10. Abby
Abby
“Bianca? Really? She’s a two-faced piece of work!” Malloy yells at the television, pointing his spoon as if the contestants of The Bachelor can hear anything he’s saying.
I’m laughing as I devour my own pint of rocky road ice cream and cuddle into the couch a little more.
Today is the first snowfall in Boston, and I turn my head and take in the white flakes as they fall outside my window.
I’ve loved this time of year since I moved out here for college years ago. Some things don’t change.
“You’re really passionate about his choice,” I tell Malloy.
“Oh, come on, she was the wrong choice. You and I both know that Cora was the right choice for him. She looked at him like he hung the moon. I’m so fucking pissed right now.
” He throws his spoon in his tub of ice cream and smacks his hand down his face.
He’s really maddened over this. I rub his back to console him but still can’t help the laugh that escapes.
I never thought I’d be spending my evening watching The Bachelor with Tucker Malloy.
I look over as he yells at the screen as if the season finale of the show is a World Series game.
It’s comical, but the moment I laugh, he glances at me and glares.
All it does is make me laugh harder, and he throws a pillow at me.
“This isn’t funny, Abby. He’s making a huge mistake,” he says right when his phone chimes. He looks down and grunts.
“Is it her?” I already know it’s Baylee.
“Yes. She is just asking how I am.” But then he throws his phone down.
“You can’t just ignore her. It probably makes her confused and hurts her feelings, Malloy.”
“I know, but I’m in an impossible position. I might be pissed at Rios, but it doesn’t mean I want to complicate things further. I need to figure things out with him first,” he tells me as he removes his ball cap and runs his fingers through his hair, a telltale sign he’s irritated.
I move to put my ice cream on my coffee table and stand up. My muscles ache from sitting for too long. I stretch and start to clean up our mess. There’s pizza and snacks thrown about everywhere.
“Listen, ignoring her is only making her question everything more. Give her some sort of answer so she doesn’t wonder what she did wrong. She’s young and figuring things out too, so remember that,” I say as I move through to the kitchen and throw things away.
“I’m going to run to the restroom,” I tell him as he’s grabbing the trash bags from the kitchen trash bins.
“Let me take these out for you,” he says, not giving me room to protest.
I make my way through my apartment and into my master bath.
The moment I get into the restroom, I realize why I was feeling like absolute crap earlier today.
Since I learned about my fertility struggles, I have had random periods, with my cycles never matching up.
My ovulation is incredibly sporadic at best, so I have no clue when I’ll get a period.
I’ve tried to track it, but I’m not really regular anymore.
The discomfort I was feeling earlier today felt like period pain, but it also felt a little different, so I ignored it. I guess it was exactly that. This must be a lighter cycle, so I grab what I need and take a few pain relievers in hopes my cramps won’t keep me up throughout the night.
Hopefully, once Malloy heads out, I can still get some work done. I have a few projects to finish up, and I always do my best work at night, so I will likely be up a few more hours to get some extra projects lined up.
When I get back out to the living room, Malloy has the couch back to normal, all the pillows and blankets folded, and the ice cream cleaned up. He’s honestly been a breath of fresh air since we’ve sparked this friendship.
“You doing okay?” he asks.
“Oh yeah, just going to get some work done.” I doubt our friendship has hit that point of telling him about my cycles.
“Do you ever sleep?” He chuckles.
“I’m a night owl. The ability to make my own schedule has its perks.
I don’t have to get up early, so I just sleep in if I work too late.
Plus, now that it’s snowing, I might just stare out and watch the snowfall.
” I look back out to see some of the snowflakes, even though the darkness keeps me from seeing them as easily.
“You really love the snow, don’t you?” he says, looking out to the same view as me.
“Yeah, that California sun just doesn’t scratch the itch quite like a New England snowfall, you know?” I think I was honestly born on the wrong coast.
“Well, enjoy the view. I think it’s going to last a few days from what they said. You have enough groceries?”
Malloy is constantly asking me if I need anything when he’s headed into the area. It’s been nice having him as a friend.
“I’m good. All stocked up. Thanks though,” I tell him.
