Chapter 28
Hugh
I sat on the couch in the living room, sipping my third bourbon. The buzz in my head was comfortable, as was the warming of my skin, but it did nothing to quell the war inside my heart and mind.
The past week had been fucking hell. Everything just suddenly fell apart, and I couldn’t figure out what was going on or why. It took all my power to focus on work and get shit done, so I didn’t piss off Dad. Thank fuck I had Atlas to keep me from falling apart.
I loved Atlas, but I couldn’t do this relationship without Linden because the fact was, I loved him, too, and more than as a brother and cousin.
It was time I admitted that, not just to myself, but to him.
It was the three of us or none of us, even if we weren’t technically together.
I hated to do that to Atlas, but I was confident he felt the same.
He’d want Linden and me together—with him.
For the first time in my life, I was fucking frustrated that I was blood-related to Linden.
If only we’d been friends or something instead.
It wasn’t like I never fantasized about having Linden.
Sure, he wasn’t feminine at all, but that didn’t stop me.
Perhaps Atlas and Linden were wrong about me, that I wasn’t a gynosexual.
Then again, Linden and I had been at this for years.
We had a relationship in a way, a sexual one, but nothing with a connection that branched out into kissing or fucking each other.
I’d been in absolute control of my life to keep my father happy. Now, my life was completely out of control, and I didn’t know what to do.
I set my glass down on the table, rested my head back onto the couch, and closed my eyes. The first image that popped into my head was Atlas and Linden, naked and kissing.
My cock instantly swelled at the vision because they were beautiful together.
Fuck it.
I opened the fly of my jeans, pulled my dick from my underwear, and gave it a few gentle tugs. I let the fantasy play out as I stroked myself.
Linden crawled over to me on hands and knees. His long fingers yanked my legs apart. While looking up at me with those pretty blues, he ran the flat of his tongue from the base to the tip, where he swiped up beads of pre-cum. It was fucking taboo, and it turned me the hell on.
Without taking his eyes off me, he swallowed my cock down as Atlas sat behind him and rimmed his hole. Fuck, that was hot.
I stroked faster and harder. Finesse wasn’t important. I just needed to come.
The fantasy vanished, and a new one formed where I was fucking Linden while he sucked down Atlas, who stood, hovering over Linden. He wore pretty pink panties, delicate against his olive skin. Stunning. He smelled of flowers, too.
In my imagination, it made sense that Linden and I were also together, the three of us having each other in all ways.
The blood pooled around my groin area, heating my cock, and the pressure grew to be too much.
Suddenly, hot spurts shot out of me, all over my hand and some on my jeans and couch.
I let out a long groan, then my head fell back as the cum cooled on my hand and abs, my softening cock, still hanging out.
I tucked myself back in as best as I could with one hand, stood, and washed the cum off me in the kitchen. Then, I rested my hands on the counter and sighed. I felt even worse after that. I needed my cousin. There was no way around it.
I grabbed a water glass sitting on the counter as my frustration festered into rage.
“Fuck!” I yelled and threw the glass as hard as I could against the wall. It shattered glass everywhere, which didn’t help my morose mood. “Dammit, Lind…”
That was it. I was fucking over this. I was going over to his place to talk some goddamn sense into him, then I was going to tell him I loved him.
Decision made, I rushed back into the living room, grabbed my phone from the side table to call Linden, but before I could dial his number, someone knocked on my door.
I grumbled as I set my phone down and went to answer the door. When I opened it, my jaw fell to the ground. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine seeing my cousin on my doorstep, wearing makeup, and it… looked fucking good. Professionally done.
“Linden,” I choked out and gathered him in my arms. “Lind… Beautiful Lind.”
“Hugh,” he replied and hugged me back, gripping my shirt in tight fists.
I peeked over his shoulder to find Atlas, so I tugged him to me, too, and we all held on, standing on my porch.
The fucking relief that swelled through me left me breathless, and my eyes watered.
“You came back,” I said, choking on the words to keep from releasing all my pain in a sob.
He eased me off him, still gripping my shoulders. “We need to talk.”
I reached for his face and gently ran my thumb across his plump, red-painted bottom lip. “Did you do this, Atlas?”
