4. Chapter 2
Chapter 2
Natalie
I rub my hands together and blow into my fists, trying to chase away the cold. Halloween's just three weeks away, and this chilly weather's a real reminder that autumn's definitely here. I really need to remember to bring my gloves to work from now on.
I hear Leo calling out to me as I push the wheelbarrow towards the garden shed, hidden from the guests' view behind some hedges. It’s just the two of us on the grounds team at Greenview Manor Hotel. I’m the head gardener and Leo’s been my trainee since the summer.
I’ve been working at Greenview Manor for over seven years. Tommy, the owner, promoted me when the last head gardener left. Not many hotels have their own gardener, let alone a team, but Greenview Manor has extensive grounds and a small wood where guests can go for walks. We even have a vegetable patch at the edge of the property where we grow fresh produce for Chef. There’s always something to keep us busy year-round and I know how lucky I am to have this job.
“Nat, Marisa asked me to remind you about the heads of department meeting at three,” Leo grins at me, crumbs from his lunch still clinging to the corner of his mouth.
“Saving those for later?” I wink, pointing at the crumbs. He laughs and wipes his face a bit too roughly. Leo’s a good lad and is always cheerful and willing to learn even when it’s pouring with rain.
I glance at my watch and see it’s nearly two. I need to finish up the order I’ve been working on and get it signed off before the meeting.
“Tell you what, can you take this to the shed and then check the paths in the woods? I’ll head to the office then to the meeting. We can meet back at the shed afterward and go over the vegetable plot with Chef to plan next season’s crops.”
“Aye Boss,” he says with a mock salute.
“Don’t call me boss,” I scold him though I’m not really mad. He knows I hate it which is why he likes to tease me. But with that cheeky grin of his it’s hard to stay annoyed.
“Okay,” he replies, walking off whistling. I know he’ll do it again.
The warmth of the hotel hits me as I step through the staff entrance. I walk down the long corridor past the kitchen and head up the back stairs which were used by servants back when this was a family home in the Edwardian era. Not much has changed in that sense, though we’re definitely treated much better than the staff back then.
Tommy’s a great boss and most of us love working here which is shown in our low turnover. I can’t really imagine working anywhere else. I was a bit worried when Tommy cut back his hours after getting married and having a baby. We all feared he might sell the hotel, but with Sheila supporting him as General Manager, they’ve found a way to make it work. For now, at least, there’s no sign of them selling up.
As I reach the office I feel a sense of contentment. Despite the cold, despite the work, I’m exactly where I want to be.
I share a small office with Linda who is Head Housekeeper, on the first floor but I don’t use it much. I mainly go in to work on orders and in winter it’s a welcoming place to get out of the wind.
“Hey,” Linda says as I walk in.
“Hi. It’s freezing out there.”
“I know! My kids are already praying for snow, convinced it means they’ll get off school,” she laughs.
“Bit early for that isn’t it? And when do we ever get that much snow?”
“Wishful thinking,” she says with a shrug, turning back to her screen.
I take off my jacket and hang it up while I wait for the kettle to boil. One perk of sharing an office with the housekeeping team is having a kettle close by, so we don’t have to trek all the way to the kitchen every time we want a cuppa.
I glance out the window at the dark clouds gathering over the lake. We might have to move our meeting with Chef indoors if it starts chucking it down. Leo and I don’t mind getting soaked but Chef’s not going to join us in the rain.
As I wait for the computer to boot up I fiddle absentmindedly with my silver necklace, pulling the bookworm pendant up to my bottom lip. It’s become a bit of a nervous habit. The chain stretches until it presses into my skin—not painful, but just enough to remind me it’s there. I’ve been doing it ever since I got it.
“Hope the meeting isn’t too long today,” Linda says, breaking the silence. “I’ve got to check all the Christmas decorations before the day’s out.”
I let the pendant drop back against my chest. “Already? It’s still a few weeks until Halloween.”
“I know but if I need to order anything I’ve only got until mid-November, then we have to start putting everything up. The first Christmas parties kick off on the eighteenth.”
“Where’s the year gone?” I sigh. It’s not just this year—every year seems to fly by faster than the last. Halloween always makes me think about that and it’s a reminder of the night Matt and I slept together for the first time. That memory has faded but when I hear a certain sound or see a glimpse of something that reminds of that night I remember the evening for a brief second and I think of him. I’ve banned him from my thoughts otherwise but at Halloween I can’t always battle those shadows from the past.
It's half past six by the time I take a seat on the bus back to Fellside. All I want is a long hot bath and some comfort food but I think Alastair said something about meeting his friends at the pub. I don’t really want to but when he has something in his head there isn’t really any arguing with him.
I met Al almost two years ago when the bank he works for had a Christmas lunch at the Greenview Manor Hotel. He almost ran me over leaving after the lunch. He shouldn’t have been driving as he’d had more than one drink and Tommy had to get involved and take his keys off him.
He came back a few days later with a bunch of flowers as an apology and invited me to dinner. I’ve had a few casual dates since my divorce but it never felt right and so I kind of gave up, but Alistair was persistent and I eventually gave into his efforts. It was only one dinner after all, or so I thought.
It quickly became more and I moved in with him last autumn. It made sense as he wanted me around all the time anyway.
The traffic on the way to Fellside is bad at this time of the day and it’s after seven by the time I get in.
