerge. Will you please at least think about it? And before you give me your answer, I want you to take this job and show that company everything you’ve got. I believe you could run it one day if someone would give you half a chance.”
God, I loved that woman!
* * *
Terri cameover one afternoon and said, “Get dressed.” I’d been lying around watching TV. It was midafternoon on a Friday, and I was a bit surprised to see her.
“Why? What’s up?” I asked.
“I’m taking you to the outpatient clinic.”
“What do I need to go there for?”
“You need to get tested for HIV and other stuff like Hepatitis.”
“You’re joking.”
“No, I’m not. You’ve been screwing around with God only knows who and you have no idea where those guys have been or who they even are. You’re going to get tested, no excuses. And then there’re the drugs, which put you at risk for Hep-C. You need to make sure you’re healthy.”
I groaned. “Can’t we do this another day?”
“Nope. You start your new job on Monday. It’s now or never, and I won’t let you choose never. Let’s go.”
There was no use arguing with her. When she made up her mind about something, that was it. I followed her out to the car and off we went.
The sterile environment of the clinic made me shudder. A nurse ushered me into a room and then the questions started.
How many partners have you had? Did you have anal intercourse? Do you do drugs? What kinds? Any IV drugs? Any cocaine? And on and on ...
If that wasn’t invasive and humiliating enough, the blood tests and physical examinations that followed certainly were. I was swabbed and scraped for specimens to be placed on slides that would be tested for every STD known to man, and probably some that weren’t. I wanted to cry but didn’t. I’d gotten myself into this mess and it was my responsibility to take it like a big girl.
When I was finished, they said they would call within a week with the results. We ended up spending the better part of the afternoon there.
Afterwards, she treated me to dinner, not that I really felt like eating much. I made her take me to Home Team for some wings. I ended up paying the bill because I was the one who’d dragged her butt out of bed all those times and she was right. I was at high risk for a lot of diseases. After my abduction, a change was needed. Why not start fresh knowing if I was truly healthy?
When she dropped me off, she reminded me of my promise. “Swear to me, Lex.”
“I already did,” I said miserably.
“No, I want you to swear to me over Peter.”
My breath caught in my throat. I looked at her and she knew she had me then.
“You know it’s what he would’ve wanted you to do. He would’ve hated himself for not finding a way to stop you from doing this. I’m surprised he hasn’t come back somehow and talked some sense into you.”
“Stop, Terr. Please. I just can’t talk about him.”
“You have to talk about him. He’s the reason behind all of this. Ignoring what happened won’t make it disappear. Admitting it is your first step to recovery.”
“Whatever. I swear to you over Peter. No more drugs or men.”
She was right. Peter would die all over again if he could see me like this. I had to get my shit together or I would end up dead one day.
“Terri, what happened to me changed my life. Not only did it nearly end it, but everything terrifies me now. I’m not sure how you’ve missed it, but I haven’t been out since that night. I’m afraid of the dark. If I’m not home by the time the sun sets, I freak. Leaving a club in the early hours of the morning is something I wouldn’t even consider now. I’m done with it all. I can’t even go to sleep at night unless every light is on in my house. Even then I wake up constantly. I’m a damn mess. You don’t have to worry about that part of my life anymore. And you’re right about Peter. I do need to talk about him. But I’m still not ready for that yet.”
* * *
It waslate October when I started my job. It was the perfect fit for me. My manager and I got along amazingly well, and he kept pushing me to do more. I gladly took on the extra responsibility and seemed to thrive on it.
Lisbeth called me one night and asked if I could take her to a party on the following Saturday. It was the end of November, and she said it was one of those tea party things, the kind that she really hated. She didn’t want to stay long and asked me to drive her and wait in the car.
I sat in Lisbeth’s Cadillac, in front of one of Charleston’s finest homes on the Battery and was reading a book on my Kindle when I heard a tap at my window. I looked up and my heart immediately started doing laps like a race car around a motor speedway. Why in the world did he have to look this yummy?
I rolled down the window. “Hey,” I said. Why did my voice have to sound this breathy?
“Hey yourself. Are you here with Lisbeth?”
“Yeah. You?”
“My grandmother asked me to bring her. Although I can’t figure out why when we only … oh no. I think I smell a rat.” He lifted his head up and sighed.
“What?”
“Grams and Lisbeth. Scheming.”
My face started to burn. Really burn. Then the rest of me followed.
“Look, do you mind if I get in?”
“Er, no.” Dear God help me. I need strength around this man.
He jogged around to the other side of the car and got in. Then he grinned. And I melted.
“I think they’ve been scheming to get us together.”
I dropped my head down and blew out a breath. “I’m sorry I never called you. You were the best, really. I should have thanked you with dinner or something. That was totally rude of me. Please forgive me.”
“You’re forgiven on one condition. Go to dinner with me.”
“I suppose it would be impossible to refuse you now,” I admitted. It would have been beyond rude at this point.
“Okay, when?”
“Next weekend?”
