Thirty-six #2
I waited for him to continue because surely that wasn't the end of his sentence, but Easton pressed his lips together and shrugged at me. Emerson facepalmed.
"You came to say that?" I asked, my face scrunched up with disbelief. "You could have texted."
"Easton has more to say, he’s just struggling to say it," Emerson interjected. "But I swear, he and I feel really bad that we let you get to the point of…you know. We wanted to tell you before you left."
Emerson and Easton were the most uncooperative and unapologetic people I knew. The only people they cared about was each other, to hell with everyone else. Getting an apology—even a half-assed one—felt unreal to me. It felt so unreal that it did not make me feel better like I thought it would.
Not knowing what else to say, I mumbled a weak ‘thanks’ as I turned on my heels.
My sister scoffed. "Is that all you're going to say?"
I looked over my shoulder. "What do you want me to say?"
"Something more than that."
"Sorry, Emerson, but those few words that you and Easton rehearsed doesn’t exactly make me want to give you a heartfelt speech." I faced them as my eyes narrowed. "Thanks for the apology, I needed to hear that. But as much as I want it to make me feel better about everything, it does not."
Easton took a harsh step forward. "Nothing can be fixed overnight, but now we can see where we may have gone wrong."
" May have ?" I scoffed. “You two have a special twin bond that no one will ever understand but you, and it’s amazing for you. Seriously, I’m glad you guys have each other. I just wish you would have extended that sibling bond to me.”
Emerson frowned. "But we have. Sure, we haven't been the kindest emotionally, but we've always supported you in other ways. We buy you things and we wouldn’t do that if we didn’t care."
"I want your love, not your money.”
The twins’ eyes met each other and they shared a look. I expected them to speak, but I realized they were left dumbfounded.
“I want the sibling relationship others have, but I realized that wasn’t possible for us because of what happened eighteen years ago.
I would fix it if I could raise the dead, but I can’t.
That was when I thought that maybe if you saw that I was capable…
. worthy of being your brother, then maybe you could accept me. "
Easton groaned. "You're speaking in riddles."
My jaw clenched. "I worked my ass off since elementary school to be at the top of the class because of you two . And guess what? I did that. I also skipped a grade. Don't know if you remember since you never acknowledge it unless it's to make fun of me, but I did.”
“But still, your lack of reaction told me that it wasn't enough,” I seethed. “When we got to high school I ran for class president because surely you had to take notice of that. And guess what happened then? You did take notice because I lost every single time."
Easton stood like a statue while Emerson’s eyes met the ground. I did not notice how worked up I was until I felt the sting of my fingernails piercing into my palms.
"Everything I have done has been to show you guys that Mom and Dad dying came with something. Me , it came with me."
"You did all of that because of us?" Emerson asked quietly.
"I wanted you to realize that I wasn't just the reason we’re orphans. Our parents are gone, and Macy is definitely no parent, so that leaves us with just each other. You made sure to leave me out of the ‘each other.’"
They shared a look of what I hoped was regret, but I couldn’t be too sure.
Then, unexpectedly, Emerson came closer to me. I backed up instinctively as she continued forward before wrapping her arms around my neck. It was stiff and unnatural, unlike how it felt when I was wrapped in Javi’s embrace.
Easton rigidly patted my shoulder twice. He was doing his best to be loving, and I commended him for trying.
Easton parted his lips and closed them a few times, clearly struggling to get out the words.
With a few attempts, he eventually did. "I don’t know what I would have done with myself if you didn’t end up okay, Elias.
I'm fucking sorry that it took you almost dying for me it to click in my head that it isn’t all your fault. ”
"We have a lot of growth to do with ourselves," my sister added. "We can’t change how we’ve treated you, but we can try to unlearn some of it now."
"Do you really mean that?" I asked shakily. I was reluctant to believe it despite the reflection in their voice. Well, at least the start of the reflection.
“Mom and Dad wouldn’t be proud of the way we treat you,” Easton said softly.
Maybe it was stupid of me. Maybe I should have let their words go in one ear and out of the other, but I believed them.
Sure, they did not come into the room when I was in the hospital and they waited until the absolute last minute to see me after I got out, but they showed up.
All I wanted was for them to show up and they finally did.
They took their time doing so, but they still did it.
And like they had said, it was not going to change overnight.
Their underlying resentment they had towards me needed to be picked apart by a professional and that would not be easy.
I would never forget how they made me feel, but their words made me hopeful that they would treat me like their sibling instead of some killer they were forced to be around.
I did not want to think about the fact that their words could be just that—words.
However, they had time away from me to do true reflection.
It gave them time to think and eventually reach their own conclusion on how they felt about me.
So maybe it was naive of me, but I felt comforted by their words.
"We can talk about it more when you get back." Emerson ruffled my hair. "Have fun on your trip, Eli."
They made their way to the car before I could say anything. I waved at them as they drove off and then a moment alone before going back inside.
Javier and Anita were sitting on the couch silently when I came back in. Javier was battling between both concern and curiosity as he chewed on his fingernails. His mom was waiting seemingly calm, but she also looked nervous.
Their heads jerked my way when the door creaked open. I was walking toward them, but Javier stood up and met me halfway.
His eyes watched me hard. "What did they say? Are you okay?"
I wanted to tell him yes, but the words were caught in my throat.
I was still processing the unbelievable conversation I had with the twins.
I looked between Javi and his mom as I let out a breathy, incredulous laugh.
After realizing a few seconds had passed and I still hadn't given an answer, I nodded.
"I'm good,” I said sharply. He didn't look convinced until my lips pulled into a small, real smile. "Seriously, I’m shocked, but kinda happy. I think."
Alan entered the living room. He slapped his hands together like he was shaking dust off them as he told us all of the luggage was packed. It was time to leave for the airport. Anita left to say her goodbyes to her husband and the other kids in the house, leaving Javi and I alone for a moment.
"Hey." He tapped my shoulder. "What did they say out there?"
"They apologized," I said, the disbelief clear in my voice.
“Really?"
"Yeah, crazy right?" I muttered. "It's only the beginning, obviously. They could say this now and then flip a switch next week, but I really want to believe they meant what they said. I’m just not sure if I should. Do you think I should believe them?"
He draped his arms over my shoulders and pulled me close until my back pressed against his torso. "Well, it depends. Do you, or don't you?"
"I think I do."
"Then keep believing, baby."
I wrapped my arms around his that were securely draped over me. "And if they let me down?"
"Then I'll be here to pick you up." Javi kissed my temple. "Because I love you."
"Not as much as I love you," I gushed.
"Te amo más de lo que las palabras pueden decir," he spoke easily, as if I understood a word.
I snorted. "Translation please."
"Don’t you have an ‘A’ in Spanish?”
"Yeah, but I memorize for the test and it all kinda leaves my brain after that."
He removed himself from me. "Use google translate."
"That's not fair!" I whined as I turned around to face him. "You don’t speak Spanish around me often, and then when you finally do you won't tell me what you said."
Javi’s head cocked to the side. "You want me to speak Spanish more often?"
"Duh."
"Why?" Javi asked. "You just said that you can't understand me."
"Yeah but..." I trailed off. My gaze fell to the ground as I bit my lip.
"But what?" he probed.
Maybe it was the exhaustion taking over that got rid of my usual filter. I don’t believe that I would have spoken my mind if I had slept properly.
"It's hot," I said with a simple shrug.
Javi’s brow raised and then the subtle shock morphed into an amused smirk. "Okay, noted."
"Noted?"
"Noted."