“Yes,” was all he said.
I stepped back to let them inside, then I closed the front door behind us. As we made our way to the living room, I asked. “Do you all want something to drink?”
“I’ll take a bourbon if you have it,” Linden said, shoving his hands into his jeans.
Atlas gave me a soft smile that didn’t reach his eyes.
That didn’t bode well, but I suppose they were there so we could finally talk.
“Nothing for me.” He sat on the floor by the Christmas tree, and when Mrs. Peach walked over to him, he picked her up and put her on his lap.
He was frowning heavily, so I prepared for the worst when I went to grab a drink for Linden.
It took whatever remaining willpower I had left not to freak out.
My gut twisted painfully from the fear that Linden wanted to leave us.
I refreshed my glass and handed Linden his. He chugged his drink back and coughed a few times. “Smooth,” he gasped.
I was afraid to open my mouth and start asking questions. What if they came over to let me down? No one looked fucking happy, that was for sure.
“Well… spill it,” I finally snapped, quickly losing my patience as I braced myself for the worst.
Linden set his empty glass on the coffee table, groaned, and was about to rub his face before he remembered he was wearing makeup. It was subtle except for the lipstick. While I loved elegance and feminine things, Linden didn’t belong in them.
“I love you,” he blurted.
My heart stopped, and my breath caught. What? He didn’t mean he loved me like family, right? No, he meant what I thought he did. Of all things, his telling me he loved me wasn’t on my bingo card of expectations and anticipations.
Usually, Linden was relaxed, casual, and at ease. Now, he was tightly wound and tense, unable to look at me.
I set my glass down next to his, processing his confession.
“For how long?” As much as I wanted to say I loved him back, I needed to know. It was important. How long depended on how I approached it.
He couldn’t look at me, staring down at his hands resting on his lap. “Since… always.”
Always?
“So long.”
My mind reeled, grasping onto every memory I could summon that led me to hints that he’d wanted me as a lover.
God, I was fucking dense. I used to think I was smart, but I wasn’t.
Not one bit. I never noticed. Either he hid it well, or I explained it away.
Sure, there had been times he touched me or talked dirty to me, especially back when we started with that little game of ours, but I hadn’t assumed he’d wanted me.
Perhaps because he was family, so the thought never crossed my mind that he loved me.
It wasn’t until Atlas came into the picture that I started seeing Linden differently.
Sure, I imagined being with him more than we were, but mostly it was a fantasy.
My feelings for him grew the closer we got to Atlas.
And I would never let Linden go. Not ever.
I wanted both men in my life permanently, lipstick or no lipstick.
I didn’t bother to ask why he’d never told me. I knew why. Still, I wish I’d known. I think even as far back in college, if he’d told me his feelings, I might have seen where it took us. Maybe. What-ifs were about hindsight.
I reached for him, wrapped my fingers around his arm, and tugged him toward me. He scooted closer, looking at me with so much pain in his eyes, pain I hadn’t seen since the death of his parents.
Linden folded his leg and turned to face me. I ran my thumb over his bottom lip, rubbing off the lipstick, grateful it wasn’t a lip stain. “This doesn’t belong on you. I love you just the way you are.”
His eyes watered as he looked at me, but he held back his tears by clenching his jaw. Neither of us was big criers.
“Y-you love me?”
“If it means I get to keep you, then yes.” Once his lipstick was all wiped away, I lifted his chin. “Is that why you’ve been ignoring me? Because I’m really upset by that. I thought I was going to lose you.”
Linden moved closer and straddled my lap. He was so much bigger than Atlas, but he belonged there just as much.
“I had a lot to think about. I was torn, Hugh. My feelings just… things got out of control, and I didn’t know what to do about it while keeping you and Atlas happy. No way around it, I was going to hurt you both, but I had to think about myself, too… for my own sanity.”
I reached for his face with my hands, his scruff rough on my palms, and gave him a hard look.
“I need more than what we’re doing, Hugh. If I stay, I have to have more. I want both of you… you and Atlas.”
“You’re mine. Always.” His lip trembled, and some tears escaped out of his control as he glanced away, or tried to, but I wouldn’t let him. “I will give you anything you want.”
