3. Chapter 1
Chapter 1
Present day; 3 weeks to Halloween
Matt
I peel off the rubber glove and give Blessie a reassuring pat on the rump.
“Congrats, she’s in calf,” I say, grinning at Chris.
“About time,” he sighs with relief. Chris is one of the local farmers. He mostly keeps sheep but he’s got a few cows, chickens, and now two ponies for his kids. Around here cows are bred for meat and if one doesn’t get pregnant it’s a big financial hit. With things already tight for farmers a failed breeding programme can really pile on the pressure.
“Fancy a cuppa?” Chris asks as we head back to the cottage. I missed this whilst working in Birmingham. Fellside’s a small village and even though I look after animals on farms all around the area I still know most of my clients personally. It’s all a lot more close-knit out here.
I grew up not far from London but moved to Fellside to study veterinary medicine. I couldn’t resist the call of the mountains. I’d started climbing and hiking with my grandpa as a teen and wanted more of that life. So, I didn’t care that the University of Cumbria campus in Fellside wasn’t one of the posh ones—it was worth it to spend my spare time scrambling through the hills.
It was here that I fell in love with Natalie, the love of my life. But it was also here, after six blissful years of marriage, that she pulled the rug out from underneath me and asked for a divorce. I never saw it coming. I thought we were happy. Sure, I was working long hours but I thought I was doing it for us. I missed the fact that no amount of money could make up for not being there when she needed me.
There were weeks when we barely spoke because I’d leave before sunrise and come back late at night. I was working at a veterinary clinic in Manchester and the long hours plus the commute just weren’t sustainable for our relationship, but I didn’t see it. When Nat brought it up I suggested she'd move to Manchester but she wanted me to take a lower-paid job at a local vet clinic—the one I now own, actually. Back then though, I thought it would be crazy to give up the well-paid job in Manchester.
The irony is that a year after our divorce I did give the job up and moved to Birmingham, where I've been for the last eleven years. Living in Fellside was too painful. I was still in love with her and seeing her around was unbearable. Nothing was keeping me here and I wanted to get as much distance between us as I could.
At the end of last year, Dr Hammond called to say he was retiring and offered me the clinic. I did some practical training with him whilst studying and he remained my mentor all these years. He often hinted that I should come back to Fellside, but I always turned him down. This time though, I was financially ready to buy my own business and tired of city life. I missed Fellside and the chance to return was too tempting to resist.
It’s been a decade since the divorce. I’ve had a couple of relationships since then—neither of them worked out, but that's not really the point. Surely, Nat moved on too by now. We're both different people, right? We can be adults about it and live in the same village without it being awkward.
As I drove into Fellside to check out the clinic and meet with Dr Hammond, it felt like taking a deep breath for the first time in years. I knew then and there I had to come back and I’ve never regretted it.
I'd usually never turn down a cuppa, but today I politely pass Chris’s offer as I’m already running late for my next appointment. Instead I hop into my Range Rover and head straight back to the clinic. It’s just me, Teresa, and Joan running the place, serving Fellside and the surrounding area; halfway to Windermere in one direction and Keswick in the other. Teresa’s a young vet who qualified two years ago and was hired by Dr Hammond. When I took over I saw no reason not to keep her on. Joan’s our clinic nurse and receptionist. During lambing season we might bring in a temp receptionist since I’m out of the clinic most of the day and Joan has to help out more with the patients.
I drive through the winding country lanes and familiar landscape rolls by, the fells bathed in the soft glow of the afternoon sun. It’s so much better than the grey streets of Birmingham and despite being in a rush I feel a deep sense of relaxation. I am planning to head up Scafell Pike this weekend and I can’t wait.
As I pull up to the clinic, I see that the waiting room is already full. Fellside may be a small village but life here is still busy; the kind of busy that feels right, never overwhelming, just perfect.
It’s dark by the time I get home to my house on the outskirts of Fellside. It’s easily reachable by foot from the village, but still feels secluded, as the lane leading up to it is enclosed by trees. I’m right at the end of the road, near a barrier that stops cars from going any further. Beyond the barrier is the beginning of a popular hiking trail up to Crowghyll. It’s not a challenging fell but it offers stunning views and it’s where I find some peace. I run up there almost every morning before the tourists descend on the place.
Toeing off my shoes in the dark, I hang up my jacket and feel for the light switch. I’m met by a steady purring noise and gentle brushes against my leg.
“How are you two gangsters?” Egon and Venkman, my grey and brown striped tabby cats, are ready for their dinner. I adopted them when the Birmingham fire brigade brought them to me as kittens. They were close to dying but I managed to pep them up and fell in love with them. They moved in with me and they keep each other company when I’m not around.