“That works for me. How are you? Everything okay?” His gaze penetrated mine and I shivered.
I half-smiled and said, “I’ve been better.”
“I’m sorry, Alexia.”
* * *
The following weekend,he picked me up, on foot, and we walked to dinner.
“I hope you don’t mind this.” He aimed his fingers toward the ground.
“You mean walking?”
He nodded.
“No. I love to walk.”
I was so nervous that I rubbed my hands together and then over my thighs. I had to clasp them to stop. He noticed my fidgeting and stopped walking.
Turning to me, he said, “Do I make you nervous?”
“No. Yes. No, I make me nervous.”
He grabbed my icy hands in his and said, “You’re cold.”
“No, I’m fine.” I tried to pull my hands from his, but he wouldn’t let me.
“Why do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Try to pretend things? I can tell you like me, or at least you want to. But you’re trying to pretend you don’t.”
“Look, Pearce, I ...”
“Alexia, let’s just go have a nice dinner. And let me hold your hands and warm them, okay? I promise I won’t hurt you.”
But that’s not what I’m afraid of. I’m afraid of hurting you.
I nodded and said, “Okay.”
We went to Rick’s, a restaurant that specialized in seafood, and had a great time. He was very engaging, and I laughed at almost everything he said. I don’t remember any of it, but I was so happy that night. So fucking happy. No ghosts poked into my head to ruin anything. No memories of nights with men I didn’t know. It was just Pearce and Lexi. And it scared the crap out of me.
He walked me home and, on the way, he told me something that almost made me cry.
“I deeply regret letting you go that night, Alexia. If I had stayed with you, insisted on walking you home, you would’ve been safe.”
“Don’t say that. You couldn’t have known. Besides, this is the first time I’ve been out after dark and don’t feel scared to death. Don’t ruin it.”
He kissed me on my cheek and waited until I got inside to leave.
He is a dream come true. Why can’t I trust myself with him?
As I knew he would, Pearce called me the next day and the next and every day after that. Some days I answered, and we’d talk for a long time, and others I would let it go to my voicemail. Then he’d text me.
P: You can run but you can’t hide, lol!
I’d call him back.We’d meet for coffee, but I was still scared. I had to tell him something. He deserved an explanation of why I was behaving like this. I couldn’t disguise my feelings for him. It was damn near impossible.
* * *
Pearce invitedme out for a bite to eat. He was picking me up in thirty minutes. Every time he called, my heart rate kicked up and there was a shortage of oxygen in the room. He had such a devastating effect on me I had great difficulty maintaining my composure around him.
When he knocked, I nearly jumped out of my skin. Forcing myself to take some deep breaths, I leaned against the door before opening it.
“Alexia? Why are you leaning against the door?”
How the heck did he know that? Did he have X-ray vision to add to his list of talents? I opened the door with a sheepish grin on my face.
“Are you okay? You look a bit flushed,” he observed.
“I’m fine, Pearce. Well, that’s not exactly true. I’m a bit nervous if you want to know the truth,” I huffed.
He cocked his head as his eyes tangled with mine. “Because of me?” He really had no idea of his effect on me.
God, this is embarrassing. I looked at my feet and murmured, “Yes. I’m sorry.”
He reached for my hand, and I felt that spark, the jolt I always did. His fingers laced with mine and he said, “Come on, let’s go and get a bite. Maybe it will dispel this angst you have about me.”
“It’s not really angst, you just make me nervous.”
He cocked his head. “Why? Have I done something wrong?”
“Not at all. It’s not you, it’s me.”
“Boy, that sounds like a familiar line.”
I rolled my eyes. “That’s not what I meant.” Our causal banter began to ease my discomfort, and before long we were laughing, and I had forgotten my nervousness.
“See?”
“See what?” I asked.
“I’m not such an ogre after all, am I?”
I huffed. “I never thought you were an ogre. Quite the opposite, in fact.”
“Really. Then what?”
“You’re very charming and I’m worried that ...” I stopped, realizing that I was about to tell him exactly how I felt. I clamped my hand over my mouth, shocked at my stupidity.
He gave me a half grin, took his hand, and put it on mine. “Huh-uh.” He pulled mine away from my mouth. “After a comment like that, you’re not getting off the hook easily. What are you worried about?”
“Nothing. It’s silly really.” I tried to brush it off. “Hey, how was Thanksgiving, by the way?”
“Oh no you don’t,” he laughed.
He stopped, forcing me to stop too. We were now facing each other. I was totally fidgeting now. My leg was twitching, and he felt it. He stared at me. For that reason, I dropped my gaze to my feet.
“Alexia, I’m waiting.” His sexy voice was liquid heat pouring through my veins. Not only was my leg twitching, but my heart had joined it.
“Please, Pearce.” That I even managed to eke out those two words was a miracle in itself.
He didn’t persist. “I’ll let you off the hook this time.” Then he lifted my hand to his lips and touched his mouth to it. I felt his breath fan across my hand and chills spiked all over my body, followed by an intense wave of heat.