“You’re late,” Al greets me. He is wearing jeans and a tight T-shirt that shows off his muscles. He looks good, but he always does. He’ll even style his hair to lounge around at home and play computer games.
“Hello to you too,” I sass and he raises an eyebrow at me. “Sorry.” Apologies come easy to me these days.
“Babe, you know I hate when we’re late and we promised to meet Caleb at seven thirty.”
“Would you mind if I don’t come with you?” I ask carefully. There’s a second of silence.
“Nat, yes I would and you know that. We get to spend so little time together and I just want you with me, babe. I would’ve thought you’d want that too.” He cages me in against the wall, his eyes locked on me.
The straightforward answer should be “Yes of course I do,” but the words won’t come.
“Babe?”
“Let me just quickly get changed,” I say and place a kiss on his lips. He pushes off the wall and lets me slip past him with a smug look on his face because he got what he wanted. Again.
My head is throbbing from the loud music and constant chatter. We left the Fellside Tavern, which is less pub and more like a bar with disco lights, a dance floor and overly loud music. I was really hoping we’d head home soon but instead Al wants to meet up with some friends at another pub.
Al has linked our fingers and is dragging me along with him whilst talking to Caleb about cricket. Cricket is Al’s passion. He almost played for Coniston CC but was passed over for another of his school friends.
“In we go, pretty lady,” Caleb laughs as he holds the door open for me to step into the Crazy Dog. It’s a pub a bit off the beaten path, which is why tourists don’t come here. That makes it a sanctuary for locals who want a more relaxed evening.
Alistair never lets go of my hand as we walk to the back of the pub where more of his friends are crowded around the two pool tables. A few of them have their girlfriends with them but most are single and frankly they’re such pricks that I’m not surprised.
“Can you get me a beer?” Al asks and pushes a twenty into my hand before grabbing one of the cues.
I guess that’s me dismissed. I head to the bar, praying that he’ll lose the first game and we can go home. All I want is to curl up in bed with a book.
“Can I have a pint of bitter and a large lime and soda water please?” I order from the young bartender who gives me a friendly smile.
My eyes scan the pub whilst he gets the drinks, and I freeze when they land on the one person I want to avoid at all costs but have been dying to see at the same time. Lighting shoots through me when my eyes land on Matt who is sitting with a group of guys, one of them is wearing a jacket with the FMR logo on it.
Matt turns to the side and looks straight at me as if he felt my eyes on him. He looks surprised before giving me a tentative smile. I take a deep breath but the oxygen somehow doesn’t seem to make it into my lungs. I try again and this time it works.
I lift my hand and wave. Matt waves back, and it makes the guy he was talking to turn around. I vaguely recognize him; I think he’s the owner of the tattoo studio.
Matt exchanges a few words with him before getting off his stool and walking towards me. I feel panic rising. Not because of Matt, because of Al who won’t like it. But then Matt stands in front of me and thoughts of Al are gone.
“Hi Nat,” he says softly before pulling me into an embrace and placing a tender kiss on my cheek. A familiar scent hits my senses, bringing back memories.
“Hi,” I reply in a whisper. My heart is racing and I can’t take my eyes off him.
“I heard you moved back to Fellside,” I say. Fellside is small and news spreads like wildfire. The amount of people who texted me to tell me that my ex-husband was back in the village was unreal. People I hadn’t spoken to in years thought it was important information to share with me.
“City life wasn’t for me after all. Dr Hammond offered me his clinic and I couldn’t really say no,” he explains. I should have spoken up more years ago, told him what I wanted which was him in Fellside, spending time with me. But instead he was focused on building a better life for us, and I just went along with it. After the divorce I kept wondering: could we have saved our marriage if I’d sat him down and explained exactly what I needed? Instead I moped around, dropping vague hints and avoiding real conversation when he tried to fix things between us. He blames himself for the divorce but I’m just as much at fault as he is.
“Where do you work now?” he asks before pushing his hands into his pockets. He has the quirky little smile on his face he always gets when he’s nervous.
“I work at Greenview Manor. Head Gardener,” I shrug like it’s nothing.
“Oh wow that’s amazing, you always wanted to work for them,” he gently touches me on my arm and a warmth spreads from his hand through my body.
“And who do we have here?” Al’s boisterous voice causes me to flinch just as his heavy arm lands around my shoulders.
“Al, this is my ex-husband Matt. Matt, this is Al.”
“Alastair Brooke,” Al corrects me and holds out his hand to Matt. Matt eyes him before shaking the hand. Al squeezes hard—it’s a power move he likes to do—but Matt doesn’t flinch.
“Matthew Parker,” he replies with a smirk and I have to bite my lip to avoid laughing out loud.
“Are you done here babe?” Al asks me before grabbing his pint.
“I’m waiting for my change,” I reply just as Caleb calls Al for his turn. Alastair gives Matt one last glance before heading back to his friends.
“Here’s your change,” the bartender holds out a few coins and a tenner.
“Thanks.” I push it into my pocket, making a mental note to not forget to give it to Al.
“It was nice to see you, bookworm,” Matt says. He reaches out and gently lifts the bookworm pendant dangling from my necklace. Shit. Of course he noticed. He was always someone who paid attention to everything.
I should really have given the necklace back to him when we got divorced. I gave him the wedding and engagement rings back even though he didn’t want me to. But this necklace. I just couldn’t. I wanted one thing to remind me of our time together. Just one piece of happiness.