5. Chapter 3
Chapter 3
Matt
N atalie doesn’t reply, just gives me a small smile and returns to the arsehole. What is she doing with a wanker like that? And this is not just a jealous ex-husband talking. I can smell a possessive bastard from a mile away and this guy might as well have peed a circle around her to mark his territory.
I watch as she perches awkwardly on a stool, hands clasped around her glass. She looks tired and I know her well enough to know she hates being here. If that idiot knows it too he doesn’t seem to care. He sinks a few balls before messing up an easy shot. His mates give him a hard time and although he takes it with a smirk there’s something in his eyes that says he’s not too happy about it.
Nat seems to sense it too. He stands next to her and when he drops his hand on her thigh she flinches. It’s quick, but I catch it.
“Matt, we’re leaving,” Ryan pulls me from my thoughts.
“Coming,” I reply. My eyes are still locked on Nat but there’s no point of hanging around here. I lost every right to get involved in her life when I didn’t give her the small thing she wanted from me.
“So that was your ex?” Ry asks as we climb the long lane leading to our houses. Unlike his FMR mates Ryan wasn’t born and raised in Fellside and he’s still considered a newcomer even though he’s been here for a few years. He isn’t really up to date with the village gossip, and there was a lot of gossip about me and Nat.
“Yup.”
“You don’t want to talk about it.” It’s a statement, not a question.
“Not much to say. I cocked it up.”
“Other woman?”
“No,” I snort. “I’m not a cheater, never have been. I thought what I had to offer her was a better life but I didn’t realise we could have had a good life if I’d just made more time for her.”
Ryan doesn’t say anything and we walk in silence until we reach the end of the lane.
“Well, good night then,” he says before heading up the short path to his cottage.
“Night.” I reply and push the gate to my garden open.
“And Matt, that guy, her… boyfriend, he seems like a wanker.”
I laugh, “Same thought I had. But good to know that someone neutral thinks so too.” Ry gives me a grin before heading inside.
Egon and Venkman are waiting for me and I spend half an hour giving them all the belly rubs and cuddles they demand, considering that I had abandoned them when really they were expecting our usual evening program of me powering myself out on my indoor bike and then for them to fall asleep on me whilst I watch some mind-numbing TV.
When the cats have forgiven me I head to the shower. Maybe some hot water will wash away the dark cloud that the interaction with Nat left behind.
I step under the spray and let the hot water cascade down my body, steam swirling around me until I can barely see my own hands in front of me.
She looked good. But she also looked different. The light was gone from her eyes. But it could just have been a tough week at work.
I squeeze some shampoo into my hand and spread it through my hair. I rub hard, harder than I need, until my hands clutch at my hair and I let out a loud growl.
I really thought it would be easy if we ever ran into each other. I was convinced I’d moved on. But tonight proved I haven’t, not even close. It seemed like she has, aside from the reaction when she saw me and she’s still wearing the necklace I gave her. Why is she still wearing it?
“Stop it. STOP IT!” My voice echoes from the bathroom wall. I need to let it go. I have no right.
I lean back and close my eyes. The image of her is as clear as if she were standing right in front of me. Her dark hair curling around her shoulders. Her hazel eyes. And her lips, the top one thinner but the bottom lip plump and soft. Her body, with curves in just the right places.
Dropping one hand, I reach between my legs and squeeze my dick.
I close my eyes and imagine Natalie stepping into the shower with me. The dark triangle between her legs glistens under the spray and her nipples harden.
She takes a step closer to me and presses her lips against mine before trailing them down over my chin and along the column of my neck.
Heat courses through me as she bites down lightly on that sweet spot just below my earlobe before continuing her descent onto her knees in front of me. My cock twitches at what I know comes next.
She runs a finger up from the base of my shaft to my tip, smearing precum over it as she goes. Looking up at me through lowered lashes, she captures the whole head in her mouth.
A groan escapes from deep within me as I throw back my head against the tiles, letting waves of pleasure crash over me.
Her tongue swirls around the sensitive spot just beneath the ridge while she looks up at me with those incredible hazel eyes like she has all day to make love to me.
The image fades for a moment as I lose myself in the sensations her mouth is making. My hand tightens around my length, stroking slowly from base to tip.
My left hand snakes down, cupping my balls and squeezing gently. Nerve endings awaken at the touch and shivers race up and down my spine.
The image of Natalie is back in full focus now. She takes me deep into her mouth.
Fuck! I want this to be real—I want her to be here with me so badly.
I thread my fingers through her hair, pulling it gently as I encourage her to take all of me.
She looks up at me again—those eyes are so goddamn sexy—as she sucks with increasing pressure on the way out before swirling her tongue around the head again on the way back in.
“Does that feel good, Matt?” she moans around my cock.
“Yes…fuck yes,” I groan as fireballs explode behind my eyelids. My hips buck against nothingness and then the image fades away again and I’m left alone under the spray.
The steam suffocates like a wet blanket pressed up against every inch of my exposed skin and suddenly this just feels pathetic—I feel pathetic.
“Fuck!”
Why can’t I just forget her? Why can’t I move on?
I let out a shuddering breath and lower my hands from my face. The shower is still running, the hot water pounding on my skin, but I barely feel it. I’m numb inside.
I close my eyes and lean my forehead against the cool tiles. I’m so fucking tired of this. Tired of the memories that haunt me like ghosts. Tired of the pain that still lingers, even after all this time. Tired of being alone.
The water is cooling now but I can’t bring myself to move. I’m stuck in this moment, frozen in time.