Linden leaned forward and pressed his face in the crook between my shoulder and neck as he let out a sob. Fuck, I’d been such an oblivious fool. I’d hurt him needlessly. Had I just seen him, I might have prevented it.
I wrapped my arms around him and held him tightly.
“Don’t tell me these things to keep me. Tell me because you mean it,” he said.
“I mean every word. I love you, too.”
“I was fine with the status quo for a long time, but lately it’s been so hard.”
“That’s why you didn’t want to do the double penetration,” I said when the realization hit me.
He nodded in my throat. “It’s gotten to be too much.”
I eased him back by his shoulders and wiped away his tears with my thumbs.
“Is it weird that I almost hurt even more knowing you love me back? All those years…,” he whispered.
“I think everything happened when they were supposed to happen.”
“You think?”
“I do. This is our time. Our timeline. We weren’t ready before.” I wasn’t entirely sure that was true, but we had no other direction other than to move forward.
“What about Uncle Hanley?”
“I’ll deal with him.”
“You say that with such confidence.”
“Because you’re more important. You and Atlas both are everything. I refuse to let you both go, even if that means I piss off Dad again.”
I wasn’t sure if Linden would do it, so I took the plunge.
I reached for him with my lips. He looked down at me before meeting me halfway.
When our mouths touched, all was suddenly right in my world.
Worries about weirdness or awkwardness were unfounded.
It was just more proof that we belonged together.
The only thing I was pissed about was my obtuseness.
We opened up, and our tongues met for the first time.
We swirled, devoured, and tasted. Linden placed his palms over my ears, holding my head like I was holding his, deepening the kiss.
We were making up for lost time. Lost years.
I would never take him for granted again.
I would do whatever it took to make this work between the three of us.
If he wanted me to fuck him, then I would.
If he wanted to fuck me, I’d give it to him on a damn silver platter.
Linden suddenly pulled back, gasping and pressing our foreheads together. “I’ve waited so fucking long for that kiss.”
“You can have as many as you want for the rest of our lives.”
He reached underneath his shirt, and his hand slipped into the waist of his jeans. He tugged out a black piece of fabric. Lacy fabric.
“Those don’t belong on you, either. They belong to Atlas.”
“I thought…”
“If you were any other man, perhaps. But not you. Not Linden Pierce. He doesn’t wear feminine things. He never has. Don’t change who you are for me.”
“That’s… not quite true.”
I raised a brow in question. “Oh?”
“I’ve worn panties, stockings, and shit in secret. I guess I was hoping you’d notice without me actually showing you, which was pretty fucking dumb.”
“You did all that for me?”
He nodded. “Hugh, I’m not entirely sure I’d even be here were it not for Atlas. He came over, being a mother hen, forcing me to eat Greek food and to talk to him. He helped make me pretty for you and talked me into telling you everything.”
I smiled at that. I could see Atlas doing just that. He really was the glue that brought us all together. He was our bridge to mend things.
I craned my head to look around Linden, suddenly realizing Atlas hadn’t uttered a word, which was completely unlike him. Instead of seeing him by the tree petting Mrs. Peaches, who was curled up in a ball under the tree, but Atlas wasn’t to be seen.
“Atlas? Where is he?”
Linden climbed off me and stood. “Atlas?”
We walked around the house, checking his room, the bathroom, and the basement, calling for him, but he was nowhere to be found.
“What the hell?” I mumbled to myself.
“Hugh?” Linden called out. His tone sounded worried, so I rushed to him. “I think he’s gone.”
“Where could he have gone? Did you not drive here together?”
“No, we drove separate cars. He asked to, and I didn’t question it until now. Fuck, did he… want to leave?”
Why would Atlas just leave like that? “No way. I almost lost you. I’m not about to lose him, too. Fuck that.”
“I don’t understand. He seemed fine when he came to talk to me.”
Atlas’s reasoning suddenly dawned on me. “That little bitch. If he knows how long you’ve had feelings for me, he probably thinks we just belong together.”
“Idiot. Doesn’t he realize we love him, too?”
“Why would he, since we haven’t told him?”
“Then we need to find him,” Linden said, grabbing his keys. “Let’s go.”