It’s weird having this close of a relationship with someone and having zero feelings for them romantically. We’ve made comments about it—how much easier it would be if we cared for each other in that way, but that there’s just no spark.
“Well, I’m crashing at Rios’s house.” That comment causes my eyebrows to rise.
“What? When did things improve there? I thought you were giving him the cold shoulder?” I ask.
“I technically am, but I needed a place to stay with the snow and all. I told him he owes me, even though he doesn’t quite see it that way.
We’ve spoken a few times about his poor attitude, but I think it will just take time for him to see that there’s nothing going on with his sister and me.
I think he’s under the impression something did happen, and I’m lying to him. ”
“But what if something does happen? What then?” I ask because that could really blow up in Malloy’s face.
“Honestly, I just can’t see this ending well if I went there.
Right now, I’m just trying to fix things.
That’s my focus. I’m not responding to her so that I can get things back to how they were.
I just need my best friend back. It’s what I’ve always known, Abby.
” The way he looks at me breaks my heart. I can see the agony in his gaze.
I nod my head, knowing he’s truly conflicted. I’m here to support him, not judge him. If he needs my support, that’s what I’ll do for him.
“I get it. I’m here for you, no matter what.” I bring my arms out, and he crouches down to pull me into a hug. I feel like I’m being suffocated as he squeezes me.
We walk toward the front door, and he asks, “So what should we watch next? I don’t know what I’ll do if we don’t have this disaster every week to complain about. Plus, now I’m out fifty bucks. I had all my money on Cora,” he whines.
“Are you a Nichols now?” I laugh, even though a part of me is gutted comparing him to my ex-husband.
“Well, I won’t pretend that his little habit hasn’t rubbed off on me, even though I barely know him. But I can’t help it, and I couldn’t resist doing the same thing with my guys at the firehouse. Plus, I thought I would win this one,” he says as he walks out of my place.
“Yeah, I get how you get hooked on it.”
“There has to be another show we can pick up next week.” He waves as he presses the button to the elevator.
“You mentioned watching Love is Blind . Is there something similar to that? I mean, there has to be something else,” I say.
“We’ll think of something. I’ll ask the guys at the station.”
“Have a good shift tomorrow night. I’ll try to think of another show in the meantime as well. Also, consider what I said about Baylee. Don’t leave her hanging.”
With that, I shut the door, walk toward my computer, and hunker down next to the window to soak in the snowfall.
“Yes, Mom, I think a flight to New York for Christmas is best, instead of meeting in California. Plus, it feels like Christmas on the East Coast. It’s eighty degrees on Christmas sometimes in Palos Verdes,” I tell my mother while I’m on a call with her figuring out our plans for the holidays.
We’ve been making plans extremely last minute this time because my sister-in-law was waiting to hear back on possible work commitments that have now become a reality.
She cannot leave the city, and we are all coming to her.
At first, my parents were hoping I would still fly out to them in California and then see my brother afterward, but I think I have convinced her to head to them so we can meet in one spot.
“Listen, I’ve gotta run. I’m headed into the market to grab some things for dinner.
Love you, and please book your tickets because it’s not that far from now.
I already got my flight booked earlier.” I hang up quickly as I move through all the people walking down the aisles.
It’s a zoo today, probably because I waited way too long to get out of the house, and now it’s rush hour, and people are all out of work and doing exactly what I had intended—prepping their meals for the evening.
The moment I turn down toward the butcher, I see someone who causes me to freeze. I swear all the air is sucked out of me. Damn it. I was not prepared to see Clay right now. I bring my hand to my chest and try to calm myself. I can feel my heart beating erratically.
He turns his head in my direction, and then I realize my panic is for nothing because it’s not Clay, it’s River.
Our eyes lock, and what used to be that playful side of my brother-in-law is non-existent when he realizes I’m standing in front of him.
I see his jaw tick, much like his brother’s did that day at the bar when I stood next to Malloy.
I decide to be the bigger person and take the few steps to eat the distance between us.
“Hey, River, how are you?” I tuck my hair behind my ears, holding the basket that I have yet to fill with food with the opposite hand.
I can tell River would rather ignore me, but it’s not in his nature. He takes a breath and then decides not to be rude.