How could his touch have such an impact on me?
We walked the rest of the way to the cafe, hand in hand, and then he pulled me closer and put his arm around me. That wave of heat washed over me again. I was sure my whole body was perspiring everywhere.
Afterwards, I knew we had a wonderful time, but I couldn’t tell you a thing about what I ate. I was enchanted by him. He was everything a girl could want in a guy … charming, witty, intelligent, respectful, and very easy on the eyes. And out of my league. Who was I kidding? If I ever let myself get even a tiny bit close to him, once he found out about me, he would drop me so fast my head would spin. And who could blame him? I was like a used rental bike. I’d been ridden by half the population of Charleston. Whatever would he want with someone like me?
He didn’t give up his pursuit of me. He would call and invite me out for a cup of coffee or dinner. He wasn’t over the top, which was nice. I enjoyed being with him and would love nothing more than to date him but was scared of his rejection when the time came.
* * *
When December rolled around,our whole department went to Camellia’s for our Christmas party. There were twenty-two people in our group, so they put us in the big room in the back. It was odd going there as a guest. I scooted into the kitchen to say hi to everyone and got a bunch of hugs. We chatted for a bit, and I headed back to the table.
On my way back, I happened to glance across the room and saw Pearce seated at a table for two. He was talking intimately with a perfectly beautiful blonde. My heart plunged and my stomach knotted. I don’t know why, as I hadn’t exactly been there when he wanted me to be. He probably figured he’d tried enough and had given up. I couldn’t blame him, but it killed me seeing him like that. I watched him smile and he lifted his hand and grabbed his date’s hand and placed a kiss on the back of it.
I don’t know how long I stood and stared, but I found I couldn’t make myself move. My feet felt like cinder blocks. Suddenly he lifted his head and his eyes landed directly on mine. My eyes widened for a moment, my face heated up, but I quickly bent my head down and forced myself to move.
I turned toward the restrooms, intending to hide there for a few moments, but I never made it.
“Alexia, wait.”
I swallowed the thick lump in my throat, doing my best to force it down. I put on my happiest smile and turned.
“Hi, Pearce. It’s great to see you.” My voice shook and I prayed that he didn’t notice.
No such luck. “Are you okay?”
“I’m good, thanks. And you?”
“I’m fine too.”
“I’m here for my work Christmas party.”
“Is that so?”
“Uh-huh. We’re in that big room in the back.”
“Oh great.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Sounds like fun,” he said.
“No, it doesn’t. You’re just being polite.” I laughed.
“You couldn’t be more wrong, Alexia. Everything about you interests me. Except you still won’t let me in.”
My face flushed with heat again and I bent my head. I was suddenly very self-conscious of what I was wearing. I had on outdated sandals. New shoes were currently on hold with the whopping hospital bills looming in front of me. I had to settle for the old ones. My pants, which weren’t exactly the height of fashion either, mostly covered them, so I prayed he didn’t notice. Purchasing clothes hadn’t been a high priority lately, other than a few items I’d scored from consignment shops. Add to that, I still hadn’t gained back all the weight I lost, so I’m sure I looked gaunt as well.
“You look great, Alexia.” He was always so polite.
“Thanks, Pearce. You do too. I guess I should be going. My group is going to wonder what happened to me.”
“Stay safe, please.” He reached out his hand and touched my cheek. “And please call me. Just give me a chance.”
My response was a slight smile as I turned and walked away.
PEARCE
I couldn’t believeit when I saw her across the room. Pretty sure my mouth dropped as my jaw hit the table. I shot out of my seat like my ass was on fire. The urge to talk with her hit, even only a word or two. I wish it were more, but I knew better.
She was beautiful. Who was I kidding? She even looked great the night she came in with stab wounds. A bit of an exaggeration, but that woman would look great in anything.
It was easy to see I made her uncomfortable but for the life of me I didn’t know what I could do differently to change that. She acted like a frightened rabbit around me, which was puzzling. There was nothing I could think of that I had done to make her feel that way.
We talked for a few minutes, and she scampered off, just like a scared little bunny. I had to figure out how to get that bunny to feel she could trust me. This would require patience, which I had, and what she didn’t know about me was I was relentless. I wanted to get to know her, and when I set my mind to do something, I usually succeeded.
I had never felt this pressing need to pursue a woman before. If asked why, I couldn’t have answered, except that something about her drew me in. There was something between us. I knew she felt it but was trying to run from it. My mission was to make sure that didn’t happen. When I returned to my seat, my sister, Ava, was curious who I charged after. Ava’s smile told me she knew there was more to my story. I ended up telling her how I felt about Alexia.
“Don’t give up on her, then, Pearce. My guess is that something in her past has driven her to this point. She’s wounded perhaps. Give her time but don’t give up.”
That reminded me of what Jeremy had called her. “Yeah, my wounded bird. I think her wing must be broken.”
Ava looked at me sort of funny and then said, “Well, you are a trauma surgeon, Pearce. If anyone can fix her broken wing, surely you can.”