Egon starts nibbling on my Achilles tendon, telling me it’s time to get a move on and feed them.
“I know, I know,” I try to shoo him away as I make my way to the kitchen. But that’s when Venkman weaves between my legs. In my attempt to avoid stepping on him I veer to the left and bump into the tall shoe cabinet in the hallway. A picture frame I keep on it falls over with a loud crash.
“Cut it out boys. You can’t be that hungry,” I admonish them before righting the frame which is a picture of Nat and I on our wedding day. Whenever I look at it I remember how I felt then. The saying that your wedding day is the happiest day of your life was certainly true for me. I thought it would be where we’d lay the base for our relationship that would last forever. Oh, how wrong I was.
Nat is the best person I’ve ever met. My quiet little introverted bookworm, who seemed shy on the outside but was full of life and curiosity on the inside. If you’re lucky enough to be invited into her world you’re in for the time of your life. I’ve never laughed as much, felt so at home, or loved anyone the way I did her. And then I had to go and ruin it. All she wanted from me was some time, some closeness but I just gave her ambition and promises of money she never wanted. We had a decent life and we didn’t need more to be happy but I couldn’t see it until it was too late.
Sometimes I blame my dad because he taught me that it’s the man’s responsibility to take financially care of a woman. And my mother certainly expected it. Only, if I had talked to Nat, rather than making assumptions, I would have found out that she was nothing like my mother and didn’t need me to offer her a lavish lifestyle. No, the divorce is on me. This is why I didn’t fight it.
There’s a knock at the door as I squeeze the last of the cat food from the pouch.
“Hang on, I’m coming,” I shout as I add a little water to the bowls before placing them on the floor. Egon and Venkman immediately start lapping up the chicken in gravy mush, ignoring me as I give them one last pat before heading to answer the door.
“Hey mate,” I greet Ryan, my next-door neighbour.
“Hey, sorry for popping by so late but Jane sent me because she’s sure something’s wrong with Rossi,” he holds up a ginger kitten. Ryan is a member of the Fellside Mountain Rescue team and they recently rescued some kittens from a precarious situation. There were four feline survivors and Ryan and Jane, his fiancée, adopted two, with the other two being taken in by another member of the FMR team.
“Hey, Rossi, let’s see what’s wrong with you little man,” I coo as I take the cat from Ryan. “Come in.” I let him walk past before closing the door.
“What are you worried about?”
“His tummy is really bloated. Jane googled it and she thinks it could be worms,” Ryan says as he drops onto my sofa. Egon and Venkman throw us a quick look as they walk past the living room door whilst licking the rest of their food from around their mouths before heading upstairs to my bedroom. It’s their favourite place to rest after the exhausting work of eating.
“Did he vomit or have diarrhoea?” I ask.
“No.”
“Is he lethargic?”
“No, he’s the same playful cat as always.”
“Hmm.” I pull back the cat’s bottom lip and his gums look normal. I hold Rossi up and look around his anus but there are no signs of any worms.
“He looks okay to me.” I place him on the floor and he immediately starts to attack my toes. This cat is as happy as Larry. “Why don’t you bring a stool sample to the clinic tomorrow and we have a look, but I’m sorry to say there’s a chance he is just chubby. How is Buttercup?” Ryan named their male kitten after his favourite motor racing driver. Jane decided to go for a rather more unconventional name when she named their girl kitten.
“She’s a tiny thing but he watches over her like a hawk,” Ryan grins. If you met Ryan in the streets you might take him for a rough biker with his stern looks, beard and tattoos. The last thing you’d expect him to be is a doting cat dad.
“Maybe try feeding them separately or at least watch them. I have a suspicion that Rossi may be eating more than his share,” I chuckle. Wouldn’t be the first cat that doesn’t know when enough is enough.
“Great, you want me to tell Jane that we have to put Rossi on a diet? She’s going to accuse me of fat shaming.”
That makes me laugh. These two are masters of bickering with each other, although never in a malicious way. I’ve felt jealous of their relationship more than once, I’m ashamed to say.
“Well, maybe wait until we have the result from the test before you call him out,” I suggest with a laugh. “Want a beer?” I ask. Ry has become a good friend since I have moved back to Fellside.
“Sorry not today. Jane’s waiting with dinner, do you want to join us?”
“That’s alright, thanks Ry. I have a pizza waiting in the fridge for me. It’s been a long week and it is only Wednesday so I’m going to eat and then work off some steam on the bike.”
“Just know you’re always welcome,” he replies as he picks up Rossi.
“Thanks. I know.” When I walk him to the door my eyes fall on the picture of me and Nat again. I definitely need to push myself today, it’s the only way to drive thoughts of her from my mind.